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The beauty of Islam is that nothing is wasted, nothing is meaningless. Giving some water to a thirsty homeless animal can wipe out all your past sins. Birds and animals eating from plants you grow in your garden is a charity. A compassionate touch on an orphan’s head is appreciated by God. A smile and a good word are praised. Putting a morsel in your wife’s mouth is a righteous deed. Cherishing your own family is a charity. Honouring you parents is highly estimated and rewarded.

Even your pains, physical and emotional, great and small, nothing of them is wasted or meaningless, all are counted and compensated. This is the nature of having a trade with God, The Most Generous.

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Sorry for being so inactive, everyone. Things have been rough personally but I am doing better alhamdulillah!

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Whenever I see a queer invalidate another queer's relationship with god, I just get disappointed. "We need more complex queers!" You can't even handle religious queer people.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/progressive_islam/s/1401QvzC6v

These are not my words, please use the link if you want to see the author.

Explanation to verse 7:81 or the "Anti-gay" verse.

People often bring up verse 7:81 with out any context to show why the Quran forbids gay people and thinks that gay sex is haram, I'm here to give the full context and show why their wrong.

For those who don't know, verse 7:81 say's something like "Indeed, you approach men with desire, instead of women. Rather, you are a transgressing people." Which sounds bad alone until you actually take into full context what it means.

The verse is talking about the village of Lot who were actively RAPING men, not just having sex with them (a major problem in the world back then as both the Romans and Greeks were known to rape other males). As in their lust had become so overwhelming that women weren't enough anymore, they had to attack visitors (a big no no in Islamic culture) and rape them even though they where guys. The people of Lot where so depraved that they literally tried to rape angels before being wiped out so it's a warning against the depravity of rape instead of homosexuality in general as no where in the Quran, unlike the bible, does it say anything against gay sex.

The verse literally right before it say's something like (plenty of translations but roughly) "How do you commit such a horrible that NO ONE/THING BEFORE YOU HAVE COMMITTED". This can't mean homosexuality as we know homosexuality in animals does exist and homosexuality was very well known to just about every person on the planet as shocker, gay people have always existed. Historically speaking, the Code of Hammurabi , which ordered society in most of the Tigris-Euphrates Valley for more than a thousand years, has nothing to say about homosexuality. The laws of Eshunna and Egypt are also silent on the subject with us knowing that there were ancient Egyptian gay couples including a Pharaoh who was more then likely bi. The Hittites forbade father-son relations, but that was part of a general rule against incest. The Assyrians thought it shameful for a man to repeatedly offer himself to other men, and also prohibited men from raping males of the same social class, but all other male-male sexual relations were ignored. These are all states that were around centuries before Sodom and Gomorrah were apparently destroyed destroyed. The much more rational explanation would be they made an entire society based on rape of men and other "abominations" to a point where they would kick people out for wanting to stay "pure" (line 7:82), something that no group of people before them have done.

Now people will often say "if it's bad raping man then it's ok if we rape woman right?" well no. This is because when you take it with the previous verse and the verse after it, it's clear that these people wanted the pleasure of doing something that no other group of people had ever done which was the mass rape/normalization of rape of men. It's absolutely horrible but the rape of women was a lot more normalized back than and so wouldn't fit with the previous line of them doing something that no group of people/creatures had ever done before. That also explains why they didn't except Lot's daughter (which could be interpreted as him trying to save them because the angels didn't take to kindly to wanting to be raped) as they got their rocks off by doing what no other people had ever done which was to mass rape men, not women which again, is also disgusting but a lot more normal back then.

To go more into Islamic history courtesy of u/cold-blue, The grand mufti of the Abbasid caliphate in the mid-9th century, Yahya ibn Aktham, was a known homosexual, and viewed a few verses through the gender/sexuality lens.

One of them was the verse where Allah says He prepares males for some, females for others, and mixes the males and females. I’ve read that ibn Aktham once said that this verse confused people because it alludes to sexual preferences. He also said that the heavenly cupbearers mentioned in the Quran are sexual rewards like the houris. (Whether or not homosexuality is allowed in Jannah was debated, and some came to the conclusion that it is, and the only reason it isn’t in this life is because the rectum is dirty.)

The Ottoman empire, the last caliphate of the Muslim world, not only didn't care about gay people (unlike the Europeans) but actually had art depicting it.

Another is al-Razi. While he didn’t outright say that homosexuality is allowed, he allowed gay couples to be together sexually so long as they didn’t have anal sex. He was concerned with homosexual men committing suicide over their innate feelings and said that if there is risk of that, and the man cannot change himself from homosexual to heterosexual/survive in an opposite-sex marriage, he may be with his beloved (a man) so long as he does not transgress the limits (in his opinion, anal sex).

One of the transmitters of the Quranic variants we have today (of which Warsh and Hafs are two) was a man named al-Kisa’i, who was also a known homosexual. So one of the seven qira’ats came from a gay man.

There was another man ALSO named al-Kisa’i, who was a historian in 1100 CE, and he said in his Stories of the Prophets (Qiṣaṣ al-'Anbiyā') that the people of Lut were specifically MEN WITH WIVES who raped other men, not homosexual men, lining up with what we know historically.

And speaking even more so on the physical element, the male "gspot" is actual in the anus which even if you find gross, is a design of Allah and not a flaw. Why would he do that if homosexuality is a sin?

The reason homosexuality is so hated in the Islamic world is none other then the heretical Salafi and Wahhabi movements (actually considered heretics for most of the time they were around including their top scholars, not my opinion, and the only reason their not now is because of British) and because of Europeans as homosexual relationships were generally tolerated in pre-modern Islamic societies, and historical records suggest that these laws were invoked infrequently, mainly in cases of rape or other "exceptionally blatant infringement on public morals". Public attitudes toward homosexuality in the Muslim world underwent a marked negative change starting from the 19th century through the gradual spread of Islamic fundamentalist movements such as Salafism and Wahhabism, and the influence of the sexual notions and restrictive norms prevalent in Europe at the time: a number of Muslim-majority countries have retained criminal penalties for homosexual acts enacted under European colonial rule.

People often only bring up verse 7:81 and don't bring the verses directly previous or after it nor does it take into consideration the histography of their actions and the verse. It would be like me saying a book said "...kill all black people." but not elaborating and saying that the line previous to is says "These people were so horrible that they would regularly chant..." and the line after it is "I can't believe they would say/do something so disgusting." with the entire context of the book being that they would kick out anyone who didn't want to kill all black people. They only say's that the book said to kill all black people. It's very disingenuous to say the least.

To further prove my point, the word "sodomite" is often used to mean the rape of another person through the ass, not consensual sex between the two. If you google "sodomized" than you'll see rapists, not a loving consensual couple. Even the Arabic words for "sodomite" and a gay person is different as sodomite is literally translated into "lut" well a gay person is translated into "shakhs mithliu aljins".

To get more philosophical about it, sex is not some fetish which just develops in people, it is the most primal human desire that a person can have. So why would Allah make a group (there's homosexual animals as well) a certain way and then say not to follow the most basic desire they'll ever have right after wanting food and water but then say the rest of that group can follow that desire after they get married? People can control their desires until marriage as the Quran makes clear, they don't just never have sex. So why would it be any different for a gay couple? This is like saying that sex with it self is haram.

Finally, people often forget the fact that Allah is an all loving and all knowing being so why would he make certain people that he hates or want's other people to hate aka be "phobic" of when in the Quran it's made clear that we should be loving and affectionate? Now even if after all of this people still believe homosexuality is haram, Allah is said multiple time to be all loving, all understanding and all forgiving so as long they are good people and don't commit a truly horrible sin (shirk aka worship of other false gods, rape, murder, hurting others, you know, the classics) Allah will inevitably forgive them for giving into their most basic human desire especially if it's with a loving partner with in a marriage so why would anyone else have a problem with them?

I'm not gonna add a tl;dr because I worked waaay to hard on this for it be condensed into a few sentences and I really want people to read it and fully understand where it's coming from.

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Resources for Queer Muslims

Ramadan is here, and with it, it brings an influx of religious activities and rituals. For queer people, especially queer closeted people still living at home, it can feel incredibly suffocating.

Islamophobia in the white LGBTQIA+ community and queerphobia in the Muslim community exist simultaneously, making you feel alienated from both groups

You are not alone

The Queer Muslim Project

on Instagram shares the stories, writing and art of Queer Muslims from all around the world. (They might tell your story too!) They also have a monthly visual newspaper and a collection of the dreams and futures of queer Muslim youth.

Queer & Muslim: Nothing to Reconcile | Blair Imani

This is a very heartwarming talk, and it's pretty short too. Blair Imani is a lovely person, an educator and constantly trying to spread awareness. Find her on Instagram, too!

LGBTQI Resources — Muslims for Progressive Values

This page answers many questions you may have. It has some really good lectures etc. on what it means to be Muslim and queer. It also has a collection of area-wise organizations for queer Muslims.

The Huriyah Blog

Huriyah was a magazine that ran from 2000-10. Although the magazine no longer runs, and the blog is not currently active, there's still some really good pieces on the blog, check it out.

Islamic Texts: A Source for Acceptance of Queer Individuals into Mainstream Muslim Society Muhsin Hendricks

This is a bit long, but it systematically tackles everything that people use as "evidence" of queerness being a sin in Islam. Having an argument with a bigot? This is your go to source.

I Am Muslim And I Might Not Be Straight

This is really well done, short and succinct. It also has really good art. I would recommend sending this to someone who is struggling while questioning their sexuality or gender identity.(If that someone is you, this is for you!)

Just Me and Allah- Samra Habib

This is a photo project they started that photographs queer Muslims and tells their story. She also has written a memoir called We Have Always Been Here. Buy it here

Hidayah Podcast

This is a podcast that speaks about the experience of the intersectionality of religion, sexuality and gender and finding your identity. It also shares experiences from several queer Muslims.

The Queer Muslim

is a South Asian monthly magazine focused on queer Muslims. It's a beautiful combination of storytelling and visual arts

again, I'd like to remind you

You are not alone

I was raised in a very conservative Muslim household, and although i no longer practice it, I'm still left with all that knowledge. If you have any questions, doubts or fears, my inbox is always, always open.

Reblog so this reaches everyone who needs it

Ramadan Kareem :)

I hope you have a blessed month.

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Resources for Queer Muslims

Ramadan is here, and with it, it brings an influx of religious activities and rituals. For queer people, especially queer closeted people still living at home, it can feel incredibly suffocating.

Islamophobia in the white LGBTQIA+ community and queerphobia in the Muslim community exist simultaneously, making you feel alienated from both groups

You are not alone

The Queer Muslim Project

on Instagram shares the stories, writing and art of Queer Muslims from all around the world. (They might tell your story too!) They also have a monthly visual newspaper and a collection of the dreams and futures of queer Muslim youth.

Queer & Muslim: Nothing to Reconcile | Blair Imani

This is a very heartwarming talk, and it's pretty short too. Blair Imani is a lovely person, an educator and constantly trying to spread awareness. Find her on Instagram, too!

LGBTQI Resources — Muslims for Progressive Values

This page answers many questions you may have. It has some really good lectures etc. on what it means to be Muslim and queer. It also has a collection of area-wise organizations for queer Muslims.

The Huriyah Blog

Huriyah was a magazine that ran from 2000-10. Although the magazine no longer runs, and the blog is not currently active, there's still some really good pieces on the blog, check it out.

Islamic Texts: A Source for Acceptance of Queer Individuals into Mainstream Muslim Society Muhsin Hendricks

This is a bit long, but it systematically tackles everything that people use as "evidence" of queerness being a sin in Islam. Having an argument with a bigot? This is your go to source.

I Am Muslim And I Might Not Be Straight

This is really well done, short and succinct. It also has really good art. I would recommend sending this to someone who is struggling while questioning their sexuality or gender identity.(If that someone is you, this is for you!)

Just Me and Allah- Samra Habib

This is a photo project they started that photographs queer Muslims and tells their story. She also has written a memoir called We Have Always Been Here. Buy it here

Hidayah Podcast

This is a podcast that speaks about the experience of the intersectionality of religion, sexuality and gender and finding your identity. It also shares experiences from several queer Muslims.

The Queer Muslim

is a South Asian monthly magazine focused on queer Muslims. It's a beautiful combination of storytelling and visual arts

again, I'd like to remind you

You are not alone

I was raised in a very conservative Muslim household, and although i no longer practice it, I'm still left with all that knowledge. If you have any questions, doubts or fears, my inbox is always, always open.

Reblog so this reaches everyone who needs it

Ramadan Kareem :)

I hope you have a blessed month.

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Resources for LGBTQ+ Muslims

A few days ago, I came across a document I had created nearly a year ago when I was first beginning to seriously consider that I could be bisexual. In the document were a myriad of links and resources I had found that discussed being queerness and Muslim. I thought that these links and resources, which had taken me last year a while to compile, could inshAllah help any other Muslims who identify as queer, are questioning or are struggling to reconcile certain parts of their identity together. Some of these resources provide explicit reconciliation for LGBTQ+ Muslims, while others thoroughly explore several views of LGBTQ+ within Islam and the Muslim community, including views that are disagreeing, homophobic and/or hostile. InshAllah, I will add more as I find more. While I tried to look into these resources thoroughly, some of the longer ones were skimmed through at some parts. Anyone is welcomed to add more, and please, let me know if there are any problems found in this post and/or the resources listed below.

TW // Several of these resources either briefly mention or thoroughly discuss sexual violence, homophobia, transphobia, problematic age gaps, Islamophobia, assault, hate crimes, discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community, questionable/ambiguous age gaps and unbalanced power dynamics.

Platforms, Organizations and/or Guides That Contain a Multitude of Articles, Essays, Resources, Sermons, Stories of the Prophet (PBUH), Proofs from the Quran & Hadiths, or Groups for Muslims to Explore and Join:

Muslims for Progressive Values

Queer Jihad

Salaam Canada

I’m Muslim And I Might Not Be Straight

I’m Muslim And My Gender Doesn’t Fit Me

The Muslim Alliance for Sexual & Gender Diversity

Coming Home to Islam and to Self

Mecca Institute

Queer Muslim Resistance

Queer Muslim Reading Group

Resources Organized by Queer Muslim Resistance –> Highly, highly recommend this! The documents included in this folder explore films, books, podcasts, books, literature, accounts, poetry and many articles that are resources for queer Muslims.

What Imams/Scholars Have to Say:

There are 8 openly Gay imams in the world

A gay IMAM’S story: ‘the dialogue is open in Islam – 10 years ago it wasn’t’

Q&A: Islamic scholar Omar Suleiman on the Quran and homosexuality

Affirming mosques help gay Muslims RECONCILE Faith, sexuality

Essentialism and islamic theology of homosexuality: A critical reflection on an essentialist epistemology toward same-sex desires and acts in islam

Includes Evidence and/or References to the Quran and Hadiths:

Q&A: Islamic scholar Omar Suleiman on the Quran and homosexuality

Opinion | What Does Islam Say About Being Gay? (Published 2015)

Stances of Faiths on LGBTQ Issues: Islam - Sunni and Shi'a - HRC

Affirming mosques help gay Muslims RECONCILE Faith, sexuality

Essentialism and islamic theology of homosexuality: A critical reflection on an essentialist epistemology toward same-sex desires and acts in islam

Islamic Texts: A Source for Acceptance of Queer Individuals into Mainstream Muslim Society

The Qur’an, the Bible and homosexuality in Islam

A Muslim Non-Heteronormative Reading of the Story of Lot: Liberation Theology for LGBTIQ Muslims?

What’s wrong with being gay and Muslim?

Sexual Diversity in Islam

Homosexuality, Transidentity, and Islam

Queer Muslims (+ their experiences) and Community:

What’s wrong with being gay and Muslim?

Gay Muslims - How you can be LGBTQ+ and Muslim

What’s it like to be queer and Muslim? Let this photographer show you

Lut’s People: The struggle to be gay & Muslim in South Africa

As a trans Muslim, I used to feel vulnerable all the time. Then I found a community of people like me.

Persian poetry lovers

‘I feel caught in the middle’: queer Muslims on the LGBTQ lessons row

Just Me and Allah: A Queer Muslim Photo Project

How Queer Muslims are Rewriting Their Stories

Queer Muslim Heroes to Celebrate This Muslim Women’s Day

Queer Muslim Women Reflect On Navigating Their Faith and Sexuality

Queer Muslims Are Carving Out Their Space On TikTok

Why Samra Habib wrote a memoir about growing up as a queer Muslim woman — and it’s now a Canada Reads winner

Being a black, British, queer, non-binary Muslim isn’t a contradiction

Bangladesh opens first Islamic school for transgender Muslims

Affirming mosques help gay Muslims RECONCILE Faith, sexuality

Interview: Summayah Dawud talks about being a transgender Muslim woman

“It’s between me and Allah!”: Queer Muslims explain how they reconcile faith with love

Homosexuality, Transidentity, and Islam

Views Throughout History:

A historical look at attitudes to homosexuality in the Islamic world

Gay Sex Didn’t Scare Muslims in Islam’s Golden Age

Medieval Arab Lesbians and Lesbian-Like Women

The Amazing Way Islamic Middle Ages Celebrated Lesbian Loves

How homosexuality became a crime in the Middle East

Vanishing Source Materials and Medieval Arabic Lesbianism, by Boyda Johnstone

The Historical Context and Reception of the First Arabic-Lesbian Novel, I Am You, by Elham Mansour

Study examines the same-sex relationships of Medieval Arab Women

Persian poetry lovers

Sexual Diversity in Islam

The Qur’an, the Bible and homosexuality in Islam

Literature and Poetry:

A historical look at attitudes to homosexuality in the Islamic world

Gay Sex Didn’t Scare Muslims in Islam’s Golden Age

Study examines the same-sex relationships of Medieval Arab Women

How homosexuality became a crime in the Middle East

Vanishing Source Materials and Medieval Arabic Lesbianism, by Boyda Johnstone

Persian poetry lovers

For Queer Muslims, Islamic Poetry Represents Solace and Acceptance

Male-Male Love in Classical Arabic Poetry (Chapter 6) - The Cambridge History of Gay and Lesbian Literature

Persian Literature from Homoeroticism to Representations of the LGBT Community: an Introduction

The Amazing Way Islamic Middle Ages Celebrated Lesbian Loves

If I see explicit hate of any kind (from TERFs, or promoting transphobia, Islamophobia, homophobia, racism and/or discrimination of any kind), I will report and block.

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The Right Stuff

A strange question, but one worth examining:

If God told Abraham in a dream to kill his son, should we all as Muslims do everything put forward in our dreams?

There are a few flaws leading up to the question, and that's what we need to focus on first. If the original question isn't valid, the answer doesn't matter nearly as much as clarifying the errors in the original statement.

First, the Qur'an does not contain contradictions. All points put forward in the Qur'an must be reconcilable in interpretation to the rest of the Qur'an. No, we do not care what any hadith says -- only the Qur'an is to be considered because that is the word of God.

Second, nowhere in the Qur'an does it state that God told Abraham to kill his son: full stop.

What contradictions need to be avoided?

God states killing an innocent is wrong, and commands us not to kill anyone (6:151, 17:33, among other places).

17:33 Do not kill, for God has made this forbidden, except in the course of justice. Whoever is killed unjustly, then We have given his heir authority.

God also never encourages wrongdoing and it would be outright blasphemy to state otherwise. God encourages people to follow the rules as outlined by God's word, not break them.

7:28 "God does not order evil! Do you say about God what you do not know?"

So if God states killing is wrong/evil, and it is also stated God does not order wrong/evil, it cannot be true that God asked Abraham to commit something that was wrong, or evil.

God did save Abraham's son of course after his submission to his own literal interpretation of a dream he received. This makes sense as God can see Abraham interpreted his dream in a particular way, but as his son was an innocent, it became of importance to intervene to correct the issue.

So... what happened? Where did the dream come from?

All we know, is that the Qur'an never tells us the litearl message to kill someone was from God.

It could be the dream was from Shaitan, or it could be the dream was from God and was meant as a reminder to put God above all else (but not to be literally played out). I've seen both possible interpretations argued, and both do hold water. But because we aren't really told which it is unfortunately, so we can only postulate.

In any case, what must be true is that God did not tell Abraham to kill his own son. As a result, the entire question is a bit moot on one end, or a story of warning against interpreting one's dreams so literally on the other end.

Is it right because God said it? Or did God say it because it was right?

The Abraham story has actually been widely discussed and debated since 400 BCE, and the question about God vs. what is right or wrong is also misleading, as it presumes "God" and "what is right" are two different things.

In the Qur'an, God is truth, and truth is God. They are not separable.

What about the Bible?

Muslims are not Christians. Similarly, Muslims are not Jews either. This should be obvious. While Muslims respect past scripture, they also believe it was corrupted by man. That was in fact the point of the Qur'an, and if you read the Qur'an the first thing you will notice is a large swathe of it at the beginning is pretty much devoted to admonishing humanity for fucking it up.

Classic humanity. (Sadly, even today, we see the same thing happening again, not directly with the Qur'an itself, but with the quite-nearly blasphemous hadith literature being put forward as equals to God.)

That aside, there are a lot of issues with the story as put forward in Biblical literature, including a number of contradictions that cannot be easily reconciled even by the very basic nature of God. For Muslims, the Qur'an has no contradictions, and everything outlined in the Qur'an is reconcilable to the Qur'an.

What does the Qur'an actually say?

(37:101-105) So We gave him good news of a compassionate child. When he grew enough to work with him, he said, "My son, I am seeing in a dream that I am sacrificing you. What do you think?" He said, "O my father, do what you are commanded to do. You will find me, God willing, patient." So when they both had peacefully surrendered, and he put his forehead down. We called him: "O Abraham," "You have acknowledged the vision. It was such that We rewarded the righteous."

Some other interesting things about the Qur'anic verse is that it reinforces the message to Abraham as that of a vision or dream, and that the name of the son is never mentioned, though Islamic scholars tend to ascribe the name of Ishmael to the story based on logic: Ishmael was the older son. It is not possible for Abraham to have sacrificed his 'only son' or 'single son' and have it be Isaac, unless you discount Ishmael as ever being a son of Abraham at all. This is sometimes attempted as the logic for Christian doctrine but relies on discrimination of Ishmael as having been a son of a slave, something which is actually condemned in both the Old Testament and the Qur'an (and therefor cannot be true).

When Abraham played out his literal interpretation of the dream, God still considered that a submission of righteousness; not because God had commanded the act in the first place, but because Abraham submitted himself entirely to what he thought was God's command (which may have been the true meaning of the dream to begin with).

This is actually a powerful statement about people doing things with earnest in the name of God, even if they are making mistakes. God is ever merciful.

What conclusion does that leave us?

God has stated killing is wrong, and God does not instruct people to wrongdoing, period. Therefor, Abraham's vision or dream could not have come from God as a literal interpretation.

Either (a) it came from 'elsewhere' (from sources of evil), or (b) it came from God and it was meant as a reminder of the importance of God, not as a literal interpretation.

When God realized Abraham was going to carry out his dream literally, God intervened.

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In Islam, divine will can be overwritten by dua of oppressed people. So be careful about that. It could be your cruelty has caused Allah to change His mind about your fate...for the worse.

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It's a bit ironic as a trans man (specifically multigender), but I find more and more that wearing hijab allieviates my dysphoria. I am okay with the idea of growing my hair out, of just... being me.

From the moment I put on the hijab, I become more than just a guy who doesn't look like one. Rather, my womanhood shields that more vulnerable part of me. That part of me, the girlness within me, it is much stronger, much more capable.

In a way, I veil for two reasons. First and foremost for Allah, for His benefit and to do what He wishes. The second reason is modesty– but psychological modesty, rather than physical. People don't get to learn the parts of me that they can hurt, they don't get to see what is private and what is beautiful about me, unless I share it with them. They learn I am a Muslim woman, and that is the strongest thing I could be. And then the man, the boy inside me, he can be safe to be himself. He can be free– I can be as much of a man as I want, as I am, and it will be concealed.

I'm not sure if it makes much sense. But it does to me.

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“Oh you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result.”

[Qur’an 4:59]

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I think about my younger self sometimes. I think of her, and the way her heart ached. The hundreds of times she would repeat the Hail Mary, the countless moments spent in prayer begging for mercy. Begging for help.

I was intensely suicidal for a number of years in my life. Many times, I would talk to God. I would tell him– listen. I'm giving you another chance. I just need you to show me I'm not alone. I need you to give me hope.

And he never did.

Or, at least, that's what I thought for a long time.

Looking back on it, I think I understand. I needed to learn to love myself. I needed to learn to continue not because someone else made me, not because I was compelled forward, but because I wanted to.

My years as an agnostic and a lapsed Catholic, while they did involve a lot of spiritual pain, taught me some very important lessons. They shape the way I approach things even today.

1. I learned that you need to be the change. You cannot simply just pray, or hope, or wish. You need to get down on your hands and knees and get your fingernails dirty. You need to work for a better future, for yourself and for the rest of humanity. Assume no one else is going to do it, and be the one to step up.

2. You owe yourself the work. You owe yourself the struggle and the work that it takes to heal, to be better. If you feel God isn't helping you, help yourself. In the moments where faith is far away, you are your own final defense against despair. Even if you just lay in bed, get through the day. Get through the pain. Give yourself the chance to see a brighter future.

3. Religion is not indicative of personal morality. Being Christian, being atheist, being Buddhist or Jewish or Muslim, or any other faith– it can guide your worldview, it can influence you, but it can't fix you. Believing in the "right" thing does not absolve you of needing to learn morality and ethics, and by that I mean properly learn it. Good people can be religious or not. Bad people can be religious or not.

There are other things I learned, of course, but these are the most important. There's also additions to these I have, specifically as a Muslim.

1. Be the reason someone else's prayers for help were answered. Allow Allah to guide you and use you as a tool to aid your fellows in humanity and your siblings in faith.

2. Allah has a plan, and He is the best of planners. However, it might not be clear now, or even years in the future. Secondly, you need to help yourself, too. You will be stronger for it, more capable for it, more independent for it. And, perhaps, that is what Allah wants for you.

3. Don't allow yourself to fall into complacency as a Muslim. Learn, educate yourself, ask questions. Figure out what you believe is good and right. Figure out what you prioritize in life. Being religious is not a substitute for putting in the work of learning values, morality, and ethics.

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This is actually not as anti-theist and controversial as I thought, if you're already familiar with today's discourse on women's rights in Islam and Muslim spaces. It does criticize the science of hadith (ilm al-hadith) a lot and certain Sahaba (prophet's companions) so I'm sure some orthodox Sunni Muslims might take an issue with it (the author is a secular feminist sociologist) but I don't think it's a big deal personally but I'd caution against leaving the book around your more conservative parents and elders (lmao) unless you can talk to them about it.

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rereading hijab butch blues & thinking about things

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just read "confessions of sulayman x", which i highly reccomend as reading to any muslim– especially queer Muslims.

he seems to have come to a very similar conclusion to what i have. simply: unless allah guides me otherwise, i believe firmly that being queer is not a matter of sin. i spent years tossing and turning over my identity and my faith. becoming muslim has been a total overhaul of the lens i view the world through.

at any of those points, allah could have told me. put it into my heart– he is capable of all things. no matter how stubborn i might subconsciously be, he is capable of all things. he could have shown me the err in my ways.

instead, i am the happiest i have ever been. i am about to travel hundreds of miles to see my partner, hold them close and be with them for the first time. they are the one i wish to marry. i love them, and they love me. we support one another and have gotten through so many things.

if being gay was wrong, why would allah answer my prayers by leading me to them instead of leading me to the realisation that it was truly sinful and haram? allah does not lie– he would not seek to decieve me. allah is the most wise, the most benevolent, the most just. where is the justice, the kindness, the sense behind giving me joy just as a trap to fall into sin?

if it was wrong, i would change. i have changed before when i learned the error in my ways. i am willing to reevaluate based on evidence. but there is none. none that is practical, or applicable, or that isn't shrouded in controversy over it's meaning.

as long as allah guides me, and as long as allah brings me happiness and joy and trust in him being my most authentic self, i will never believe it is haram. i am queer. and i am loved.