ret1cent

[ret1cent]

i’m working on y’all’s requests just so you know! but i’m also forcing myself to finish and post the next chapter of the space between series before i post anything else so i don’t keep procrastinating so that’ll be my next post 🙂‍↕️

[ret1cent]

Hey, I love your work and I have a request and it’s totally cool if you aren’t comfortable with it.

If possible could you please write a one shot where reader wants Josh or Tyler (your pick) to be rougher or more in charge in the bedroom and they find out by accidentally reading a tumblr fic with that stuff in it. They then get caught reading it but surprise reader later on by doing something related to that. Could you also throw in some degradation… Only if you’re comfortable with it of course.

I hope you have a great day or night depending on when you see this - 🥭

tough love

tyler joseph x fem reader

WC: 3,000+

a/n: hey anon!! thank you so much, i really appreciate that. :) and of course! your wish is my command, i chose to do tyler because i’ve never written for him on here before and i’ve been wanting to. i hope this matched your vision and the levels of roughness you wanted i got a little carried away if you couldn’t tell lmao, thank you for giving me my first request! hope you’re cool with the pov switching, i don’t usually do it but i thought it’d be a nice touch for this plot

warnings: smut, rough sex, strong language, porn without a plot, boundaries aren’t super discussed as tyler finds out about the readers desires a pretty indirect way, oral (m receiving), slight throat fucking, penetration, degradation, he’s a lil mean but in a sexy way, spanking, praise kink, lightly proofread

I cuddle up under the plush of the comforter, a content sigh leaving my lips as I make myself comfortable. The room was dimly lit by the night stand lamp, the air cool, contrasting nicely with the warmth of the blankets. I was alone, waiting for Tyler to come up from the studio. He was working late tonight, when he had an idea come to mind, he always worked until he could execute a flawless basis for it. That was something I had always admired about him. He’s truly passionate about what he does.

But tonight I was lonely, and quite embarrassingly, even a little jealous of the passion he was giving to his music rather than me. I was needy to say the least. I wanted to be in his arms, feel his lips against mine, feel his fingers run down my body… I groan, feeling almost defeated as I open my phone, pressing on the all too familiar icon of Tumblr. Was it so wrong that I occasionally read erotic fanfiction about my husband written by his own fans? Maybe… But it almost felt personalized just for me! It’s like porn, but specifically based around my partner, I didn’t have to feel bad for getting off to it. What can I say, I was a bit of a Tumblr warrior before I met Tyler, some things never change.

I searched up his name, and begrudgingly, added x reader behind it, little did the writers know the reader was his own wife. I scroll through stories, finally coming across one that peaked my interest. It had warning tags for being rough, but surprisingly, it only made me curious enough to want to read more. I read through the start, anticipation flowing through my veins as the tension built up more and more, finally getting to the beginning of the actual smut.

Tyler threads his fingers in your hair, yanking it up to force you to look at him. “I asked you a question you fucking slut.” He says, his face hovering over yours as he punctuated his words with harsh thrusts, making you cry out in pleasure. “I asked how you feel. Use your words.” He demands and you whine pitifully.

“F-fuck I feel so good you’re making me feel so good…”

I feel myself growing wet as I read further and further down, and sigh shakily as I reach my under under the soft cotton of my pajamas shorts, softly circling my clit with my opposite hand as I continue to read. I whine softly, the combination of the story and the feeling overwhelming.

“Did I interrupt something?”

I look up, startled by Tyler's voice, quickly removing my hand and putting my phone face down. He leans off the doorway with an amused smirk and walks towards the bed, the sleeves of his black long sleeve rolled up and his dark hair slightly askew. “You didn’t have to stop!” He chuckles, the bed dipping as he gets in next to me. “I was enjoying the show. What were you looking at that got you so worked up?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Um… I-I’m gonna grab water.” I stutter out, quickly getting out from under the covers and getting up, the wood floorboards slightly chilling my bare feet.

“I can’t get it for yo-“

“No it’s fine!” I answer nervously, continuing down the hall without even looking back. Great, that was smooth. He probably thinks I was doing some crazy shit now. Well, I kind of was. But not that crazy…

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

Tyler’s Pov

I watch (Y/n) speed walk down the hallway, running my fingers through my hair, my eyebrows threaded together in confusion. Did I do something wrong? I’ve never seen her act like that. I look down at her phone she left behind, face down on the bed. No, I can’t…

The phone sat still, illuminating a soft enticing glow, almost as if to pull me in. Fuck, I have to look. She put it down so fast when I walked in, it had to be connected. I trust her, of course. But what if it’s something bad? There were a million possibilities racing through my mind and I needed to know the actual answer. I sigh, shaking my head as I cave, flipping the phone over to find what looked like some kind of ebook. What was she reading? I scan through the text, and to my suprise, spot my name. Was it just a coincidence? I scroll further down to see descriptions that matched my appearance, tattoos and all. Was she reading fanfiction?… I truly don’t know how I’m supposed to react in a situation like this. She’s admitted to me she used to read fanfiction a while ago, to which I teased her for, but I didn’t know she still did. Nor would I ever guess it would be about me… I pay closer attention, taking in the contents.

Tyler threads his fingers in your hair, yanking it up to force you to look at him. “I asked you a question you fucking slut.” He says, his face hovering over yours as he punctuated his words with harsh thrusts, making you cry out in pleasure. “I asked how you feel. Use your words.” He demands and you whine pitifully.

“Woah…” I whisper to myself, slightly taken aback by the roughness of it. This wasn’t how I acted in bed with her at all. Sure, it wasn’t always slow and sensual, I often fucked her fast and hard, but I was never rough like this. I always remained caring and gentle, I was always worried about being too rough with her, hurting her. But clearly she wouldn’t mind it at all. I read through a little more of the story, feeling myself starting to get worked up, imagining this scenario with her. Fuck, I never knew she had a side like this, it was unbelievably hot. But how do I show her that I like that side of her?

I hear her footsteps approaching down the hall and quickly put her phone black, turning it off. I lay back, my head rested against my arm. “Hey, if you’re still riled up and need help…” I suggest lowly once she was laying back next to me, and run a finger across her arm as I wait for her to catch on.

“No, it’s ok love…” She starts, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m a little tired, but thank you.” She says, almost sounding guilty. She softly presses her lips against mine and I kiss back gently, holding the side of her face.

“That’s ok. Sleep well, I love you.” I say with a gentle smile as I kiss her forehead. I wish she knew she didn’t have to feel guilty for any of this. Maybe I'd have to find a way to show her.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

Your Pov

I groan, putting the heavy bags of groceries down on the counter. It was getting late, hints of pinks in the sky out the window as the sun began to set. Tyler was home, working down in the studio again. I felt bad, I’ve been slightly avoiding him since last night. It was embarrassing to think that he almost caught me reading that story, he’d probably be disgusted with me for reading something like that, especially one that mischaracterized him so much. Even though it wasn’t an accurate take on him, it turned me on more than anything has in a long time.

Of course, I was more than satisfied with our sex life. Tyler was amazing, he knew how to work me in ways no one else could. But he was always caring, which is sweet, but I had started to realize that the opposite would be a huge turn on for me.

The rest of the night was calm. I hung out alone, eating popcorn while watching a stupid drama series on Netflix. I take a sip of my floral tea, the warmth comforting as I snuggle under the sheets. The door creaks open and Tyler walks in, wearing a white tee and black relaxed jeans. God how’d he make such a simple outfit look so good?

“Hey, how did everything go?” I ask with a smile.

“Great, I think I’m really starting to get somewhere with this new song. I missed you though.” He muses, his voice low and raspy, presumably from recording vocals. He leans over the bed, holding himself over me with one arm as he leaned down to kiss me. I hum in contentment, kissing him back. He slowly runs his pointed tongue across my bottom lip, the feeling slightly ticklish, and I part them for him, him entangling his tongue with mine. The kiss slowly gets more heated, our teeth clashing against each other, a small string of drool falling from my lips. I softly moan against him he groans in response. “I need you so bad.” I whisper.

“Then you can have me.” he says casually, pulling back and leaving a space in front of him. “Get on your knees.” He demands, pointing to the ground beneath him, like an owner demanding his dog to behave.

“W-what?” I stutter, taken aback by his sternness. He was never so demanding like this.

“You heard me. I said, get on your knees.” He says, his tone still low, but slowly becoming more harsh. I almost whine as I get off the bed and kneel below him, the floorboards hard beneath me. He looks down, his eyes hooded as he reaches his hand down and runs his calloused thumb over my flushed cheek, slowly moving it down to my lips. I open them and I look up at him as he slides it in, and I wrap my lips around it, sucking. His eyes darken, his gaze almost piercing. He’s never given me an expression like that, looking up and holding his gaze was making my head spin, my panties starting to dampen underneath me.

“You see this?” He starts, and grabs a handful of my hair with his other hand, moving my mouth up and down on his thumb, keeping it deep and moving my head fast. I breathe heavily, whining in surprise. He pulls his hand away and paints my saliva across my cheek while holding eye contact, and I nod in response, catching my breath. “That’s how you’re gonna do it. You’re gonna make me feel good like a good girl.”

“Fuck…” I whine, unable to hold back at the nickname, watching him intently as he undoes his jeans.

“Someone has to fix that dirty mouth of yours.” He scolds, pulling down his boxers to reveal his length, standing hard and leaking against his stomach, my mouth nearly watering at the sight. He guides my head towards it and comply, letting him move me all the way down, my nose pressed against his naval. I hold back a gag as his tip touches the back of my throat, him groaning in response. “Mhmm yeah wrap those pretty lips around me…” He breathes out, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment as I close them around him, starting to move up and down on him. I didn’t know where this side of him was coming from, but I was fucking loving it. Drool spills out of my lips as I keep him deep, him moaning roughly as I suck hard around him. He grabs a fist full of my hair, moving my head up on down on him quicker, I slightly choke in suprise as he starts fucking my throat, using me to reach his high. “You love being my little fuck doll don’t you?” He muses lowly, lost in pleasure.

“Mhmm…” I moan around him, him groaning at the vibration. I sit obediently, my back arched and my lips parted, letting him thrust as hard as he wanted, tears welling up in my eyes as I held back gags. “Fuck I’m gonna cum.” He pants heavily, wincing as he pulls me off to prevent his high, drool spilling out of my mouth and onto my legs. “So messy.” He teases, reaching down to wipe it off. He then kneels down fully and I squeal in surprise as he scoops me into his arms, throwing me onto the bed. He follows, kneeling in front of my open legs. “Strip.” He demands simply as he watches me intently, using the slickness from my mouth to pump himself. I let out a shaky breath as I slowly peel off my shirt, then undo my bra, slightly teasing him. He groans in frustration, crawling over me. “Stop being such a damn tease.” He hisses, ripping my shorts and panties off my legs, throwing them across the room. He quickly rips his own shirt off, nearly tearing it in the process, and fully removes his boxers. I take in his tanned chest, running my fingers over his tattoos. His dick brushes against my stomach as he moves down, adjusting himself, then thrusting hard into me. I cry out at the sudden fullness, his length pressing against my cervix as he slid all the way in. “Yeahh…” He moans in contentment as he bottoms out, me whimpering in response. He wastes no time and starts moving, holding himself above me and building a fast rhythm.

“Tyler…” I moan, my voice high and whiney, my fingernails digging into his back.

“You sound like such a fucking slut, you just love this don’t you? Me fucking you stupid until all you can remember is my name...” He says lowly, holding heavy eye contact with me as I gasp in pleasure at his words. “Use your words and answer me. Do you love it baby?” He coos condescendingly, fucking me harder.

“Ye-yes I love it so m-much.” I reply, my own gasps cutting off my words as he pounded into me.

He leans down, his lips curled into a smile as they pressed against my ear. “Say my fucking name then.” He whispers, the sensation sending tingles down my spine.

“Tyler….” I moan louder, closing my eyes as I lost myself in pleasure.

“No, Look at me.” He tsks, gripping my jaw harshly. I open my eyes, looking up to see his dark expression, his eyes hooded and his lips slightly parted. He breathed heavily, smirking as I complied. “So obedient.” He sighs proudly, running his fingers across my bare chest, kneading my breasts and circling my nipple with his thumb, the sensation combined with his thrusts making my eyes roll back in pleasure. He suddenly pulls back, and I whine loudly from the loss. Just when I was getting close… “Don’t be a brat.” He scolds, flipping me over, pressing my face into the mattress.

“Please fuck me!” I cry, my voice slightly muffled by the pillow, my thighs clenching impatiently around nothing. I moan in surprise when his hand makes contact with my ass, slapping it roughly. “I said don’t be a brat.” He seethes, slamming back into me. I moaned loudly, gripping onto the side of the bed frame as his hips moved me forward. He slams in and out of me, his hips slapping against the plush of my ass, the bed frame hitting the wall with each movement. I look behind me to see his head tilted back, letting out a strangled moan. Fuck he looks good. A burning sensation swirls in my stomach as he hits the spot deep inside me perfectly, over and over again. I pant, moaning uncontrollably as he moves in and out, my wetness dripping down the back of my thighs. I hold my hand over my mouth, my eyes squeezed shut as I tried not to scream in pleasure, him humming proudly as he notices.

“Yeahhh you feel good?”

I stay silent, my mouth slack from pleasure, drool pooling in my hand.

“I asked you a question you slut.” He says, forcibly removing my hand from my mouth, the spit spilling onto the pillow as I moaned roughly. Why did those words sound so… familiar? “Reading nasty stories online about me degrading you, spanking and slapping you…” He says and my heart drops. He fucking knew.

“I-I…” I start, trying to explain myself and he quickly silences me, putting a finger over my lips, then forcing two of them in my mouth.

“You can’t help it. You’re just a needy little whore, you have to get off somehow when I’m not around huh?” He asks soothingly and I nod, whining against his fingers as he keeps up with his thrusts. “I think it’s cute.” He whispers into my ear, his breathing heavy, likely getting closer to his peak. “It was a good way to find out how dirty my girl is. I can’t believe I haven’t done this to you before... You know how much I’ve wanted to bend you over, spank you, make you scream?” He whispers and I shake my head in response, letting out a shaky breath against his fingers, almost cumming from his words alone, getting closer and closer.

“I’m gonna cum…” I whine, my words muffled by his fingers.

He wraps his hand under my stomach at this, keeping me in place, keeping himself almost painfully deep inside, thrusting quickly. “Cum for me like a good girl, milk my fuckin’ dick.” He moans shakily, starting to lose his composure. I whimper at his words, moaning loudly into the pillow as I came, my fingernails digging into the bed as I tightened around him.

“Fuck baby…” Tyler gasps, shooting into me, thrusting through his high with groans and heavy breaths, finally slowing his pace. We both whine at the loss when he pulls out, him flopping down next to me, pulling me into his chest. The two of us pant, trying to catch our breaths as I snuggled into him.

“You ok love?” He asks breathily.

“Yeah, I am.” I smile, a feeling of remorse swirling in my stomach at the fact he discovered my reading habits.

Once both of our breathing finally slowed, I looked up at him, my chin resting on my arm that was sprawled across his chest. “Hey Tyler?”

“Yeah?” He looks down quickly, holding my face gently.

“I’m sorry about the stuff I was reading. I know that was weird of me.” I apologize, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Hey…” He soothes, petting my hair. “Personally, I don’t find it weird. I think it’s hot.” He laughs breathily. I mean, who’s wife is into them enough to the point of reading erotic fanfiction about them online?” He jokes and I giggle. “I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But from now on if you want me to be any certain way in bed just tell me. I mean look where you indirectly brought us tonight that was fucking amazing.”

“It really was.” I sigh in contentment, kissing him softly.

“I think we’ll have to do that again.” He smirks and I laugh, cuddling into him more. “But right now I have to take care of you after that, you wanna get cleaned up?” He asks and I gently nod, the two of us giggling as he picked me up, carrying me to the bathroom to run a bath. I loved seeing his rough side for the first time tonight, but his soft side is something I’ll always appreciate too.

[ret1cent]

i love your fics! 💖

omg tysm :,)) feedback truly is motivating for me with my work so it means a lot to hear this <3

[ret1cent]

tøp ppl who have specific x reader one shots they have in mind for either of the boys… come my way my requests are open and i need ideas 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[ret1cent]

high over you

josh dun x fem reader

“once i get it so addicted, got me tripping high over you.”

WC: 2,000+

warnings: smut, overstimulation (and limits pushed bc of it), oral (fem receiving), penetration, slight praise kink, soft dom josh 😋, porn without a plot, squirting (sorry it’s hot), lightly proof read due to me writing it after a night out (take that as you will)

a/n: i should probably be feeding my space between series readers but instead i am feeding my gooners. I WILL UPDATE THE SERIES SOON THO I SWEAR

I look up when I hear the door knob turning, a smile widening on my face when I see Josh with his squinty smile peeking through the door. Jim quickly leaves my side, his paws padding against the hardwood floor as he goes to meet Josh, his long tail wagging back and forth. “Hey buddy.” He grins, ruffling the fur on his head.

“Babyyy!” I muse affectionately, getting up from the plush couch to greet him with a hug. He chuckles and wraps his strong arms around me, the scent of his cologne filling my nostrils as I buried my face into his chest.

“Hey!” He greets back enthusiastically. He had just come back from the last leg of tour. I had come along with him for the majority of the Europe leg, but I had to part ways early due to work commitments. Though it had only been a week, it had felt like an eternity.

“I missed you…” I mumble into his chest.

“I missed you too.” He coos, pulling away and looking down, holding my cheek affectionately. He leans down to kiss me, his lips soft and warm against mine, the mint of his chapstick leaving a pleasant sting. I hum, my lips starting to move more feverishly against his. At this, he wraps his arms around my lower back, pulling my hips against his. My breathing picks up as he runs his tongue across my lips softly. I part them, sliding my tongue against his, the warm feeling sending shivers down my spine. He moves his lips to my neck and a soft moan tumbles out of my lips as he sucks and licks at my pulse point. I look over to see Jim sitting and staring at us, wagging his tail.

“Let’s move to the other room…” He says, the two of us giggling.

“We’ll be back.” I coo softly, stroking Jim’s cheek.

“Yeah mom and dad have some work to get done...” Josh jokes and I snort, smacking his arm as he leads me by the waist to the bedroom. We walk in and Josh closes the door behind us, being quick to take my hips back into his hands and walking me backwards until I fell softly onto the bed.

I giggle breathlessly, him smiling as he peels of his shirt, revealing his toned chest and stomach.

“Hey baby…” I start nervously, twirling a strand of his brown curls with my finger.

“Yeah?” He asks, his voice slightly concerned as he stopped what he was doing.

“Can we maybe try something new today…?” I ask, biting my lip softly in an anxious anticipation.

His eyes light up with a burning curiosity. “Always. What were you thinking?”

“Could we try like… overstimulation…? Like you don’t stop even after I cum or even if I say it’s too much…?” I suggest, my cheeks burning up with embarrassment.

A smirk slowly forms on his lips. “Hell yeah. That sounds really hot actually wow…” He says with a slightly exasperated laugh. “You’re nastyyy!” He jokes and I slightly shove him, him chuckling in response.

“It’s not that abnormal!” I defend myself with a giggle, my cheeks still flushed.

“You’re right.” He reassures me with a smile, stroking my flushed skin. “We need to be careful with this though, let’s have a safeword. What should it be?”

“Errr… How about red? Like a red light?”

“Oh yeah that’s something people do right? Like saying using a traffic light color to tell the other person where they’re at?”

“Yeah that sounds familiar... Wow you’re a sex expert!” I joke with a grin.

“Well! I do my research, we’ve experimented before!” He says with a toothy smile.

“I think I’ll be fine, but if I get too overwhelmed I’ll just say red.”

“Ok baby, sounds good.” He says, leaning in to softly kiss me again.

I hum in contentment, pulling his body further onto me, running my fingers down his hard muscled chest. He groans quietly against my lips when my fingers reach his v-line, my nails slowly running back and forth over the sensitive area. He pulls away to fully pull his sweats off, the tent in his boxers now in view. I wet my lips with my tongue and reach forward, slowly pumping him through the material, his clothed length thick and warm between my fingers. His eyes flutter closed and his lips part softly, a strangled groan leaving his throat.

“You’re sensitive.” I pointed out with a giggle.

“Yeah well I haven’t seen you in so long! And I haven’t had a lot of personal time either… You were killing me with those texts.” He scolds playfully and I grin, reflecting back on the flirty messages and pictures I was teasing him with.

“Well I missed youuu!”

“Yeah and tortured me because of it! So that’s why I’m getting my revenge today.” He says and I giggle as he pushes me further up on the bed so he could lay down in front of me. He slowly peels my shorts and panties off, the action having me gripping the sheets in anticipation.

“Take your shirt off.” He demands softly while holding eye contact, slowly starting to circle my clit with his thumb. I whine at the feeling and at the tone of his voice, peeling my shirt off, already braless from lounging around the house. He hums in approval, moving his other hand up to circle my nipple with his calloused thumb, the sensation sending a burning pleasure to my core.

“Mmm Josh…” I moan as he drags his fingers through my slickness, moving his fingers back up to stimulate my clit, my own wetness from his fingers leaving a cooling sensation from the air in the room. He slid his thick digits into my entrance, going as deep as he physically could and slowly started to thrust them, keeping them deep inside. My eyes roll back from the feeling, my back slightly arching against the bed. “Baby please…”

He smirks at my plead and withdraws his fingers after a few minutes of me writhing and mewling in pleasure, and goes further down onto the bed, his face in front of my dripping arousal. He leans forward, slowly dragging his tongue through my wetness and pushing it inside.I whine and tug at Josh’s curls, him groaning in response as he slowly thrusts his tongue in and out, going as deep inside as he could. He moves his face up to suck on my clit, sliding his fingers inside me again. “If you keep doing that I'm gonna cum so fast.” I whine.

“Good.” He mumbles against me, lazily thrusting his tongue in and out along with his fingers, pulling me as close to his face as possible.

“Fuck… Keep doing that.” I whine as the bridge of his nose rubbed against my clit, his tongue thrusting in and out of me quickly.

He seems to turn almost animalistic at my request, gripping my thighs roughly as he kept it up. I pant in and out quickly as an overwhelming burning sensation took over me, shooting all the way down to my toes, my body clenching around him as I came.

“Josh!” I moan tearily as he didn’t slow his pace at all, licking up every drop of my arousal, moving back up to suck on my swollen abused clit, harshly breathing against me as he dipped his long tongue back into my soaking entrance. Every nerve felt on fire, every reasonable part of my brain yelled ‘stop, it’s too much!’ but I didn’t want it to stop. The painful pleasure was hypnotizing, euphoric. He slightly moves away, lifting me up by my lower back and thighs, diving back in, his invading tongue thrusting in and out as he held me up. I pant quickly, my eyes rolling back and my mouth going slack. Nothing intelligible was leaving my parted lips at this point other than choked high pitched cries.

“F-fuck ow…ow..” I whine at the sensation, my back arching as my stomach swirls with an overwhelming heat. He groans roughly in response, letting go of one of thighs to undo his jeans, replacing his tongue with his thick fingers, not giving me one moment without stimulation while he undid the knot of his sweats with one hand, removing them with practiced ease. He lowers his boxers and looks down at me, stroking my flushed face with his free hand as he moves his digits in and out of me.

“I need to fuck you so bad.” He nearly whines, his length standing hard and leaking against his stomach.

“Please…” I whine, almost feeling high from the pleasure.

He removes his fingers and enters me, quickly starting to thrust, rough groans leaving his throat. I moan loudly in suprise, digging my nails into his curls, slightly moving my hips up to fuck myself back onto him, my wetness dripping down my thighs.

“Such a pretty girl.” He muses, petting my hair as I throw my head back, whining at his praise. “Making such a pretty little mess for me.” He pants as he thrusts harder, running his fingers down the slickness of my thighs, spreading it down. He moves his hand further up, finding my clit with his thumb and quickly starting to circle it.

“Fuck it’s too much...” I moan, my eyes filling with tears of pleasure.

“Yeah, I know, I know….” He gently soothes with a nod, knowing he was safe to continue since I didn’t use the safe word. “But I know you can take it baby.” He says, leaning down to press a kiss to my head, and to both sides of my cheeks, his lips warming my overheated skin even more. He then moves down to my lips. I whine, kissing him back feverently, my tongue prying his lips apart, him kissing back with just as much desperation. ”Fuck you feel so good…” He moans deeply, punctuating his words with deep thrusts. His hips pick up in pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room, his thumb moving quicker over my sensitive bud.

“Josh!” I whine, throwing my head to the side.

“You feel good baby?”

“Mhmmm…”

“Look me in the eyes.” He demands, his voice breathy and gentle as he moves my head by my chin to face him. I open my eyes, my lips slightly parted as he keeps thrusting. “Look me in the eyes and tell me how you feel.” he says, his voice nearly a whisper.

I whimper, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “I feel so good Josh so fucking g-good..” I moan, keeping my eyes interlocked as his, the warmth of eyes darkened from how blown out his pupils had become.

“Mhmm such a good girl…” he purrs, drunk on pleasure as he licks up the side of my neck as he pounds into me, leaving dark purple marks across my neck, his tongue soothing the sting of his teeth on my skin.

“I’m gonna cum…” I pant out quickly, a fire rapidly spreading throughout my stomach.

“Cum for me…I wanna feel you...” He encourages, breathing heavily against my neck. I moan, my nails digging into his skin as I squirt around his length, his naval glistening with the clear stickiness. His eyes roll back as I squeeze around him. He forced his length as deep as possible as I tightened around him, as if my body were trying to force him out from being too overworked. “Fuck so tight…” He whines, his hips still moving fast and deep, his thumb not letting up on my sensitive bud.

“T-too much…” I babble, practically drooling from pleasure, my orgasm being brutally dragged out.

“But you can’t get enough huh baby?” He asks breathily, and I let out a pitiful whine in response, unconsciously squeezing my legs around him. I stare up at his concentrated face in a daze, feeling lightheaded as I watch his eyes occasionally flutter close or his bottom lip getting caught between his white teeth.

He reaches his peak, cumming into me with one last thrust, finally pulling his thumb away and slowing his hips. The two of us were breathing hard, skin flushed and hair sticking to our foreheads. I pull him down by his curls, slowly and sloppily making out with him.

“God I missed you.” I whisper as I pull away, the string of drool connected by our lips falling onto my chest .

“I really really missed you too.” his eyes squint as he smiles, and he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. “Wow. We need to do that more often.” He chuckles softly, stroking my hair.

“I’ll say.” I say, letting out an exasperated laugh as I throw an arm over my head.

“You’re gonna need some major care after that.” He says, bringing me into a tight hug, the two of us giggling.

[ret1cent]

disparate youth series (coming soon)

(joshler. a romance/dark comedy series)

the year is 2013 and tyler joseph has just been shipped off to a religious boarding school by his parents after being busted for selling weed. as he continues to cause trouble at his new school, his headmaster insists on enrolling him in the schools troubled youth program, led by an infatuating man by the name of josh dun. how did someone so young and edgy looking end up in a position like that?

a/n: just to put it out there this plot is heavily inspired by the stories baby blue by alphaoriginal and the broken hearts club by utterflop on wattpad, i was obsessed with both these books while they were being published about 7 years back and have always wanted to write something inspired by the two so i finally am! it’ll still be my own story with its own setting and plot points but i want to make sure no one thinks i’m copying anyone

[ret1cent]

would you guys burn me at the stakes if i started a joshler series in the big 2025

[ret1cent]

hii do you write requests?

yes i do! :) feel free to request anything on my writing list that you can find in my intro post, i’d love to write my first request

[ret1cent]

✩｡°⋆masterlist⋆｡°✩

✦= work that currently contains smut

twenty one pilots

josh dun

on my mind (josh dun x fem reader) ✦

high over you (josh dun x fem reader) ✦

the space between series (josh dun x reader)

tyler joseph

tough love (tyler joseph x fem reader) ✦

[ret1cent]

the space between (pt.6)

josh dun x fem reader

WC: 5,000+

“and you know, we’re on each others team.”

warnings: discussions of unhappy relationship, the burn is still burning slow

a/n: i’m SO glad i’m finally getting this out to you guys :) it’s not my best chapter since it’s kinda a filler to get the plot moving more but i hope everyone still enjoys it regardless

previous chapters

May 23rd, 2016.

I sat in my parked car, buzzing with excitement as I opened my phone, going to Kass’s contact to call her. I checked the time in the corner of my screen, the white numbers shining 1:35 AM. Yikes, I didn’t even realize I was over at Josh’s for so long, it was ungodly late to be up on a workday. My finger hovers over the call button hesitantly. It’s ok, she would forgive me, I think. The news was too big! I press call, the phone rang about a minute without an answer. Right as I was about to give up and hang up, she picked up.

“Are you crazy?” She mumbles, clearly having been asleep before the call.

“Kass! I’m so sorry to awaken you like this, but I have some news...”

“And it couldn’t wait until hours that normal humans are awake?” she asks sleepily, aware of my night owl tendencies.

“I’m sorry!” I whine apologetically. “I’m just really excited and needed to tell someone. But I think you’ll like this. Josh and Tyler invited me on tour as their photographer...” I say, waiting for her reaction. At the other end, I hear her sitting up and rustling to turn a lamp on.

“WHAT?” She shouts and I nearly jump in my seat, not prepared for the volume of her voice to change so drastically.

“Yes dude! Josh just offered the opportunity tonight and I kind of just took it on a whim… I don’t know... I just remembered everything you were saying and everything he was saying made sense too. I think I just have to do this, for my own happiness.”

“I’m so happy for you oh my gosh! (Y/n) this is gonna be amazing we’ll be going on tour together!” She says, two of us breaking into a fit of excited giggles. “So, you’re gonna leave Warner Brothers then? I think it’s too late for you to put in your two weeks…”

“I’ll just have to resign and see what Frank says... Honestly, he’ll probably just fire me on spot, he’s probably been dying to get rid of me. But I don’t even give a fuck anymore! I have a new much more exciting job lined up so suck on that Frank!” I exclaim and Kass whoops in the background

“God this is amazing. This is gonna be so great for us.” she says dreamily with a quiet yawn.

I smiled, glad that she was just as happy about this as I was. “We’ll talk about this more tomorrow, or later today technically... you sound tired so I’m gonna let you go so you can get back to sleep.”

“Okkk.” She says, the word prolonged by another yawn. “Love you. I’m so excited for you.”

“Thank you! I love you too girl, see you tomorrow.” I say and hang up, getting out of the car and exposing myself to the chill of the air compared to the comforting warmth of my car.

I shivered; my arms folded over my chest as I made my way to the front door. I slowly put the key in the knob and twisted it open, trying not to disturb Logan too much if he had come home. Surely enough when I entered the bedroom, he was curled up in on the bed, his black hair messy and his pink lips parted as he slept. He looked calm, at peace. It was a look I rarely seemed to see on his face anymore. Nowadays it felt like his guard was never down. My stomach swirled with guilt as I watched him for a moment, alone in bed like that. It was wrong of me to be out all night like this. I should’ve been here with him, whether we had an argument or not. I sighed and walked into the bathroom, sliding the door closed behind me, it making a soft rolling noise as I pulled it to shut. I turned the lock to the side and pulled my hair back so I could wash my face. It was too late to take a shower; I would rinse off in the morning when I woke up. Once I changed, washed and moisturized, I brushed my teeth and retreated to the bedroom. I slowly opened the door, tiptoeing to the bed before crawling in. I shifted over to lay right in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered suddenly, overcome with emotion as I watched him lay comfortably. My bottom lip slightly twitched, hot tears stinging in my eyes. For what exactly, I wasn’t particularly sure. Perhaps for leaving for the night, for how things had changed between us, for the fact that I was about to leave again...

He mumbles something incoherent, still asleep as he wraps his arms around my waist, holding me as he slept. I lay, paralyzed with emotion, staring at the wall until my eyes grew heavy.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

May 24th, 2016.

I walk out of the Warner Brothers lot, the sun beaming on me as I let out a refreshed sigh, Kass walking beside me.

“Feels good huh?” She asks with a teasing smile.

“It feels like this ginormous weight has been lifted off my chest.” I say with a small laugh.

At the end of my workday, I had given Frank notice of my resignation. Although I expected nothing but relief on his end, he seemed applauded.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

“You’re seriously considering leaving this job? Do you even know how lucky you are to have it?” He had asked with a mocking laugh.

“Yes, I’ve fully appreciated the opportunity to be here, it was a blessing but it’s time for me to move on with a new chapter of my life...” I explain, wondering if I was about to be fired for the first time in my life.

He looked down at his desk when a sigh. “Do you even understand how busy we are this week? You can’t just leave right now.”

“Well, I don’t have to, I told you I can work until the 27th.”

He clenched his jaw in frustration and looked at the window. “Fine, then do that. That’s the same day Kassandra leaves anyway.” He replied, as Kass had to leave the same day for the tour.

I found myself physically unable to hold back the smile that formed on my face, pleased to hear the fact that some part of him realized that my presence was in fact needed at work. “Thank you, sir.”

“Oh, don’t get all smug now.” He grumbled with a glare.

“I’m not!” I defend myself, the amusement in my voice peeking through. “I’ll head out now.” I say, quickly gliding out of the room before he had the chance to change his mind.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

I sit behind the wheel of my car, happiness bubbling in my chest as I drive down the streets of Glendale. I took a little detour before I went home, it was a nice day, and I was in the mood to stop by one of my favorite boba places down there. It’s important to treat yourself sometimes, even if you go 20 minutes out of your way for it! A breeze floods through my window as my music blasts, and I hummed along to the tune until I was suddenly interrupted by a call notification. I groan, begrudgingly tapping the pickup icon on the screen.

“You interrupted my music you fuck!” I complain jokingly, not even seeing whose call I had answered yet.

“I’m sorry!” Josh retaliates with a laugh.

“Oh, thank God it’s you I was praying it wouldn’t be like my grandma calling and then me answering like that.”

“You didn’t check?” he asks with an amused chuckle.

“I’m driving, ok?! Are you gonna keep interrogating me or tell me why you called?” I asked jokingly.

“I just wanted to check in, we got 5 days before our flight my guy!”

I wince. I had done virtually nothing to prepare for a trip that lasted months long around the US. It was partly because of how last minute this plan had been, but also because I still had not told Logan about my job offer, and the even most important detail which was the fact that I had accepted it.

“Um… hello?” Josh says, confused by my sudden silence, blissfully unaware of the panicked calculations racing through my mind.

“Yeah no… things are going great.”

“Ok yeah, that wasn’t convincing at all. How much progress have you made with packing be honest…”

“Well… you know… none.” I admit, slightly shameful.

“(Y/n)!” He shouts amused but also concerned. “You know you have 5 days to pack for a 4-month trip around the United States, right?”

“Ugh I know.” I groan, defeated. “I just don’t even know where to start.” I say, my stomach swirling with guilt as I lie to him. The main thing that was really holding me back was Logan’s lack of knowledge about the trip. What excuse were you supposed to use to explain packing a 4-month long supplies of clothes up? Josh hasn’t asked how he responded yet, and deep down he probably knew I was avoiding it, or he just didn’t even want to bring it up.

“Why don’t I help you prepare then? I’ve done this plenty of times now.” He suggests.

“Sure, but how?”

“I know this is last minute, but if you’re free today we could go shopping together? I could help you choose supplies and clothes and everything.”

“Ok Josh! I didn’t know you were a fashionista like that.” I say teasingly, focusing as I made a left turn.

“You know what I meant! Smart ass.” He grumbles.

“I’m flipping you off right now you just can’t see.”

“Mature. Can you actually answer my question please? Are you free?” He laughs, likely exhausted by my short attention span.

“Yeah, I’m free I’m in Glendale though.”

“That’s cool, why don’t we meet at the Galleria? We can hit up Target for travel essentials and there’s a lot of options for clothes around the mall?”

“You know what yeah that sounds fun! Let me just go grab my drink and I’ll meet you over there?”

“Dopeeee, I’ll let you know when I’m there.”

The two of us hung up and I pulled up the shop, ordering and sitting with the drink outside. I sip my drink, the sweetness of the caramel and vanilla causing a pleasant tingling sensation in my neck. I close my eyes momentarily, letting myself bask in the warmth of the golden rays emitting from sun, taking in the sound of the birds in the tress lined up along the sidewalk, and the sounds of soft conversation from passers-by. It had been a while since life didn’t feel so heavy, or like the concept of living felt more like a blessing than a chore. I smile as I look down at the ground, seeing a curious crow waddling around the tables, looking for crumbs and then stopping, standing calmly by my shoes.

An enormous weight had been lifted off my chest, and I didn’t even realize how close I was to suffocating until it was pulled off me. I never realized how held down I had become by my job. Now knowing that I would soon be off to explore new places and do what I loved was euphoric. Not to mention it would be with some of my best friends, old and new.

I smile to myself, finishing my drink and throwing it away. About 20 minutes later, Josh had texted saying he was almost there, so I made my way out, now stuck in a line of cars to get a spot in the Galleria’s parking garage. I groaned as I sat unmoving, my spirits lifted when someone finally waved me in with a smile, pulling out of their spot and driving away. Thank God. I was already about 10 minutes behind; Josh had been waiting in front of the Target for me. Since when was this place so packed even during the week?

I hop out of the car, grabbing my purse, locking it and then jogging up the stairs to the Target entrance. I see Josh leaning against the railing, staring below at the cars driving past. He looks up at me with a smile at the sound of my footsteps, his eyes hidden by his sunglasses. “Hey slowpoke.” He says with a chuckle, taking me into quick hug.

“Ok that traffic was fucking crazy, why are so many people here on a random Tuesday?!”

He chuckles at my complaint. “You’re good don’t worry, this place has been crazyyy recently that’s why I usually try to avoid it, but I can make an exception for you!”

“Wow this is such an honor!” I joke with a hand over my heart. We strolled into the store, the cool air hitting me and the sound of pop music and rolling shopping carts filling my ears.

“Ok, so what do you need still?”

“Um like... everything.” I admit.

“Ms. Unprepared over here!” he says, lightly smacking my arm as we walk.

“I’m sorryyyy.” I groan. “I’ve never been on the road for 4 months I don’t even know what I need!”

“Well let’s start with the basics, do you have like toiletries already that you can just bring with you?”

“I’m out of some stuff anyway, I might as well restock.”

The two of us walk through the facial care aisle, me picking up the face wash and moisturizer I use.

“So, how’d Logan react to the news?” He asks with a side-glance, his eyebrow quirked in curiosity.

“What?” I ask, my stomach dropping at the suddenness of the question.

“Um to you getting the job?” He laughs at my confusion.

Oh yeah, the once in a lifetime job offer that was going to change my life, duh. “Oh, you know, he was fine.” I say mindlessly, looking over at Josh, my eyes flicking to the side momentarily before I look back at the aisle shelves.

He squints his eyes in a dramatic suspicion, a small smile playing at his lips as he stares at me in silence.

“What!” I laugh, turning to him dramatically, sensing his gaze.

“Well first of all, you’re a terrible fucking liar, sorry.” He laughs. “But second of all you did your nervous eye thing.”

“My nervous eye thing?” I repeat with a confused laugh.

“Yes! You do this thing when you’re nervous where you look to the side super quickly it’s a dead giveaway.”

“Ok well you’re just a weird scary stalker for noticing that.” I joke and he rolls his eyes. I smile at the absurdity of the observation but truthfully, I felt oddly seen by someone noticing such a tiny little detail about my habits, especially one that went unseen by me.

“Ok you little comedian.” He says, gently turning my shoulders to face me away from the products on the shelves, little plastic scapegoats for my attention. I met his eyes reluctantly. “What's up? Why haven't you told him yet?” He asks, his eyes clouded with curiosity and concern.

“Ughhh are we seriously having this conversation in a Target?” I ask dramatically and he chuckles.

“Well, when else are we supposed to have it? We leave in 4 days.” he asks honestly, his tone turning slightly more serious, but his pink lips formed in a sympathetic half smile. “Look... I know this offer was super last minute, we can make things work if you can’t come, I’m sure Mark can figure things out so don’t feel pressured... You can always just come with us on our next tour...” He starts, looking down at the ground, his expression understanding, but his voice holding an undeniable tone of disappointment.

“No! No...” I say, slightly embarrassed by how fast I rushed my response out, him glancing back up quickly. “I really really wanna go.” I admit genuinely. “This is literally like a dream come true.” I laugh in disbelief, still not able to process everything. “I haven't told Logan because I know it won’t go well... I know it’s really avoidant of me and that I will have to have this conversation with him regardless, it’s just hard.” I sigh, slightly leaning against a shelf.

“I understand…” He says, his lips slightly puffing out as he looks up in thought. “You do need to communicate with him though, especially with a change this huge. You won’t see him for weeks on end. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell him though; he’s your finance, he should be supporting your dreams. Plus, if you’re having issues, maybe a little distance will do you some good.” He adds lightly with a shrug.

“Yeah, you’re right, I’ll talk to him when I get home.” I sigh, rubbing my opposite shoulder softly.

“Good.” He says with a soft smile. “I’ll be there with any support you need, ok?”

“Ok.” I say with smile in return. I allowed myself to be reassured by his support, trying to stifle the swirling feeling of nervousness in my gut.

The two of us move on from the front aisles, now walking through the back of the store, catching up on some of the things in our lives we hadn’t discussed yet. There was still a lot to catch up on. Unsurprisingly, a lot of shit can happen in 3 years. Josh turns into a toy aisle while we’re talking, and I pause with a quirked eyebrow.

“Why are we here?” I asked with a smile. “I don’t think toys are a tour necessity.”

“Depends on what kind.” He says suggestively, playfully wiggling his eyebrows. I gasped, thrown off by his response.

“Josh!” I laugh.

“I was talking about this kind you sick woman, get your mind outta the gutter!” He jokes, picking up a red lightsaber. “You never know when you might need to defend yourself, like if a burglar breaks into the bus…” He says, and whips the lightsaber open, twirling it around before softly hitting my arms with it, making light saber noises with his mouth.

“Are you 5?” I asked with a laugh.

“Are you gonna to lie to me right now and say you don’t wanna have a lightsaber battle?”

I look to the side in thought before picking up a blue saber, whipping it open and breaking into battle with him, the two of us giggling like maniacs while trying to force the lightsaber out of the others hand.

“Stop it!” I whine as he was using his strength to push my saber closer to my body while I tried to pretend to stab him.

“What? You just want me to let you kill me?” He chuckles. “You think that’s what they do in the Star Wars universe? Just politely asking to kill each other?”

“Yes, maybe if they were really nice about it would work!”

Josh finally relents and lets me pretend to stab him and stumbles back, clutching his stomach with a dramatic groan.

A Target employee passes us in the aisle and gives us a weird look, causing me and Josh to meet each other's eye.

“Ok maybe it’s time to put these down.” I say, setting the plastic weapon back down on the shelf. A lightsaber fight between two 27-year-olds in a Target aisle could only go on for so long.

He chuckles in agreement, the two of us walking away from the toy aisles and browsing the rest of the store. I bought some other necessities like a good portable charger, a sleep mask, motion sickness medication, sleep medication and ear plugs.

“Not only for the music at the shows,” Josh had said, “but you also don’t want your bus mates keeping you up playing Mario Kart at 1 am when you’re trying to sleep.” Clearly being in reference to Tyler and Mark.

The two of us were now in Hot Topic, scanning the shelves of band tees.

“I feel like a narcissist looking at pictures of myself on T-shirts.” Josh jokes, thumbing through the stack of tees.

“Hey, you’re helping to style me it’s for a good cause!” For obvious reasons I had never gotten any of the official merch in recent years, well, besides a test design or two at the start of their career. But now that I had so many shows to wear so many different outfits to, I felt inclined to represent them, at least a little. “God being back here takes me to my emo days.” I giggle, looking around the store admiringly.

“And those ended when…?”

“You know what I mean! Like intense emo, like the Myspace era. What do you think about this one?” I ask, holding up a tee with a faded image of the boys and the band's logo against my body.

“Yeahhh, I think I look good enough in that!” He jokes. As he was about to say something else, an employee walked up to us.

“Hey, you’re Josh Dun, right?” she asks, her voice shy, but excitement gleaming in her eyes.

“Yeah, that’s me.” he says kindly with a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m a really big fan of you guys...” she says to Josh, and I zone out, watching the interaction with a smile. It was kind of surreal to see Josh getting recognized like that. Of course, I was well aware of how famous they had gotten, but I had never seen him get recognized in public like this. It was really cool to see that people were so touched by their music.

The girl turns to me, studying me a bit. “You’re a photographer, right?” she asks with a smile, likely referring to the shoot I did with Josh.

“Y-yeah I am!” I respond, slightly thrown off by being recognized just for that. It felt good.

“Your work is really cool; you have such a unique style I love it!” She says enthusiastically and I giggle appreciatively.

“Wow thank you so much, that means everything to me.”

“Of course. Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now but let me know if you need help finding anything.” She says with a sheepish smile. Us thanking her as she walks away.

I turn to Josh, a wide smile on my face. “That was so cool!” I say lowly, to make sure the girl didn’t hear.

“I know.” He chuckles breathlessly. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”

“Look at you, big shot.” I say teasingly, nudging his shoulder affectionately, him chuckling in response.

“Stopp.” He complains, embarrassed by the attention, slightly nudging me back. “Hey, you got your moment in the spotlight too.” He says, referring to the girl recognizing me.

“Yeah, that felt really good actually.” I admit with a smile.

“Well get used to it dude! We have incredibly supportive fans, they’ll love you.”

“I don’t know about that one.” I say with a slight giggle, but genuinely uncertain.

“Come on, who wouldn’t?” He asks, looking at me with a smile and I smile back, avoiding eye contact. Now it was my turn to be embarrassed.

“You flatter me.”

“Well don’t worry, I’ll make up for it. I have plenty making fun of you to do still!”

I chuckle, playfully pushing him. “Bitch!” I retaliate.

While there, I got a few more shirts from the boys, a couple shirts from some of my other favorite bands (a self-indulgent choice), two pairs of jeans and a hoodie. We said our goodbye’s to the employee, her getting a picture with Josh before we left.

While wandering around the mall we stopped by Uniqlo, Pacsun and unfortunately for Josh, Sephora. We were currently standing behind a makeup stand, carefully applying black pencil liner under Josh’s eyes.

“This cannot be sanitary.” He complains, trying to keep his eyelashes from fluttering closed.

“Oh, it’s totally not.”

“(Y/n)!” He whines dramatically.

“Stop closing your eyes!”

“It tickles!” He complains, giggling as I moved the pencil to the outer corner of his eye.

“You’re so sensitive!” I laugh, holding onto his jaw to keep him still, his face warm against my fingers. “Ok you’re done.” I say and pull back, looking at the subtle black smeared makeup under his eyes, contrasting nicely with his pink hair and warm eyes. “Wow that looks great.”

“Really?” he asks with a chuckle, turning to inspect himself in the mirror.

“Yeah, you rock the guy-liner look.”

“Oh I’ve BEEN rocking it.”

“Really?” I ask with a giggle.

“Yeah, I do like a red eyeshadow look for our shows.” He says with a smile, opening his Instagram and finding a picture of him in his makeup with Tyler taken with Josh holding a selfie stick, Tyler laughing next to him.

“Aw you guys are cute.” I laugh. “But yeah, you do rock the makeup.”

“I know.” He says, pretending to do a dramatic hair flip, me rolling my eyes at this.

“OKK! Don’t make me take it back you diva.”

“Let me do a look on you.” Josh suggests, me laughing in response.

“Ok just please don’t make me look crazy my makeup looks good today.”

“I can make no promises.” He chuckles, dipping a tester swab in a red eyeshadow. I close my eyes when he brings it toward my face, and he slowly brushes it over my eyelid. He was gentle with handling my face, his fingers holding my chin as if my jaw were as fragile as glass. The swab ran back and forth over my eyelid softly. It was… comforting. I almost felt myself drifting off until Josh’s voice snapped me out of it.

“Fuck I think I messed up.” He chuckles and I open my eyes, watching him bring his thumb up to rub some of the red dust away from under my eye. I slightly zone out, looking into his eyes and he meets my gaze, the two of us holding eye contact for a few heartbeats. I quickly looked away, the two of us chuckling the moment off awkwardly. That was an embarrassing accident... He continues to apply the makeup, then pulls back, observing me with a thumb on his chin like an artist observing his canvas.

“Is it ok?” I laugh, feeling slightly insecure under his intent gaze.

“You know what I have to give it to myself, I don’t think it’s terrible.” He says and I turn around, slightly frightened to see what I would find in the mirror. But to my pleasure, it wasn’t bad at all.

“You made me you!” I say, looking at the red shadow on my lids that went slightly above my eyeliner wings and under my eyes.

“Yeah, it’s kinda the only thing I know how to do.” He chuckles.

“It looks sick! I think I kinda rock it too.” I say with a playful smugness.

“Hell yeah dude!”

While there, I bought a light red and dark maroon Mac matte lipsticks, along with an eyeshadow pallet that had a mix of reds, browns, and silver glitters. It matched the vibe of the Blurryface album from what I could tell, and I wanted to do some cool looks for the tour. I had been advancing with my makeup skills recently when it comes to more sophisticated looks and I wanted to experiment. After Sephora, we also stopped by Urban Outfitters and Forever 21 at the Americana across the street. What was supposed to be a productive mall trip had spiraled into us going on a shopping spree, upgrading our wardrobes. We were now sitting in the expansive grass area that was adorned with string lights above, the two of us watching the large water fountain flow serenely as we ate our ice creams from the Häagen-Dazs stand.

I discreetly scooped my spoon into Josh’s cup, stealing a little bit of his white chocolate raspberry scoop that he had let me try earlier

“Hey!” Josh complains with a laugh, catching me. “Eat your own ice cream!”

“But yours is so good I like the fruitiness!”

Josh glares at me then takes a large spoonful of the caramel cone scoop from my cup.

“Ok that was so much more than I took!”

“Yeah, it’s your tax for stealing.” He says, his voice muffled by the ice cream in his mouth.

“Ugh not fairrr.”

“Yeah, taxes don’t typically tend to be that way.” He chuckles.

The two of us sit in a comfortable silence as we eat, conversation and the sound of music surrounding us. I watched a couple sat in front of us, the two of them giggling as they took pictures together, the girl whining in annoyance as her boyfriend started taking closeup pictures of her face, the two of them laughing as she playfully tried to push his arm away. Cute.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Josh asks, breaking the silence, his eyes fixated on the same couple that I was seeing.

I look up at him, surprised by the sudden, deep question.

“I-I don’t know actually... Do you?” I finally responded after taking a moment to think.

“I think so. I don’t think it has to be like some magical one-of-a-kind soul tied person that you have to meet by chance, I think it’s just someone that sees you, y’know like really sees you.”

“How do you mean?” I asked with an interested tilt of my head, my head rested on my knee as I looked at him, him still looking forward, the string lights glimmering in the reflection of his eyes.

“I don’t know.” he says with a breathy laugh. “Just... someone who really understands you like to your core. Someone you can just be yourself with unapologetically. Like… someone that sees your flaws and is ok with them... and maybe even helps you embrace them yourself.” he says quietly, almost zoning out as he spoke.

“Do you think you’ve ever met your soulmate...?” I ask and he looks back over to me.

“I don’t know. I haven't really been with enough people to know. I mean my only serious relationship was with Sophia... I dated another girl for like a year after but we both just lost interest. We were both looking for different things. Maybe I just haven’t yet, I don’t know.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck. “How about you?” He asks carefully.

“I-I...” I start after a few moments of silence, suddenly overcome with emotion.

“(Y/n)?” he asks softly, watching me as I stare down at the grass.

“I don’t think so.” I admit.

“How about-” He starts, trailing off carefully.

“Everything you said... I realized that Logan doesn’t make me feel any of those things. I mean maybe he used to but... everything is just so different now.” I say, my eyes becoming slightly teary.

“Hey..hey.” he says gently, taking my hand into his. “Those are just my preferences, I don’t set the standards for all couples. Maybe you guys just work differently.” He reasons.

“Maybe you’re right.” I nod, trying to calm myself down. The two of us sit in silence for a few moments, the sounds of crowds shopping and conversation from groups sitting nearby filling the summers air. The warmth of Josh’s hand disappears as he pulls it away from mine. I look up to the dark sky with a sigh. “Maybe things aren’t always meant to be perfect... Maybe love is skewed so often as something that’s supposed to be perfect, that people forget that it’s ok for it to be imperfect sometimes. Maybe it’s not always like the movies, sometimes you just have to settle, you know?” I say gently, rubbing my arm.

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” He says with a nod, a soft, understanding smile on his lips, but his eyes full of uncertainty. His eyes had always been a giveaway when he was fronting his emotions, but I decided not to question it. I nod mindlessly in agreement with a small smile.

“Hey.”

I look back up to him.

“Everything's gonna be ok.” He says genuinely, his eyes full of warmth.

“Yeah?” I ask, my voice hopeful, but edged with a slight uncertainty.

“I promise. You’re gonna be reunited with everyone and even meet some cool new people. The crew will feel like a new family to you, believe me. This will be good for you, it always is for me.” he says, looking into the distance with a smile of admiration, running his hand through his pink curls.

I watch him with a smile. It was sweet to hear him talk about all of them like that, it was clear that they’re all an important part of his life, and it was truly meaningful that he was so willing to let me into it. “Thank you.” I say, my voice thick with emotion. He looks up, slightly startled out of his trance.

“For what?”

“For this opportunity, like really I can’t thank you enough.”

He brushes my words away with his hand. “You don’t have to thank me, seriously! This is what we all thought our life was gonna be like. And it sucks that it wasn't because of everything between us, but I’m just grateful for the fact that we can make up for it now. It’s like... delayed destiny at this point.” He chuckles.

I smile, softly giggling along with him. “You’re right. I sound dramatic but it really does feel like destiny.”

[ret1cent]

hey y’all! i’m sorry for the serious lack of posting recently, with the school term ending, me getting a new job and my mental health not being great i just haven’t been super motivated nor have i had the time to write :/

but i’m almost done writing chapter 6 of the space between and i’ll try to get that out as quick as possible, once i’m off school for summer i’ll definitely be posting more frequently again

[ret1cent]

the space between (pt.5)

josh dun x fem reader

WC:6,000+

“run away-ay with me. lost souls in revelry.”

warnings: some angst, arguments, unhealthy/unhappy relationship, reader is a light smoker and smokes in this chapter, language

a/n: sorry posting took so long, i’ve been in a little flunk with writing recently but i will still keep getting these chapters out for you guys because i really am enjoying creating this story! also if there are any errors please excuse them i proofread this half asleep at 2 am lol

previous chapters

May 23rd, 2016.

I lean my head against the headrest of the passenger seat, watching the buildings of Burbank fly past from the highway as me and Kass approached the Warner Brothers lot. I sip the coffee in my hand, the warmth of it relieving me from the chill of the morning. Her presence made the daunting task of going back to work feel more lighthearted, but I knew the feeling would quickly dissipate once we had to separate. I zone out as I stare out the window, the music from the radio droning on in the background. I knew I had to go back home today; it had been too long.

I couldn’t avoid facing Logan forever. I had to be mature, have a conversation with him about everything that had happened. It wasn’t fair to him to not let him explain himself. But it was anxiety-inducing to think about the confrontation. The most nerve-wracking part is that I have no idea how he’ll react at all. He’s unpredictable like that, and that was the factor that frequently prevented me from confronting him about his actions that hurt me. His reaction could range from him begging for my forgiveness and shaming himself, to him raging, telling me I'm crazy, that he would hurt himself because I made him feel ‘inadequate’.

Many people would quickly remove themselves from a dynamic like this without a second thought, but I’m attached to him. It’s a simple reason, yet the feelings behind it are so large and complicated. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in, I can’t imagine not having him there in my life. Something about just knowing that someone would always be there, especially when you’ve had so many people in your life abandon you, was a comforting feeling. I was brought out of my thoughts when Kass said my name, her already standing outside of the parked car. I looked up at her, startled.

“You ok (Y/n)? We’re here.” She says slight concern in her voice.

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I just zoned out for some reason.” I say slightly confused, rubbing my face and trying to readjust myself after the weird moment. I get out, grab my work bag and then walk with her to set.

Once we entered the large, cold studio I was brought back to the reality that my life was. Something about just getting away from everything and spending the weekend with Josh and Kass felt so dreamy. Especially reconnecting with Josh, it took me back to earlier years, it made me feel young. It was crushing to think that in only one week the two of them would both be leaving. I had other friends here sure, but none that I connected with nearly as much as them. The thought put pressure on my chest, my eyes slightly stinging. I say my reluctant goodbyes to Kass as she heads to the backstage area, then walk up to Frank to see what my jobs would be for the day.

“Hey Frank. What should I focus on for today?” I ask and he looks up with annoyance.

“Well, Sydney already did a coffee run…” he says, insinuating that there would be no tasks left for me to do.

I motion to the hectic set around us. “It looks like there’s plenty going on. There must be something I can do.” I say and he huffs in annoyance, opening the folder in his shoulder, pulling out script packets, then handing them to me.

“Here, take these to the extras.” He grumbles, as if defeated by the idea of me doing anything remotely important at my own job.

I walk outside with the pages in my hand, the sun emitting a warm shine on me, the freeze of the morning air mostly gone. It was a nice day, if only I could just stay out here and not have to talk to Frank for the rest of it. One could only dream. I make my way to the extra’s holding area, seeing a line of people sitting and chatting. I greet them each with a smile, them returning the same kind energy as I hand the people with lines the page that matched their name tag. Everyone was polite and easy going until I reach the end of the line, a girl with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes glaring at me as she looks up from her phone.

“Hey, here you go…” A say with a slight smile, uncomfortable by her expression.

She takes the page from me without a word and looks down at it with an appalled look on her face. “Um this only has 2 lines…” She says bitterly, looking at me as if it were my fault.

“Um... well, you’re an extra. Most of the people here don’t even have lines.” I explain, trying to be kind as I motioned to the other actors and actresses who seemed perfectly content with their papers.

“Are you mocking me?” She asks with an unkind squint of her eyes.

“What? No, I'm just saying…”

“Last time I checked I was supposed to have 4 lines.” She quickly interrupts me.

“Well things change all the time, it’s not unusual for directors to cut lines last minute.” I explain, rubbing the back of my neck uncomfortably.

“I don’t like your tone.” She quips back and I summon all the energy in my body to avoid rolling my eyes.

“Well, I'm just trying to explain. I’m sorry.” I say as politely as possible.

“God can’t some of you people be competent?”

“Ok, I’m walking away now.” I finally decide and she scoffs. I didn’t have to waste my time defending myself against her. Not that a bigger role would excuse her behavior, but it really was crazy how even some of those with the smallest of roles still felt a sense of superiority over the production crew.

The rest of the day seemed to be a blur of inconveniences and an endless stream of snarky comments from Frank. There had been drama between the two main stars on set. Due to this, the film time for the scenes we needed for the day kept getting pushed back because of their halfhearted performances and bickering between scenes. This put a lot of stress on the set, causing everyone to be at each other's throats. Overall, it was not the best of workdays. Especially with my arrival home to Logan looming over my head. It was almost like the feeling you’d experience in childhood, when you got a bad grade on a test or got in trouble in class, and knew you’d have to come home and face your parents with the disappointment.

“Ugh I so don’t wanna do this.” I groan, getting back into the car with Kass.

“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready…” She suggests gently.

“No, I have to… It’s been almost 4 days now of me not being home. I have to, just running away like that wasn’t mature of me.” I sigh, titling my head against the headrest as she turns out of the lot.

“Hey, it’s reasonable to need some space sometimes, especially with what he did.” She reasons. “Have you thought of what you’re going to say?” She asks and I bite the inside of my cheek in thought.

“Honestly, no.” I admit after a brief silence. “I kind of just hope my emotions will guide me in the moment. I know I should have some thoughts prepared but, I just haven’t wanted to think back on the moment. It’s painful to think about.”

She glances over at me in sympathy. “I know you’ll figure it out. You’ll do what’s right for you.”

I smile weakly at this. I hope she’s right, Logan needed to know that what he did was unacceptable, but I haven’t even fully processed the situation yet. I just wonder if this is even something we can fully move past. The pure fear I felt when the glass hit the floor, the look of satisfaction in his eyes when he saw that the punch he threw at Josh had hurt him. His behavior was turning scary, to the point where I didn’t feel fully safe going home.

Kass pulls up into my driveway, which was absent of Logan’s car. Well, I guess I was ok for now. I didn’t have to talk to him yet.

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” Kass asks in concern, gently holding my hand as I stood outside the car.

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” I say, trying to swallow the lump of anxiety forming in my throat.

“Ok…” She says, clearly not believing me. “But please keep me updated. I wanna make sure you’re ok.”

“I will. Love you Kass. Thank you so much for everything this past weekend.” I say with a smile, slowly starting to close the door.

“Literally anytime and I love you too, text me!” She reminds me with an almost motherly concern.

“I will I promise. Seeya.” I say, closing the door, walking up to the house in the same fashion as one would walk a plank.

I pulled out my key to unlock the door, stepping inside. The usual warmth of the house seemed to have left while I was away, the lights dim and the house cold. I look over to the kitchen to see that he had at least cleaned up the glass. I set my bag down by the door, the gentle thud of it echoing. I take my laptop out of it, then take my work boots off and walk over to the couch. I flop down and await my doom, opening my laptop in an attempt to distract myself. It immediately opens to photoshop, where I had been editing the pictures I took of Josh at the pier. I had also been attempting to edit out his black eye just in case he wanted to post the photos and not receive 1000 worried comments asking about what had happened. Even just imagining him having to explain the fact that his friend’s boyfriend beat him up made me wince. Without the proper backstory it would give Josh a bad look. I smile as I look at Josh’s wide grin as he held his plastic alien on the screen. That day was so fun, I hope I’ll be able to get out with him again like that before he leaves on tour. I upload the finished photos to my files and click on the IMessage icon.

hey dude, i thought i should send you these in case you wanted them! i have the original versions which i only altered the physical appearance of color grading and exposure wise and then i also whipped out some of my probably rusty photoshop skills to cover your black eye for the same pics if you wanted to post them. [Files attached]

Josh: i was going to ask abt the pics but didn’t wanna be rude haha but holy shit these are amazing (y/n). you’ve gotten even more talented, these are sick! and thank you for the black eye coverage i greatly appreciate it, these are going right on my insta. but where are the pics of you? 🙌

thanks man :) and they are only mine you don’t get any sorry 👎👎

Josh: WHY! i need to show the gram which one of my talented homies took these pics

UGHHH... fine give me a second to edit them

Josh: yay i won 😁

no you didn’t i’m just nice 👎

I close the app and bring the photos of myself into Lightroom to edit, soothed by the repetitive process. I almost lost track of how much time had passed as I sent the finished pictures to Josh, startled out of my own little world as the doorknob twists and Logan walks inside. I slowly closed my laptop and sat it next to me, him stopping in his tracks and staring at me, his gaze cold, yet surprised. Streaks of blue and purple were spotted on the right side of his face from when Josh had hit him back.

“Where were you?” He asks right away, his tone suspicious and confrontational.

“I stayed at Kass’s for a few days...”

The familiar name seemed to soothe him. He looks to the side, his cheeks slightly puffing as he exhales, deep in thought. “Why’d you just disappear on me like that (Y/n)?” he asks, running a hand through his black hair as he stands by the door.

“You have some questions to answer too.” I rebut defensively, rubbing my arm.

“(Y/n)...” He says more gently, approaching me slowly.

“Why’d you throw the glass? Why’d you hit Josh?” I ask, my voice starting to slightly quiver as I thought about these violent actions coming from the man that I’ve loved and trusted these past years.

He sits next to me on the couch, keeping a bit of distance. “I-I don’t know what came over me. My anger... It gets the best of me. It just feels like I can’t even control it sometimes. Just something about seeing you laughing with another guy like that... I got jealous. I know I haven’t been very present recently. I just got worried that you replaced me because of it. I don’t know.” he says, looking away from my gaze.

“I need you to trust me though. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain before you got violent with him!” I explain desperately.

“Why are you so protective of him? He seemed to hold his own just fine.” He motions to the bruise on his face with his finger.

“Because he’s my friend.”

“Wasn’t this dude out of your life for like almost 4 years? Why is he so important now?” He asks intensely and I shake my head. So, he did listen to the things I would say. He just only reflected that fact when he needed to support his argument.

“Logan it’s not even about him. Forget Josh for one second. This is about the violence you showed in that moment. And the little remorse you show for it. It was scary…” I explain, massaging the bridge of my nose.

“Ok, ok. I’m sorry. I know it was wrong of me. And I’m sorry I scared you… and hurt him.” He adds, a little less genuinely. I need to work on being less territorial. I’m just… scared of losing you.”

“I am too.” I admit, my attachment to him being undeniable. “I just want you to show that more though. I wanna start feeling more seen by you, it feels like we’ve been so disconnected recently. I don’t know, I just wonder if you still even care sometimes.” I say quietly.

“Of course I care, I love you.” He says and moves his arms towards me. My heart seems to clench a moment before I accept his embrace, looking down at the ground.

“I love you too you just... you can’t do any of this anymore. Ok?” I say, pulling back from the hug. Especially the glass that... that scared me.”

He looks away guiltily. “I won’t. I’m sorry.”

The rest of the evening was quiet, and slightly tense. Logan made dinner, lit candles in the living room and poured us wine. It was sweet, I could tell he was trying. I gave him my thanks, but scolded myself for the fact that my behavior didn’t reflect more of my appreciation. As hard as I tried to act normal, it was difficult. We ate in silence in front of the Tv, the noise filling the void of conversation. It had become gloomy outside, the gray clouds creating a dark atmosphere in the living room, the glow of candles being the main source of light around us. After we finished eating, I helped Logan with the dishes and decided I needed to get some air.

“Hey, I’m gonna walk around the neighborhood real quick just so you know.” I say, walking out to the living room to go grab my earphones.

“Sounds good.” He says, slightly looking over his shoulder.

Once I grab my headphones and oversized black Adidas hoodie, I make my way outside after sliding on my shoes, the wind slightly blowing through hair. The leaves of the trees around flow along with the wind, the occasional car whooshing down the street. I connect my earphones to my phone and pull my hood up to protect my hair from the frequent breeze, then open Spotify. I press on the song Don’t Panic by Coldplay, putting my phone back in my pocket as the guitar strums in my ears.

It was calming to just lose myself in the music, music had always been somewhat of an escape for me. There was something so therapeutic about hearing your own emotions being perfectly translated into sound. That’s something I’ve always appreciated about Josh and Tyler’s music, I always felt seen by their lyrics. It made sense, I always seemed to relate to their struggles when we would have heart to hearts at the end of long shoot days when we were all in a delirious haze, laying across floors or couch’s, unwilling to move to head home yet. By coincidence, or perhaps fate, when I skipped through the shuffled songs after Don’t Panic, a song off Blurryface by the name of Hometown starts to play.

For once, I leave it on. I listen to Tyler’s reverberated voice in my ears and as odd as it may be, I felt at home again. I used to always skip their songs when Spotify recommended them. I almost always changed the radio station when they would start playing. Not out of hatred or bitterness. But before Josh and I had reconnected it had only served as a painful reminder that that period of my life that had become nothing but a mere echo of memories. I distinctly remember when I heard the boys on the radio for the first time.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

December 16th, 2013.

I drive down the road, on the way back from a shoot with a new hipster looking clothing brand. It was a cool gig; everyone was chill, and the style was fun. I always appreciate the opportunity to build my portfolio as well as getting out of the usual gigs of headshots and family portraits. Because of the competitiveness of the photography industry, these were usually the only types I was usually able to get my hands on. A soft rain pattered against the window as the radio host’s voice droned on in the background after the last song had ended. I zoned out, following the motions of traffic until a familiar tune snapped me out it.

“I ponder of something great. My lungs will fill and then deflate...”

Holy shit. Car Radio. I had heard the song about a million times, practiced, recorded, performed. I feel my eyes start to well up and look behind me, seeing no cars following closely. I pull over to the shoulder of the road and park, looking down at my lap with a sigh. I wipe the tears starting to trickle down my cheeks as I listen to the song continue. It was hard to describe the emotions I felt. It hurt to think that just at the beginning of the year I was sitting in the studio with them, the excitement of their upcoming album release thrilling, the energy of life feeling uplifting with the progress they were making with their music, getting signed and all.

I had no idea it would be so short-lived on my end, following the end of Josh and I’s friendship. But despite my sadness, I can’t help but feel incredibly proud of them. I had to resist the urge to whip my phone out and text Josh an excited message about how he and Tyler were playing on the radio, about how much they deserved all the success they were starting to gain. I put my hand in my pocket, about to feel for my phone before I quickly pulled back. No, I can’t. It’s over, it’s time to let go. I rub my eyes and wipe the collected drops of rain off with my windshield wipers, starting to drive again.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

I walk to the front door, turning the cold knob to be met with the sight of Logan sitting on the couch, his head down with my laptop open next to him. Oh god. What happened? He slowly looks up in vexation, his hands remaining folded on his lap.

“Why were you with him?” He spits out.

I sigh. So, he saw the photos. In all fairness, I see how it could’ve looked bad. In the eyes of one unaware of the characteristics of our friendship, the photos could have looked rather intimate. But the hangout was purely platonic, the pictures were taken with the point of building my portfolio and giving him content for his fans.

“With Josh? It was just a hangout. He invited me to hang out at the pier. I took pictures to build my portfolio and Instagram feed for my photography account. I know it may look bad and I’m sorry for not telling you we hung out, but we’re really just friends Logan. I swear.”

He shakes his head, roughly grabbing my laptop and looking through the photos again.

“I’m serious, you can even look through our texts I’m not hiding anything!”

He quickly opens the IMessage app at this, slowly scrolling through our conversations.

“You guys talk a lot.”

“Yeah, because we’re friends. We only recently reconnected, can you blame us for wanting to catch up?” I ask desperately and he remains silent, still focused on reading.

“I don’t like this one fucking bit. This isn’t comforting at all. You guys are way too friendly with each other.”

“I’m sorry, I really do understand why you feel like this. But me and him have always talked like this, we’ve never had any romantic history.”

“No romantic history doesn’t mean nothing ever happened...” He suggests snappily and I quickly shake my head.

“No! We’ve never done anything. I’m just not interested in him like that. I wish you’d understand that.” I say and he stands up.

“And I wish you’d see that you’re fucking lying not only to me but also yourself! It’s so obvious you want him, and I can’t stand it.” He accuses with a finger pointing at me, his eyes piercing into mine. “Just stop being friends with him (Y/n)! Before I lose my mind over this.”

“No!” I raise my voice, the response coming out harsher than I meant it to be, and he stares at me in shock. “I... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just... I already lost him. We only just recently reconnected. I finally have another close friend in my life, I feel so much less alone now. I need this.” I explain emotionally.

“I can’t fucking do this. You’re killing me.” He laughs bitterly. He storms out of the house, slamming the door behind him. I look down and notice my hands shaking in frustration. I lay down on my side on the couch, letting out quiet sobs.

I stayed like that for a while, crying for about half an hour until my eyes grew tired. I wipe my burning reddened eyes, sniffling as I opened my phone. I scroll, trying to find condolence in distraction. I didn’t know where Logan was or where he even went whenever we argued like this, but maybe it was good I was alone for now. He needed to blow off some steam. I open Instagram, seeing Josh’s post show up in my feed. I scroll through the colorful photos, seeing the one of me and my cotton candy at the end, my photography and regular account tagged. I slightly smile, my eyes moving down to read the caption.

joshuadun: night at the pier with a pretty swell friend who also happens to be an amazing photographer. thanks for the sick flics my dude (and for winning me my son mulder)

He put the handle of my photography account caption again. It was sweet of him to promote it so much. I look at the comments, people commenting mostly about how much they liked the shots (which were encouraging to read), about how good they thought Josh looked, some sweet ones about calling me pretty that made me smile, and of course the jealous dating accusations that came with any male celebrity posting a friend that happened to be a woman. The comments that stood out to me most though, were the comments from Tyler and Mark.

tylerrjoseph: um hello when did this reunion happen? josh i'm gonna beat you up for not telling me about this. we WILL all hang out and that is a threat

reelbearmedia: wow, (y/n)! that's a throwback tell her i said hi! (and that i said she took some cool shots) we should all reconnect

I chuckle softly at Tyler’s comment. It was nice to see they still cared about me like that. I knew they never stopped liking me because of the falling out or anything unreasonable, but I forgot they still valued me like I valued them. I shot them both a quick text separately saying hello. I explained how Josh and I had reconnected and made up, how I missed them both and apologized for my distance recently. While I waited for a response back from them, I went back on Instagram, surprised to see how blown up my notifications had become. On both my accounts, I was gaining hundreds of followers, all because I had photographed Josh. It was a reality check, it showed how adored he was. It made me slightly emotional; he really did deserve it.

I look at my comments starting to flood with support in disbelief. People genuinely liked my work? Of course I received the occasional compliment under my photos, but never in an overwhelming amount like this. I sniffled, smiling as I liked and replied to comments gratefully. Though it was gratifying to scroll through the positive comments, the pang of pain from me and Logan’s argument remained in my chest. I needed to talk to someone. In reality, lying here on my phone wasn’t doing me any good.

Before I can stop myself, I unconsciously press the call button Josh’s contact, him picking up only after a few rings.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asks, his voice warm.

“Hey I… Uh… Do you think I can come over maybe? I kinda need to talk to someone right now.” I ask guiltily, feeling remorse for not only putting a burden on him at the last minute, but also for turning right to him in my moment of weakness, despite the fact that me and Logan’s argument had happened because of him.

“Yes of course.” He responds quickly. “Are you ok?” He asks, hearing the strain in my voice

“Umm…. not really.” I admit, my lip starting to quiver.

“Come over, let’s talk. I’ll send you my address. Are you ok to drive?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Ok be safe, I’ll see you soon.”

I walk up the stone path leading to the tall door of his house, knocking a few times. I text him to let him know it’s me and right after he opens the door, adorned in a faded gray band crew neck and black sweatpants, his pink hair messy.

“Hey.” he says softly, reaching out his arms and I quickly accept his embrace, the heat of his body and the softness of his sweater comforting to cling onto.

“Hey.” I reply back, slightly quiet, embarrassed about coming to him like this.

“Here, I have a place we can talk.” He says, motioning for me to follow him. I close and lock the door behind me, letting out a soft giggle. “What, you have a therapy room or something?”

“Nooo!” He replies with a teasing roll of his eyes. “Just follow me, you’ll see.”

I listened and followed him out to the backyard which was a large expanse of grass that had a pool and workout equipment sprawled everywhere, along with tall palm trees planted along the edges. The most attractive part of it was the straight on view of the city. I marvel at the view before he leads me to the side of the house, motioning to a large ladder that went up the side of the building.

“What is this like a fire escape?” I ask slowly, confused and suspicious.

“Yeah, and also a sick pathway to the roof. Climb up.” He says with a smile.

“Um I don’t know if I should listen to a strange scary man demanding me to climb up a tall ladder to a roof.” I joke, slightly nervous about how high up it went.

“Oh yes of course, I’m terrifying” He chuckles with a toothy grin. “Come on you can trust me! I’m having you go first so I can catch you if you fall.”

“If I fall? Is that like.... a likely possibility?” I asked with a laugh.

“You’re safe I promise!”

“Ok fine, I trust you.” I say warningly, as if he would regret breaking it.

He smiles and whoops encouragingly as I grab onto the burnt auburn colored metal, the smooth texture slightly dusty under my fingers. I start climbing up, carefully watching my hands and feet, making sure they aligned perfectly with the bars. I glance down once I’m about halfway up, fully looking down worriedly when I see how far up I am from the ground.

“I got you!” Josh shouts, reassuring me. I let out an anxious breath and continued making my way up, a wave of relief washing over me when I finally made it to the top of the smooth roof, letting out a soft gasp at the full view of the city, the lights twinkling like stars in a night sky. I sit down criss cross, watching Josh make his way up, with much more confidence than I had.

“Wow you did that a whole lot faster than I did.” I say with a smile, and he shakes his head.

“I come up here all the time I’m just used to it; it was your first time climbing up!”

“And it was terrifying.” I say with a breathy laugh.

“But look at this view though, wasn’t that worth it?” He asks with a smile, scotching closer to me and I nod.

“So worth it, this is fucking beautiful.” I say, looking forward as I admire the lights. “This is just like the old days.” I say appreciatively, reflecting on me and Josh’s rooftop conversations back in Columbus. I rented a small two-story house with a few of my friends and my room was on the second floor, my window having easy access to the roof. When he’d come over, the two of us would often sit up there to just talk, watch the sunsets, stargaze, or when I needed a smoke break, which was a habit he often scolded.

He chuckles at my comment. “Totally, except this is a pretty drastic upgrade.” He says, motioning towards the city of Los Angeles, our view being tall buildings and twinkling lights instead of a top view of my neighbor's houses.

I giggle and nod. “Yeah, it’s a nice change to not feel like a stalker looking at the roofs of random people’s houses.” I say, rummaging through my mini backpack laying at my side for my cigarette case I remembered I had in there, along with a lighter. I open the case, placing one between my lips and lighting it, cupping the flame with my hand. Josh looks over at me with his head rested against the arm on his knee.

“You still doing that?” he asks as I inhale, blowing out the cloud of gray smoke.

“Only sometimes now. When I’m out with people or when I’m stressed...” I say, looking down at my feet as I take another puff.

“What’s been happening (Y/n)?” he asks softly, a genuine concern in his voice. “I can tell you’re upset, and you sounded really sad on the phone.” He points out.

I exhale, preparing myself to talk. “I’ve just been struggling recently honestly. I’m just… not happy with where I am at all.” I say, my voice slightly breaking I as I process my own words.

He looks at me, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He reaches his hand out to mine, squeezing it softly, a reassuring motivation for me to continue.

“Things with Logan have just been crazy recently. His anger issues have just been getting bad. I’ve always known that that was an issue for him but, just seeing him hit you like that.” I say emotionally and he nods slowly. The purple bruise on his eye had started to fade but it was still noticeable. “And that same day when we argued afterwards, he got upset and he... threw a glass on the floor it was scary honestly.” I say with uncertainty, taking another drag of my cigarette.

“He threw something?” Josh asks, raising his eyebrows in concern.

“Yeah...”

“At you?”

“No, it wasn’t at me but...” I say, attempting to defend Logan but he shakes his head.

“That’s not ok at all. That’s a threatening action and you should never have to feel like you’re in danger with the person you love.” He explains worriedly and I nod sadly, looking off into the distance. “You know you don’t have to put up with this, right…?” He asks slowly and I nod.

“I know but… I love him.” I say softly and Josh nods solemnly, a silence lingering between us momentarily. “He regrets what he did, he apologized. It won’t happen again but even knowing that… I’m still mad at him honestly.” I say with a sigh.

“You aren’t wrong to feel that way, you should be.”

“Yeah. I love him but I’m just… not happy with him right now. It’s hard to be around him now.”

“Look. It’s not my place to tell you what to do with your relationship. But I just want to remind you that built up anger over time almost always leads to resentment in relationships. I feel awful for saying this but… I kind of hated Sophia at the end of our relationship. I had all this anger from the things she did to me, and I just never forgave her for them. It’s just hard to make things work out if your partner does something you consider unforgivable because you’ll always hold that anger inside you.” He explains.

“Yeah. You’re right. I do resent him a little.” I admit quietly, wiping tears forming in my eyes. He nods understandingly in silence, holding my shoulder comfortingly.

I sigh heavily, laying back to look up at the stars dotted throughout the sky, Josh doing the same. It was no view compared to our nights stargazing in Columbus due to the light pollution here, but it was still pretty. I stare at the dark, vast expanse of the sky, the twinkling stars dotted across like little holes of light in the dark blanket. Whenever I looked up at the sky like this, it reminded me how small I was compared to the rest of the universe, along with how much more there was out there in the world.

“I feel like there’s so much more to life that I’m missing out on.” I admit suddenly, looking over at Josh and he meets my gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“I feel stuck. I’m living such a dull and depressing life right now I just… feel like I could be doing so much more. I’m tired of everything, I just wanna run away.” I laugh, slightly exasperated by my thoughts.

“Why don’t you then?” he asks, holding my gaze.

I laugh sadly. “Work, money, needing to survive...” I say, putting the ciggerate out on the concrete of the shingles next to me.

“What if you just left all that shit behind for a while?”

“Trust me I’d love to. But how?” I ask, my hands folded over my stomach.

He twiddles his thumbs anxiously, looking up at the sky as if mentally preparing himself. He turns back to me, his eyes full of hope. “Come with me.”

“What?” I ask, my eyes brows furrowing in confusion.

“Come with me… on tour.” He suggested nervously and my lips slightly parted in shock.

“Are you serious?” I ask and he sits up, me doing the same.

“Yeah, I am. Me and Tyler need another photographer, and your work is stunning. We love your style, I mean we always have. Tyler and I talked about the idea a little bit on call today actually and… we’d really like to bring you on as our photographer for this leg of the tour if you’d be willing to?”

I laugh in disbelief. “I-I’d love to...” I say, running my hand through my hair, my happiness quickly vanishing when I came to the realization that it was completely unrealistic. “But... I can’t.” I sigh and Josh frowns.

“I know it’s last minute but...”

“No, it’s not that.” I interrupted him. “I’m getting married in a few months... I can’t just up and leave. Plus, I can’t even imagine how Logan would react.” I say, thinking about his extreme jealousy over Josh.

“Is that the only thing preventing you from saying yes?”

“Yeah...”

“(Y/n).” He says gently, looking at me with care. “Of course, your partner should be important to you in decisions like this, but he shouldn't be a factor holding you back from something you’ve been dreaming of doing. I know how long you’ve wanted to be a photographer for. I know this is what you believed your future was going to be. Why not make it true? You can always get married later; you have time to move the date. Fulfilling your goals and dreams should be your priority right now, especially if you aren’t exactly happy in your situation.” He reasons softly.

I process his words. He wasn’t wrong. This has always been a passion of mine, and honestly with the boy's rising success during the time I was still working with them, I did believe my future would involve them. It felt fated that I worked for them again in a way. Logan would be the single only factor holding me back from pursuing this, and with the fact that it’s something I genuinely want to do, that shouldn’t be the case. He should understand and support me. I knew that his immediate instinct would most likely not be to do that, but if we had a conversation about this maybe, just maybe he would understand. It was starting to become clear that we do need some space from each other regardless.

“Yeah... ok. Fuck it.” I say with a laugh, not even believing that I was agreeing, and Josh laughs too.

“Really?” he asks excitedly.

“Yes, oh my gosh.” I say, leaning forward and taking Josh into a hug, him chuckling as he hugged me back. “Josh. Thank you so much, this is such a huge opportunity.” I say genuinely as I pull back.

“Of course, you really do deserve it. Tyler and I are beyond thrilled to bring you back on, we missed you.” He says with a smile.

“I missed you guys too.” I say softly, looking off into the distance at the view. The air held a lightness, and an excitement for what was to come. Both were feelings that I hadn't felt in a long time. We sit in comfortable silence, both of us watching the world move below us in our moment of stillness.

[ret1cent]

chapter 5 to the space between will be out soon! i’ve been taking a little longer releasing chapters recently because i’m actually starting to make them longer, so i hope you guys are cool with that :)

[ret1cent]

the space between (pt.4)

josh dun x fem reader

WC:6,000+

“this is our decision to live fast and die young, we’ve got the vision, now let's have some fun”

warnings: convos about unhappy/toxic relationship, language, cute chapter for the most part tho not too much emo-ness,

a/n: reminder that this is based in 2016 so some of the language and fashion will reflect that loll 😭 and the burn is burning slow the two of you have like agent scully and mulder level chemistry rn... also a lot of this chapter is inspired by the arcade scene in dinner in america i luv that sceneee you should watch the movie if you haven’t before

previous chapters

May 20th, 2016. 

Josh and I had driven back to his place, after I ultimately decided that I couldn’t stay the night with Logan. But I knew it would be bad to sleep at Josh’s with the etiquette of my engagement, despite Josh’s many offers for me to just stay in his guest room. I had ended up calling up Kass, guilty of putting the stress of company on her at the last minute, but she seemed delighted to help me out. Now, I was sitting across from her on her large maroon cushioned couch, nursing a glass of wine.  

“So, you’re telling me he just went quiet and threw the glass on the floor without a word?” Kass asks, her eyes widened as I reflected on the events of the day with her.  

“Yeah, it was scary. It was like this silent anger that led into him finally just... bursting.” I say as I draw shapes with my fingers on the cushion of the couch.  

“(Y/n)… this isn’t normal. There’s something going on with him.” she said, looking at me with worried eyes. “This doesn’t sound safe.” 

“I-I know...” I say looking away, staring at the colorful painting hung on her wall. “He’s always been a little quick to anger.”  

She puts a hand on my knee, and I look back at her. “You know you can get yourself out of this situation… right?” she asks, her green eyes shining with concern as she tilts her head to the side. 

I pause, taken aback. “Yeah, of course...” I say, not even believing the tone of my own voice. “But it’s fine… I’ll have a conversation with him about this. It’s not the first time he’s acted irrationally in an argument; he’s changed before.”  

“It’s the fact that you have to get him to change though.” She reasons with me, and I look down, resting my head against my chin.  

“I… I know. He isn’t perfect at all. But I chose him, and I love him. We’re getting married in a few months, I can’t just back out of this. I have to be grown. I have to follow through with the decisions I’ve made. Our families are expecting it.” 

“Wouldn’t they understand though… At least your family? If you backed out of this if they knew it wasn’t serving you right?” she asks softly.  

I go silent. I had no idea how they’d react quite frankly. My mom and stepdad were quite traditional, though unspoken, it was clear they had been waiting for me to get engaged. They believed I was at the age where I should be starting to settle down with someone, start a family even. My mom was not quiet about her desire for grandchildren. Her using the plural of that phrase always freaked me out, even one kid seemed like too much to me.  

“I don’t know.” I finally say, a genuine uncertainty in my voice.  

Kass looks at me with sympathy, her orange hair glowing like a warm fire under the tall seat next to the couch. “So, how’d things go with Josh today?” She changes the subject, taking a sip from her glass. 

“God, it was great.” I say, leaning my head against the couch with a smile. I had already given her his explanation of forgiveness, but not the details of our hangout after. “He took me back to his place which was amazing by the way, it was huge and modern looking it was really cool. But I helped him clean up some of his scrapes…” I say, rubbing my neck uncomfortably as I reflect on the fact that they were Logan’s fault. “And then we went out to get dinner after and just had more of a conversation about why him and Sophia broke up which I explained some of to you. After that on the ride home we were just like yelling to some of our old favorite songs it was nice… Freeing almost.” I say with a soft, appreciative laugh.  

Kass raises and eyebrow and I pause in concern. “What?” I question her expression.  

“He’s taking you back to his place and you guys are getting dinner after…?” She starts and I quickly catch on to what she was trying to insinuate.  

“Oh no no, it’s not like that.” I quickly defended the situation, shaking my head.  

“Maybe for you… Does he know you’re engaged?”  

“No, he doesn’t like me like that and…” I pause, reflecting on her question. Actually, he didn’t. Unless he spotted my ring and didn’t say anything. But the moment that Logan got home when Josh was at my doorstep, I almost felt the need to hide it from him. To hide the fact that I was engaged to someone like Logan. I had only referred to him as my boyfriend. “I… I don’t think so actually.” I admit honestly, surprised by my own actions.  

She snorts. “Wait so how’d you explain Logan to him? Hey, this random dude might beat you up so you should get out of here… Yeah, he kind of just roams the street sometimes, beats up dudes he doesn’t like the vibe of.” She jokes and I laugh, rolling my eyes.  

“No, I think I just called him my boyfriend. Slip of the tongue.” I say and she starts giving me a suspicious look again. “What!” I whine, confused by her pestering about me and Josh’s friendship.

“You didn’t want to tell him, did you?” She interrogates me, resting her cheek against her palm, balancing her wine glass on her knee as she looks at me.  

“I mean no I wasn’t thrilled to announce my engagement to a man who I knew was about to give him shit…”  

“Come onnn you know that’s not what I mean.” She says. 

“Kass!” I laugh. “We’re just friends.”  

“Okkkay whatever you say…” She says, clearly not convinced. "But you have to admit he’s a good-looking man.”  

“Well yeah…”  

“I GOT YOUR ASS!” She shouts and I laugh, slapping her leg. 

I knew I wouldn’t be able to convince her, but I also knew me and Josh were just friends, anyone could admit their friend was good looking without it being weird.  

Me and her keep giggling, then she looks at me and smiles. “Why don’t we do this more often?” she asks genuinely.  

“I don’t know honestly…” I reply, slightly saddened. Maybe it was my own fault for falling into a mundane routine where I felt unsatisfied with life. All I did was work and come home, and I always felt the need to keep Logan company. But I never stopped to think that I had lost the sense of having my own life. I hung out with Kass outside of work, sure. But it was typically only every other week or so. There was something oddly comforting about sitting on her couch in my pajamas just talking to her again. I think I forgot that moments like this didn’t only have to exist inside adolescence.   

“Well, we need to do this more ok?” she asks, playfully nudging my knee.  

“I’d love to, this is healing honestly... But you leave in like two weeks.” I groan, mortified by the idea of not having a close friend here.  

“Well, if you and Josh are cool again...” She suggested and I quickly shake my head.  

“Kass, you know I can’t, plus he hasn’t even invited me.”  

“If you showed him some of your new work, I’m sure he and Tyler would be ecstatic to have you on. I heard through the grapevine they need an extra photographer...” She says and I can’t help but feel a small surge of excitement, but it quickly diminishes as I remember how unrealistic it was.  

“I can’t just leave like that though; I’m getting married in a few months I can’t be halfway across the world...”  

“What if Logan wasn’t part of the picture?” she asks quickly. “Would you say yes then?”  

“Well... of course.”  

“See! This is something you genuinely want to do. You can’t let him hold you back like this, I know you and I know you aren’t happy with the life you’re living right now. Photography has always been your dream. You can always get married later.” She pleads softly.  

I sigh quietly. “Logan would be so upset. And I can’t imagine how my family would react.” I say, my voice thick with sadness.  

She lets up on trying to convince me, softly stroking the back of my hair. She then looks at the clock on the wall, it reading 2:45 AM. “Alright, it’s getting late so I think I’m gonna go to bed, you should too.” She says, patting my shoulder before she gets up. “You ok in the guest room?” 

“Yes of course, thank you so much again.”  

“Hey anytime girl, I’ll be expecting more sleepovers.” She says and we both giggle softly before she leaves for her bedroom.  

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

May 21st, 2016. 

The next morning Kass had morning plans. She apologized endlessly for it, but I had insisted it was fine, my company had been very last minute. I laid in bed, scrolling on my phone and sipping Coffee from one of Kass’s mugs until I got a text notification. I opened it to see it was from Josh.  

Josh:Hey! I assume this is still your number, it’s been a while obviously lmao. But if this is the right number and you aren’t a random stranger I was wondering if you wanted to hang later?  

I laugh softly, typing back a reply.  

uhhh who dis?  

Josh: oh shit sorry, I thought this my friend's number.  

He replied quickly and I giggled.  

jk it’s me sorry that was mean  

Josh: you’re evil I was so embarrassed 

 Josh: wait... how do i know it’s you… i haven’t even clarified who I’m trying to talk to

I send a picture of myself flipping off the camera in response.  

Josh:charming! But how do I know someone didn’t get that picture of you or that you aren’t being held hostage...  

OK now you’re just being ridiculous  

Josh: lmao ok fineeee i’ll stop

what did you want to do later? I’m down to hang  

Josh:ok i was thinking santa monica pier? rides, games and stuff? we haven’t really been able to do anything around LA together yet! 

yeah! that sounds hella fun.  

Josh: yayyy i’ll pick you up, is 6:00 ok?  

sounds awesome. i’m still at kass’s so you can just pick me up here.  

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

I spent the rest of the morning lounging around Kass’s place until she got back, and the two of us had decided to spend the afternoon at the mall. I lean against the escalator as we go up, the environment around us bustling with activity, the air cool and unintelligible music playing from the speakers.  

“So, you and Josh are hanging out tonight?”  

“Yeah, we’re going to Santa Monica Pier, should be fun.” I say with a smile, looking off at the different stores in the distance.  

“We should get you a cute outfit here!” She suggests excitedly.  

“I don’t need a new outfit for this we’re just hanging out!” I say with a laugh. “Plus, if it’s ok with you I was wondering if we could stop by my place really quick after this, I need to grab some clothes and toiletries, I also wanna bring my camera for tonight. Don’t worry I'll check in at a hotel tonight.” 

“Babe no you know you can always stay at my place you’re not an inconvenience to me in any way. And of course we can, you not ready to go home yet?” she asks gently as we walk.  

“No… I don’t think so.”  

“Has Logan tried to contact you?”  

“He has but his messages have been all over the place it’s been ranging from him telling me I’m a ‘traitor’ and that I'm probably ‘off fucking Josh’ but then sending paragraphs about how sorry he is and sending voice messages of himself in tears…”  

“Wow yikes.” Kass says, looking at me in shock. “There is something wrong with that man.”  

“Truly.” I say, running a hand through my hair. “This is nothing new he has episodes like this constantly. I wish he’d just listen to me and go to therapy.”  

“His mental health doesn’t excuse any of his actions against you though. There’s a difference between struggling and just not being a good partner. The way he talks to you… it just doesn’t seem like he respects you.” She says, sipping on the lemonade she still had from our lunch earlier.  

“Yeah, you’re right.” I say honestly, fidgeting with my hands uncomfortably. It was hard to have someone so close to me not like my fiancée. Of course, her distaste for him was fully justified. I wasn’t particularly fond of him at the moment either. But it just makes me worry that I’m being perceived as someone who can’t stand up for themselves, as someone who accepts the bare minimum and lower. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized those fears reigned true.  

Kass looks at me, reading my expression immediately. “Hey.” she says, looking at me and linking my arm with hers. “I’m not trying to put you or him down. I’m just worried, that’s all. You’re my best friend. I just get into mama bird mode over you sometimes.” She says and I giggle.  

“No, I understand, you’ve been right with everything you’re saying. I’m glad you care.”  

“I always will.” She says with a smile. “Ooo look do you wanna go into Urban?” she asks, pointing at the large Urban Outfitters we were approaching.  

‘’Yesss of course.” I agreed. Their stuff was always pricey, but undeniably cute.  

“We’ll get you something for tonight!” She insists.  

“So, we’re back on this.” I say with a smile and roll of my eyes as we walk in the store. “But fine, not because I need to look good for him but because the Insta pics will be cute that way.”  

“Hey, we’re all entitled to our own interpretations!” She defends.  

“Wow you are shipping us hard!” I joke, flipping through the racks.  

“I can’t help it you guys would be so cute! Considering the history and everything too it would be like a movie or something.” 

“Well keep dreaming!” I say playfully and she boos in retaliation.  

“Wait this is kinda cute...” I say, picking up a light purple holographic tank.  

“Ok we have the base for the outfit I know where to go from here.” Kass says, dragging me to the jackets.  

“Wow ok you little fashionista!”  

She ended up picking out distressed denim overall shorts, fishnets and chokers that matched the color tones of the tank. I intended to pay for everything myself, but she insisted that she at least bought the accessories for me.  

“Ugh you’re too sweet.” I say as she hands me the smaller bag as we walk out. 

“Hey anything for my girl, you need to have a cute fit! How else is my favorite ship gonna become real? “ 

“Ok I'm gonna smack you now.”  

Me and Kass ended up stopping by at my place after the mall when we saw that Logan’s car wasn’t there, meaning he was out. What he was out doing I wasn’t sure, and I honestly didn’t want to know. I had grabbed outfits to sustain me for at least the next 3 days, toiletries and my camera so I could take some pictures at the pier. When we got back to Kass’s house, we lounged around watching movies for the rest of the day until the evening until I had to get ready for Josh to pick me up. I finished changing and doing my makeup and I walked back out to the living room, Kass awing.  

“You look so pretty! Let me take a picture.” She says, pulling out her phone like a mom.  

“Noo!” I say, covering my face while she tries to take the picture.  

“Ugh you’re all about being behind the camera but why not being in front of it sometimes you’re a cutie!” 

“It’s just not my thing! I like being the capturer not the capture-ee!” I whine, plopping onto the couch next to her. My phone buzzes in my hand, I look down at it, seeing the notification was from Josh.  

Josh:Yooo I’m here parked right out front 

“Oh, he’s here! I’ll see you later bae.” I say as I quickly get up, leaning down to give her a quick hug.  

“Bye, have fun!” She says as I walk away. “Not too much fun...” She adds suggestively.  

“I assure you we’ll have just the appropriate amount of fun.” I say jokingly, looking over at her as I slide on my Adidas. I gave her my last goodbyes and walked out towards the car, waving to Josh who was looking through the window, him waving back with a wide smile.  

“Hey!” I say as I open the car door, giving him a quick hug after I sat down. Today he was wearing a black snapback, a faded band tee and camo jacket, along with black ripped skinny jeans. Unfortunately, the bruise on his eye was still very noticeable, my stomach swirling with guilt at the sight.  

“Wassup stranger!” He replies, jokingly referring to our text exchange earlier in the day. 

“What if I really was kidnapped and someone was pretending to be me so they could hang with you?”  

“Well, I’d be flattered someone put in that much effort to hang with me and then we’d leave you behind and go to the pier, duh.” He says and I gasp.  

“Woww you’re fake!” I shout, smacking his arm before he starts to drive, him snickering. 

“Sorry I’m a first come first serve kinda guy.” He jokes with a shrug.  

Our drive looked like our earlier ones, windows down and music blasting. It made me happy to feel like we had a little tradition again. The sun sat lower in the sky as we got closer to the ocean. I hum to the tune of 3005 by Childish Gambino on the radio, watching my hand out the window flow with the wind rushing past. The cool wind offered relief from the heat of the summer day.  

Once we get there, we find parking in the lot of the pier and I hop out, taking in the salty breeze of the ocean air, mixed with the faint sweet smell of cotton candy and funnel cake in the distance. I get out of the car and stretch, then pull my camera out and snap a picture of the pier. Josh smiles, squinting and shielding his forehead from the sun with his hand. “You’re still taking pictures?” he asks, pointing at the camera. 

“Yeah, not as much anymore, but I like to when I get the chance.” I say looking at him with a small smile.  

“I’m glad. You were always really good at that kinda stuff.” he says, locking his car as we start to walk towards the boardwalk.  

“You think?” 

“I know, dude. You and Mark really carried us through the start of our career with all your work. I’ve always appreciated the uniqueness of your shots. It really helped create the image for us that we have now.”  

“Aw, thanks dude.” I say sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck.  

“Of course. I like the fit by the way, very spacey Tumblr vibes.”  

 I laugh at his description. “Thanks! I think that’s what I was going for I just didn’t specially label it as spacey Tumblr vibes.” I say with a chuckle, quickly stopping to snap another picture of the ocean. “You’re full of compliments today.” I point out gratefully.  

“Hey, it’s a nice day out! I’m in a good mood.” He says with a chuckle, admiring the view of the ocean as we approach the rides. He suddenly gasps in excitement. “Let’s go on the dragon!” He exclaims, pointing at the huge green mechanical dragon that swung back and forth in the air over the ocean and boardwalk like a large seesaw in the air.  

“Um do you wanna die?” I asked with a scoff.  

“Yes, die of fun! Let’s go!” He giggles, his cotton candy hair lightly blowing from under his hat in the wind as he grabs my hand, taking me hostage.    

“Helppp I don’t know him!” I say, slightly raising my voice, getting a few stares from people surrounded nearby.  

“(Y/n) stop!” He laughs, covering my mouth with his other hand, his fingers warm over my lips.  

“Yeah, covering my mouth isn’t gonna help in the situation where people think you’re kidnaping me!” I say, my voice slightly muffled by his hand.  

He smiles and pulls his hand away from my mouth with a roll of his eyes. “Ok smart ass.”  

“Hey, I’m not the one trying to kidnap women!”  

“Stop!” He groans. “The people around us are gonna think I’m some kind of supervillain.” He says as he pulls me in line for the ride. Once he lets go of my hand, I immediately try to escape but he sees this and picks me up right away. His strong arms held me by my waist, holding me up like it was nothing. Damn, since when was he so strong? The couple standing behind us in line giggle at the sight.  

“You are going on this ride whether you like it or not!” Josh replies, us cackling as he restrains me.  

“Ok fine fine, but if we die, I’m so kicking your ass!” I threaten and he laughs.  

“Well, I’ll consider myself warned.” He says as he lets me down.  

I stand next to him, anxiously tapping my foot on the ground in anticipation. To my horror, it was finally our turn to get on. Josh attached his snapback to the belt loop of his jeans so it wouldn’t fly off. I follow him to the seats, making sure I was straight in the middle. The person running the ride helps us get the bar down, I look over at Josh as he holds onto it, looking slightly nervous.  

“Ok I’m a little scared.” Josh admits looking over at me with a smile and I smack his arm.  

“You were the one who made us get on this! You were the confident one you were holding us up!” I say and he laughs, quickly interrupted when the ride started moving.  

“Fuck!” I yell, holding quickly grasping onto his arm.  

He chuckles at this. “We aren’t even all the way up yet!” He jokes, but his voice shakes slightly.  

“Stop being scared too you’re making me more scared! You aren't allowed to be scared!” I shouted over the rush of wind as we swung forward. “Oh my god no no no!” I yell as the ride swings backwards, feeling a sudden weightlessness, almost feeling like I was going to fly out of my seat. I move closer to Josh, clinging onto him harder, the warmth of his body oddly comforting in this trying time.  

“Why did I think this was a good idea?” He asks, his voice raised.  

“I don’t know I’m beating you up when we get off though! If we even, make it off...” I say anxiously, looking at the ocean beneath us as we swung the opposite direction.  

“Don’t say that!”  

“Well look at all of that beneath us!” I say, frantically motioning at the water.  

Our fear did not let up for the rest of the ride, but somehow the shared suffering was bonding. After, I step off, slightly wobbling. I hunch over, weakly punching Josh in the arm like I promised. “I’m never agreeing to any of your shenanigans ever again.”  

“Dude, I agree. I can’t even listen to myself I don’t know what I was thinking…” he says, dragging his hand down his face. He then looks off into the distance, pointing at something I couldn't see.  

“Would I be forgiven if I got us snacks?” He asks and I go silent. 

Needless to say, he was quickly forgiven as we sat at a wooden bench under the sun, munching on snacks from one of the stands. I sip on my cherry slushy, quickly stopping him with my hand as he was about to take a bite of his cotton candy. “Wait!”  

“Uh, what?” He laughs.  

I pull my camera out of my bag, squinting to look at him through the lens. “Your hair matches the color it it’s a cute photo op!” I say and he chuckles. I quickly snapped a candid shot of him laughing while holding it, focusing on him and the ocean behind him. “Ok now pose!” I order and he squints his eyes, sticking his tongue out. I roll my eyes at this, then take another one of him holding the cotton candy by his hair, looking up at it longingly.  

“Ok you can eat it now.” I say playfully, putting the camera away. He bites into it happily, quickly chewing and swallowing. “Ok now give me your camera you need one with yours.” he demands, holding his hand out.  

I reluctantly handed it over. “Mines blue it doesn't even match with me! I don’t have cool hair like you!” 

“Hush you’ve always been weird about pictures I know you’re deflecting.” He says, looking at me through the camera. I flip him off, screw him for knowing me so well.  

“Stop it!” He says, annoyed like the mother of a moody teenager who was reluctant to take family photos. “Pose!”  

I groan dramatically, then look at the camera with a smile, slightly tilting my head towards the treat in my hand.  

“Aww!” He says as I pose, earning him glare from me. “I got a picture of that too.” He teases me with a snicker, and I take the camera back from his hands. “Ok your camera privileges are revoked!” I exclaim, putting it back in my bag.  

“Aww man! I think that could’ve been the start of an amazing career for me.” He jokes. “Speaking of that we haven’t really had like that boring adult conversation yet? What do you do for work now?” he asks with a curious tilt of his head.  

“I’m a production assistant at Warner Brothers.” I admit with a slight smile.  

“Really? That’s super cool! I totally see that for you, but I’m also surprised you didn’t end up in photography I definitely expected that.” he says, looking off into the ocean.  

“Yeah…” I agree, a subtle sadness coating my voice. He seems to pick up on this, looking over at me again. “Wait... What’s your job again?” I jokingly ask, changing the subject and he chuckles.  

“You won’t believe what I’m about to tell you.” He laughs, looking up at the sky. “Hey, why don’t we go play some games?” He suggests looking back at me. “I don’t think I’m ready to go on any rides yet nor do I think it would be a good idea.” He chuckles, nodding his head at the snacks we had just consumed.  

“Yeah, sounds sick!” I say, slightly perking up with a smile.  

The two of us make our way further down the boardwalk, making it to the row of games. The sun had now set lower, hints of pink starting to appear on the edges of the sky. Familiar tunes play from the speakers as we look around. He suddenly gasps and I turn quickly to see what he was reacting to, and see him pointing to a row of green, pink, blue and purple blown-up plastic aliens. “Oh, I need one.” He says dramatically and I giggle.  

“What, are you trying to subtly hint that you want me to win it for you?” 

“I don’t know do you think you can do it?” he asks, pointing at the game of darts, the game attendant looking off into the distance in boredom.  

“Hell yeah dude! How do you think I got pictures of you and Tyler during your older shows with my shitty handheld camera? I have a steady hand!” I say, reflecting on the experience of having to take focused balanced pictures of the boys while being ran into by drunk 20-year-olds trying to mosh. 

“Totally true.” He says with a chuckle. “Let’s see it.” He says, paying for the game for me. I thanked him and the attendant handed me 5 darts, explaining that I had to hit all 5 balloons to get the bigger prizes, Josh’s alien being one of them.  

I squint as I focus on the red balloons, them softly blowing in the wind. I line the dart up with the first balloon and hold my breath before I throw it, satisfied when I hear the loud pop. Josh cheers and I aim at the second balloon, successfully popping it.  

“Damn girl you’ve got aim!” Josh exclaims and I giggle. I successfully pop the other two and get to the last one.  

“I’m scared!” I say as I stare at the last balloon standing, almost feeling a menacing energy radiating from the inanimate object.  

“Why? You’ve been doing so well!”  

“If I fuck up now it’s all over!” I say with a dramatic groan, and he chuckles.  

“You really underestimate yourself. Now be a badass and finish off that last balloon!” Josh says encouragingly. I focus on the shiny red figure, a nerve-wracking anticipation swirling in my stomach as I aim and throw the dart hard. I whoop loudly when it hits the balloon and Josh smiles. 

“See I told you you can do it.”  

The attendant asks what prize I want, and I step back, motioning to Josh for him to pick. I took my camera out and snapped a picture of him looking up at the hanging candy-colored aliens, a thumb laid against his chin in focus, the colorful lights of the rides shining in the background as the sun had started to set more. I snap another of him pointing at his choice and then him holding the pink alien, looking at me with a toothy smile.  

I giggle, putting my camera around my neck. “You happy?”  

“Yes, so happy, thank you (Y/nnnn)!” He drags out in a girly voice and a giggle, as if he was my girlfriend and I was his big strong boyfriend who just won him a prize.  

“Shut the fuck up.” I say with a smile and roll my eyes.  

“That was like so totally manly.” He continues, curling his imaginary long hair around his finger.  

“Dude I’m gonna take that thing away from you if you don’t stop...” I threaten, pointing to his alien.  

“That’s so messed up... You’re trying to kidnap my biological son.” He claims, pointing at the alien's pink skin then his pink hair.  

“Wow alien genetics are hella weird. What’s his name?”  

Josh looks away in thought, biting the inside of his cheek. “Mulder!” He decides proudly.  

“Uh what kind of name is that?” I laugh.  

He gasps. “You’re so uncultured it’s from the X-Files! Oh, you’re so gonna watch it with me now.” He demands. 

“Hey I’m down! I’ve always wanted to, you’ve always raved about that show. Here let me get some pictures of you and your son.” I say and he props the alien's legs on his shoulders and holds onto it by its knees like an actual kid. We both laugh as I snap a picture. He poses the alien to where it was next to him and had its arm around Josh’s shoulder, him leaning towards it with a big smile. “Aw what a happy family.”  

“I’m starting to get emotionally attached to him.” Josh admits, keeping his plastic friend close to his chest. I smiled, opening my mouth when I was about to reply but look up with a gasp, hearing the intro to Kids by MGMT start to play on the speakers of the boardwalk.  

“Shit this is my song!” I say, bopping my head along to the beat as we walk through the bustling boardwalk. He chuckles as I slightly spin while walking, doing a subtle dance. I giggle as Josh takes my hand and fully spins me around, him quietly singing along to the intro of the song.   

“Oh, more games, shall we?” he asks suddenly, motioning to the row of games we had gotten to.  

“Hell yeah!”

The sun sat as we hit each of the booths, laughing as we tried to sabotage each other’s games when up against each other. He continued to be my hype man when I went solo trying to win a game and I did the same for him. Especially when he returned the favor of winning me a prize in a game of ring toss, which was a large soft giraffe with a long neck which I had decided I needed to have. I cheered, shaking his shoulder excitedly before taking the big soft toy into my arms. We finally decided to go on rides again, starting with the roller coaster that went over the pacific coastline, which we both had to hype ourselves up to go on.  

“Hubert you gotta stay right with me alright?” I asked the giraffe in my lap who was tightly restrained by the metal bar, it of course sitting unresponsive.  

“I can’t believe you mocked my alien’s name, but you named your dude Hubert.” Josh complains, holding onto his alien who also sat in his lap.  

“It matches his kind, caring soul, ok? So judgmental.” I scoff.  

“Hey, it’s a two-way street you were mean to Mulder!”  

Our tiff was quickly interrupted when the coaster slowly rumbled to life, starting to inch its way forward. 

“Why did we do this this is worse than the sea dragon!” I say, already gripping the bar tightly.  

“It doesn’t look that high! It can’t be that bad, you gotta live a little dude, YOLO.” He says like a surfer dude, and I giggle, but my laughter quickly quiets when I see the drop we were about to face.  

“No!” I shouted before the coaster quickly rushed down, swooping along the track. Josh and I yell during the descent, but our screams slowly turn into laughter as we feel the rush of the wind, the mist of the ocean against our faces, the colorful lights bellow glimmering like a rainbow in the night. He puts his hands up and I hesitantly copy his actions, enjoying the extra rush added to the feeling of the speeding cart. He whoops and I giggle, but then look over concerned to see Mulder slightly raised from the seat, his arms flailing in warning. “Josh grab him!” I shout and he yelps, quickly wrapping his arms around the alien protectively.  

“Almost gave me a heart attack!” Josh yells over the rush of the wind and I laugh. I too would be distraught to see my hard-earned work fly away.  

The coaster loops around and finally got back to ground level. I throw my head back with a winded laugh, him looking at me as he does the same.  

“Ok I have to admit that was fun.” I say with a smile as the bar rises and I step out.  

“See! I think we just started off wrong with the dragon honestly.” 

We stop at a few more calmer rides, then end the night with dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp. Not the finest of dining, but it was right at the pier and we were both in desperate need of an actual meal. Carnival snacks don’t tend to sustain you for very long. We shared a relaxed meal, catching up more under the warm lighting of the restaurant, our table overlooking the dark expanse ocean through the window. Once we finished up we headed back to the car, the exhaustion of the day finally starting to hit as my feet dragged along the asphalt. Once we both got in, I immediately reached for the heat. “Is it ok if I turn this on? It’s chilly out!” I complain, my hand resting on the knob as I waited for his response.  

“Yeah…” He starts but then looks at my hand before gently taking it. I look up in surprise but then seeing him observing the ring on my finger. Oh.  

“(Y/n), what’s this?” he asks, a slight smile teasing at his lips as he lets go.  

“Oh yeah… I’m engaged.” I say, almost feeling like I was being forced to admit something wrong.  

“You didn’t tell me that!” He says amused, a slight silence between us after he pauses. “When did this happen?” He asks curiously.  

“About seven months ago.” I say sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck.  

“Well… I’m happy for you.” He says with a smile, but a different emotion seemed to linger behind his words.   

“I’m sorry… I know he’s not the best,” I start, reflecting on how he lashed out on Josh, the evidence still clear from his bruised eye.  

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. We all... have our moments...” He explains hesitantly, rubbing his arm. I just- I hope you’re ok.” He admits. 

“What do you mean?”  

“I mean… just seeing you after the fight and everything it just seemed like something happened. We don’t have to talk about it now, but I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything. Ok?”  

“Ok. Thank you Josh.” I respond softly and he smiles.  

“Of course.” He says genuinely and backs up from the parking spot, starting the drive back to Kass’s to drop me off.  

Of course I felt like I could talk to Josh. It just felt weird after all this time to start laying my problems on him right away. And this day with him had been so nice, I didn’t want to tarnish it by ending it with a sad conversation. I look out the window, watching the tall buildings blur together as we enter onto the highway. My eyes start to feel heavy, the warmth of the heater, the softness of the music playing, and the comfort of josh’s presence putting me into a trance. I rest my head against my giraffe as I look out the window, slowly falling asleep.  

The sleep was light, and my dreams weren't notable, being nothing but a jumble of confusing indecipherable events. I was quickly brought out of the trance when I felt a light touch on my shoulder, slightly starling me awake.  

“Huh?”  

“We’re here.” He softly chuckles. “You need help getting to the door?” He asks, slightly teasing as he referred to my sleepy state.  

“Nooo, I’m good.” I say, stretching and rubbing my tired eyes, not looking forward to actually having to walk inside and get ready before I could sleep again.  

“Alright, well thank you for coming along with me today, that was really fun.” He says with a smile.  

“Of course, thank you for driving and planning that and everything! Let’s hang again soon pretty please, I need to see you more before you leave for tour.” I say, slightly saddened by the thought.  

“Of course. Just text me and let me know whenever you’re free. Bye!” 

“Byeee!” I say as I get out, holding Hubert closely to my side.  

“Hey (Y/n)?” Josh asks quickly when I was about to shut the door.  

“Yeah?” 

“I- never mind. Have a good night.” He says with a conflicted smile.  

“Oh ok, bye dude...” I say with a smile, slightly confused. I close the door and walk away, ready to crash for the night. I look back at Josh one last time once I unlock the door and step inside and he nods, driving off.  

[ret1cent]

hihi update for the space between, chapter 4 was supposed to be posted by yesterday but in the past few days i got sick and had a lot of schoolwork come up, it will be out by either this weekend or early next week though. i think i need to start giving myself more time between each chapter because it is a lot of work to come up with a premise for each chapter, write and then edit it <//3 bear with me guys!

[ret1cent]

:.:.i’vǝ bǝǝn hǝrǝ bǝførǝ:..:

[ret1cent]

on my mind

josh dun x fem reader

you wanted my heart but i just liked your tattoos poured it down, so i poured it down with you

and now i don’t understand why i got you on my mind?

warnings: smut, porn with a plot, smoking (weed), slight drinking, language, oral (fem receiving), face riding, penetration, josh is very much a giver in this, unprotected sex (be safe y’all don’t do that), slight praise kink, fluffy ending, proofread very lightly

WC: 7,000+

a/n: i wrote this very casually since i’m putting my energy into my main series right now, but i got this idea so i wanted to write it :) excuse any grammar or spelling errors it’s not proofread perfectly! this is the first smut i’ve written in a long time so just keep that in mind lol :p also i was young during this era of tumblr so excuse me if i get any terminology or vibes wrong lmao

summary: it’s 2014 and you’re tumblr famous. after he recently joined the platform, josh dun of twenty one pilots follows you. you aren’t quite sure who he is at first, with only slight knowledge about the band. but as you get to chat and know each other more he invites you to a show and to get a drink after, but it’s never just a drink is it?

i sit at my desk on call with my friend sam, the fairy lights strung across the wall and the glow of the computer screen being the only sources of light. i scroll through my tumblr as we chat, scrolling through some notifications and replying to a few notes.

i had somewhat of a reputation of the platform, some even referring to me as tumblr famous. i was well known on the more grunge side of things, posting aesthetic photography of record stores, ciggerates with edgy lryics on them, you get the gist. but i also occasionally posted pictures of myself, mostly to show off cute outfits or new hair colors, but i was pretty insecure about posting myself. the reason i had been on the phone with sam was actually because she had spurred me on to post a slightly suggestive picture of myself and i needed mental support. it was of me in a small tank, a black skater skirt with black matching thigh highs and chokers adorned on my neck as i lay on my side in my bed. in it my face rested against my hand, my thumb resting against my parted lips. i had edited an array of emoji around me that matched the color tones of the photo in a satisfying way.

the post had done numbers, but now i unfortunately had to deal with the anxiety of being this widely perceived.

“ughh why did i post it.” i groan, burying my face in my hands.

“dude stop you look so hot!” sam defends the photo. “people are loving it, you have no reason to worry.” she soothes me.

sam was somewhat of a life coach when it came to my insecurities and about posting myself like this. she often was the only reason i posted pictures i had been planning to keep to myself, she was my number one hype man and i was beyond grateful to have her in my life. i just didn’t fully appreciate that aspect of her right in the moment of clarity after a post starts getting attention.

i scroll through my notifications, not fully paying attention until i saw i had gotten a new follower a few days ago. that itself wasn’t an abnormal occurrence, i just felt strangely drawn to the profile. i scroll down and see this person had liked multiple of my posts before following, and had just liked my recent one. i glance at the username, it reading stillstreet. i click on the profile and look at the users profile picture. huh, he was kind of cute… he didn’t have his name on his blog though, just an x files reference. that’s nerdy, i like it. he had a lot of followers, maybe he was famous for something?

i skim through his posts and reblogs, he seemed sweet and had a sense of humor that reminded me of my own. when i looked further i saw pictures posted of him at the drums playing shows. so he was an artist?

“hey sam, do you know a blog called stillstreet?” i ask curiously.

“uh yeah durr, that’s josh dun!” she says, as if it was an obvious fact.

“who?”

“OH MY GOD i’ve talked about him before!” she complains.

“sam you talk about a minimum of 50 dudes you think are hot a day, i lose track sometimes.” i defend myself and she goes silent.

“ok i honestly can’t argue with that but he’s from twenty one pilots! don’t you know them?”

oh yeah, i knew some of their songs. i heard car radio on playing on the alt rock station often and had a few of their songs liked. people on tumblr also posted about them quite a bit, i just never paid attention enough to know the people behind the band.

“oh that’s who he is?” i ask, shocked. “he just followed me.” i say in confusion, squinting as i went through more of his posts.

“ok haha very funny, i see what you were trying to do now.” sam says unamused, as if she just uncovered some prank i was pulling on her,

“i’m not lying!”

“prove it!” sam says and i turn my camera to my laptop, going to my notfications and scrolling down the one stating that he had followed me.

“OH MY GOD!” sam shouts and i cover my ears, my volume was set all the way up due to her voice being quiet before, as i didn’t expect her to be yelling at any point.

“sam my ears!”

“you have to do something about this oh my god.” she says in disbelief, ignoring my complaint.

“what do you mean ‘do something’, all he did was follow me!” i say with a laugh.

“you don’t know that, you never check your messages!” she argues. that was true, i typically tried to avoid it, as they tended to be a cesspool sometimes.

“ok fine, if it makes you happy.” i say with a roll of my eyes, clicking to message him, expecting to prove sam wrong. to my disbelief, she was right. he did message me. i go silent.

“oh my god… he messaged me.”

“WHAT DID HE SAY?” she shouts again.

“oh my god im turning my volume down now.” i say and then focus to read the message.

stillstreet:hey! sorry to randomly message you like this, i just wanted to say i like your posts a lot, idk if that’s weird or not…

i read the message back to sam, slightly giggling at his obvious anxiety in the message, it was sweet.

“you need to respond back like now.”

“and say what!”

“say oh my gosh thanks! can we fuck?” sam says in an extremely girly voice that sounded nothing like my own.

“SAM stop!”

“i’m sorry he’s hot i would so not be able to control myself.” she whines. “plus if he’s messaging you like that there’s a chance that might be his intention.” she insinuates.

“oh please! all he said was that my posts are cool…”

“yeah he’s trying to start conversation because he saw your posts and thought you were sexy!”

“ok well let me see what’s actually going on.” i say, trying to come up with a reply in my head.

do i just thank him? no the conversation could die there. i had to continue with a question.

(y/n):thank you so much, i really appreciate it. :) how’d you find me?

i ask him, trying to play it cool. i continue conversation with sam, mostly her raving to me about josh dun and twenty one pilots until he replied again.

“ok hold on, he responded.” i say, pausing our conversation to read the message to her.

stillstreet:i saw your photography when i was scrolling through some tags. i checked out your blog since i liked your style and i got to see more of you and your own personal style too and just decided i liked it. you seem like a cool girl :)

“you seem like a cool girl?!” sam repeats back dramatically. “oh i’m wet!”

“SAM oh my god calm yourself!” i scold her, despite the fact i felt myself flush at his words. “jeez you are going crazy over this man i should just send him over to you at this point.” i joke.

“no! you are the chosen one and i respect that, but if you fuck him you are required to give me every detail so i can live vicariously through you.” she says and i roll my eyes with a smile, giving up on stopping her from being vulgar. i pause, trying to think of a suitable response. “i’ll at least give you a cameo in our conversation.” i say to her playfully, starting to type my response.

“josh dun is gonna know i exist? oh my god i could die.” she says, estatic.

(y/n):thank you! <3 yeah photography used to be the only main thing on this blog, i’m a little insecure about posting myself sometimes but my friend sam has been my hype woman for me recently

i responded. maybe i was over sharing … i start to worry but josh responds quickly.

stillstreet:really? well i’m glad you have her, i’m happy to be able to see you. not to be too straightforward but you’re really pretty. i’m really surprised you’re insecure about posting.

my stomach swirls as i read the message in my head.

“(y/n)! what did he say?” sam says, pulling me out of my head. i read the message back to her in disbelief.

“oh my god.” she says, covering her hand with her mouth. (y/n) he wants you…”

i feel my heart beat speed up. this cute band member liked me? i decide to be chill about it, but also let him know i was interested.

(y/n):why thank you, i have to say you aren’t too bad looking yourself ;)

i immediately close my laptop in fear of what he would respond with, maybe that was too bold. “sam distract me!” i say, anxiously fidgeting with my hands.

“ok! let me send you more pictures of your man so you can see what you’re working with.” she says and sends me a bunch of picture’s over imessage. i open the notification, scrolling through them.

“woah, holy shit…” i say, admiring josh’s messy hair, his prominent arm muscle’s and abs, his sweat slicked skin and hair during shows, a mask he would wear that he still looked oddly sexy in, and especially his tattoos. the way the beautiful patchwork spotted across his skin lied just right on his toned arm.

“i know!” sam says, affirming his attractiveness. “his hair’s pink right now it’s soo cute.”

i reopen my laptop to see that josh had responded to me again.

stillstreet: oh really? maybe we should get to know each other more then :)

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

for the rest of that night, me and josh continued conversation getting to know more about each other. we talked about everything, our childhoods, our favorite music, shows and movies. as we got to know each other more over the next few days we even got into deeper topics, such as some of the struggles we face in our personal lives. i’ve never felt so easily connected with someone before, something about him just drew me in. he just got me. i tried not to let myself not get too attached despite this fact, if it was just a hookup he was looking for i would be ok with that. he’s an attractive man and it’s not something i would end up regretting. i lie in bed, staring up at my ceiling until i get a notification. i check it and smile when i see that josh had messaged me.

stillstreet: good morning :)

(y/n):hey! what’s up?

stillstreet: i wanted to ask you something actually

my stomach swirls in anticipation. what was there to ask? was he going to ask to hookup? was he going to ask what it was we were doing? was he going to end whatever it was we had going on?

(y/n):of course, shoot.

stillstreet: well i know that you had mentioned that you live in LA, me and tyler are on tour right now and we’re playing there in a few days. i was wondering if you maybe wanted to come to the show? only if you want to of course

(y/n):yes! i’d love that. not to push my luck but can my friend sam maybe come along? she’ll leave us alone i promise lmao

stillstreet: of course! and don’t even worry about it, i’d love to meet her too. i’ll talk to my crew and get you both backstage passes so you can watch the show comfortably.

(y/n):why thank you sir, i feel like royalty

stillstreet: to me you are!

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

of course when i told sam about the news she was beside herself.

“(y/n) have i told you how much i love you?” sam asks, sitting at the vanity in my room to do her makeup for the show.

“yes frequently and ironically enough it’s been ever since i told you about the tickets!” i say jokingly, sifting through the hangers in my closet, at a loss for what to wear. shirts and tanks were thrown all across the room.

“sam what do i wear?” i groan and she looks over at me.

“aren’t you literally like internet famous for always knowing that?” she asks playfully and i roll my eyes.

“now i wouldn’t say that…”

“you’re too humble for the fact that we’re literally getting ready to go backstage for a twenty one pilots show because the josh dun wants to fuck you.”

“stop saying he wants to fuck me!”

“i’ll stop once you prove me wrong!” she says and goes back to her makeup. “but if i were you i would be bragging my ass off about this.”

i smile and shake my head. “yes i know you would. you’re very predictable in that sense. ok now help me! what do people usually wear to their shows?”

“uhh i don’t know i’ve actually never been to one, but their aesthetic has a lot of blue and red because of their latest album and they also wear skeleton hoodies and ski masks often if that gives you any inspiration.”

“wait… yeah that actually helps a lot.” i say after i get an idea, going to the drawer that holds my tanks and grabbing the black mesh tank i had with skeleton bones on it. i grab a black lace bralette to wear underneath it, an oversized dark blue deinem jacket adorned with rips, and my black pleated skater skirt and thigh highs i wore in my most recent post. i sort through the jewelry on my jewelry tray and grab a blue transparent choker and a red transparent choker.

“oh that’s cute!” sam shouts after i put the outfit on.

“you really think? it’s not doing too much?”

“babe it’s doing just enough he won’t be able to keep his hands off you.” sam says and my stomach swirls at the thought.

i finish the look with a dark matte makeup look, and put my creepers on before heading out to the car with sam to leave for the show.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

me and sam were leaning against the car outside the venue. the sky still gloomy after the aftermath of rain earlier in the day and the smell of damp asphalt was lingering in the air. i hold myself with my arms, slightly shivering.

“maybe this outfit wasn’t the best idea.” i say, hugging myself even tighter as a chilling wind blew.

“you look cute! it’s worth it.” she says, focused on fishing the little container that held the joint we planned to smoke out of her purse. we had no desire to get our buzz from 20 dollar seltzers in the venue and we were both undeniably anxious about going backstage for our own reasons. it was just a little something to take the edge off.

she takes it out of the container, lighting it as her hands slightly tremble. “are you also so incredibly nervous or is it just me?” sam asks, taking a puff and then handing it over to me.

“fuck yeah i am… i hope he likes me in person too.” i say worriedly, taking a hit and passing it back to her.

“at least you’ve already talked to josh, i’m trying to think of like a million things i could say to him and tyler but none of them sound right… i hope it’s not awkward.”

“i’m sure it’ll be fine, they’ll probably be distracted setting up for the show anyway.” i say nervously, taking another puff and sam takes out her camera.

“photo op!” she says taking a picture of me blowing out the smoke and i roll my eyes with a smile.

“thank you my little photographer.” i say playfully.

the two of us finish smoking and start walking to the side entrance that josh told me to go to. as i walk i start to feel the pleasant lightness of the joint, putting a little bit of my nervousness at ease. we were met with a tall, burly slightly intimidating looking security guard.

“hi um our names should be on the list to get it.” i say timidly.

“names?”

i give him our full names and he nods, opening the door for us, revealing two other security guards that led us to the backstage.

as we walked down the dark hall, the sounds of distant rustling and thudding come into earshot as we got closer.

“what if this is just a setup for us to be murdered?” sam asks and i elbow her. “what! this is kinda scary…” she whispers.

but the feeling of unease was lifted when the security guards open the doors for us, leading us to the backstage which was warmly let and filled with crew mates conversing and setting up for the show. amongst the crew mates scattered around were josh and tyler standing in the corner immersed in conversation. the security guards lead us to them and a wave of anxiety washes over me as the boys look up at the two of us. i make eye contact with josh and his eyes light up, him flashing me a warm smile.

“these are your girls right?” one security guard asks and josh slightly chuckles at the wording.

“yeah they are, thank you man.” josh says and the security guard walks away with a nod.

the four of us all stand together, a silence quickly interrupted by giggles, all of us aware of the awkwardness of the situation. this was clearly a new thing for them, which made me feel special in a way. it was nice to know josh wasn’t just always bringing girls backstage, he didn’t seem like the type.

“hi, im tyler nice to meet you guys.” the brunette says kindly, shaking sam and i’s hands.

“i’m (y/n).” i say with a smile and tyler chuckles.

“oh i know this dude hasn’t shut up about you.” tyler says while pointing at his friend, josh smacking his arm and then glaring. “hey i told you i was going to embarrass you man.” tyler says, putting his hands up in defense.

“it feels like my dad’s meeting my girlfriend on prom night.” josh jokes and we all giggle.

sam gets caught up in conversation with tyler about the boy’s music, perfectly toeing the line between fan girl and casual fan. she clearly put a lot of thought into how to act in this situation. josh steps closer to me as sam and tyler were immersed in their own world, leaving the two of us alone.

“i feel like i haven’t properly said hello to you yet.” he says apologetically with a chuckle, then holding his arms out for a hug and i quickly accept it, almost feeling dizzy as my hands wrap around his strong back.

“you guys have fun before this?” josh asks jokingly after he pulls away, picking up the faint scent of weed mixed with the sweet perfume on my clothes.

i laugh softly, embarrassed that this was his first impression of me. “i’m sorry i probably smell like a joint…” i say apologetically, my face hidden in my hands.

“no don’t apologize it’s not too much it smells nice- you smell nice sorry this sounds creepy.” he rushes out, the two of us laughing.

“no it’s not, it’s sweet.” i say, looking at him with a smile and fully taking in his messy pink hair, his friendly hazel eyes, his pink lips and his cute nose ring. not the mention the muscle tank he was wearing that left no room for imagination… something about those damn tattoos really just got me.

he seemed to be analyzing me the same way, his eyes momentarily flicking downwards then upwards again to meet my gaze. “wow, you’re even prettier in person.” he says in a soft disbelief.

i flush softy, my stomach doing somersaults at his words. “why thank you, i could say the same for you sir.” i say and he smiles widely.

“you’re too sweet.”

the two of us walk around the backstage area conversing as josh prepares for the show.

“do you ever get nervous before these things?” i ask, slightly glancing at him as he walks besides me.

“honestly yeah. it’s more before we go on stage thoigh, no matter how many shows i’ve played and how much bigger the venues have gotten i always get that anxious feeling in my stomach. but when i get up there and start playing it all goes away, it feels like im in a trance honestly.” he says and i smile at him admiringly, taking in his passion for his art. he glances over at me, noticing my silence.

“sorry i’m rambling…”

“no no i was just… admiring.” i admit with an embarrassed chuckle. “it’s really cool how passionate you are, it’s inspiring.” i say and he smiles.

“really?”

“really.” i say, the two of us facing each other, a silence lingering as we gazed into each others eyes. he looks down at me, shyly brining his hand up to my face and slightly running his thumb across my jaw, me leaning into the touch.

“josh we’re doing the last sound checks right now.” tyler’s sudden voice startles me out of my hypnotized state. i look over and tyler smiles apologetically, seeing that he had interrupted a moment between us.

“alright, coming!” he replies to him and looks back to me. “i’m sorry, i have to go now.” josh says sadly and reaches out his hand to mine and i take it. “are we still on for drinks after the show?” josh asks with hope.

“of course.” i say with a smile, looking down at our intertwined hands.

“i’m really glad.” he says, squeezing my hand affectionately before he lets go and walks over to meet tyler. “enjoy the show.” josh says looking back at me over his shoulder with a subtle wink.

i smile to myself as he walks away, letting out a startled yelp when i suddenly felt a pair of hands on my shoulders.

“oh my god you guys are so cute!” sam gushes, slightly shaking me.

“sam you scared the shit out of me!”

“were you guys gonna kiss? oh my god the tension was crazzyy!” she says, ignoring my comment.

“wait you were watching us?”

“uh duh i found a hiding spot and i needed to see how things were going with you two!”

“you creep!” i say and slightly shove her, her sticking her tongue out in retaliation.

“were you flirting with tyler?” i joke and she shakes her head.

“nahh he has a girlfriend i’m not that kinda girl, but i did kinda hit it off with one of the crew members.” she says and i laugh.

“damn girl you had a whole agenda for like the hour i was gone!”

“hey i had to entertain myself somehow while you and josh have been away getting all lovey dovey!”

i attempt to front annoyance but couldn’t even hide how happy i was about all of this, a smile slowly growing on my face. sam catches on and playfully nudges me.

“this is a good night huh?” she asks with a smile.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

the show was amazing. i didn’t know what to expect from just the two of them, but the amount of energy they had completely made up for the lack of other members. the songs were beautiful and josh’s drumming was phenomenal. something about him when he was performing was so enigmatic. the way he seemed to get lost in the beat, the way his sweat slicked skin glistened under the glowing lights, the way he couldn’t help but smile when the crowd cheered his name. he would occasionally look back at me, flashing a smile when he had the chance. it made me feel a type of way i hadn’t felt before.

to say sam enjoyed the show was an understatement. the whole time she was jumping and yelling the lyrics, dancing and making me dance with her against my will. i was overjoyed by the fact that i got to give her this experience while also having my own special experience with josh. the two of us had parted ways when me and josh had left to get drinks, her also leaving with the crew member she’d been telling me about.

“hey we’re both getting lucky tonight!” she had cheered to me, which of course earned her an eye roll.

now, josh and i sat at the counter of a hip bar downtown, led signs reflecting a red shine on our faces and the sound of artic monkeys playing lightly from a jukebox in the background. i sip on a blackberry-basil martini, the sweetness mixing pleasantly with the slight burn of the alcohol.

“that show was amazing, i’ve never seen anything like that.” i say to josh, trying not to gush too much.

he smiles sheepishly, taking a small sip of his drink. “thank you, that really means a lot coming from you.” he says genuinely.

“just seeing you play up there too i don’t know your energy is just… magnetic.” i admit and he tilts his head in interest, his eyes locking with mine as he leans forward slightly.

“how so?” he asks teasingly, his pearly teeth slightly revealed as he chuckles softly.

“i don’t knowww.” i drag out, embarrassed and letting out a slight laugh, hoping he’d just drop the topic.

“aw come on don’t get all shy on me.” he says, playfully nudging my arm.

“you’re just.. the way you get so lost in the drums.. it’s like you’re on another planet. and the way you glow under the lights it’s like you’re an angel or something.” i say with a slight giggle, him softly laughing too. “yeah… i don’t know it’s just something about.. sorry never mind this it weird of me.” i stop myself, embarrassed

“what?” he asks playfully. “c’mon you can say it.” he says, his light demeanor spurring me on to continue.

“the way you play with such relish, the way you tilt your head back and take everything in i…” i start trailing off, slightly flushing as i felt his intent gaze on me. “i’m trying to find an artsy way to say this but i can’t. it’s just really fucking hot.” i admit, the slight buzz from this drink and my previous one giving me a boost of confidence.

i watch a slight smirk form on his pink lips as he looks at me, me tilting my head away in embarrassment.

“really?” he asks softly

“really.” i admit, meeting his gaze, my face still flushed.

he chuckles, bringing a hand to my cheek briefly to stroke the warm skin streaked with a soft pink. “you’re really cute you know that?” he asks and i shake my head in response.

“no, really.” he says, matching my previous response, his pupils slightly dilating as we hold the eye contact.

my whole body starts to feel warm, and all the sudden the need to jump his bones started to feel irresistible.

“hey… you don’t have to say yes i completely understand if you’re not comfortable with this but.. me and tyler are staying at a hotel nearby and i have a room alone tonight. would you maybe wanna… spend the night?” he asks gently, seeming the have the exact same thoughts running through his mind as i did.

“yes, that sounds great…” i reply, quickly catching onto what he was insinuating.

after he pays the tab the two of us walk to the hotel hand in hand, his thumb stroking my hand lightly as the sounds of the city droned on in the background. we walk in silence, not an uncomfortable silence, but one that held an air of anticipation.

after we had walked into the lobby, the pace of our walk had slightly picked up, almost speed walking as we went down the hall leading to his room. he lets go of my hand to swipe his key card and lets us in, quickly shutting the door behind us. almost immediately, his hands found my waist and i grabbed onto his shoulder and the back of his neck, leaning him into me so our lips touched.

he quickly reacts, matching the pace of my lips, his lips soft against my own as he ran his tongue across my bottom lip. i let my tongue softly graze across his, the warm feeling sending a deep sensation right to my core. i lean into him more as he deepens the sloppy kiss, him entangling his fingers in my hair while letting out a shaky breath through his nose. i feel myself get lost in the kiss, unaware of how much time had passed until he finally pulls away for air, a slight string of drool attached to our lips that fell when he moved his head down to my neck. he kisses down the skin, goosebumps being left in wake of his lips. i whine gently at the feeling, him softly groaning in response.

the sound made me feel lightheaded with need, and the feeling intensified when he slowly ran his tongue up my neck. i squirm, my breathing becoming more ragged when he hit the sweet spot. he sees this and leans in, pressing me against the door as he sucks on it gently, then grazing his teeth against it, the ticklish sensation intoxicating. i lean my head against the door, feeling completely out of control as he leads kisses across my neck, continuing to lick, suck and bite. he trails his large fingers up the bare skin of my thigh, the touch sending an electric shock through my body.

“can i?” he asks breathlessly, his fingers slightly grasped onto the edge of my skirt.

“y-yes. please.” i reply quickly and he moves his hand under my skirt, his fingers ghosting over where i needed him most, stroking me through the slowly dampening material of my panties. i let out shaky breaths as he teases me, continuing to kiss my neck. he finally moves his hand up to my hip, dragging down my panties past my thighs until they fell down my legs, pooling on the floor. he moves his fingers across my core spreading my wetness and i softly whine. he smiles against my neck at this, slowly entering his long fingers into me, a shaky moan falling out of my lips. he stills his fingers for a moment, moving his head back to mine, smiling as we momentarily make eye contact. he leans in to slowly make out with me again, beginning to thrust his fingers in as deep as possible. i moan into his mouth as i try to focus on matching the pace of his lips, finding it increasingly hard as his fingers moving in and out of me seemed to keep hitting all the right spots. the room was quiet besides for the sounds of our heavy breathing, my occasional moans, the sound of our lips moving together and the sound of his fingers moving in and out of my soaking arousal.

he finally withdraws his fingers, holding eye contact as he enters his fingers into his mouth, closing his eyes as he cleans them off with his tongue. “fuck.” i whisper in a slight daze as i watch him, his eyes squinting as he smiled in return.

“c’mere.” he says affectionately, grabbing my hand to lead me to the large bed, him falling back against the pillows and gently moving my body on top of his. i almost moan just from feeling how hard he was against my thigh. he entangles his fingers in my hair, leading my face down to meet his lips and we continue making out. i softly grind against his clothed thigh, needing relief for the burning need in my core. he softly chuckles into the kiss at this, then pulling away.

“do you wanna uh..” he starts, slightly sheepish. “you can sit on my face?…” he suggests and i almost whine just at his words.

“a-are you sure?”

“fuck yeah.” he says lustfully, gripping the revealed skin of my thigh from my skirt riding up. “come here.” he says, motioning me over with his two fingers as he lays himself flatter on the bed. i crawl further up, finally hovering above his face, my cheeks flushing from how vulnerable the position made me feel.

he smirks up at me before pulling me down by my thighs, his tongue immediately making contact with my core. i let out a gasp as he starts to thrust his strong tongue in, his nose rubbing deliciously against my clit. “josh..” i whine and he groans against me, the vibration going right to my center.

he laps up my wetness, moving up to suck on my clit. i moan and lean forward, tangling my fingers in his pink hair. i slightly tug at it as i feel myself getting closer to the edge, him moaning at the feeling. my hips seem to move on their own, slowly grinding against his face, chasing even more of the pleasure he was giving me. he took it well, letting me use him to get off as i pleased, sticking his long tongue deep inside me as i rode it.

the sight of his focused expression, his strong tattooed arm holding onto my thigh, his noises, the way he was devouring me like a starved man… it was all too much. “josh i-im gonna cum.” i whine breathlessly and he hums encouragingly, intensifying the movements of his tongue. when he moved his lips to suck on my clit again that’s when i lost it. “fuck!” i nearly shout, cumming so hard my vision blurred momentarily.

i grip the bedsheets roughly as josh kept up his movements, licking me clean. he pulls away and i climb back down, pausing to catch my breath. i hold onto his hips and he looks at me with a dazed smile, brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, then wipes the wetness off his face with his arm.

“wow that was..” i pant hard, looking up at the ceiling as i try to compose myself.

he giggles and leans forward to catch my lips, the taste of myself lingering on them.

“i’m glad you liked it, god that was hot you taste amazing.” he says, running a hand through his tousled hair.

i look down at him, his hair messy, his cheeks slightly flushed and droplets of sweat starting to bead on his forehead.

“god you’re so sexy it’s unreal.” i muse and he smiles bashfully.

“says you, you’re literally an angel.” he says, running a hand down my face. his eyes then drift down to my tank. he slowly moves his hands to it, moving them to grab onto the edges. “can i?” he asks and i nod. he pulls the mesh over my head, leaving me in my bralette. “god this has been driving me crazy all night.” he says, running his thumb over the lace material. i let out a sharp breath at the feeling of his finger running over my hardened nipple. “you look so beautiful in it.” he says, leaning down to press kisses across my chest and down my stomach. he gets to my skirt and i hoist my upper body up slightly so he can slide it down. “and this combo of the skirt and thigh highs… shittt.” he says with a soft laugh, kissing down the soft skin of my thighs, me biting my lip at the feeling. he playfully bites at the skin of my upper thigh and i giggle.

he rolls down the socks, then runs his hands across my smooth legs. at last, he leans forward and gently curves his hands around my back and his fingers go to the back of my bralette, fumbling momentarily before fully undoing the clips. he leans back and lets out an uneven breath, taking in my full bare figure. the way he looked at me with such desire and such curiosity made me feel vulnerable, but at the same time it made me feel undeniably sexy.

he moves both his hands up to my breasts, softly kneading and running his hands down them, circling my nipples with his thumbs. i let out a soft whine at the stimulation.

“wow… you look like a goddess.” he says, running his hands down my figure. he leans in to leave kisses down my chest, then takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking the bud gently.

“mmm fuck.” i whine at the feeling and he groans softly, moving to the other side and repeating the same motion. “josh fuck me please.” i whine, unable to take the teasing anymore.

he looks up at me, his hazel eyes darkened from how blown out his pupils had become. “you sure?” he asks and i nod vigorously.

“please.”

he bites his lip and peels his shirt off, my eyes widening as i take in the sight of his toned abs. “oh my god…” i say, my mouth slightly gaped as i run my fingers from his chest to his abs and he lets out a breathy laugh. he undoes his jeans, leaving him in his dark boxers, the tent in them being extremely prominent. i reach out my hand to softly stroke him through the material, feeling how hard he was. he groans quietly, then pulls it fully out, the tip reddened and leaking with pre cum. it was long and thick, to the point i was wondering if it would even fully fit.

“shit let me get get a condom.” he remembers, reaching over to the nightstand but i grab his arm.

“i um… i’m on birth control and i’m clean if it’s alright with you we can just…” i start sheepishly and he wastes no time crawling over me.

“hell yeah. i am too.” he says, petting my hair while looking down at me. “you ready?” he asks gently and i nod in confirmation.

he looks down in focus as he lines himself up with my entrance and slowly slides in, my eyes rolling back at the feeling of being so overwhelmingly filled up. the two of us let out shaky moans when he fully bottoms out. he holds onto my shoulders, his head drooping as he starts thrusting slow and deep.

“fuck you feel so good… so warm and.. tight.” he groans shakily, stroking my jaw. i look up at him, letting out soft moans, barely feeling on this planet from the bliss of his controlled thrusts. i let out a gasp as he hits just the right spot and he catches on, thrusting the same way over and over. i pull him down by his hair roughly and he groans, matching the pace of my lips. the kiss was sloppy, a mix of tongue and teeth as the two of us were being overtaken by pleasure.

“josh…” i whimper and he lets out a broken moan, his thrusts starting to quicken, still hitting deep inside me.

“doing so good for me… making me feel so good.” he coos, stroking my cheek and i almost cum right then and there.

“fuck.” i whine, moving my hips to match the rhythm of his thrusts. i look up at him, his cheeks tinted and beaded with sweat, his hair slick, his eyes darkened, his pink lips swelled and slightly parted as he let out quick heavy breaths.

he leans in to kiss me again and as much as i try to focus on kissing him back, the pleasure was too much. my mouth goes slack as i lean my head back again the pillow and he giggles, continuing to thrust as he leans down. “you feeling good?” he whispers in my ear, the sensation sending tingles of pleasure down my spine.

“y-yes.” i whine, painfully turned on by how he was talking to me.

“yeah?” he whispers, playfully licking the shell of my ear, then biting the lobe before he starts to thrust harder. it was a blissful state, my head thrown back, completely losing myself in the feeling, my senses being completely drowned by him. no other thought other than josh deserved a lick of acknowledgment in that moment, not when his words were so sweet and he was fucking me so good that his name was coming out of my lips like a prayer.

i whine at the loss when he pulls out suddenly, takes hold of my thighs, and brings my legs up to each side of his shoulders. he puts his arms behind my lower back, slightly hoisting me up. he readjusts himself and then enters me again, sliding all the way in. the new angle offered a sense of fullness i hadn’t ever felt before. i moan loudly, latching onto his back with my nails. he holds onto me by my upper back and hip, and starts moving me back and fourth onto his cock, almost like a toy. his head tilted back in bliss, his adam’s apple prominent as he lets out throaty groans.

“oh my god- josh.” i moan, my eyes filling with tears of pleasure, digging my nails into his back, slightly dragging them down as he thrusts quickly. he moans roughly at the sensation. “fuck i’m close.” i say, continuing to latch onto his back as his thrusts kept rocking my body up and down.

“me too.” he pants, peppering kisses across my neck. “let go, i’ve got you.” i squeeze my eyes tightly as i feel my high rapidly approaching.

“s-shit where should i cum?” he asks quickly.

“inside, i wanna feel you fill me up.” i whine and he groans loudly at my words, his fingers pressing tightly into my hip.

“fuck… (y/n).” he moans hotly in my ear as he releases inside me, his hips slightly slowing.

at the sound of him moaning my name and feeling the warmth of his cum inside me i finish too, moaning and tightly squeezing around him as he slowly thrusts through his release.

“yeah that’s it, such a good girl.” he whispers as he rubs my shoulder, my ears ringing from the intensity of it.

he stops his movements and pants heavily as he keeps himself hoisted above me, slowly pulling out. i feel some of his cum slowly starting to seep out. “fuck.” he whispers, biting his lip as he looks down at the sight.

he rolls over to lay beside me as i look up at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath in quick short gaps. he does the same, his body slick with sweat as he attempts to slow his breathing.

“wow that was… wow.” i muse, my hand resting on my forehead as i try to come back down to earth.

“yeah… i’ve never experienced anything like that holy shit.” he says, turning over to look at me with a smile. i smile back, mentally preparing myself for him asking me to leave as he slides his boxers back on. this was a really good experience, if it was just a hookup then so be it.

“do you wanna come here?” he asks, slightly shy as he extends his arms out across from me.

i nod, surprised but a smile widening on my face as i get closer to him and nuzzle my face into his warm chest. he wraps his strong arms around my lower back and looks down at me with a look of admiration.

“hey i know this is might be a weird time to ask but…. would you want to go on a proper first date with me tomorrow? you can stay tonight and we can eat in the morning and do something after? we have another day in LA…” he asks nervously.

i giggle softly, slightly thrown off. “yeah. i’d love that.” i say, leaning up to peck his lips softly. he smiles into the kiss, holding onto me as he kisses me back.