r04dk1lld0g - Tumblr blog

r04dk1lld0g · 4 months

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saw a dead doe the other day on the side of the little road, and her fur was slipping off under the sprinkling rain. and i thought "me."

#depersonalization #derealization #dissociation #animal death #decay #bone #rot #thanatophobia #tw roadkill #cw roadkill #tw dead animal #cw dead animal #cw animal death #dead animal

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r04dk1lld0g · 5 months

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sometimes it feels like theres no point in doing anything because the ultimate truth is that im going to die. why start or finish anything, why experience shit, why go through pain and heartache and guilt and anger if im just gonna die? on the flip side though, experieincing the nice emotions is pretty cool. and the negative emotions have their own charm. i just sometimes w1sh it was easy to give up on myself, to just not do anything so i could fade away. so i could die, passively, without putting in any effort. but our bodies and brains arent made for that. they cant just let us die. so really living is selfish anyhow.

#depersonalization #derealization #dissociation #thanatophobia #death anxiety #death related anxiety #tw ed implied #tw death #tw vent #vent

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r04dk1lld0g · 5 months

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a roadkill rabbit in the mouth of a dog, blood-gone-cold under the warm streetlights. foreign teeth making a home in an empty body

#dissociation #depersonalization #derealization #decay #bone #animal death #rot #tw dead animal #dead animal #cw dead animal #my dog picked up a roadkill rabbit one night while we were on a walk and my dad almost got nipped trying to get it out of her mouth

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r04dk1lld0g · 5 months

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it feels a bit like i should be rotting away in the ruins of a church

#dissociation #depersonalization #derealization #abandoned #decay #bone #rot #midwest gothic #small town #american gothic #rural america #thanatophobia #death anxiety

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r04dk1lld0g · 5 months

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i dont know why i feel like this - it started yesterday thinking of being a dead thing but it was 'a roadkill rabbit' which i think ties back into a semi-traumatic memory. now its evolved into roadkill/dead dog

#dissociation #depersonalization #derealization #animal death #not really but just in case #roadkill

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r04dk1lld0g · 5 months

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sometimes it feels like itd be easier to just st4rve away to death

#ed mention #ed tw #tw ed #tw ed implied

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r04dk1lld0g · 5 months

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call me rottie or sheol ☆ 17yrsold ☆ she he ☆ very afraid of dying ☆ dogs/bugs/horror movies/canine poetry/ethel cain/texas ☆ jewish convert (eventually) ☆ midwest, usa

i made this blog becuz ive been expieriencing an uptick in death anxiety and needed a place to vent/sit with my discomfort, and to talk about some traumatic stuff. also might hav cotard's syndrome and i see myself as a dead dog or deer or girl

not gonna write up a dni - i block when i feel like it

blog warning for dead things, bugs, knives, unreality, trauma core stuff, maybe blood, ed/sh mentions. ill try and tag appropiately

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