ratchet-and-clank-eu-project

[ratchet-and-clank-eu-project]

fanfiction.net

So I think I'm going to write my Ratchet and Clank novel adaptations on fanfiction.net. I'll post a link later (not now) for anyone who wants to go and watch me over there. Over here Tumblr side I will be posting my own tidbits of Ratchet and Clank lore both officially cannon, and dreamped up by me to expand the universe, which was the entire purpose of this page to begin with. I'll keep y'all posted when I start doing stuff. I do absolutely plan on writing original stories at some point in the future. But not until I've finished adapting the series into novel form.

[ratchet-and-clank-eu-project]

Desicion made

I'm going to go ahead and continue with my writing out of the first game

[ratchet-and-clank-eu-project]

So, a little bit of discussion

So, initially what I wanted to do here was novelize all the Ratchet and Clank games as writing practice for when I start writing my original story. This would be a way of accumulating a following, refining my skills, and catching people up on past events, and also was intended to launch my own version of an expanded universe, much like that of Star Wars or Halo. Here’s the thing: I barely have the time to even write the games. If I commit to doing that first, I might never get around to writing my original story, which is meant to be a conclusion to the entire Future storyline. I want an opinion from whatever followers I have. What should I do here? 

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Ratchet and Clank - chapter 2: Stranded

Entering atmosphere of planet Novalis

During the descent down to the planet, Clank was able to triangulate the source of the distress beacon to be the Tobruk Crater. Ratchet proved himself to be a natural pilot by riding the jetstreams all the way to the location, which, admiddately wasn’t far. Had it been any further, this plan most certainly gotten the both of them killed. Their luck was running out, however, as they were now once again spiraling out of control. Ratchet hit the eject button just in time to escape a crash that completely pulverized his five long years of work. He fell screaming, and landed with a dull thud on the ground. Luckily, the grass was soft and was able to cushion his landing. He looked around while clearing his dizzy head, and found that his metal companion had gone missing.

“Clank…? Where are you?” He heard a muffled “I’m right here” From below him, and rolled over and pushed himself to his feet to find Clank smushed into the grass below where he landed. “Oh! Sorry about that! Clank got up and joined at Ratchet’s side, and they both looked over the Tobruk Crater. In it’s floor was a grassy valley that was carved in half by a river. The sun shone brightly on the surface of the water. There was a small town at the end of the river where houses were on fire. Blarg ships buzzed overhead, dropping bombs and robotic goons on the helpless village. But the bombardment of the crater village was nothing compared to the assault going on at the city that they could see in the distance. Without a ship, they had no way to get there. “Well, we’re not leaving the way we came in.”

“Perhaps we could procure a ship from one of the inhabitants?” Clank suggested.

“If there are any left” Ratchet said grimly. He looked down at the crater and the town that rested at the head of the river next to a waterfall that dumped into the crater. The buildings were burning and an army of bird bots, and the smaller peck bots were crawling all over them, and the rest of the crater floor.

Clank needed a way to remain at Ratchet’s side. With his stubby stature, there was no way he would be able to keep pace with a Lombax, even one of Ratchet’s height, which was short for his species. So, Clank retracted his arms and legs, compressing himself down to toaster size. He was small enough for Ratchet to latch him to the suspender harnesses on his back. This allowed Clank to be carried like a backpack wherever Ratchet went. It was convenient enough. Ratchet spotted a nearby Gadgetron Vendor. Gadgetron had these weapons kiosks scattered all over the central systems, and all the way out to the further most reaches of the galaxy. Each was remotely operated by a salesman sitting in an office at Gadgetron headquarters on planet Kalebo III via holo link. He walked over to the vendor, a light blue box with the Gadgetron logo floating above it. A big ‘G’ with the company name orbiting it. It had a receiver antenna sticking out of each side, and a blinking blue service button on top. Ratchet pressed it and the box broke itself apart and it’s inner contents unfolded into an interface of four screens displaying “WELCOME TO GADGETRON” at the top, a video link to a sales rep on the side, and icons for weapons on the bottom. The outer shell reassembled itself and projected a hologram of today’s weapon on sale: the Pyrociter. A flamethrower that was designed similarly to a water gun with two handles, with one sticking out the side, a scope attached to the top, and a fuel canister dangling from the bottom. Sparks spit out from the red nozzle at the front of the gun. A mere prelude to the arson that this fearsome flamethrower could create. He wired 2,500 bolts through the vendor, and in return, the weapon was teleported into his hands. Ratchet gripped both handles and grinned, bearing sharp canines in an expression of sinister glee. This is gonna be fun… he thought. He stepped on the lift that descended him down into the crater, Pyrociter in hand, and stepped foot in the lush grass. He was rushed by dozens of peck bots. He pulled the trigger and unleashed a blazing hellfire upon the swarm, stopping them in their tracks and melting them down into molten metal. The bird bots that were bombarding the town up ahead stopped what they were doing and all looked Ratchet’s way. He had certainly caught their attention. A flock of peck bots appeared from over the burning buildings and descended upon the fuzzy Lombax. He charged into the village ahead with his gun literally blazing. Not a single one managed to even get close. They were all liquidated in seconds by dozens at a time. The swarm of buzzing peck bots was reduced to a pile of molten metal puddles. Witnessing this and deeming the Lombax to be a threat, the bird bots up on the houses began lobbing bombs down at Ratchet. They were awful shots, missing their mark and blowing chunks of rock in every direction. Ratchet keyed in a command on his holo watch while bounding around the explosions and the Pyrocitor teleported out of his hands, replaced with his Bomb Glove, which he then chucked a couple of payloads from up to the towers. Shrapnel and roof shingles scattered everywhere. After making scrap metal out of the goons on the towers, Ratchet ascended a few steps up to one and ran through it to the start of a bridge that stretched over the river. The second he stepped foot on it, bombers roared overhead, bombarding the bridge, the explosions creating a thick haze of dust and debris. When it cleared, Ratchet saw that the bridge was now riddled with massive holes and was slowly crumbling away. Reinforcements had dropped in from above and were now setting up a roadblock on the other side. He began crossing, jumping from to side to side as bombs came flinging his way, and returned his own packages back at the bird bots at the other side. It took only a few to clear the road block, as the robots were clustered together. Their parts were scattered all over the place when he got to the other side. He ran down a staircase under an arch and came out on the other side of the river and was met by more robot reinforcements that had been waiting for him. He took shelter behind the archway as a rain of bombs fell on the spot where he was just at. He leaned out and chucked out his own bombs, blowing up the ones that had been waiting for him, but more just dropped in from the ships above to take their place. Peck bots charged towards him in large numbers, so he quickly sent the Bomb Glove away and telequipped the Pyrocitor to light a destructive wall of flame, singeing anything that got too close. The peck bots weren’t too smart so they foolishly walked into their own smelting grave. As the flames subsided, Ratchet walked through the smoke, tossing out bombs as he went, making a mess out of what remained of Drek’s ground troops, he passed through the mess of wires and bolts and arrived at the clearing. A shadow appeared on the ground, and he looked up to see a Blargian hostage ship coming in for a landing, accompanied by several more bird bots. They landed, surrounding the boxy transport vessel and launched bombs out in every direction. Ratchet had a good hunch that they were keeping Novalian prisoners on that ship. He stood and fought, blowing up the robots one at a time without suffering so much as a scratch. The sparks cleared and a ramp dropped down from the back of the ship, and a frail old Novalian man walking with a cane emerged, waving his hands around feverishly. It was minister Buckwash begging for his life.

“Don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me! What are you? Mercenaries? Torturers? Assassins? I- I’ll tell you anything. Here, take my info bot. It’s all I got left.” The info bot floated out from behind the panicking Buckwash and offered itself up to the duo. Clank dropped from Ratchet’s back and deployed his limbs into full body form, plopping to the ground on his feet, he attempted to console the frightened politician.

“Sir, we are not assas-”

“Hold on!” Ratchet interrupted. “Let’s see what he’s got!” The info bot opened it’s mouth revealing the screen inside. On it was a black and white video of a confrontation between Captain Qwark and a massive, monstrous creature called a Blargian Snagglebeast. It was slowly lumbering towards him, the cave they were in rumbling with every foot fall. Qwark was cornered next to a pit of lava, holding a blaster. He gulped, pointed the weapon and pulled the trigger. The plasma emitter fizzled and died, leaving the Captain defenseless. Just as the monstrous beast was about to devour the captain, the video paused and his voice narrated.

“Has this ever happened to you?” Cut to a storefront with a statue of a robot holding a giant wrench in the middle of a bustling city. “Hi, I’m Captain Qwark! And, believe me, there’s nothing worse than staring down a blargian snagglebeast, from the inside, and knowing your equipment isn’t functioning properly!” Cut again to the inside. Qwark is standing in front of the main counter. Behind it are shelves of various robot parts, and the shop owner: a slightly overweight Kerwanite, a bipedal monkey like species local to planet Kerwan. He was wearing a lab coat over a tee with the shop’s logo on it, and a pair of thick, round glasses. “That’s why I come to Al’s Roboshack for all my robotic repairs! Al has been the exclusive repair shop for my super electro gadgets since I was knee high to a sand mouse! And if Al can’t fix it, it’s not broke. Right Al?” Al opened his mouth to speak was immediately cut off by Qwark. “You said it, pal! So if you’re fighting crime, or just fighting grime…” He laughed nervously as if he related a little too much to the latter. “Come to Al’s robo shack for all your robotic repairs. Al’s roboshack! It’s Qwaaaarktastic!”

Clank shrunk the info bot and stored it with the other inside his chest compartment, and began downloading the coordinates it stored. They led to the great city of Metropolis on planet Kerwan.

“Ratchet, do you know what this means?”

“Yeah, Captain Qwark has really sold out!”

“No, it means Captain Qwark is in Metropolis. We could tell him about this invasion.”

“If we had a ship.” Minister Buckwash, who had been zoned out suddenly tuned in again.

“Wha? A, a ship? Y- You’re not going to torture me? Well, as planetary chairman, I could arrange for you to borrow out Cuirrier Ship!” A boxy green cargo freighter landed on the pad atop the cliff where the wreckage of Ratchet and Clank’s old ship sat.

“Cool!” Said Ratchet.

“You can count on us, sir.” Said Clank.

“Riiiiiight. Thank you your Chairman Shippliness!” An auto bridge built itself over the river, and Ratchet used it to return to the lift the brought him down into the crater. On his way up, he noticed a structure built into the mountain side. Back at the top of the cliff he found a cave entrance. Water flowed down an incline out of the cave and stalactites jutted up from the ground. Fighting against the current of the water, Ratchet climbed up top and jumped from one to the other. The cave rumbled and stalagmites dislodged from the roof and plunged down into the water with a splash and a boom, creating a path to two pumps with platform atop. When one pump would fall, the other would rise. He looked up to see a door up above. If he could get on the second pump, he’d be able to use it to reach that door. So he jumped on the first, waited, jumped on the second, and let himself get launched upwards and through the door. The room behind it was full of peck bots and chirped loudly at his sight and began piling on him. He severed the flock in half in several slices of the sharp end of his wrench. He ascended a staircase that led up into the next room which was circular and divided in half by a drain. A bird bot guarded the door, but had not yet noticed that it had opened. Ratchet stealthily latched his wrench onto the bot’s neck and yanked it back through the door, which closed in the same movement, severing the robot in half. Sparks flew from the bottom of it’s torso and the lights in its eyes dimmed. The door opened again but Ratchet was just greeted by explosions. There was a second bird bot in there. You must have saw me kill your friend, didn’t you? Ratchet thought. He equipped the Bomb Glove and cautiously re opened the door, side stepping a bomb and throwing his own back and watching the goon get pulverized by the pyrocidic payload. He jumped over the drain and onto a pump in the corner of the room and let him raise him up to the next door. He walked through a hallway that opened into a giant water processing facility. Channels of crystal blue flowed between sections of flooring. On the other side were two more pumps, and at the top of the room hung a shifty looking catwalk. Peck bots perched up on it, waiting for him to make it up there, which he did, jumping over the water channels, and climbing up onto the pumps that raised him to the ledge. He grabbed on and pulled himself up where the pests met him, chirping, and coming at him in rows. He ran across the catwalk, Pyrociter blazing, downing the robotic birds that were all aligned in a row, one after another as he went. The catwalk ended at another door, behind which was another hallway and another door at the end of it that Ratchet walked through. He was in a room with a large window overlooking the Tobruk Crater which was still getting bombarded by Drek’s ariel forces. Even more unpleasently, he was greeted by the butcrack of a plumber waving in his face. The plummer appeared to be working on a pressurizing unit that had broken down. Clank dropped from Ratchet’s back and stood at his side.

“Dag blast it!” the plumber exclaimed.

“Hey, look,” Ratchet laughed, “Plumber’s crack” The plummer immediately whipped around and gave Ratchet a stern look.

“What did you just say?”

“I said look, the plumber’s back.”

“Alright, wise guy. Shouldn’t you be on one of those escape transports?”

“Escape transports?”

“News flash: giant robots attacking! The escape transports are taking all the rich folks off the god darn planet”

“So why aren’t you on one?”

“Socioeconomic disparity”

“What?” Ratchet asked, confused at a term he had never heard before.

“He has not got enough bolts” Clank clarified.

“Working people have to wait for Captain Qwark to save us” the plumber explained.

“Well, got anything worth a lot of bolts?”

“I got this thing” The plumber pulled an infobot straight out from his crack. “Shows two weirdos ditching their ship. It’s got coordinates to a desert planet, too!”

“An infobot! Ratchet, we could use that.” Ratchet paid 500 bolts for the infobot which smelled like sweat and something else, and the plumber proceeded to dive down the drain.

“Dironimooooooo!” *SPLASH!*

“Did he just slide down a sewer pipe?!”

The infobot opened it’s mouth and presented a distress call. Ratchet immediately recognized Rilgarian hoverboarding celebrity Skid McMarx and his agent in the cockpit of their ship. There were missiles and explosions everywhere outside their ship.

“Mayday! Mayday!” Skid cried, “This is the solar ship radical! We seem to be under attack from the planet surface!”

“Relax, kid, it looks like some sort of fireworks display. Probably in your honor!” A missile flew by, barely missing them.

“That was close!” Skid gasped. A missle slammed into the ship, knocking it into the gravitational pull of a brown muddy planet below them. Planet Aridia. They started approaching at an accelerating speed as missiles continued to fly up from the planet surface, and Skid screamed in terror.

“Pipe down, I can’t concentrate!” his agent snapped while frantically sending out texts from his cell phone.

“But we’ve been hit!” The agent fumbled for an excuse to calm Skid down.

“Uh, and unexpected detour. When we land, I’ll see if I can scare up an exhibition for you.”

“We’re not gonna live that long!” A missle locked onto their position and began making a beeline straight for them.

“Kid… let’s amscray!”

“EJECT! EJECT!” The signal went to static the second the missile made contact.

Clank put the infobot away with the others.

“Did you see that guy on the left? That was Skid McMarx!” Ratchet exclaimed excitedly.

“Does he know Captain Qwark?”

“I doubt it. He’s a pro hoverboarder! Always going off about how ‘cool’ he is”

“Looks like he is in trouble”

“I’ll say! I’ve never seen him look so freaked out!”

Ratchet took a moment to stop and look out the large window that sunlight was filtering through. It overlooked the entirety of the Tobruk Crater, and he could take in all of the destruction that the Blarg had caused. And their ships were still buzzing about the place. From here he could make out the city in the distance, tall skyscrapers just peeking over the grassy green cliffsides. Blarg bombers pummeled the towers relentlessly. Shifting his vision higher he could see Drek’s mothership looming above the buildings. He watched on as presumably dozens of innocent Novalians lost their lives. And then a loud snap rung out, and with a flash a second mothership appeared out of hyperspace. A sleek, silver capital ship resembling a phoenix in shape. A smaller carrier ship deployed from the back of the cruiser and hovered above the city. Tiny figures were jumping out of it’s back, down to the city streets below, accompanied by dozens of smaller ships also streaming out of the cruiser’s backside and engaging the Blarg fighters. Any resident of the Solana Galaxy would recognize this famous vessel. It was the Starship Phoenix: the pride of the galactic fleet. Captained by the daughter of the president himself, the Phoenix was the capital ship of the Galactic Rangers, the Solana Galaxy’s valiant military force. Looks like the Galactic Rangers have got things covered… Ratchet thought as he watched the battle unfold. We should probably get out of here. Ratchet remembered the pipe that the Plumber slid down and approached it wearily. Well, it is the fastest way down… Not knowing if Clank was waterproof, he turned to the little robot who nodded in approval, then jumped back up onto his back. Without another fault, he jumped in with a splash, and the current immediately grabbed hold and dragged him down, faster and faster, the water roaring around him. “WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!” He zipped down the pipe, all the way down to the cave enterance where it spit him out onto the grass outside. He was soaked, fur matted down, and cargo jeans feeling heavy with the water that had absorbed into them. His whole body, ears especially were dripping profusely. Above him, Drek’s ships appeared to be abandoning the village in Tobruk Crater and flocking over to the intense battle that was taking place over in the city. The crater village was left in a smoldering wreck. An eerie hush fell over it, penetrated only by the occasional sound of a bird chirping or a bug buzzing, as well as the flow of the river below. There was the crackling of the fire below, but it was barely noticable. Ratchet figured this peaceful silence is what the norm was when the planet wasn’t being invaded. Sounds of explosions and gunfire echoed over the hills. It was peaceful again here, but the city was another story. Ratchet checked his watch and called upon Gadgetron’s map service to assess if there was anything left to do. According to the map, there was another cave system hidden in a small alcove behind the landing pad. He followed the map and came to a lake, on the other end was a locked door connected to a bolt crank built into the ground. Ratchet shrugged, he was already wet so more swimming wouldn’t be a big deal. So he jumped into the lake and propelled himself to the other side, then jumped out and latched his Omniwrench onto the Versa Bolt and began to crank it, doing so slowly pulled open the door, creating access to the reservoir caves.

The caves were illuminated by a type of exotic, glowing mushrooms… and had also been invaded by some of Drek’s robots. Three bird bots were hanging out in the first chamber that Ratchet entered. They spotted him immediately and started lobbing bombs. Ratchet took cover behind a mushroom, threw a bomb of his own out, dispatching one of the bots. An explosion nearby vaporized his cover and he was forced to keep moving, tossing out a second bomb, destroying another robot and leaving only one. He didn’t give it a chance to react and threw one more out, sending the robot’s pieces flying. The map on his holo watch indicated that there was a pipe under the nearby body of water. Ratchet jumped in, took a breath, held it, and dove down. The water stung his unprotected eyes, and he could barely see to find the gap in the rocks he was looking for, but he was able to push his way through the water towards it. His fur, ears, tail, and jeans all billowed out, pulled and dragged in every which way by the water, this extra drag making it a little more difficult to cut through the water. He squeezed through the pipe and came out at the bottom of an iron tank. Looking above, he saw the surface. His lungs were beginning to sting from lack of air, so he quickly made for the top and broke the surface, gasping in air and pulling himself out of the water. Standing on the edge of the tank, he looked down to see two more smaller ones below him, and the cave floor. A few peck bots were running around down there. They chirped when they saw him. He jumped and flipped, landing below, then truck both with two quick swiped, knocking them both back. The bird bots shattered in a mess of nuts and springs on the cave walls. Another iron door blocked Ratchet’s path, connected to a second bolt crank. He attached his wrench and turned the versa bolt, churning the mechanism that opened the door. Before he left this chamber, he noticed a wall to the side looked hollow. Thinking this to be odd, he chucked a bomb at it, and the wall crumbled, behind it, a large bolt forged from gold and stacks of boxes. He picked it up and transferred it to his bank account. Gold bolts were a rare form of currency used to purchase powerful weapons upgrades. Knowing this, Ratchet wasn’t just gonna let it sit there for anybody to find. He smashed the boxes with his wrench, collected a couple hundred regular bolts, then left through the iron door. Another underwater swim through a flooded cavern and he was at the cave exit. A door opened in front of him and sunlight flooded in. Exiting the cave, Ratchet rushed to the ledge of the cliff to check on the battle. Things had died down considerably. The worst of Drek’s forces appeared to be eliminated, and galactic ranger ships were mopping up the last of the Blarg fighters. In a flash and with a boom, Drek’s flagship vanished from sight, fleeing into hyperspace. Looks like the show’s over, Ratchet thought. He walked over to he and Clank’s new ship. It was a bulky, boxy green cargo ship with two triple booster primary engines at the lower back, and two single booster auxiliary engines at the upper. Such propulsion was needed to push a clunker like this through space. The canopy opened and he hopped in, unstrapping Clank from his back and placing him in the seat beside him. The cabin was actually quite comfortable. The interior was entirely cushioned by squishy green foam. Not bad… He brought up the nav computer and Clank plugged in, uploading all the coordinates he had. Their current location, Novalis was first to appear on the galactic map, at the inner sector of the galaxy, west of the galactic center. Next to appear was the city planet Kerwan, above Novalis, and then the desert planet Aridia, below Novalis. “Let’s go meet Skidd McMarxs!” Ratchet shouted excitedly.

“Not so fast” Clank said, plotting the course. “I have a directive that I intend to follow” He locked in coordinates to Kerwan and initiated the launch sequence. The ship shook and rumbled as the rear thrusters began to fire up. “Captain Qwark is in Metropolis, and it is our responsibility to recruit him to our cause.” He turned to Ratchet. “We meet this Skidd McMarx after.”

“Tch. Whatever you say, pal.” Ratchet conceded. He throttled the ship in the air while Clank threw a lever to retract the landing gear. Grinning, Ratchet hit the gas and opened up the engines, speeding towards the city, between the buildings, and up out of the atmosphere. They blasted right past the Phoenix, breaking out of the planet’s gravitational pull, just outside of the roche limit. A whirring sound rose from the back of the ship as the warp drive came online. It was loud and rattled, hinting at the ship’s age. The stars outside began to turn into streaks as the ship accelerated, before blasting them with all the light of the universe as they launched into warp space.

[ratchet-and-clank-eu-project]

Tobruk Crater, planet Novalis

Known for it’s snowcapped mountains, freshwater fjords, and lusciously green and grassy plains, Novalis is considered to be one of the Solana Galaxy’s best kept secrets. The galactic almanac of tourism ranks Novalis as the #1 nicest place to live, citing it’s gorgeous scenery, pleasant weather, friendly natives, and docile wildlife. The planetary chairman Aggnog Buckwash sits as one of the highest ranking members on the galactic council of planetary representatives, sitting alongside the likes of galactic president Christopher Phyronix himself.  

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Character bios 2

Clank (Original)

Age: One day

Programming: Masculine

Home world: Quartu

Original purpose: Navigation, piloting

XJ0461, nicknamed Clank, was created in a blarg owned factory on the rocky planet Quartu. Originally intended as a navi droid for blarg warships, a glitch in the factory's central computer overwrote his initial programming, and the bite sized android gained sentience. After learning of a dastardly plot by the evil Chairmam Drek, his new directive became finding galactic hero Captain Qwark at all costs.

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Character bios 1:

Ratchet (Original)

Species: Lombax

Sex: Male

Age: 15

Home world: Fastoon (born), Veldin (raised)

Ratchet is a teenage mechanic who lives on the Kyzil Plateau on the desert planet Veldin. Being the last known Lombax in existance, Ratchet grew up alone. He eventually learned to work on ships and opened a repair shop at his garage. His clients nicknamed him Ratchet after the massive wrench that he carries around with him everywhere he goes. Ratchet dreams of adventure, and hopes to one day leave his backwater home planet and explore the galaxy.

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The Bomb Glove comes packaged free with the Omniwrench 8000 for every subscription to Gadgetron's premium service. The tubes on the top draw beads from a compartment in the wrist and dispense them into the palm. The single bead is then injected with incendiary chemicals that inflate it to the size of a baseball. Chuck it at a cluster of enemies, and it will explode upon collision. Make sure to practice your pitch before use, lest your intestines end up scattered all the way from Veldin to Pokitaru!

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Gadgetron Corporation exists to supply the Solana Galaxy with all of it's weaponry and gadgetry needs. Today's tool of honor is the trusty Omniwrench 8000. Equal parts a tool and melee weapon, this smacking spanner is compatible with a wide range of versa bolts across 22 planetary systems, and comes free packaged with the Bomb Glove for every subscription to our membership program. The Ombiwrench 8000 is a handy addition to the inventory for any mechanic at home, or on the go.

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Ratchet and Clank - Chapter 1: An Unlikely Duo

Kyzil Plateau, planet Veldin. 11:13 AM (local time.)

Hot sun bathed the Veldin sky in a bright shade of orange and scorched the rocky red mountain range below that wrapped and winded around a plateau. Dilapidated water towers coated in peeling tan paint and dotted with blinking red beacon lights that had been long since abandoned clung to the mountain sides. Light blue tubes that water once flowed through hung from the abandoned structures; relics of a once thriving civilization that was no more, the remains of which had been scattered around the landscape and taken over by hostile wildlife. Spiked horny toads with tough brown skin inhabited the land, and plant life was sparse, there was only the occasional twisted red short palm tree or spiky bush.  

The only intelligent individual for miles in this desolate wasteland was a lone mechanic, the last of a long forgotten race, living in an old repurposed garage. The lone fifteen year old Lombax had been out all morning working on a clunky blue space shuttle built from scratch out of parts and scrap metal that he managed to scrounge together by scouring the plateau every morning, as well as a few crucial components he had bought off of the holo net at the cheapest price he could find. He worked as a self made freelance mechanic, taking jobs as clients stopped by his garage, normally in response to advertisements he put out over the radio, or signs he sent out into orbit to catch the eyes of pilots passing through the sector. He took what business he could get, living out on the outer rim of the galaxy, very few ships passed by, and the ones that did had usually been out in space for a long time and in need of a refuel, tune up, or proton scrub. The bolts that he made as currency for his work almost all went into parts for his ship that he couldn’t find buried in the rubble littered across the local landscape. This ship was haphazardly cobbled together and held in one piece by copper wire, duct tape, and chewing gum. He had accomplished all of this with a single Omniwrench 8000: A massive spanner forged for equal parts fixing machinery, and knocking people over the head with brute force.

The sun reflected brilliantly off of his soft, fluffy coat of yellow fur. Several stripes wrapped his arms and either side of his waist horizontally, as well as down his big, pointy and floppy ears. Today was a particularly hot day on the plateau, and so he chose to forgo both a shirt and shoes, choosing, instead, just a set of suspenders that held up his baggy green cargo pants. His leather pilot’s cap blocked out the glare from the sun so he could see what he was doing while he fiddled under the hood of his hunk-a-junk spacecraft, connecting wires and tightening bolts with his Omniwrench.

Something sparked, and the Lombax flinched, blocking the electrical discharge with rubber gloves that were perhaps a size or two too big for him, but he didn’t mind, so long as they worked. Satisfied with his progress, he took a step back to admire his creation, though it really was a clunker, this was his masterpiece, as well as his ticket to leave this rock that he had been stuck on his entire life, and he loved it.

Only one thing left… he thought.

Installed on his right glove was a touch screen communication device that was connected to the Gadgetron Helpdesk. A free customer service app provided by Gadgetron Corporation: the Solana Galaxy’s premiere manufacturer of weapons, gadgets, sports gear, and other fine products that utilize only the latest in high technology. He had been using a step by step guide downloaded off of the helpdesk to build his ship, and now, after years of hard work, he was on the last one. In excitement, he checked the plans to see what was next.

“Final step: the Robotic Ignition System. Thank you for using helpdesk technology!” The Lombax sighed in defeat. He lived on a desolate, barren planet devoid of any sort of sophisticated technology. Where would he even hope to get his hands on a robot, much less one with an ignition system? He looked up at the twin moons in the sky above, longing to get away from this place. Longing for adventure…

 Meanwhile, in a factory on a nearby planet…

 Freshly assembled war bots were carted into a circular room through plastic drapes on the other end of an assembly line that dropped them down a chute one by one, stopping only periodically to let the next robot be checked by a computer console next to the conveyor belt. The system was completely automated, and there wasn’t a single operator in sight. An alarm sounded, and the system abruptly stopped, An error message displayed on the computer monitor, and a small silver robot popped out from the drapes, bounced off of the conveyer, and landed with a clang on its back. The poor thing looked like a toaster. Or a lunch box. It stumbled to it’s tiny feet and shook it’s round, domed head. The light on the tip of it’s antenna blipped red and his eyes opened, shining a bright green. The newborn robot scanned it’s surroundings, taking in terabytes of data.

Boot sequence… … … successful

Serial Number… … … B54296

Motherboard model… … … XJ0, software version 461

Sisterboard model… … … XP18, software version 7.66

Programming… … … masculine

Environmental scan… … … completed

Current location… … … Minton Android Manufacturing and Distributing, planet Quartu

Directive… … … DATA CORRUPTED

The newborn spotted another small robot that was plated in brown, rusty colored metal that was floating in the air, had two large, circular blue eyes, and a circular blue light in it’s chest. He performed a second scan.

Identification… … … successful

Subject description… … …  Infobot

Developed by Gadgetron Corporation to relay sensitive information and planetary coordinates via video

Specific subject’s distinction… … … Non hostile

The diminutive robot wobbled over to the infobot on his stubby legs that it has yet to get used to, and began to download it’s information.

New secondary directive… … … locate galactic hero Captain Copernicus Leslie Qwark

New primary directive… … … SAVE THE GALAXY

The robot snached up the info bot and put it away in his torso storage compartment, distorting it’s matter to shrink it to a size at which it would fit, then looked up to see one of the war bots, fresh off the assembly line towering over him. When it moved to grab him, he dove between Its legs into the trash chute which he slid down, and dropped out the other end right into the cockpit of a black starfighter that was sitting on the landing pad outside of the factory. He initiated his robotic ignition system to hijack the vehicle and flee the planet. Several Electroids - blue robotic drones that float around on a ball of energy and tote an electric taser piled out of the factory gates, then jump into three more fighters that were docked at the tarmac, then blasted off in pursuit of the rogue robot.

 Approaching planet Veldin

 The robot’s stolen ship raced through hyperspace with the electroids from the factory in close pursuit. He wasn’t sure of where his destination should be, but right now his main concern was escaping these enemy fighters that were on his tail. The ship’s radar system detected two incoming projectiles, so he swerved from side to side to avoid incoming blaster fire from his pursuers. A third shot came from behind and blew out the primary thruster, knocking his ship out of hyperspace, and causing it to spiral down to the nearest planet. The tiny robot tumbled around inside the cockpit, but was able to slam the switch to activate atmospheric shielding to hopefully soften the landing. It was all he had, and he tried his best to grab on to something, anything to brace himself for the impact as the ship plummeted towards the desert landscape below.

Back on Veldin

The Lombax sat on the side of a crate next to his grounded ship pouting in defeat. Without the Robotic Ignition system, his passion project was nothing more than an aerodynamic metal paperweight. His ears perked up and focused in on a faint rumbling sound somewhere off in the distance over the mountains that seemed to be growing louder. It quickly built into a booming roar as several starfighters suddenly pierced through the clouds and screamed overhead. He shielded his eyes from the sunlight and squinted up at the sky to get a better look. One of them was on fire, and the other two seemed to be chasing after it. Are they trying to save him? He thought. One of them rode up next to the burning ship and sideswiped it, sending it spiraling downwards. No… trying to bring him down… The burning ship plummeted down and crashed somewhere on the other side of the plateau and smoke began to billow up into the air. The other ships that were following the one that crashed then landed over near the site. Curious, the Lombax decided to go investigate.

He hopped down a small ledge and casually strolled through his front yard with wild horny toads nipping at his feet. Annoyed, he swatted them away with his wrench. Sun is killer today… He thought while he crossed the bridge out of his yard, over to the nearby hiking trail. A knot of toads conjugated on the other side and croaked excitedly. They swarmed him the second he stepped foot back on the sand. These creatures were more of a nuisance than anything, and the Lombax send them on their way with no trouble at all with three swings of the wrench, knocking several of them a couple feet away with each strike. The toads hopped off in a panic, and the Lombax jumped up onto an elevated rock pillar that hugged the cliffside. There were several of these that he gracefully bounded across over to a path that was carved into the side of the mountain. A toad sat at his landing point, gnawing at a thorn bush. The Lombax chucked the wrench at it, shooing it away, and the wrench spun back to him and returned to his hand like a boomerang. He somersaulted onto the path and picked up a brisk jog, figuring that since he’s walking over here, he might as well get his morning exercise in.

From here, he was able to catch a better view of the crash site. The extraterrestrial vessel was embedded in a crater at the foot of a water tower at the end of the trail. He perched on the side of the cliffside, inches from falling into the canyon below, and leaned in to get a better view. Robots were crawling all over the crash site. Four more ships landed as he watched, dropping off even more of these goons. They were rotund, one eyed droids that rode around on balls of energy… and were armed, he observed. They were spreading out around the crater, securing that area. Their search parties slowly advancing up the path. Soon they’d be covering the entire plateau.

A metal rib cage hung over the section of the trail between Ratchet and the crash site. It used to belong to a giant mining robot, but the rest of the body had decayed away from rust or had been reclaimed by nature, leaving only the ribs that jutted out from the mountain side. The Lombax hid behind one of them as one of the robot invaders broke off from the group to patrol the area. It rolled passed and stopped right at the end of the rib cage and swung it’s rotund body from side to side, appearing to survey the area. The Lombax silently stepped out from his hiding spot, tip toed behind it, and swung low at the gravitational repulsor unit that kept it afloat, shorting out it’s hover orb and, tripping it over, causing it to fall on it’s back with a crash. It shattered to pieces upon impact, and wires, circuits and bolts flew every which way. Ratchet held up his wrench, and before the bolts could get too far away, the magnetism of the trillium the wrench was made out of yanked them back to it. Upon sticking themselves to the tool, the processor he had installed on it converted them to code and transferred them to his Gadgetron bank account for later use.

He ran under the ribcage and hid behind a rock. The path curved inwards, and on the other side, in front of an old building were three of the robotic invaders standing guard outside if the crash site which wasn’t far from here. A fourth one had broken off from the group and was being harassed by a particularly feisty horny toad. The electroid was firing of arcs of electricity that consistently missed their marks and hit random things including the ground, the mountain side, and flew into the air.  It was stumbling a little too close to where the Lombax was hiding. Bad mistake. He swung his wrench out when it got close enough, tripping it and causing it to shatter like the last one. Bolts flew towards his wrench and teleported away, adding to his credit. He popped his head up to assess the surroundings, then ducked right back down when one fired an arc of electricity at him. So that’s the way it’s gonna be, huh? He keyed in a command prompt on his wrist mounted com unit, and a steel glove with cloth fingers and tubes running from the wrist to the back telequipped onto his hand. Time for the trusty Bomb Glove…

The Bomb Glove was a standard incendiary weapon that came free to anybody who subscribed to Gadgetron’s premium membership. A sort of complimentary bonus. It stored 40 tiny beads in a compartment in the wrist. When activated, a bead is sucked through one of the two tubes, dispensed into the palm, and inflated to the size of the baseball, and then injected with a mix of pyricidic chemicals that are triggered to ignite upon sudden disturbance. He chucked one of these capsules at the three electroids, and it burst into a plume of superheated corrosive chemicals and explosive energy, flinging parts such as arms, gears, and optical receptors in every direction. The Lombax caught the nuts, bolts, and springs and crept into the occupied crash site, trying not to be noticed.

He hid behind a stack of boxes and looked around. The crashed ship sat burning in a crater at the foot of the largest water tower on the plateau, and was secured by the five ships that had landed around it. The place was crawling with electroids. He focused his eyes on the wreckage and spotted a small silver robot that looked like a toaster. It’s arms and feet were folded in, and it’s head was tucked snuggly into it’s upper torso. It looked to be offline… probably in emergency shutdown mode… and the Lombax’s best guess told him that the invaders wanted it. There were too many to try and stealth it, so the Lombax jumped out from behind the crates, tossing a bomb from his hand as he thrust himself into the air. He flipped and landed at the same time as the bomb, which was hitting it’s mark, blowing one of the electroids to pieces. Before the one next to him had time to calculate what exactly was going on, he had firmly embedded his wrench into it’s metal plating with a metallic crunching sound. He ripped the wrench out, pulling gears, circuit boards and wires along with it. The electroid toppled over. He had the attention of the remaining three now, which were rolling over to his position. The one on the far right unleashed an arc of electricity that it swept across the ground as it tried to direct the current into the Lombax, who was irritatingly prancing around doing flips and jumps, making himself infuriatingly hard to hit. He hopped up on top of the one on the left, drawing the right one’s fire which cut through the middle one, shocking both. His feet left the head of the first one just in time to avoid getting electrocuted himself, he then bounded off of the top of the center one, and winded his wrench up above his head, then swung it down on the last remaining electroid, slicing it right down the center. Bolts flew towards him from the remains of the robot search party, and the oil that their bodies were now leaking smelled. He walked over to the wreckage and stopped next to the small unconscious robot. After looking to see if anybody was watching, he picked up the robot and took it back to his garage.

The Lombax unscrewed the cap from his ship’s fuel tank and began filling it, preparing to finally blast off of the rock that he had spent 15 years of his life stuck on. Behind him, the robot he found in the wreckage sat in an upright position. His eyes blinked open and glowed green, and it’s head slowly swayed from side to side, visually analyzing his surroundings until the fuzzy organic life form caught his attention. He began to run a comparison check with each species in his Monstropedia database. Curiously, there were no matches. He unfolded his arms and legs from his body and walked up behind the creature and observed the vessel it appeared to be servicing.

“Interesting” he mused. The Lombax yiped and fell backwards, thudding to the ground on his back and whipping dust up in the air. “You are quite handy with your wrench.” The Lombax got to his feet and dusted himself off.

“You bet” he said, “I built that ship with it.” The robot studied the clunker and only offered a small “Hm.” in feedback to the Lombax’s work.

“Currently I am in search for someone who could be of assistance in saving the solar system. Do you know where I might find that fellow?” He pointed to a poster that the Lombax had hanging up in his garage of the green spandex wearing, giant muscle flexing and big chin having galactic superhero Captain Copernicus Leslie Qwark, the Savior of Solana, and number seventy three on planet Kerwan’s list of it’s top one hundred most eligible bachelors.

“Well, he’s on the radio every week. Other than that, no. Hey, what’s with all this save the solar system stuff anyway?” The robot felt that since it was relevant to the topic at hand, he should inform the civilian he had encountered of the danger that threatened the galaxy. He withdrew the infobot he had stolen from the factory on Quartu and played back the video it had stored. It’s mouth opened and expanded into a screen. A short alien with slimy, wrinkled brown skin, blue eyes with no pupils, a tall head, black hair that was done up in a ponytail, and wearing a business suit was shown standing in front of a window with a lovely view of outer space outside it.

“Hello citizens of -” an image of a watery blue planet with lush green continents and covered by swirling white clouds flashed on screen. The planet’s name: Novalis, was displayed below the photo. The video cut back to the alien in the suit. “My race: the Blarg have a small problem. Our planet has become so polluted, overpopulated, and poisonous, that we are no longer able to dwell there. But I, Chairman Drek, have a solution. We have been constructing a presteem new world using the choicest of planetary components available. So, what does this mean to you, you might ask? Well, using highly sophisticated technology which you couldn’t possibly understand, we will be extracting a large portion from your planet, and adding it to our new one. Of course, this change of mass will cause your planet to spin out of control, and drift into the sun where it will explode into a flaming ball of gas, but, of course, sacrifices must be made. Thank you for your cooperation.” Somebody off screen shouted “CUT!” And Chairman Drek immediately broke character, unloading his insults on the screen.  “And if you don’t like it you can take your whiny, snivelling, snot nosed populations, form a line behind me and KISS MY…” Somebody whispered something off camera. “Is it still on? WELL, TURN IT OFF YOU IDIOT!”

The recording blinked out and the screen went black. The robot compressed the info bot back down and returned it to his storage compartment.

“The people on those planets are hosed!” the Lombax exclaimed. “Well, good luck getting Captain Qwark to help ya.”

“Actually, you could help me. If you could take me to the coordinates contained in this info bot, I might be able to gather other information there” Now was his chance. He could utilize this robot’s ignition system to fire up his ship and leave Veldin for good. Better play it cool…

“Even if I wanted to, I can’t! I’m missing a crucial component of the ship.” The robot performed a diagnostics scan.

“The robotic ignition system?” he asked.

“How did you know that?

“I, sir, happen to be equipped with the latest in robotic ignition systems. My programming allows me to start whatever ship I choose.” Now we’re talkin’! Thought the Lombax.

“So, I agree to take you to this… wherever it is, and you get my ship started for me?”

“That is what I am proposing.” Thrusters roared overhead and the two of them looked up to see three more fighters identical to the ones that chased the robot to the planet touching down nearby. If they had to leave, they needed to do it now.

“Deal.” The bargain had been struck. The Lombax and the robot hopped in the ship and flew off, being watched by the electroids that had just landed below them. They radioed Chairman Drek, informing him that a ship carrying the rogue robot had just left the planet.

 Aboard Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman Alonzo Drek’s flagship, Veldin Orbit

 When he had heard about a robot defect escaping his factory on Quartu with a classified info bot, and stealing a ship to flee the planet, the first thing he did was order a report of the stolen vessel’s ID. When his obedient subordinates brought him the data, he was able to track the starfighters location to a remote desert world on the fringe of the galaxy. He was already having an irritating day, and his mood soured even more when his starfleet dropped out of hyperspace in orbit of the planet, only for him to spot the faint gleam of contrails behind a tiny blue shuttle that was leaving the planet. It performed a star jump, but Drek’s on board crew were able to trace the ship’s trajectory before it vanished. The planet that showed up on his monitor: Novalis. The very same planet he was remotely directing an invasion on at this very moment.

“This could be a problem” he grumbled. “Take care of it!” Somebody tall and muscular, but shrouded in shadow bowed in compliance and walked off of the bridge, leaving Drek to study the planet below.

 —————————————-

 “Woah, this is great!” The Lombax was pressing his face up against the glass of the cockpits canopy, and gaping in awe at the stars that were whizzing by outside. He watched his home planet Veldin shrink into the distance. It’s dusty brown appearance becoming nothing more than a speck before it vanished completely. “So THAT’S where I’ve been stuck this whole time!”

“Please excuse me, but return your attention to the steering mechanism, sir”

“Oh! That’s right!” he quickly re-grasped the wheel and steered exaggeratedly, rocking the ship from side to side as if to make up for not actually giving it any inputs up until now. “Sorry” he said with an embarrassed laugh. “Oh, and by the way, you can stop calling me sir. The name’s Ratchet.”

Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir.”

“You got a name?

“My serial number is B54-296” A piece of space debris hit the ship, causing it to rock violently. The robot jerked backwards and hit it’s head on the dashboard with a CLANK! The disoriented robot shook his head. Ratchet decided that would be a fitting nickname.

“I’ll just call you Clank for short! Hang on!” He said. Planet Novalis was now in sight. Chairman Drek’s mothership was already in orbit along with the rest of his battle fleet. Ships were dispatching from the larger cruisers and flocking down to the blue marble below by the dozens. They were already too late. Ratchet tuned the ship’s radio in to the local channels to try and get an update on the invasion. “That’s weird… I’m picking up something strange from Novalis…” Clank plugged his finger into a port on a dashboard and extended his antenna, then spun his head, attempting to pick up more that the radio could on it’s own.

“It appears to be some sort of distress signal. But it is being jammed using a blargian signal dampener” The ship’s radar started to beep frantically. “We have picked up a tail” Clank warned. “I suggest immediate evasive action.” Ratchet gripped the steering mechanism tightly and put on his game face. He wanted to appear calm and collected, but he truly didn’t have the slightest idea of what he was doing. The ship jolted foreword and the smell of smoke filled the cockpit as they began accelerating towards the surface at a rate that seemed a tad bit unsafe. They had been hit.

“Don’t worry.” said Ratchet. “The computer would have told us if we were in any REAL danger.”

“Fatal crash imminent. Would you like to record your last will and testament?”

“Admittedly, that doesn’t sound promising” As the ship entered the Novalis thermosphere, it was now a flaming ball of fire. It plummeted rapidly to the green and blue planet below.

Back on Chairman Drek’s flagship, Novalis orbit

 The Novalian’s were a peaceful people unused to interplanetary conflict and ill equipped to defend against a full scale invasion. Their primary representative: minister Agnogg Buckwash had beamed onto Drek’s flagships in hopes of negotiating. So far, it wasn’t going well.

“…So you see, gentleman, it would be most beneficial if your citizens were not in the city when my work begins removing it” Drek was saying. The minister, though his skin was a rough, scaly blue, was becoming purple in the face due to the stress and irritation at the situation.

“Preposterous, I will not stand for this!” He plunked the bottom of his cane down on the floor in defiance.

“Unfortunately, you have no choice in the matter”

“Let’s just see what Captain Qwark has to say about that, my good man.” Drek burst into laughter.

“I-I don’t see what’s so funny, Captain Qwark could dispatch you without breaking a sweat, you, you puny…” Drek’s laughter trailed off cold, and he gave Buckwash the hand. There was a line, and he had just crossed it.

“You have now officially worn out your welcome… and my PATIENCE!” His chief robotic henchman: Victor Von Ion marched onto the bridge through the sliding door and yanked buckwash up by the collar of his exotic looking robe and began lugging him out of there with one hand. Ion was a massive death bot three times Buckwash’s size, and the floor rumbled with each foot fall.

“This is your last chance!” he wailed, “Stop this madness now!”

“Okay, wait. You’re right! I will withdraw my troops.”

“Really?”

“No! He’s all yours, gentleman. Try not to leave any marks.”

Chapter 1 galactic trivia:

1 - Ratchet is the last remaining (known) specimen of the Lombax species in the Solana Galaxy

2 - The Lombax race is native to the planet Fastoon in the Polaris Galaxy

3 - The neglected Lombax technology strewn about the Kyzil Plateau on planet Veldin hints at a past occupancy

4 - The Lombax species mysteriously vanished fifteen years ago, and nobody knows why

5 - Planet Veldin occupies the galaxy’s most perfect orbit, yet still manages to remain a desert wasteland

[ratchet-and-clank-eu-project]

Kyzil Plateau, Planet Veldin.

A desert wasteland, Veldin was once colonized by a small Lombax research team in an effort to expand out beyond their home in the Polaris galaxy. They abandoned the project when reliable contact with their home planet Fastoon could not be established. The research colony packed up everything and went back home, leaving the settlement they had built on the Kyzil Plateau to rot. Veldin happens to occupy the most perfect orbit in the Solana Galaxy, so one would suspect it to host a more temperate climate, but due to a harsh greenhouse effect in the atmosphere, the surface is heated far beyond what would be Earth-like otherwise. Native wildlife here is sparse and hostile, and usually small. Horny Toads are common, as are small shrubby flora that is almost always spiked. War Grocks prowl the floors of the canyons, but are rarely seen in large numbers. Scavengers sometimes come to Veldin in search of Lombax technology to either use for themselves, or sell at a high price. The only other reason one would have for coming to the backwater planet would be to seek the services of a freelance mechanic that lives there. A lone Lombax who’s clients nicknamed Ratchet after the Omniwrench 8000 that he wielded and used to fix just about anything. 

[ratchet-and-clank-eu-project]

A map of the planets in the Solana Galaxy visited in the first Ratchet and Clank game, constructed based off the example of the in-game galactic map.