recoveryisrough

[recoveryisrough]

The same childhood filled with warmth was also a childhood filled with smoke.

[recoveryisrough]

[recoveryisrough]

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

[recoveryisrough]

“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”

damn you must suck at cooking. check out some youtube tutorials man. i believe in you.

[recoveryisrough]

[recoveryisrough]

I need a list of ways I can be safely destructive. Like I’m trying to find alternatives to self destructive behaviors, and all I’m getting right now is shit like “meditate”.’ No I want nonpermanent drastic changes I can make.

Like instead of cutting, making the drastic change of cutting my hair. Or instead of drinking, spinning until myself dizzy

[recoveryisrough]

The 3:00 AM thought of “It’s only going to get worse from here” somehow transitioned beautifully into the 3:15 AM thought of “I’m petting two cats at in e, this is amazing!”

[recoveryisrough]

every time i start missing how my body looked when i had an ed i remember i was scared to eat TOAST 💀💀 like i deadass had NIGHTMARES about eating toast w butter and jam. are u hearing this i was LOSING MY SHIT over TOAST bro 😭😭😭 im not going back to that are you kidding

[recoveryisrough]

It's fucked up that you can have the most loving, supportive parents in the world and still develop brainthings that tell you You Are Going To Disappoint Them And Die

[recoveryisrough]

rips my heart out for you like a normal person

[recoveryisrough]

[recoveryisrough]

I just fainted for like the second time ever. The first time I didn’t know it was fainting, but this time I knew what it was. My ears started ringing and I started feeling dizzy and nauseous and my vision filled up with spots. I remember having the thought “if I keep standing I’m going to fall over” and so I grabbed the wall behind me and started quickly laying down. I remember starting to lay down but I don’t remember getting to the floor. Next thing I remember I was opening my eyes and tried to immediately stand back up because I was embarrassed. This lead to severe nausea

[recoveryisrough]

I’m so frustrated because despite having had a really wonderful day today, all I can think about as I get home is the pack of razors sitting in my bathroom.

I bought myself derma-planing razors for their intended purpose. I have been sh free for almost 3 years and I barely registered the concern when I bought them. But now I’m getting home past 3 AM and no do t feel safe going into my own apartment.

I think the safest choice would be to call a crisis line while I put the razors somewhere out of sight, but I feel guilty wasting their resources on someone who should be able to handle things themself by this point.

[recoveryisrough]

My mind is a machine that turns self hatred into self improvement

[recoveryisrough]

“One’s own power”

[recoveryisrough]

I just want to scrub my skin until every wrong thing I’ve done to it is clean and gone.

But there’s a part of me that believes this would be a wrong in and of itself, as my body has been shaped and molded by everything I’ve ever done

[recoveryisrough]