resident-crimson-pal - Tumblr blog

[resident-crimson-pal]

better to honor the living, then desecrate your falsified memory. a forever unknown last attempt at grace

[resident-crimson-pal]

you are neglected rotted molded

a house with roots growing up it's sides. into it

become absorbed with dead life

suffocate in the warmth and wetness

of a love that is unloving

and break under foot of those afraid of you

[resident-crimson-pal]

s;nl3ss

oh darling, do you wish me sinless? so you can ruin me. take pleasure in a ruined birth.

do you wish me pure? indulge not my impure mind; cling to a beauty of pure dedication. to one. to love. to expectation.

taste new; until all that's left is to cling to rotting bones. try to return our life; but the flesh is gone.

lingering, still. you press for warm skin when you saw the blades slip in.

[resident-crimson-pal]

wake me from my slumber, darling wake me deep within. taste forbidden fruits, my longing let our sin commence.

[resident-crimson-pal]

|_;ps

that, slight, t;ck- UP !

in your LIPS ! as i wrap my hands around your throat ! {oh how it arouses me}

[resident-crimson-pal]

3m;3t;b || b;t3 m3

bite;bite;bite me;me;me keep me (keep me) close (closer) neck (to neck)

kiss me

with your t3#th

[resident-crimson-pal]

dar-ling~

darling oh, most wonderous, presti;g;ously, beloved darl;ng.

don;’t c#&ry @Wh&#eN, :; I /eav##333e

; loved you ; loved you so tenderly

; grew you from the earth and ; k;ssed your effervescent petals

; loved you tenderly when your thorns pr;cked me, repeatedly  and then stopped, once ; showed you my l;m;ts

oh darling most frag;le and damaged and un-bordered darling

why do you forsake my love

with things and emotions

; cannot comprehend?

[resident-crimson-pal]

nepenthe, oh nepenthe

let me make you my beloved, nepenthe my lovely and most necessary po;son

my chosen drug my op;um tr;pp;ng,    tr;pp;ng,       tr;pp;ng       k;ss;ng,     k;ss;ng,  k;ss;ng, dose after dose after dose more and more nepenthe,         oh nepenthe, what gr;ef?

; know only  your pleasure.

[resident-crimson-pal]

give me a chance, and i’ll make your body my religion

worship your lips, your eyes

that wonderous flush on your cheeks that i cause

all your perfect little stutters

perfect little noises

the softness of your flesh

in the presence 

god devoleb ruoy fo

[resident-crimson-pal]

4/20-fucking blaze it (and the it, is me)

i wanna fucking kill myself i wanna fucking kill myself i wanna fucking kill myself i wanna fucking kill myself i wanna fucking kill myself i wanna fucking kill myself

it’s funny how young the first thought was

how unshockingly natural it was

how innocent i was to death then

as i had my left hand there, on the handle

how i thought  it all through in a moment

how it wasn’t the first time

and was not the last

in that form, or the multiple others

its funny how easy it was

to do it, for only mine to see superficial reasons

that delved deep into my mind

my worn out, stressed soul

how odd

that a child could think that

and not remember

how odd

how easy

to forget

and dismiss

this pain.

[resident-crimson-pal]

i wanna wATch something messed up

to make sure i’m human

to cement that i am good

to make it clear

none of this is true

i am wrong

i am wrong

i am wrong

and i am dying./

[resident-crimson-pal]

lovely

cold

metal

run

along

skin

delicate

and graceful

tip

slide in

to my brain

and free me

of my sin

darling

i love all

my sins

[resident-crimson-pal]

turning you

inside out

rearranging you

just right

stronger

quicker

smarter

but

weak

i’ll have to make you weak

first

[resident-crimson-pal]

yeah, ;

lusted for you felt a need for parts of you wanted you but with you ; bit off too much

and it is too late to let go

[resident-crimson-pal]

you “love” me

no

n o   you   d on ‘t

you love the idea of me loving you because you‘ve never had that

you love the idea of me

caring more than average about you to become more than neutral for you

to become god for you to save you to heal you provide for you

 but i’m sick  of being god  im sick  of being stong    fake      covered in false pretenses     false assumptions of my san;ty

[resident-crimson-pal]

crav e y ou  here sopping on me whimpering growling groaning breathing like a animal but only then do ii crave you

when i need you but iit wouldn’t need to be you

you fool you precious fool so willing to sacrifice your desires just to ha ve a false one

[resident-crimson-pal]

fuck my brains out with a gun hit my amygdala until i freeze until there’s no emotion until i short circuit until there is no use of my brain until i fade fuck my brain with a gun

make me feel the best i ever have in that nothingness