quoigeniskies

[quoigeniskies]

note: if it's both of the yes options, just pick the "big stuff" one

[quoigeniskies]

I mean, fuck, I like bed. I like sleep. I like cozy blankies I like napping, I like to eep. I like Z catching and wink catching and counting sheep. I like doing beddie bye shit. Snooze it? Honk mimi

[quoigeniskies]

hi guys. woke up to this on my phone today. zero fucking recollection of writing this down

[quoigeniskies]

i highly encourage plurals to just make up their own words for things. we didnt like how binary(?) the "fully formed alter vs fragment" thing felt, so we just borrowed terms from a game we like to explain 4 levels of alter elaboration. you dont have to use commonly known terms. if you dont like them you can make shit up. its just words your using to describe yourself.

[quoigeniskies]

INTRO

(we interact from @starweaverss!)

Hi! We're a disordered, quoigenic system comprised of mostly/entirely fictives (more specifically, mostly crk + mcyt fictives). This is our sys-related thing blog, basically most system-related stuff will go on here.

Most people will have emoji sign-offs here on og posts, reblogs will just be. reblogs and such we don't really have a set tagging system right now

There might be (tagged) syscourse on here, fair warning. Any and all discussions we're completely open to having just so long as others are being respectful; treat us respectfully and patiently and we will do the same.

Fair warning - we want to talk to people / maybe make friends on here, but we also have very bad AVPD + depression. if we ghost you by accident..... sorry

we are VERY COOL with sourcemates and doubles!! waves at u

Main People who will be on here:

Sapphire (he/it) - Black Sapphire Cookie fictive, 💜

Salem/Sable (he/vey/xt) - Sage of Truth fictive, 🫐 (he won the layout in the war :// -sapphire)

Pearl/Lume (xt/she/lun) - Pearlescentmoon fictive, 🌙

Milk/Astra (they/sh💫) - Milky Way Cookie fictive, 🌖

[quoigeniskies]

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE YOUR HEADMATES!!!!

[quoigeniskies]

shadow milk cookie tumblr layouts

Thanks for 210 likes on my last smc post :3

like, reblog && credit if using!

Credits : 𓅪 , 𓅪

Tagging : @duplitism , @starry-anarchy

The middle ones are just random ones

&& they weren't meant to be added

[quoigeniskies]

The discourse around whether ramcoa as a term is antisemitic or not has opened the door to people once again fakeclaiming ramcoa as a concept

Wow, I'm shocked

I wonder if that was the point all along

It kind of hit me when I saw someone bring Qanon into this

What the fuck is wrong with you people that you think this kind of abuse denial is okay?

[quoigeniskies]

Something about that last post just really fucking irked me.

Normalize asking questions about your experiences and things you're not clear on

Yesterday, I had to ask some friends a question.

Any uterus having people that have had the electro therapy on their back-- very specific but Google isn't helping

Can the electricity on the lower back cause a period???

Wow, fucking cringe, what a faker, doesn't even know how her own uterus works, how do you make it this far in life and not know this stuff, FAKE UTERUS

I was so embarrassed to ask. I was scared, too.

And yet, I got an answer that I hadn't been able to find on my own.

Yes, it can happen.

Nice!

Well, first off, A, thank God I'm not hurt or dying, that's a relief. B, no one laughed. C, this shit isn't common knowledge.

Even if you think it's obvious, it's not.

Things can be related in the weirdest ways, and sound totally strange at first, and they turn out to be totally normal experiences.

What is dissociation?

Doctors say it's super complicated to understand, don't worry, you're not alone.

What's the difference between normal and pathological dissociation?

Oh, boy, let's sit down for this one.

What's the difference between trauma and abuse?

Fantastic question, first, are you doing okay? Second, it's complicated.

Could these two symptoms be related?

FUCKING PROBABLY, let's talk about it.

All these overgeneralized, sweeping statements, made under the guise of "correcting misinformation," and really only trying to prove people wrong instead of educate, hurt other people with that thing.

"Your doctor is ALWAYS right," fuck you, no they're not. "They know you better than you know yourself." Ohhh, fuck no, that's dangerous. "You MUST fit the criteria 😤."

The criteria:

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP?

Because you're failing spectacularly at doing any kind of good for the community you want to "help".

You lost the point so hard that your posts are now actively dangerous to people with CDDs that don't think clinically enough for you. You lost the point when you use papers that directly contradict each other over basic facts, and don't even realize it in your rush to be "right".

"Trust your doctor 100%," about any other disorder, would get you instantly canceled. Are you overweight? A POC? A woman? Trans? A combination? Well, you're fucked.

You, yourself, have probably never thought that.

So why did you say it?

Who cares what they're calling themselves, who cares whether the term is clinical, are they getting the help and support they need? Can we help clarify anything for them?

Using a people focused approach in therapy is totally fine, THIS HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE. It may be a doctor-focused issue, but it's not a treatment issue. In other words, for every doctor that prefers a parts focused approach, there's one that'll use a people focused approach just fine, if that's what you want to do. Good job getting into therapy, congrats! That's what's important.

"Fictives," are so well documented that complaining about them is laughable.

Alters can take years to come forward after events, and may latch onto a character years after their actual formation. Who cares if the person can pinpoint the cause, or if they don't even care enough to try, are they getting the help and support they need???

Instead of saying, "that's impossible," let's start asking, "how can I help?"

Instead of saying, "your opinion is wrong," let's address actual misinformation. Talk to pro/endos about the trauma basis of DID. That matters a fuck ton more than whatever you're arguing about.

Instead of laughing at people who don't know things, learn to socialize and present corrections in a pleasant conversation. God forbid you're seen "being nice," to the other side.

As a very good friend said, better than I ever could, this whole "prioritizing research always over listening to others' lived experiences" is just the plural version of "academic theory on queer experiences is most important." You need both.

Many things can be true, all at the same time. Opinions are onions, they all make me cry or whatever the saying is. Single research papers should never be used generally. If you put all the papers together, anything is possible. This paper doesn't specifically talk about that thing so it's not possible.

Another paper, just a click away:

Are people happy, healthy, and feeling supported in their life?

Fantastic, that's what matters.

This blog is open to basic questions that people are scared to ask. I would also highly recommend sending @cdd-safe-haven those kinds of questions. It's completely unrelated to syscourse, hopefully the information will help more people.

[quoigeniskies]

thinking of "chimerits/chimerive", which is a term we don't see as often. its a cool term and we like the ring of it :)

Finding ourselves thinking both "plural" and "system" as terms we use for ourselves to be inaccurate. Maybe it's our brain trying to have us move away from both terms due to recent discourse as well, as these feelings started coming up around the same time the "plural vs. system" debate started happening, but somethings began feeling.. off about them. Idk. We might take a step back to think it through.

[quoigeniskies]

Finding ourselves thinking both "plural" and "system" as terms we use for ourselves to be inaccurate. Maybe it's our brain trying to have us move away from both terms due to recent discourse as well, as these feelings started coming up around the same time the "plural vs. system" debate started happening, but somethings began feeling.. off about them. Idk. We might take a step back to think it through.

[quoigeniskies]

see look, for all the time i spend complaining about anti-endos identifying as anti-endo, at no point have i expressed that anti-endos are monolithic in their hatred. my criticism of the label and community is solely that i, personally, think it's petty and meanspirited to apply a label of "anti-[group]" to yourself, and that many other people also feel that way, and it's an unnecessarily hostile thing to do, especially if you claim not to hate them.

i believe all these things are true. i do Not believe that all anti-endos Actually Hate All Endos. my point is that i find it silly for the ones who don't to align themselves with a label that basically means "i dont like endos"

if you seriously believe all self-identified anti-endos have the same level of Bigoted Hatred, you straight up aren't paying attention to the conversation

now as ive said many times.... it completely makes sense to dislike someone who calls themself "anti-you". i dont fault endogenic systems who have emotional reactions to the label for the reasons i outlined above; and THIS is why i think it's a silly label to use at all! but taking that turning it into All Anti-Endos Are Evil is not even remotely productive

[quoigeniskies]

Terms, from a syscourse perspective

A very long ramble

We're taking this to a new post, starting fresh, and going more in depth. The original post is off course and confusing, and I've seen a few tags confused by the uptick in polls, so this is for them as well.

SO

We're not talking about which is liked by more people, we're talking about which term hurts people less. We're talking about people who are genuinely offended by the term plural because of the history that many prefer to deny happened.

Welcome outside of your bubble.

There is a very nasty history behind all these terms, and the type of people who identify with them.

Some plural systems, to this very day, proudly use the term empowered, despite the fact that empowered multiples were a literal DID hate group. Like an actual organized one, with multiple websites and political activism. Many still deny the trauma basis of DID.

It was the fight for the word "multiple" that sparked plural, an anti psych alternative, focused on personhood and autonomy of their system in a community that largely boycotted the diagnosis and treatment of MPD/DID at that time. There were groups that demonized anyone who identified with the DID label. There were sites about what failures we were as systems.

Endogenic isn't just the alternative for natural multiples, but empowered ones, too. Plural is far more synonymous with endogenic than CDD.

"System" is the current hot topic. Endogenic systems don't have a right to the word, they're not "real systems," just like vickies wrote about the fight over "real multiples".

Some plurals are scared to use system

History repeating itself, over and over.

And all of these words hurt.

I think we should encourage the use of system for endogenic systems, but that's just me. That is a positive step toward an inclusive word that everyone is happy with. I'm finding that I have a lot more words for my disordered experience that system isn't really something I feel a claim over. If you call me plural, knowing I have DID, you're going to hurt me.

Looks like many are back to liking multiple again, so we can look forward to round two.

But which words hurt the most people?

We are discussing two words specifically.

Plural

and

System

We're not talking about alternatives, the conversation was, "plural is safer than system as a blanket term, less people identify with system, plurality is something we all share," and I said, "no, system is safer than plural as a blanket term, plural is seen as offensive to many CDD systems, the priority of my blog. The vast majority do NOT relate to being plural or plurality, system is what more people relate to and are less bothered by."

The why is because of history and genuine offense, whether you like it or not.

You say that no one complains, but if you had said this the other way around, "systemhood is something we all share," would anyone have been like, "uhm, ackshually, if you call me a system I'm going to cry." What would those polls have looked like? We get a glimpse in the polls now.

So what are the numbers? It's still early, but there's really only two parts of the poll that really matter. Everyone wants more options, but I'm really only talking about the options for uncomfortable.

Plural vs system.

"Not medical" vs "medical"

Pro endo vs anti endo

Words are the root of syscourse, are they not? How many antis say, "if endos just didn't call themselves systems"?

Based on the numbers, system is the safer term to hurt fewer people. Endogenic systems mind system less than CDD systems mind plural. The complaints you're going to get would be more along the lines of, "endos aren't systems," rather than, "hey, careful, that can be offensive."

Are we finally saying the fight over "system" is over and antis won, plural is better now? Well, then, I don't know that lumping anti endos under plural is going to help the syscourse divide at all. Remember a couple months ago when antis forgot that they didn't invent plural? The big war over pluralpunk? And how much everyone tried to correct them that plural didn't belong to CDDs? Because it IS so synonymous with endogenic systems?

Start at the top of the post, reread, the fight starts again. Don't put antis, mostly CDD systems angry at endogenics, under the plural umbrella. I know we're not prioritizing their comfort, but it doesn't just hurt antis, but pro endo CDD systems, too. Our history is important.

And going to be honest, my memory is not that great. I'm going to forget my friend's preferred terms and I'm going to offend people. I would rather offend them with system. Less chance, less hurt. System is the most popular, across the board. I believe it's lost its synonymity with CDD.

I would REALLY love to hear opinions on this from all sides.

[quoigeniskies]

The tea is thus: using 'plural' as a catch all will not include people who don't identify as plural, inevitably, even if you mean it as an umbrella term. In the same way as saying 'the queer community' will not include everyone that could in theory fit under that umbrella as it has been defined.

Plural is a label that means 'more than one in some way', in its current usage, but despite painting with a broad brush people will reject it for whatever reason, and that's fine. Nobody has to identify with the label!

But everyone has to keep in mind that plural *will* be used as an umbrella term, it's fine if you don't want to interact with posts or communities using it that way, and furthermore that when you interact with someone one on one you do not assume what terms they are fine with and refer to what they prefer. If you see an intro on their blog calling themselves a system, do not assume plural is okay; when in doubt, ask and be respectful.

This is a big word soup but there is no way to make everyone happy. Plural is an opt-in label and that's okay. Making assumptions is never the right call.

[quoigeniskies]

i don't like anti endos, i don't believe we ever said that we did. not hating anti endos doesn't mean we like them. we personally don't hate. hate to us is extremely negative and affects our mentality for the worst.

using our energy to hate people rather than using it to uplift systems is just a waste of our time. anti endos deserve to change, not isolated or shunned from communities.

instead, we believe in providing a space to learn and transform their beliefs. this doesn't mean we agree with their views, but appreciate constructive conversations and the possibly of progress. the aim for us is not to exclude, but to gently guide people into a better understanding, even if it takes time. :)

[quoigeniskies]

changed our url to something a bit more removed from syscourse as we want to distance ourselves from the greater pro-endo community . we still firmly support endos syscourse and infighting is just *exhausting* to see lmao

[quoigeniskies]

One thing find aggrivating is "Don't dehumanize anti endos because that allows for other bigotry towards them" is taken as tone policing. Do you need your emotional support dehumanization? Really? Pathetic. If you cry about "I should be able to vent how I want!!!" and then say shit like anti endos are a plague on the community (That they inherently have a place in due to being systems), that is infinitely more telling that a system disagreeing with you makes it okay for you to dehumanize them to you.

How normalized this is in pro endo spaces makes me want nothing to do with the community.