queenzaftig-blog

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Pretty in Pink by queenzaftig featuring handbags totes

Women plus size dress / Charlotte Russe heeled sandals / Handbags tote / NAKAMOL post earrings / Old navy jewelry

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Old Navy Womens Color Blocked Enamel Bangle ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more bracelets bangles)

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Summer Blues by queenzaftig featuring women plus size dresses

Women plus size dress / Journee Collection flat / Top handle handbag / Nine West watch bracelet / Nine West geometric earrings

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Boohoo Plus Eliza Peplum Skirt ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more cotton mini skirts)

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Fear

I was having a conversation with a co-worker that sparked a thought in my mind. The concept of fear came into discussion and it led me down memory lane. Before I dive further, lets define the word "Fear".  "Fear -an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat". There was a time in my life when I walked around in a constant state of fear. Growing up in that state had a negative impact on my decisions and my perception of the world. I could not appreciate the beauty, the culture, and the joy of life. Most issues I have overcome were a direct result of things that happened to me during my childhood. When fucked up shit happened to you as a child, you do not "outgrow" it. Those memories are imbedded in your brain, they become apart of your being, and shape your perception of the world. Fear was something instilled in me by my mother. She was fierce, blazing harsh curse words out her mouth and using her fist, shoes, extension cords, and just about anything you can think of to punish my siblings and I. This happened on a daily basis, for common childhood hiccups such as getting your clothes dirty, bed wetting, not cleaning up your room, arguing with siblings, and occasional clumsiness. If I stood next to my mother and she raised her hand (for any reason), I would flinch in fear that she might hit me . I just never knew what was going to set her off next. I was emotionally unstable, highly anxious, and self-conscious about everything I did. Most black mother's pride themselves on " beating the shit" out of their children. In my community yelling at, screaming at, and beating your children meant you were a good mother. These poor practices are masked by calling it "Discipline". Discipline uses different approaches to teach, reinforce, and introduce structure to children. It is an on going process and requires patience, dedication, and repetition. This is the total opposite of beating children. Beating children doesn't teach them anything but how to lash out in emotional frustration.  Because when parents beat their children,  that's exactly what they are doing. They are releasing pinned up emotions and venting frustration. As I grew into my teenage years, I viewed the world as a negative place. I believed everyone was shady or had some agenda to get over on me. My mind was closed off to meeting new people and trying new things. I sought out negativity in the world and attached myself to it. During those years, I was very depressed and would often drift off alone and just cry. I was an emotional wreck and could not understand why I felt so bad. I began to look for something to make me feel good. Sex, drugs, food, and alcohol became my options and I indulged in all four heavily.Attending college is actually what set me free from fear and negative thinking.  I attribute my education to my overall personal development because it developed my critical thinking skills. I started to examine my life from a logical prospective.  I started to analyze my actions and their contribution to my situation. Through that analysis I started to realize that no outside source can harm me unless I allow it to.  I realized I don't need any outside source to make me feel good. I started to see that I am the one who controls whether or not I'm happy. Happiness isn't within material possessions, a significant other, or money. It's about your mental state and how you feel about yourself. It's about your satisfaction with yourself, your life, and where you are at this point. It's about if your holding on to the past and its weighing you down. It's about if your attaching yourself to other peoples problems and its weighing you down. It's about if your surrounding yourself with negative energy and its weighing you down. If you haven't caught on yet, you can see that the focal theme in this is YOU. Overcoming fear and negativity took years to accomplish. I feels as if a humongous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time, in my life I can honestly say I am truly happy. It feels amazing to live life and enjoy it without being worried, anxious, or fearful without reason. Are you allowing outside sources to control your life? Are you consumed with anxiety and fear? Dig deep into yourself and find out why. You have to address that issue to improve your quality of life.You have the power to control your mind and your thoughts. It's your responsibility to dictate the outcome of your life. Grab the wheel and turn your life in the direction you want it to go!Thank you for reading :)

© 2017 Queen Zaftig

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The Fight Against My Beliefs

Today I found myself thinking about the resilience I showed by pulling myself out of being homeless with no income. The determination I exhibited by graduating college with honors despite the death of my daughter’s father (and my grandmother) during the last semester. The strength and courage it took for me to relocate my daughter to a new city, without help, in search of better career opportunities. Before today, I viewed these as a series of unnecessary life events rather than accomplishments. I never gave myself credit for anything I’ve overcome.Subconsciously, I believed real accomplishments only came from instant gratification. As a young child, seeking instant gratification was engraved in my mind as a way of life. It was a sense of pride in my community. Making fast money, being flashy, and bragging to others were signs you “made it”. This had a heavy impact on how I made decisions as I grew older.Chasing fast money, with no long-term plan for survival, enabled me to become unconcerned with the direction of my life. As a result, I found myself homeless on the streets of Los Angeles. The first serious decision I made regarding my future was to move to the south for a “fresh start”. Unknowingly, this decision would set off a chain of events that would lead me to start committing to long-term goals. It took years for me to realize that anything worth having in life will require long term dedication, focus, and consistency. I have now restructured my belief system and plan to take my life to the next level. I dedicate my time and energy toward setting a foundation to accomplish my goals. I’m also learning to give myself credit the completing the small tasks necessary to achieve my long-term goals. I am empowered by with knowledge from my past experiences and am ready to take on the world.I challenge you to examine your current belief system. You must ask yourself if it is hold you back from achieving your goals. Open your mind to new practices and of ways of thinking. Set your own standards for how you want to live your life. It is totally fine to be different from your family and friends. If they love you, they will stand by you. If not FUCK ‘EM; plain and simple. This is your life, take control and do what is necessary. Give it some serious thought, YOUR WORTH IT!  Thank you for reading 😊

© 2017 Queen Zaftig

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Struggle for Independence in a Dependent World

At the age of eighteen I got my very first job. I still remember the pride I felt when I got my first paycheck. I was so proud to be working and making 7.25 per hour (California minimum wage back in 2003). I had hopes and dreams of moving out of my mom’s overcrowded 2 bedroom house and getting a car. Those dreams soon faded away as I realized my 496.93 every two week was not enough to get an apartment or a car. Hell, it was barely enough to catch the bus and buy some new clothes. Nevertheless, I carried on working, working, working….Fast forward to age 32 and I’m still working but what have I really accomplished? There are 24 hours in a day, 8 of which I need to sleep. This leaves 16 hours available in a day for me to live my life. From the time I get up in the morning, get dressed, drive to work, punch-in, work, punch out, and drive home; 16 hours have gone by. I pretty much come home from work and go straight to sleep. This has been my routine for the past 4 years, 4-5 days per week. Which leaves me only 2-3 days per week(and sometimes less) to live my life. However, most of this time is spent recouping. I have made so many sacrifices due to work. I have put off doctor appointments, put off spending time with my daughter, delayed/canceled vacations. They even have the nerve to call me on my days off to ask me questions about work. My life has basically been dedicated to my employer.

What kind of life is this? This is damn sure not what I had in mind when I was a child. You know that question we all get asked as a kid. " What do you want to be when you grow up"? I wanted to be movie star so I could be rich and a pediatrician so I could deliver babies. I wanted to be a lot of things but never like I am today. This is a source of anxiety for me because I feel like I'm going against myself . I feel as if  I'm going against my hopes and dreams. Trading it all in for the "American Dream" of a stable full time job with benefits and retirement funding. Grindin' for the white house with the picket fence, kids, and a dog. But all I truly want is to be free. I’m starting to see that there is no fulfillment in working for someone else. I want to be free to enjoy my daughters childhood years. I want to be free to express my creativity and ideas. I no longer want to ask for permission to go to the bathroom. I no longer want to ask permission to go on vacation. I no longer want to be threatened about having my income taken away if I don’t meet certain “criteria”.I am now on a mission to discover what it takes to free myself of this burden. The path isn’t quite clear but I’m still plowing through. I will devote my time focusing on my goals and aspiration. I feel empowered now that I’m taking these steps. I believe it is my duty to control my destiny.What are your goals and ambitions? Are you taking control of your destiny? It’s never too late and the time is now!Thank you for reading :)

© 2017 Queen Zaftig

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Titty Gravy

I can hardly contain my laughter as I type this. This is an interesting taboo sort of topic. I know your thinking " Titty Gravy, What the hell is that"? Titty Gravy is the substance that cooks up in between powdered tits once they begin to sweat. As summer approaches, I can't help but take a trip down memory lane and  remember my many failed attempts to prevent sweat accumulation under and between my breast. I followed the advice of my mother and friends and applied powder on my breasts.  As soon as my  body temperature rose and the sweat beads began to form, another substance began to brew right along with it. One look down at my boobs would reveal clumps of white titty gravy stuck to my tits. Disgusting right?! I was determined to figure out a way to prevent this.

After years of trail and error, I've found spray on deodorant to be the best at preventing sweating and odor. I simply shower, moisturize my skin, hold the can a few inches from my skin and spray lightly. These steps ensure I stay clean and dry. Most importantly,"the girls" are happy; if "the girls" are happy, I'm happy. Have you ever had this issue? What is your remedy? If not, try this and tell me how it works for you. Thank you for reading :)

© 2017 Queen Zaftig

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And my only regret is I couldn't eat it all lol...but trust me I tried Lol #foody #soulfoodies #houstoncuisine #curvygirlsrock #plusisequal #plusmodelmag #chicnaturalistas #nursesrock #registerednurse #plussizebeauty #bloggergirl #curvyfashion #psblog #psblogger #bodypositive #goldenconfidence #plussizefashionista #volup2isdiversity #plusmodel #plussizestyle #fullfigured #beautywithaplus #loveyourcurves #fullfiguredfashion #newblogpost #newblogger #bloglife #QZExclusive #lifestyleblogger #blogspot (at Viola & Agnes'. New Soul Cafe)

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Steppin' out #curvygirlsrock #plusisequal #plusmodelmag #chicnaturalistas #nursesrock #registerednurse #plussizebeauty #bloggergirl #curvyfashion #psblog #psblogger #bodypositive #goldenconfidence #curvesreign #plussizefashionista #volup2isdiversity #plusmodel #plussizestyle #fullfigured #beautywithaplus #loveyourcurves #fullfiguredfashion #newblogpost #newblogger #bloglife #QZExclusive #lifestyleblogger #blogspot #curvyfashionista

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Missing my daughter *sighs* #motherhoodthroughinstagram #emptynest #missingmydaughter #mydaughterismyworld #daughtersrock #bforbrandi #curvygirlsrock #plusisequal #plusmodelmag #chicnaturalistas #nursesrock #registerednurse #plussizebeauty #bloggergirl #curvyfashion #psblog #psblogger #bodypositive #goldenconfidence #plussizefashionista #volup2isdiversity #plusmodel #plussizestyle #beautywithaplus #newblogpost #newblogger #bloglife #QZExclusive #lifestyleblogger #blogspot

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Yes!!#curvygirlsrock #plusisequal #plusmodelmag #chicnaturalistas #nursesrock #registerednurse #plussizebeauty #bloggergirl #curvyfashion #psblog #psblogger #bodypositive #goldenconfidence #curvesreign #plussizefashionista #volup2isdiversity #plusmodel #plussizestyle #fullfigured #beautywithaplus #loveyourcurves #fullfiguredfashion #newblogpost #newblogger #bloglife #QZExclusive #lifestyleblogger #blogspot #curvyfashionista

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After overcoming the habit of negative thinking I realize how it impacted my overall attitude and how I treated people. It is so easy for me to see this quality in people as I interact with them. I feel so bad for them because they don't realize the power of their mind and their ability to control it. #curvygirlsrock #plusisequal #plusmodelmag #chicnaturalistas #nursesrock #registerednurse #plussizebeauty #bloggergirl #curvyfashion #psblog #psblogger #bodypositive #goldenconfidence #curvesreign #plussizefashionista #volup2isdiversity #plusmodel #plussizestyle #fullfigured #beautywithaplus #loveyourcurves #fullfiguredfashion #newblogpost #newblogger #bloglife #QZExclusive #lifestyleblogger #blogspot #repost

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August 2015 in Atlanta for the J Cole concert. That was a great show. #birthdaymemories #leos #augustbaby #atlconcerts #jcoleconcert #curvygirlsrock #plusisequal #plusmodelmag #chicnaturalistas #nursesrock #plussizebeauty #bloggergirl #curvyfashion #psblog #psblogger #plussizefashionista #volup2isdiversity #plusmodel #plussizestyle #fullfigured #beautywithaplus #loveyourcurves #fullfiguredfashion #newblogpost #newblogger #bloglife #lifestyleblogger #blogspot #curvyfashionista #tbthursday

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Steppin' Out by queenzaftig featuring red hand bags

Long sleeve lace dress / Pointed-toe pumps / Red hand bag / BaubleBar layered necklace, $41 / 1928 jewelry

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Running Errands by queenzaftig featuring River Island

Open shoulder top / Simply Vera stretch jeans / Black shoes / Skull purse / Miss Selfridge hoop earrings / Avenue bangle bracelet / River Island sunglasses, $18

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Doublju Deep V-Neck Surplice Ruffle Blouse Cross Wrap Tops For Women With Plus size (Made In USA) ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more plus size blouses)