randomnotebookstories

[randomnotebookstories]

Posted a random two am writing to the wrong page. Excuse that and any errors.

no. 208

“You say goodbye very prettily.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” 

[randomnotebookstories]

Nightmare - Cullen x F!Trevelyan

Hey, all. I’m back to re-posting and editing my stories. Now that my tattoo has healed enough that I can lay it on my keyboard comfortably. Anyway, remember you can skip ahead and read all the rest of my Cullen x Trevelyan work on my AO3 here. Have a great week, everyone!!  Thanks so much for the love so far.

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The night sky was blanketed with heavy clouds as snow began to lightly fall from the sky. All of Skyhold was quietly asleep, having just begun their rest as they prepared for whatever the Maker had next instore for them. It was the well-deserved moment of quiet they needed before the Inquisition was to make its trek to Orlais and the Winter Palace in the morning.

But shouts of urgency soon started to spread throughout the keep as candles and torches were lit. Cassandra, in full armor and hand on the hilt of her sword, was marching out of the main hall, addressing the soldiers that began to gather below her. 

“Find the Inquisitor!” she commanded, trying to keep her voice strong, even though she was worried and trying to keep a stern expression. “Check all the halls, any signs of entry into Skyhold. Prepare for the worst!”

Natalie had gone missing at some point during the night, and it was only noticed when Josephine went into her quarters to leave a report on the Inquisitor’s desk to read in the mornin. But she found that the room in complete disarray. Papers were thrown off of the desk, the fabric on one side of the canopy bed was torn off, and half of Natalie’s collection of daggers - usually kept in a very organized jeweled box - were embedded into the wall next to the fireplace. From there, Josephine went to waking Leliana, Cassandra, and Cullen, and soon everyone in the keep knew she was missing.

The entire keep was abuzz as soldiers and the Inquisitor’s companions rushed about the keep, trying to find the missing woman. Cullen had tried to keep himself firm and orderly, ever the presence of a commanding force, but he had worry tugging at his heart as memories of stolen kisses and quick glances came flooding to his mind. He had to find her. To hold her and know she was safe.

But as an hour passed and then two, there was still no sign of the Inquisitor. Cullen had begun to have thoughts of doubt as he entered the garden, heading toward the small chapel and the shrine of Andraste. He needed a moment to clear his mind and find guidance. 

Anyone could have missed it, the small blanket tucked just behind the shrine of Andraste, especially with the room being as dark as the night outside. And the whisper that was so quiet that even Cullen wasn’t sure if it came from a voice or the wind.

The whisper became clearer as he stood in the silence, and this time Cullen could make out what it said. “Alex.” Taking slow, delicate steps toward the statue, he bent down to his knees and released a breath he had held for what seemed as a lifetime.

There in the dust on the cold floor, Natalie was curled up into a tight ball, clutching her knees to her chest a she shivered under the thin blanket. Her hair was loose, but tangled in a mess of knots at the back of her head. And she kept whispering in her restless sleep, her eyes pinched tightly together. “Alex.”

“Natalie,” Cullen whispered as he removed his gloves and placed a hand gently to her arm, waking her enough that she gently opened her eyes and looked at him. “Are you alright?”

Her red, bloodshot eyes locked with Cullen’s for a moment before all that happened that night crept back up in her mind. She sat up, slowly, the blanket falling to her waist. She had only on a light shirt on that left her arms bare and trousers that matched, stopping just above her knees. Cullen reached to bring the blanket back up over her shoulders, using a slow and gentle motion as though Natalie was a spooked horse. “I had a nightmare.”

“Your room looks as though you were attacked by a nightmare,” he commented, bringing a hand through her hair to get it to lay flat, but more so that he could make sure that Natalie was really there with him. 

A single tear began to roll down Natalie’s cheek, and she tore her gaze away from Cullen and back to the statue of Andraste. “I know,” she whispered, her voice catching. “I had to get the thoughts out of my mind somehow. I felt trapped.”

“Would you like to tell me?” he asked, watching as Natalie slowly crumbled back in on herself. It broke his heart to watch the woman he respected – and, dare he admit it, loved and admired – fall apart in front of him. Even if he couldn’t save himself from his own dreams, he felt like he needed to be able to protect her from her own.

Natalie took a weak breath, but nodded her head as her hand clutched to the pendant on her neck. “I told you of my younger brother, being in the Circle at Ostwick – Alexander. He was at the conclave, and was the last thing I remembered seeing before I got my memories back.”

Her breath caught again, but Cullen knew what she was thinking. That her brother had died at the conclave and that she blamed herself. “When I went to close the rift that first day with Cassandra… A body at the Temple still lay in front of it.” Natalie’s knuckles were white as she tightly gripped her pendant. “I could tell it was him because he still wore our family’s mark around his neck.”

Tears freely flowed down Natalie’s cheeks, and Cullen wrapped her in his arms, silently thanking he hadn’t worn his armor as she pulled herself to his chest. “He’s gone,” she cried, clenching her hands into Cullen’s shirt. “I should have protected him, but I couldn’t.”

The door to the chapel opened, and a messenger stood in the doorway unsure whether or not he should approach. “I have her,” Cullen called over his shoulder before he placed his lips to the top of Natalie’s head, breathing in the scent of her hair that always managed to smell of lilies. “I have you.”

Natalie’s body began to shake as sobs took control of her. Her hands clutched to the dampened fabric of Cullen’s shirt, holding him like he was the only thing keeping her above the flood; the only thing real in a sea of dreams. And all the while, Cullen just rested his lips on the top of her head, stroking one hand along her back while the other held her tightly to him.

When her breathing finally began to slow and become more regular, Cullen was sure she had fallen asleep. But her one hand began to run along his chest, and he glanced down to see that Natalie was watching as she traced the wrinkles in his shirt with the tips of her fingers. “Do I have to go to Orlais?” she whispered, her voice barely stronger than a croak.

It was unthinkable a moment before, but Cullen did chuckle a little as he bent to gently kiss one of the stars by her eye. “If it were up to me, I would see to it that you had all the time that you needed grieve. But the Inquisition needs its Inquisitor.”

She nodded her head in recognition, but still asked, “Is there someone else who wants to have the job?”

“If anyone deserves to defeat Corypheus and be called ‘Inquisitor,” Cullen started as he shifted so he could lift Natalie into his arms and stand, “then I can’t think of anyone that is more deserving of that victory than you.”

The Commander carried the Inquisitor out of the garden, through the main hall, where many of those who were a part of the search and Natalie’s companions finally let out a sigh of relief when they entered. He brought Natalie up the many stairs to her private quarters, where everything had been organized and replaced. The bed had been freshly made with clean sheets, and while one side of the canopy still was missing a curtain, the blankets had been pulled back so all that Natalie had to do was lay down.

Cullen placed her gently onto the bed, and pulled the blankets over her legs. But when he went to place a kiss upon her lips, he caught himself at the sight of her finally sleeping peacefully. Even for a kiss, he couldn’t imagine waking her, so he doused the few lit candles in the room, made sure that the fire was burning properly, and then quietly left Natalie to sleep. The Maker knew he wouldn’t find any rest tonight.

When he finally entered into the main hall again, many of the people had returned to their own quarters, but Liliana and Josephine stood in his way. “The Inquisitor is asleep,” Cullen stated as he tried to get around them. “May I ask why the two of you are not letting me pass?”

The two women shared a glance before Liliana looked at him with one of her many mischievous grins. “I wonder… Do you know how to dance, Commander?”

[randomnotebookstories]

Hey, all. I’ll be getting back to posting soon. I’m just taking a slight break away from my keyboard and notebooks. I just got a new wrist tattoo, so I’m trying to keep it off of my desk and, since it’s my dominant hand, keep it away from abrasive surfaces. Plus I misplaced my iPad so that makes my life slightly harder. In the meantime, enjoy a picture of my new tattoo and how I try to lead my life by.

[randomnotebookstories]

Keeping Focused - Cullen x F!Trevelyan

Here’s the next upload I'm doing for my Cullen x Trevelyan series! Remember, you can check everything out at my AO3: Prairienitro, or just follow my Tumblr for new posts and the re-release of the edited stories. 

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"Who betrayed King Cailan at Ostagar?"

Natalie barely had a moment to think before a broadsword came crashing towards her face, giving her just enough time to drop to her knees so the sword just missed her head. “When I asked you to help me, I didn’t realize you would try to kill me in the process!”

Cullen panted in front of her with a chuckle, raising his shield as he prepared for a counter-attack from the rouge fighter before him. “I am helping you,” he answered as he watched the Inquisitor get back to her feet. “You’ve trained you mind and body to defend itself, but not to think freely while it happens.”

"So me trying to think of the names of Ferelden traitors is going to help me lead an army?" she asked before raising her daggers up to guard her glistening face. Her hair had started to fall from the braid she tied it it, and sweat caused the dust to stain her face. "I thought it’d be more like thinking of it as chess."

Cullen swung again, and Natalie blocked before swinging her body around his, taking stance behind his back and kicking him in the small of his back. He stumbled forward for a moment, then turned back to her. “In time,” he replied as he faced her again. “But first, you need to learn to focus on not the actual fight you’re in.”

The shield came slamming towards her face, and Natalie had just long enough to move left before it caught her shoulder. “It’s Loghain!” she shouted as she began charging at Cullen, placing a foot against his shield and using the momentum to bring herself up and plant her knee into his face.

"Oh, Maker," she huffed, dropping her daggers as soon as she landed on the ground, realizing the connection she made, and feeling her own knee sting from the impact. The damage she could have done to Cullen’s face...

Cullen laid on his back, sword and shield dropped to his sides as he tried to gain his breath, one hand gently touching his cheek that Natalie connected with. “Are you alright?” Natalie asked as she rushed over to his side. “I’m so sorry! I thought my knee would go past your head! I honestly didn’t-“

But then she was on her back, and Cullen was overtop of her with a dagger to her throat. A bruise was already starting to form on his cheek, but the smirk on his face didn’t show the pain. He used her moment of distraction to flip their positions and pinned Natalie to the ground. “You lost your focus.”

Natalie’s forehead furrowed in confusion as she looked at the blade brushing against her throat, then at the man above her. She couldn’t formulate words, trying in some way to defend her actions, or the lack of action she took. But she did lose focus. All her years of training, and she should have remembered the one basic rule: until someone yields or is dead, the match is never over.

"The training ground is no place for devilish deeds!" 

They both turned their heads to where Dorian and the Inquisitor’s other companions had gathered, snickering at their fallen leader and exchanging money from bets that were made. 

Wrinkling her nose at Dorian, Natalie rolled out from under Cullen, then turned to help him stand. “You really should have that looked at,” Natalie huffed as she tried gather her breath, poking gently at the bruise that was forming on his face and watching Cullen wince away from her touch. “I’ve been known to break some bones from slamming my knee into people.”

"Probably not just the face ones, yeah?" she heard Sera yell, and a light flush danced across Natalie’s nose, traveling up to where the small stars were tattooed under her left eye.

"Yes, I will," Cullen answered, ignoring the chuckling and jokes from their shrinking audience. "And, tomorrow evening, chess in the garden. Bring your daggers." With only that comment, the commander took his leave, instructing an awaiting soldier to gather his arms and to bring it back to his quarters.

Natalie picked up her own daggers and slid them back into their sheaths on her back. She puzzled for a moment as to why she could ever need daggers while playing chess, but as she made her way over to her friends, the thought was forgotten.

"I thought you were the one who was supposed to be able to defeat Cornelius, but you just got your ass kicked!" Sera laughed, again messing up Corypheus’s name.

"Indeed," Dorain agreed as an amused smile spread largely over his face. "Perhaps I’ve given my aid to the wrong side. With moves like that, I’m surprised we made it out of the Hinterlands."

The rest of her companions - save Vivienne and Solas, who didn’t grace them with a presence - agreed with Dorian in some fashion. Natalie just glared at them all. “It seems I should be in the market for some new companions. And friends.”

"Oh, hush," Dorain chided as he wrapped an arm around the Inquisitor’s shoulders and started to steer her towards the keep. "You’d never be able to replace me. Or, more likely, you’ll never be able to get me to leave." But once they were out of earshot of the others, he leaned in close to Natalie’s ear and whispered, "You must tell me, at some point, what it was like to have that man straddling overtop of you."

She hadn’t much thought about it, but with Dorian pointing out just how close she and Cullen were, how close his face was to her own… Natalie smiled back slightly at Dorian. “Only if you can explain to me why I’ll need my daggers to play chess.”

[randomnotebookstories]

Juliette and Andrew stared at each other before both glancing back down to the chair. A family heirloom, they were told when their parents brought it into the living room earlier that day, now lay shattered at the twins feet.

“Mama’s going to kill you when she finds out you broke it!” Juliette huffed as she took a step away from it as though it were a pile of snakes and not wood.

Anthony glared at his sister, putting his hands on his hips. “You broke it! It was your idea to sit in it!”

A look of pure shock crossed Juliette, her mouth hanging wide open. “Me? You weee the one who actually sat in it!”

And so the argument began, each dark haired twin’s face getting redder a be more heated their words became. Each called the other inappropriate names, fingers pointed at the other. All the while, a broken chair lay between them.

But rocking in an antique set of chairs on the back porch, an elderly couple sat listening to the heated argument.

“One day...” the man sighed, closing his eyes and lifting it up to the sun. “One day we’ll actually be able to trust them to not blame the other. Thank god we gave them a cheap piece of trash and not letting these beauties.”

The woman rolled her eyes, but she slightly nodded in agreement. “They’re twenty-six. I’m starting to lose hope that they’ll never be able to take blame when the other is remotely involved.”

A character breaks a chair

[randomnotebookstories]

Panic Attacks - CullenXf!Trevelyan

Hey, guys! I’m reposting all my old stories (with some editing) from my original Tumblr that I have saved on AO3. If you want to check them all out instead of waiting, click here to read my Cullen-x-Trevelyan series. Otherwise, thanks ahead for reading Panic Attacks, and enjoy!!

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Natalie Trevelyan stormed across the ramparts of Skyhold, her hands raking through the waves of her light brown hair while her grey eyes flickered back and forth, scanning the ground in front of her as she walked. In the weeks that the Inquisition has taken up home at the old keep, she had been rushed into extra meetings on top of the trips across that sent her across Thedas, trying to find a way to stop Corypheus, she was sure her mind was about to explode. Or possibly implode. She needed just a single moment of peace and quiet, to get away from the noises of planning battles and staking favors. And, now, they were faced with planning an attack on Adamant, a fortress in the middle of the desert.

In all her years of training in dual wielding of daggers, the years she spent pouring over books in her father’s study and learning about different battles, the time she spent preparing herself to join the Chantry at her parents request… Nothing prepared Natalie to be able to make decisions for a whole group of people, let alone the entirety of Thedas.

Resting her arms against the cool stones of the wall and looking out into the distance, Natalie’s shoulder-length hair fell in front of her face, then billowed out behind her as the breeze caught the soft locks as it drove its force past her. “How can I do this?” she whispered to no one, her voice so low that she could barely hear it over the howling of the wind.

“Inquisitor?”

There it was. The title that she didn’t believe she deserved, nor even necessarily earned. The title that she didn’t have the experience for. And yet, they placed all of the responsibility on her, they trusted her, and she could barely trust herself.

“Inquisitor? Are you alright?”

Natalie straightened her back and locked her eyes with those of the Commander of their army. Cullen’s face was full of worry, no doubt coming to make sure she was alright after storming out of the War Room when her three advisors argued about some details, pushing her over the edge of doubt. The three experienced people who Natalie drew strength from, and they couldn't agree on who to send where.

She should have told him she was fine, keeping the appearance of a strong authority figure. But when she opened her mouth, the truth overpowered the lie that was on the tip of her lips. “Honestly, no. I’ve no training for leading an army, like you or Cassandra. No experience on negotiating with nobility, like Josephine. I can’t even imagine being able to do whatever it is Leliana does to get information. And yet, somehow, you’ve all decided that I can lead us because my hand glows and I fell from the sky.”

Cullen leaned against the wall ,and just let Natalie continue her rant, never taking his eyes off of her for a moment, giving his full attention. “And, worst of it, I have to be the one between all of you and pick a side. I barely know which way the sun is supposed to rise lately, but I’m supposed to be able to stop Grey Wardens, and rouge mages, and Corypheus, all with the power bestowed upon me that I’m not even sure Andraste had anything to do with, because certainly She would have given the power to someone with a little more experience, and-”

Natalie began to breathe heavily, her hands pushing her hair to her face as she slid her back down the side of the wall to sit on the stone walkway. Her eyes began to flicker, seeing nothing as her mind began to panic. Her knees buckled and twitched as though ready to run at any moment. Too many thoughts ran through her mind: too young, too inexperienced, too naïve.

Her mind surely would have burst if suddenly a warm pair of hands hadn’t gently pulled hers from her head as Cullen knelt down in front of her. “Look at me, and breathe,” he instructed, and Natalie fought to focus her eyes on his.

When their eyes finally met, she watched as Cullen exaggerated taking slow, deep breaths, and Natalie found herself mimicking the process until the wild thoughts in her mind slowed to almost a whisper. Nothing in her mind existed aside from the feeling of Cullen’s leather gloves in her hands, the warm look of his eyes as they gently melted away the fears, and the tense muscles faded away as her breathing slowed.

“Better?” Cullen asked as he drew a thumb over the top of her hand, slowly relaxing the muscles in her fingers.

Slowly, she nodded. “I don’t know what that was about,” she whispered, her voice stiff as her throat tried to relax. “I’ve never felt like that before.”

“Your mind panics even though there isn’t anything present to fear,” Cullen explained as he finally let his gaze fall for a moment before bringing it back to her. “Sometimes, you may start to feel as though the weight of everything and nothing is pressing into you. Other times, just the added stress of one situation will send your mind into panic. But it does end. You just need to find a way to remind yourself to breathe.”

Everything he said spoke true to Natalie, and she straightened one of her legs out as the tension in her knee gave way. “You’ve felt like this before?” she asked, and when his gaze fell from hers, she understood. “It’s something to do with what happened in Ferelden, right?” Cullen had begun to talk about what happened to him, why he hadn’t trusted the mages, but he didn’t tell her much more than that. And, in a way, she understood. Someone so young, so inexperienced. Someone who was at the same point in his life that Natalie now faced.

“If you ever feel like you need to escape your thoughts again, whether we’re in the War Room or the training ground,” Cullen said, his tone low and serious as he brought his gaze back up to her, “just look to me. I’ll understand.

“And as for feeling like you’re inexperienced in dealing with this,” Cullen continued as he stood, then helped Natalie to her feet. “We all are. But whatever experience we have, it’s yours. Years of experience at your hands, just like those books that I’ve seen you sneaking away from Dorian.”

Natalie smiled and took her hands back from the Commander’s, pushing her hair out of her face and tucking them behind her ears. “Thank you,” she smiled, her gaze meeting Cullen’s for just a moment before she sighed heavily. “Alright. One step at a time, starting with the Grey Wardens and Adamant.”

[randomnotebookstories]

Welcome back!!! A few years ago, I closed Random Notebook Stories because my life got too crazy. Now... it’s slightly calmed down and I’m ready to get back into writing.

First off, hi to people who’ve never heard of me. I do mostly Dragon Age and Mass Effect fanfics, but occasionally I’ll throw in an original short story. I plan to re-release stories I previously wrote so they’re all back on tumblr, including the link to my AO3 account.

Then the new stuff will start!!!!! I’ll follow some of my old story lines, and I’ll be creating new ones as well. I’m always looking for new plot ideas, so feel free to throw them at me. Can’t wait to see what’s ahead on this journey.