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[queerlymormon]

Sunday thoughts for Tumblrstake 10/8/2023

Hello folks. Couldn't sleep last night so hard that it became this morning. But I took the opportunity to do a little bit of study along with some extra things this afternoon.

Since I think you can get a lot out of studying on your own terms instead of just listening to my conclusions, I decided I'd just like to share some of the stuff I've been reading and listening to today:

TW for racism, systemic issues, etc.

Instagram/TikTok posts: (all from James Jones of Beyond the Block): On "thinking celestial"... What the Black Menaces teach us about idolatry "The sin next to murder" Mormon Stories Podcast Praying the gay away as a Mormon teen Stacey Harkey on “leaving” the Mormon Church

Dialogue Journal Truth and Reconciliation: Reflections on the Fortieth Anniversary of the LDS Church’s Lifting the Priesthood and Temple Restrictions for Black Mormons of African Descent (much less scary a read than the length of this title would lead you to believe) ---

My messy summary

Deuteronomy 5:9-10, KJV (italicized for emphasis)

9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto [idols], nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, 10 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

I always felt uncomfortable about this verse. Mentions of God as a jealous god feel harsh to me and others with a generally universalist perspective on salvation -- we have a desire for others to be able to be happy now and in the eternities.

Even further bothering me has been the generational guilt that is implied here -- a curse upon someone, their children, and their children's children. But today I see it not as a curse but an explanation of how familial trauma and societal inequality persist.

In the Truth and Reconciliation article I shared, our author brings up that the church might try modeling a truth and reconciliation intiative similar to the one which was used in the country of South Africa after the abolishment of Apartheid.

Obviously, a truth and reconciliation initiative is more complicated when those needing to ask for forgiveness may not have been guilty of the transgressions themselves but may be the present-day representatives of those persons, policies, and institutions responsible for the wrongs. Nevertheless, it seems that they must take the risk of responsibility if true healing is ever to take place.

As modern-day generations, it falls on us -- particularly us in positions of privelige and power, but also to anyone who feels "called to the work" -- to right the wrongs of the past. We may bear no personal blame for the events of the past, but without our own efforts, inequality and unkindness will persist.

I hope I (and you!) can believe and remember this quote from Nelson Mandela:

No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.

[queerlymormon]

Rules

No real-life people (no church leaders, no prophets from the scriptures etc)

Only submit a character once. You can submit as many other characters as you like

Characters can be either Canonically Mormon or just your personal headcanon. Please specify in your submission if it's canon or headcanon, and elaborate on why this particular character feels mormon to you.*

Characters can fall anywhere on the mormon spectrum, if it's your headcanon, I would love to hear how you think they feel about the religion!**

Propaganda is allowed and encouraged! But please only propaganda that builds up a character, not one that tears down the opponent.

OC's are accepted! Please provide a detailed but succinct description so voters can know who they are voting for!

*I won't include characters from media that was made specifically to mock Mormons. (eg. The Book of Mormon Musical).

*This is mostly targeted toward characters with a background in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. However, if you want to submit characters with FLDS or Community of Christ backgrounds, or some other form of Mormon background, it's all great! I will accept exmo submissions but please be thoughtful and kind.

Religion is a complicated subject, and I know there are a lots of people who have been hurt by the LDS church (myself included). Please take care of yourself and block this blog if it's going to cause you any kind of distress.

If you send messages/asks/reblogs/tags attacking me, the lds church, or religion in general you will be blocked. I kindly ask that you leave us in peace to have fun

Submissions will be open until June 18th!

[queerlymormon]

The catholic-character-tournament that's going around is making me wanna do a mormon one. We should start headcanoning more characters are mormon

but also I don't know how many people will participate and and if people will be mean about it .... :/

EDIT: Actually let's make a poll out of this. If I did it I'd want characters who could fit anywhere on the spectrum of mormondom.

[queerlymormon]

Things Mormons at BYU did after I came out as nonbinary

(Multiple people) asked me my pronouns, and consistently used them.

Roommate made me a tie to wear to church

When I auditioned for a play, I was cast in a male role (as requested)

Student director offered to change the pronouns in the script to make them match my own if I got cast as a certain character (I didn't get into this play but the offer was nice)

Ward Choir director happily let me sing with the tenors, and the rest of the tenors encouraged me even when some of the deeper notes were hard for me to hit.

(multiple people) complimented me on the androgynous outfits I wore to church (including my former mission president)

Asked me genuine questions about my gender, or my faith, and really listened when I shared.

Along with lots of other kind gestures that helped me feel safe and at home. I told many people that my boyfriend was a transman (which in the eyes of BYU would make us a same-sex couple) and the responses I got were:

People were happy for me

my roommates let my boyfriend stay over at our apartment for a couple weeks

Lots of people want to come to our wedding

Absolutely nobody got anywhere close to outing me or reporting me to the Honor Code office.

Obviously, I was not ideal, I had some negative experiences too, and some people who would consistently misgender me who I just didn't feel comfortable correcting. And I don't want to ignore the difficult experiences many queer people have a BYU. I know that it can be dangerous and terrifying.

But I wanted to share my experience to say that there is hope for change. There are people who are happy to support you. There are people who will fight alongside you for the inclusivity BYU and the LDS faith in general so desperately need. When I first realized I was queer at BYU I immediately distrusted everyone, and I missed out on a lot of friendship and joy because I was so afraid people would discriminate against me that I never gave them a chance.

[queerlymormon]

Happy Sunday!

Sorry I have just ... not actually been doing my youtube channel. I want to. There have been circumstances.

I just wanted to give a little update! I have recently moved and started a new job, and navigating being a queer mormon continues to be complicated and interesting.

I went to my new ward for the first time today. Last night I prayed to the Heavenly Parents for guidance on how to make sure I could feel at home in this ward. I pulled a card from my Oracle deck that basically said "be vulnerable."

I sat through sacrament meeting by myself, getting a few looks from people. Maybe because they didn't recognize me, maybe because of my red plaid shirt and tie on an obviously afab body. I enjoyed singing the hymns (some of which I don't think I've heard before, whoever is picking songs in this ward was reaching for the uncommon ones today) and the talks were good. I haven't had the sacrament in a few weeks (moving hassle stuff) so it was really nice to sit and talk a little with God about stuff I know I need to work on.

After Sacrament meeting, I just kinda followed the crowd until I ended up in the Relief Society room. I hadn't realize we were split this week. I haven't gone to Relief Society since I came out as Nonbinary (Feb 2020) but I decided to try and be vulnerable and I sat down. I made myself ask someone her name, and we ended up having a very nice conversation, she was very welcoming. She complimented my outfit and I told her that I'm nonbinary, don't feel comfortable in dresses, and usually don't go to relief society. I wasn't sure what she thought about that information but she accepted it without comment.

The lesson was about finding strength in trials. I didn't say much but it was cool to listen to the experiences and beliefs of the women in that ward, I really felt like they knew what they were talking about -- as opposed to some of the singles wards I've been in when people say "trials" and they just mean too much homework etc. When we started talking about covenants, one woman said "some of us in this room might not be able to go to the temple right now" but she clarified the ways that this topic still applies, and the love that Heavenly Father has for all his children. That meant a lot to me, because I can't currently attend the temple, and I've never had someone interrupt a lesson to make space for that before.

I talked to another sister after the lesson and mentioned that I use they/them pronouns and she was eager to learn, she says that her daughter uses them too. I hope I get to meet this kid.

Overall, everyone seemed friendly and kind, a couple of people remembered me from last summer when I came to visit, and I am hoping I will continue to have a good time in this ward.

[queerlymormon]

Responses to the Trans & Rainbow Y

The first is a quote in the Salt Lake Tribune about those who participated in lighting the Y. The rest are comments I want to remember from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

[queerlymormon]

It's been a while! Here's a video I recorded in March 2021 and finnnaaally got around to editing. It's about how the LDS church tries to pretend it's not homophobic, what I think the intentions are behind that, and how it still harms queer members despite their "kindness"

[queerlymormon]

“If you have straight white men defining what Zion is, you’re going to get a really distorted view of Zion. You’re not going to get Zion, is my point. We have to bring all these voices to the table, women, queer and trans folks, people of color, people who have been historically dispossessed, poor people, disabled folks. We’re not Zion unless we all get there…You cannot be Zion if people are left out. You cannot build Zion if only a small fraction of people take their image of Zion and use it through unrighteous dominion to deny the humanity and dignity and divinity of other people. You cannot separate the question of Zion from the question of power when you ask what Zion looks like right now? We’ve got leaders of the church talking about what Zion looks like, and it looks like no queer people. No queer people in the church now, no queer people in the eternities, that’s what they think Zion looks like because they have the power to enforce that view and teach that view and squelch dissent. That’s not Zion. That just can’t be Zion. When you look at the way Jesus humbled Himself for the sake of those who did not have power, how He gave up privilege, how He embodied Zion living.”

— Derek Knox, Beyond the Block Podcast, Episode 140 - Last of Zion beginning at the 1:00:00 mark

[queerlymormon]

David, please say something uplifting about queer mormons, Im this close to breaking into church headquarters and destroying all traces of the family proc

It's interesting they decided not to mention queer people at all in the Fam Proc, and yet most people view it exclusively as being an anti-queer document.

Oh sure, it says things about gender being eternal, marriage is between a man and a woman and describes some gender roles. But then you get down to the part where it says "other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation," and it's like, "Oh, this proclamation is for the cis hetero folks. The rest of us exempt from this."

What I can say about queer Mormons is we have been speaking our truths for decades, and despite the best attempts to resist and quiet us, the Church leaders at the top are responding. The Church has changed, and is changing. By refusing to be silent and go along, we show the strength of our truths, truths which are strong enough to force a church to bit by bit accept us as we are.

Once you know that God is on our side, and God doesn't view us as broken, that's a source of power to fuel us.

Queer people are among the bravest groups I know, and queer Mormons even more so. Coming out is such a lonely, individual act. The whole process from first starting to recognize you might not be straight or cis and how that knocks your world and sense of self, and eventually coming to accept and embrace this is true of you, and then to start telling others even though they may reject you. It takes real courage. It feels like it could cost us everything and yet we come out and reveal this part of ourselves.

The Church is poorer for not being a safe & welcoming space for us, thereby forcing most of us to leave.

[queerlymormon]

"Jesus did not bleed and die on the cross for us to be a corporation" -Derek Knox, Beyond the Block

[queerlymormon]

David Archuleta

I really enjoyed reading more about David’s story in this article! Some of the details were quite poignant and I think a lot of queer LDS folk can relate:

Before deciding to serve a mission, Archuleta imagined that dedicating his life to the Lord’s work would help him feel “cleansed” and “sanctified.” But after a year and a half, he said he felt “broken” and “devastated.”

“I didn’t know what to do anymore. How many times have I prayed and fasted? How many times have I read my scriptures and tried to keep my thoughts focused on the Savior and towards God, and it’s still there?”

He wondered if God had abandoned him and even considered taking his own life. … The first person he confided in about his sexuality was his mission president… The mission president reacted with love, compassion and understanding:

“He didn’t say, ‘Well, here’s how you can work on it, or here’s how we can change it’ … nothing like how to fix what I thought was broken. He said, ‘David, this must be one of the most important days of your life. Just know that I love you and you are doing a great job. Keep doing what you are doing.’“ … One day he finally felt God’s presence and immediately dropped to his knees. He pleaded for the Lord to take away his same-sex attraction. Heaven’s response shocked him.

“God said, ‘David, you need to stop asking me this,’” Archuleta said. “He said, ‘I don’t see you the same way you see yourself. You need to understand this. You need to understand my purpose for you.’

David: “God shows us that maybe we needed a different perspective on what we were asking for.”

[queerlymormon]

what a beautiful thing, to be queer. how lovely it is to be strange, to have edges that spill out over the lines, to be undefinable. the oddity of our hearts is something to be treasured. never change for anyone.

[queerlymormon]

[queerlymormon]

After the things said by Elder Holland yesterday I just want to say: this doesn't change anything.

And yes that is one of the reasons its frustrating, it's the leaders of the church once again digging in their heels, kicking and screaming, saying they don't wanna change.

But its the same thing they've been saying for years, and if I had hope for change 3 years ago I will continue to hope for change now.

Our Heavenly Parents love us. We are just as entitled to blessings, revelation, and acceptance.

I'm here if anyone needs support

[queerlymormon]

gonna make illegal queer mormon/lds merch with an extra heaping of gay, watch me

[queerlymormon]