rainesinsanity

[rainesinsanity]

My honest reaction to doomed siblings:

[rainesinsanity]

I'm tired of 'nice'.

Everyone tries to be nice, I was raised being told to "be nice". To my brothers, to my friends, to people I don't know. I was told to be the bigger person. Don't get mad when people make mistakes, forgive them. Share. Give compliments. If someone needs it more, give it to them. "Be nice".

So, I tried to be nice. I shared, I smiled, I said sorry, I forgave, I complimented, I was patient. I messed up at times, the times I was selfish or mean. Didn't mean to be, but I was a kid. I was still learning "nice". I didn't snitch on my brother when he did something he'd get in trouble for, even though he's done the same to me. I forgave the people who ostracized me. I said sorry when it wasn't my fault, because that way they didn't get in trouble. I didn't argue with what my friends wanted to do. I was nice, I tried so hard to be nice.

I try to look past the flaws. I try to defend them. I try to cop a plea for everyone.

"Well they're going through a hard time right now."

"But they're not on this line, they're not skipping."

"They're still a good person."

"They just didn't know what they did wrong."

"I couldn't go anyways, so it's okay they didn't ask."

Nice. Be nice. Be the person there for them when no one else is. Be the forgiving person. See the good in everyone and everything. Don't lash out because they don't deserve it. Don't don't don't don't don't don't don't. Don't be mean. Be be be be be be be be. Be nice.

I'm not perfect. I've been selfish, I've hurt people, I've been mean. I've said jokes that went a little too far. That doesn't mean I wasn't nice. But where has nice ever gotten me? I defended them to the end of the Earth. I tried to understand, empathize, to be nice. Being nice for far too long. I almost guilt tripped myself into being friends with someone who'd hurt someone I knew irreparably, out of fear of being mean. I don't argue because I'm trying to be nice. I'm trying not to hurt anyone. But when it all comes down to it, the "nice" I've been taught. The "nice" I've internalized isn't nice.

Nice isn't letting yourself be walked over.

Nice isn't defending someone who's wrong you and the people you love too many times.

Nice isn't always forgiving. Sometimes it's remembering and holding someone accountable.

Nice means nothing if it's not good as well. Being mean isn't the end of the world. Sometimes nice people need to be mean, and that doesn't make them any less nice.

I wasn't good, or bad, or mean, I was just nice. Which somehow, was worse. I was the neutral party. The bystander. The devil's advocate.

The devil doesn't need an advocate, he's got his own mouth. So, stop being nice to the people who don't deserve it. Nice isn't for everyone, nor was it meant to be.

"Be nice."

I will. Just not to you.

[rainesinsanity]

"I don't know if I should add this, it probably has too many details already."

ADD IT. PLEASE ADD IT. ADD MORE.

Overwriting is about prose; when you get to into it about the colors of flower petals and the intricacies of Victorian era wallpaper. It is absolutely NOT when you include immersive details.

Like a wanted poster while your character waits at the register, only way later does the man on the poster show up.

Fit little things in anywhere you can. No they aren’t imperative but they are though.

Don't spend ages describing the way light reflects off a glass of water. Focus on it a reasonable amount and then move onto to the messy stack of books beside it. Then the hastily folded and stuffed clothes peeking out of the dresser. Show us the dust collecting on a bell at the hotel check in, everywhere except the tip. Show me the heat of her breath hitting to cool air and making a brief cloud of fog. Then move onto the frost eroding tree bark. Half empty salt and pepper shakers in a diner. Wet paw prints on the floor after a rainstorm. Muddy tire tracks leading off road. Anything that doesn't take us completely off quest. Immerse me with the narrative. Drown me in the details. But don’t go all bible-prose on my ass.

It doesn't have to be 'important' to the plot to be important to the experience.

[rainesinsanity]

I made a playlist for my rosekiller fic......

link to the fic if you wanna read it!!

Down On His Knees

[rainesinsanity]

4 chapters and 8.5k words into my novel 💪💪💪

[rainesinsanity]

Tyty I'm not sure yet tho so we'll see

would y'all be interested in me possibly making a webseries??

like idk what it'd be about, but it would be like short chapters about different characters

and sometimes it's just funny stuff, but other times it's actually lore and chapters

[rainesinsanity]

[rainesinsanity]

would y'all be interested in me possibly making a webseries??

like idk what it'd be about, but it would be like short chapters about different characters

and sometimes it's just funny stuff, but other times it's actually lore and chapters

[rainesinsanity]

Bad news, y'all

You really gotta write the damn book to become a published author

[rainesinsanity]

GASP OMG YAY

im honored that we shared braincells omg(like we had the same thoughts) (and THANK YOU OMG)(those compliments always make me so happy)

I made a playlist for my rosekiller fic......

link to the fic if you wanna read it!!

Down On His Knees

[rainesinsanity]

Im glad!!!! it's lowk what I listened to while writing it

I made a playlist for my rosekiller fic......

link to the fic if you wanna read it!!

Down On His Knees

[rainesinsanity]

"One thing I'll never do is beg someone to choose me" - abt 300 words

I stared at the phone that contained all the messages of my love. Of my devotion. And yet that was how you repaid me. By playing with my feelings. Telling me that I was everything you wanted but now I’m nothing at all. You let me begin to love you, let me believe you would stay. In the end I gave my heart away and you threw it astray.

I know I don’t love you any more, that much is true. I do dislike you, as much as a girl that used to be in love could. I always had a feeling that the “us” would soon end. I didn’t want to believe it, and deluded myself anyway. I couldn’t- Wouldn’t see past the way you treated me; So gentle, so warmly. I let myself believe those touches were real, that you meant every word. But now I see you with her, so soon after we ended and I wonder if it was all just a lie. Every minute, every second, all this time, you never liked me. I was just in my fantasy, not facing reality, the truth.

Maybe you did like me…

But it was never going to be love. Not for us. I hope you're happy with her, since I couldn’t make you feel that way. I don’t like you, no not anymore. No more tears will be ever wasted on you. But I am jealous, just a little. That she gets the you I wanted to have, but in the end I won’t choose you. I don’t like you, I don’t love you, I don’t want to be your friend. I would never choose you over me, and I will never beg for you back.

You are the bare minimum and I do not need you. You can take your scarce texting, you barely holding my hand, all of that. Give it to her, or don’t. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So I take back what I said.

I don’t hope you're happy, I hope she is.

Cause I used to be her, and I don’t want her to be replaced too. She shouldn’t have to beg for your attention, and I shouldn’t have to either. I’m glad I didn’t. You can be a nice guy but a horrible boyfriend. And that’s what you were.

-Confessions of an Ex- Girlfriend

[rainesinsanity]

YAY!!!!

I made a playlist for my rosekiller fic......

link to the fic if you wanna read it!!

Down On His Knees

[rainesinsanity]

"Don't be scared. You're allowed to speak. If I wanted you to be quiet, I'd do something about it."

[rainesinsanity]

Pirate Whump

salty air and harsh wood rubbing on wounds, making them worse.

manual labor as a punishment, scrubbing the deck all night until whumpee’s back aches and their knees are raw.

lashings. good ol’ lashings.

Whumpee, an important passenger on another ship, gets captured by pirates and taken hostage.

tossed in the brig, a dark, dingy, cramped space with chains and metal bars.

drowning!

a sword pressed against their throat as they’re presented to the captain. (forced to kneel??)

Forced to join the crew and doing their chores with shackles on their ankles.

Strapped to the main mast, exposed to the elements (and the cut throat crew) and completely at their mercy.

Stuck in the crow’s nest (especially during a storm)

A new peg leg. Might seem silly but I’d like to see YOU laugh while walking on a chunk of wood with a newly healing leg stump.

cant think of anything else rn but feel free to add on!

my taglist is open by the way ;)

@toads-and-gremlins

@whump-till-ya-jump

@herhighnessthegoblinqueen

@scoundrelwithboba

[rainesinsanity]

I made a playlist for my rosekiller fic......

link to the fic if you wanna read it!!

Down On His Knees

[rainesinsanity]

Theia actually hates the winter

she hates the heat, but she hates the snow more