residencyinfear-blog

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//If anyone is interested, I have a Joker account still up and running for now.

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° ✧ GOTHAM PROMPTS.

triggers apply. mentions of death, murder and crime and offensive terms.

❛  You can’t have organized crime without law and order. ❛ You make a life of crime sound very noble. ❛ I love this city, and I see it going to hell.  ❛ You want me to keep quiet about all this? ❛ You want to say that a little louder? Not everybody heard. ❛ You’re just a little sinner like the rest of us. ❛ You can’t go around killing priests. At least not in public. ❛ The city’s sick. Sick in a way I hadn’t realized. ❛ I should put a bullet in your head right now. ❛ They will always hide the truth from you, but not me!  ❛ Gotham’s golden rule, no heroes. ❛ When you know what a man loves, you know what can kill him. ❛ So what is your play? I mean, you got one, right? ❛ We’re gonna be dead in the streets in time for the evening edition. ❛ We have unfinished business. ❛ Hit me, and I’ll let you kiss me. ❛ You know I’d bring you back here in a second…if I could. ❛ That’s my name. I’m not sure about “famous.” ❛ A simple phone call would resolve things, I’m sure. ❛ Only a man from a lunatic asylum would say that.  ❛ You’re like a human roller coaster, except you only go down. ❛ It’s a cupcake with a live bullet sticking out of it. ❛ I don’t got a thing for nobody. My thing is for me. ❛ The more you cut me, the bigger I grow. What am I? ❛ You notice I don’t ask you about your love life. ❛ I figured better here than sleeping on the street. ❛ Get your things. I’m taking you someplace safe. ❛ Is this… are you asking me a riddle? ❛ The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you’ll die. ❛ We’re all standing on the abyss, paralyzed by fear. ❛ Three dates, and I still haven’t been to your apartment. ❛ Perhaps it’s not our friends but… our enemies that define us. ❛ I’m just like the phoenix. I’ll just rise again and again and again. ❛ What can I say? You had me at homicide. ❛ Why would you do that? Why’d you even say that? ❛ I do like that you think of me as a loved one. ❛ Still looking for clues, sir? Or just breaking stuff? ❛ I’m trying to protect you. I’m trying to keep you safe. ❛ What have you done? Chop up your mommy? ❛ There’s nothing more contagious than laughter! ❛ That was strangely pleasant. Do it again. ❛ Hey, you’re psychic. So, tell me, do I kill?   ❛ Your legacy will be death and madness. ❛ Every evil bastard in the world was “just a kid” once. ❛ Crime unpunished is a crime in itself. ❛ Anyone who doesn’t wanna get shot, raise your hands! ❛ What good’s family if you’re a slave? ❛ Who cares if you’re free? What good’s freedom if you’re alone? ❛ You don’t have the stomach to kill me yourself?  ❛ I don’t like this any more than you, but it is the only way. ❛ What sickness? I’m not sick. ❛ Oh, please, that is such a ridiculous cliché… ❛ I’m not a criminal, you know. I’m just…insane. ❛ Come on, pull the damn trigger! ❛ I’m going out there, with or without you. ❛ That’s exactly what an insane person would say! ❛ I could tell you, but then I would have to lobotomize you. ❛ Why didn’t you kill me? I would’ve killed you in an instant.  ❛ I think maybe you’re not cut out for this after all. ❛ There’s something between us. You have to see that. ❛ Well, how would you ever know if you don’t give it a try? ❛ You don’t have any whiskey, do you? ❛ We’ll contact you when the time is right. Enjoy your evening. ❛ Focus on the good you can do, that’s what counts. ❛ The badge holds expectations. People want a hero, and I’m not. ❛ The only question is, where do you stand? ❛ Oh my God, you guys are a couple? ❛ If I’m right, we can have way more than vengeance.  ❛ This is just a classic case of wrong place, wrong time.  ❛ Damn you for telling me this now! ❛ You seep into people’s lives until you destroy them. ❛ I know I’ve been dead, but doesn’t that sound a little crazy to you? ❛ And when morning comes, you too shall be reborn. ❛ Leave it to death to give you a whole new perspective on life.  ❛ Don’t ever touch me again or tell me what to do. ❛ You won’t see me coming, and you won’t feel a thing. ❛ I got plenty of darkness inside me, I just don’t dwell on it. ❛ I destroy everything and everyone around me. ❛ You want revenge, kill yourself.

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Send me ‘💍’ for our muses to wake up married after a night of heavy drinking

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Ask me questions about aspects of my Muse you haven’t seen me cover yet!

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                             Because you’re too serious                       You’re gonna make me delirious

credit @chaoticjoke

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better ways to meet

tired of bumping into each other in the coffee shop? try these:

muse a tries to stand up for muse b in a bar but unfortunately cannot fight for shit. 

muse a is having plumbing troubles in their new house and muse b says they can fix it: except they can’t, they just wanted to spend more time with the cute neighbor. (bonus if muse a has to spend the night at muse b’s place because of it)

muse a works somewhere that’s open late and muse b comes in to take shelter from the storm. 

muse a is assigned to be muse b’s partner in an undercover assignment. 

muse a needs money and signs up to be in muse b’s clinical trials. (bonus if some kind of accident gives muse a superpowers and unwittingly makes muse b their accomplice in their goals)

muse b is a siren and muse a is one of the few people immune to their song, so after drowning the rest of the crew the two are stuck together. 

muse b accidentally creates muse a, the world’s very first AI. (Can work with or without a body for muse a, or muse b can struggle to build a body for muse a)

muse a and muse b as Olympic athletes forced to do PR together, photo shoots, interviews, cheese montages. 

muse b is an anent for a time travel protection agency and has been assigned to protect muse a after they have been targeted by another time traveler. 

muse b is in love with muse a, but muse doesn’t love them back. At some point the two have a one night stand and makes matters more complex (via rachel). 

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REBLOG IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH HIGHLY TRIGGERING "I'M GOING TO HELL IN A SICK, TWISTED HANDBASKET FOR WRITING THIS" PLOTS

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honesty hour 👀 anon or not I have to answer

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"Well if you continue to insist on acting like one what do you expect. Now, stop dancing around the issue and either tell me why you are here or get out of my office." Joanne arched a brow in questioning as she waited for an answer.

residencyinfear:

“Harley, it’s quite clearly a gun now kindly stop insulting my intelligence and tell me why you are here?”

“Then don’t ask dumb questions, jeez. ‘Harley is that a gun?’ ‘Where’d ya get a gun! Y’d think I was a toddler or somethin’ the way everyone’s been treatin’ me!” She had not answered the question. 

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Don’t plant roses in my head, If you aren’t going to stay to water them, and stop them from withering away.

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☠️What are your horrors?☠️

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"Harley, it's quite clearly a gun now kindly stop insulting my intelligence and tell me why you are here?"

“Huh? This…?” 

“Naaaah, this ain’t a gun. ‘Ss a rooty-tooty point-'n’-shooty!!”

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//I have Joker, Jo and Hannibal Lecter in my head.

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Headcanon

Joanne Crane, queen of being sassy and displaying no consideration of other’s feelings.