realgansey - Tumblr blog

[realgansey]

the sunshine court aoughhh we're so back

[realgansey]

Fox

[realgansey]

why do I seem to need to? || tsc chapter 6

[realgansey]

tsc sketches, I missed these books ahhh

[realgansey]

Neil Josten moodboard

[realgansey]

(raven neil au) im having so many thoughts about them all the time

[realgansey]

studies turned neils bc if I don’t draw him I turn to stone

[realgansey]

there's something to be said about the way jeremy refused to believe the worst of jean because he trusted that kevin would not have sent him to usc if he was as bad as the rest of the ravens. and at the same time jean trusting jeremy as his partner because again kevin would not have sent him there if jeremy was not a good person that could look after jean. something poetic about the unwavering trust that they both have in kevin !! kevin day !! the man that you are !!

[realgansey]

Halfway through the sunshine court and I'm not okay. Anyhow more Neil Jostens for the lil thing I'm working on! Fun fact my deadline is today dhdhd

[realgansey]

I think the most endearing thing about Jean is that he just cares. So fucking much. Not to say that Neil doesn't but Neil had to learn to care and I think it's widely accepted that he cares about a select few people and cares about them fiercely; to the point of kill or be killed.

Jean though? He cares for almost everyone regardless of what they have done to him. He cared for Zane, the man who betrayed him in the most horrifying way for a number, for something Jean had no control over. He cared enough to save his life. He cared for Lucas who brought Jean's abuser right to his gate where he had believed himself to be safe. Not once did he lash out at him because he understood that his actions came from a desperation to know his brother again, the ache of having him near again but not having him at all. He cared for Cody, someone he doesn't even really know; cared enough to ensure they were safe and not being forced into something.

After being beaten down every day, holding on to life out of sheer desperation and perhaps a promise made to a once? friend, Jean still hasn't had his ability to care beaten out of him and it's such a beautiful miracle. He's a little like Andrew in this I think, in that he pretends so desperately to not care under the guise of barbed words and cold shoulders because that's a weakness, a chink in his already dented armour that the monsters can and will exploit with glee. He knows that yet he can't choke that tenderness out of himself.

[realgansey]

Neil

[realgansey]

Beneath the clothes were his few personal possessions: namely, postcards and magnets Kevin had bought him while on the road with Riko for press events.

Jean’s favorite, a small wooden bear with a red beret […]

[realgansey]

Also Jeremy gently hitting his thigh to ground himself (a non-violent version of what Jean was doing) and then Jean doing something similar after spending time with him and letting him into his life

“Realgansey you’d better not be thinking about Jean at the beginning of tsc hitting his thigh as hard as he could as a grounding method vs Jean at the end of tsc tapping his leg gently as he lists things he finds delight in as a grounding method again.”

Literally me:

[realgansey]

“Realgansey you’d better not be thinking about Jean at the beginning of tsc hitting his thigh as hard as he could as a grounding method vs Jean at the end of tsc tapping his leg gently as he lists things he finds delight in as a grounding method again.”

Literally me:

[realgansey]

A major thing I love about Jean is all the little things he does. When he puts away the leftovers from the first dinner. When he actually marks the dates on the food and remembers to put the marker back. The way he listens and notes what’s important and try to do his part. The way even when he doesn’t want to, he cares and tries to look out for them, like when Cody seemed to be pressured into contact. I love him so much.

[realgansey]

Tehee he's so cute!

[realgansey]

Resident sun of the sunshine court!