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the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

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— Richard Siken, Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

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Spark 

A Nothing to Fear sidestory

“Hey, so…” he started, leaning against the counter, as he dried the clean wine glasses with a dishcloth. Beside him, Wilhelm was rinsing plates and cutlery to put in the dishwasher; he looked up from the scrubber at him. 

“Have you ever… wanted to… um… try things?” 

Wilhelm turned off the faucet and put the last plate in the top rack. “Like what?”Simon hesitated. “Like, um… to be tied up…? Or to… tie me… up?”

Wilhelm paused for a split second. “Um… why do you ask?”

Simon grabbed another glass, and shrugged. “Just curious.”

A smile slowly appeared on Wilhelm’s face; combined with the way he casually leaned against the counter opposite him and crossed his arms, it made Simon blush. “I had never really thought about it.”

“Hmm,” Simon set the dry glass on the counter. “Me neither.”

Wilhelm gave a slow nod. “But now you are… I’m guessing due to the conversation from earlier…” 

Simon nodded too. “And so are you.”

“I guess so,” Wilhelm licked his lips. 

NEW ONE-SHOT UP

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Young Royals (TV 2021) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Simon Eriksson/Wilhelm, Simon Eriksson & Wilhelm Characters: Simon Eriksson, Wilhelm (Young Royals), Felice Ehrencrona, Sara Eriksson, Madison "Maddie" McCoy (Young Royals), Ayub (Young Royals), Rosh (Young Royals), Malin (Young Royals), Wilhelm's Male Bodyguard (Young Royals) Additional Tags: Fluff and Smut, Light Bondage, Blindfolds, Light Dom/sub, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Gay Sex, Consensual Kink, Kinks, Control, Comfort No Hurt, Wilhelm Loves Simon Eriksson, Simon Eriksson Loves Wilhelm, Adult Simon Eriksson/Wilhelm, POV Simon Eriksson Series: Part 4 of On the other side of my imagination Summary:

Trying new things can be a little daunting. Simon POV. A Nothing to Fear sidestory

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Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

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As it’s Pride Month and everything’s shit, I’m rewatching all my favorite queer shows, starting with Heartstopper.

And now: Things that I can’t believe I only realized now, even after watching all seasons of Heartstopper multiple times (and by multiple, I mean MULTIPLE)

- In season 1, episode 8 (Boyfriends), after the race, when Charlie is telling Ben to leave him alone, I had not noticed how, when Ben is looking up angrily at him, A TEAR SLIDES OUT!!! WHAT??? Superb detail there, excellent bit of acting from Sebastian Croft, and it actually adds so much to his character and to every other interaction between them after that.

- In season 2, episode 2 (Family), when Charlie is in Nick’s bed playing with Nellie and Nick is downstairs making tea, and his brother David just walks into his room (rude), NELLIE GROWLS. She growls as soon as David comes in (an appropriate reaction), showing that she knows that he’s unwelcome. Has she growled before in the show? I don’t think so. Is she being protective of Charlie or just knows that Nick does not like his brother? Anyway, superb acting from Echo the dog.

- In season 3, Nick gets to say ‘fuck’ three times (or at least those are the ones I noticed): twice at David (appropriate), and once when he’s telling Charlie that he’s “so fucking hot” (appropriate). My favorite time has to be when Nick and Charlie are in bed making out and David just walks in (like a rude asshole who has learned nothing), and Nick just blurts out “DON’T COME IN! FUCK OFF!”, which is hilarious to me how visceral it came out, and David’s reaction is also priceless (and hopefully he’s finally learned not to fucking walk into Nick’s room when he pleases). That was superb acting from both Kit Connor and Jack Barton.

Anyway, I’ll probably notice even more stuff next time I rewatch it, which will probably be just before the movie comes out.

On to Young Royals!

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Rainer Maria Rilke, Always Again, Selected Poems

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Happy Pride Month!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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Things are heavy and dark, my mind is all over the place, so for Pride Month 🌈✨, I’m rewatching all my queer comfort shows (Heartstopper, Young Royals, Skam, etc).

Wish everyone a Happy Pride Month!!!

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That omar pic you're taken?? That's an angel. No he's not a man, no man 🌟 ng bright like that!

My camera was smeared with sunscreen. I didn’t realise until a bit later but some photos now look like this lmao always use protection guys even if it ruins your hard work 🥲💔

But also yes, that is an angel!

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Never trust an asexual who says “for fuck’s sake.” They do not hold stock in the sake of the fuck they are lying and manipulating you

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M

bby 💜

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Started rewatching and realised I’ve never drawn this image before, simply unacceptable 💜

Also enjoy the close up because I like how their faces turned out.

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feIiz cumpleaños a wille!

wille’s birthdays will be happy from now on 😌💜

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Rewatching season 1 of Young Royals made me understand even more why it was so difficult for Simon to trust Wilhelm in season 2. 

Like Wilhelm in that scene above, I mainly had in mind Wilhelm’s denial of the video, which was a hard betrayal for Simon but something that Wilhelm objectively couldn’t have done differently at the time.

But i kinda had forgotten how Simon’s trust was sorely tested in season one, not just at the end with the video denial but throughout the whole season. Wilhelm is changing his mind repeatedly in the first season and this accumulation of alternation of hope and disappointment really does explain Simon’s exhaustion and his reluctance to trust Wilhelm in season 2. And it’s by making a tiny list of those moments that i realize how many of them there were.

1. 

In episodes 1 and 2, Wilhelm wants to spend time with Simon at school and outside, they hang out together at the party, in Bjärstad and go to Rosh’s football game, Wilhelm seems to have a truly great time with Simon and his friends. But then he asks Simon to delete his instagram story showing the nice moment they spent together.

2.

At the end of episode 2, Wilhelm is the one touching Simon’s thigh, he’s smiling when they intertwine their fingers. But then Simon kisses him and Wilhelm says ‘he’s not … (like that)’.

3.

Wilhelm ends up holding back Simon and kisses him. But then in the begging of episode 3, he asks Simon to forget about what happened.

4.

Later on during gym class, Wilhelm takes what he said back and asks Simon to spend the weekend with him at Hillerska, just the two of them, he even meets Simon’s mom. But then (ok his brother died in between but still, it’s from Simon’s perspective) Wilhelm asks Simon to delete all their texts and says ‘he can’t do this anymore’.

5.

In episode 4, Wilhelm calls Simon in the middle of the night, declares his love, Simon rescues him, they spend the night together, share their feelings and have sex. An intimate bond and a relationship of trust has been built between them. But then in episode 5, Wilhelm tells Simon he’s not sure he will have his back for the drug incident, that he might have to stick with the rich boys’ plan in order to protect himself.

6.

And finally in episode 6, they’re very supportive of each other after the video was leaked and Wilhelm tells Simon he won’t make a statement about it. But then he does and denies it, letting Simon alone in the scandal. 

I love Wilhelm with all my heart and as viewers we know his inner struggles, all the pressure he’s under, what he has to fight against to be with Simon, and that he indeed made a lot of brave decisions all along. But seeing it from Simon’s perspective, boy I’ll be tired and very unsure too. 

Each time, Wilhelm did end up being on Simon’s side, and season 1 ends with Wilhelm telling Simon he’s in love with him and showing it publicly by hugging him in front of the whole school. But all Wilhelm actions and decisions during the season did come with a moment of second guessing. And this is hard for Simon, to continuously feel that he’s not an obvious choice and with no assurance that he will be. And none of this is to put any blame on Wilhelm, he does his best but it doesn’t make it any less difficult to handle for Simon. 

Because Simon is also well aware that, even if Wilhelm do not want to be part of the world he was born in and is critical of it, he will always have a spot reserved for him in it and will always be encouraged to choose the royal life. He could at any point go back to it, deciding to stick to traditions, to erase everything he had lived with Simon. Their situations are not equal and Wilhelm needed to prove harder to Simon how serious he was about his feelings because of that. And that’s what Wilhelm did in season 2.

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Well, still here reading fic everyday, on tumblr seeing what's new and always thinking of my next gif set.. 😊 I don't know how long it will last but right now it's still so strong and I'm thinking I'll be a very long-term gurlie. Hoping there will be plenty of us who will be sticking around. 💜💜

💜

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Excuse me for being crude (not really), but the way Simon is always gagging for it when it comes to Wilhelm never fails to make me INSANE.

Simon knows Wille is willing to give up everything for him, and he’s literally never had that kind of devotion, he’s never had someone put him first like that, and I fucking love that it just makes him horny like yes king get off on true love