rextrafan

[rextrafan]

I like to think Ford is on the verge of being violent at this point, and his competitors aren’t sure if they should be concerned for him or themselves.

You all know what you need to do.

[Poll 1] , [Poll 3]

[rextrafan]

I should be sleeping right now but this AU idea came to me and won't leave me alone

Ok so it's the late 70s/early 80s, and Ford has just received word that Stanley is dead. Of course Ford is devastated, to say the least.

Stan left a suicide note on the dashboard of his car, addressed to Ford. Along with his final goodbyes and apologies, Stan also wrote that he wanted Ford to have the Stanleymobile. For the past decade, that car was like a piece of his soul, and he didn't want it to end up in a scrapyard (nor did he want it sent to their parents in Jersey; Pa would probably just sell it for parts).

So the car is towed to Gravity Falls. The interior of the car is apparently left untouched, and Ford is extra devastated to see plain evidence that Stanley had been living in it. No wonder the car was so important to him; it was his only home for so many years...

The car sits outside Ford's home, unused. While it's true that Ford had been needing a replacement vehicle ever since Steve devoured the last one, he couldn't bring himself to start using this vehicle. The thought of using the Stanleymobile for everyday transportation needs felt... wrong. It felt like disturbing Stanley's grave. Ford just couldn't bring himself to drive it.

But that's okay. He doesn't need to drive it, because the car can drive itself.

It can start its own engine without any keys in the ignition. It honks and flashes its headlights like it's trying to get Ford's attention. By all accounts, the vehicle has a mind and will of its own. One might even say the car is alive.

Stanley did say in his note that the car was like his soul, or that his soul was linked to it, or something to that effect.

Apparently he never left.

[rextrafan]

KICKS THE DOOR DOWN. I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE READY FOR MORE

Hunger Games/Gravity Falls AU

In which the foundations of an alliance are made

(This particular installment includes blood and surface level descriptions of gore! And child death! This is the hunger games after all. It ALSO includes Emma May though so, it’s a give and a take. I also let my horror writer side out a little heavier for this…chapter? I think calling them one shots is a stretch so I’m falling these Installments. Sounds fancy. Anyway Enjoy!!)

There is something in the woods.

Well. This is the hunger games. Of course there are things in the woods.

Stan steps very carefully over a log, making sure not to step down on anything that might make a noise on the other side.

He's trying to get further back to the center, to the totem pole where this all began, in preparation.

Usually the gamemakers will herd the tributes closer together as time moves on, and as the games start to drag on for too long.

By Stan's count, it's been nearly two full weeks since he was lifted into the arena and sent off with a starting horn.

Two weeks. Somehow it seems like forever, and no time at all.

It's dark still, and that's why Stan is taking the time to walk so slow.

Very early morning is the best time to move around. During the day is a risk due to the other tributes, at night is out of the question due to the monsters that lurk the arena. Near dawn is the best time, and Stan intends to get ahead of the closing arena, and stay around the middle. Find a place for a final stand, prepare his final words, all that jazz.

He never thought he'd make it this far.

If Stan's being completely honest, he was absolutely sure he'd die the first day. Then, when that didn't happen, the second. Then the third, the fourth, and now he's survived all the way here, and he's not sure exactly what to do. How to feel.

He doesn't consider winning. There are seven tributes left in the game, him included. The odds against him are still pretty high.

The forest goes silent.

Stan stops.

It's never a good sign when all sound stops. Even the sound Stan wasn't aware he was hearing goes quiet. Crickets, bugs, even a buzzing fly, everything stops.

Things don't usually go utterly silent when a tribute comes around. The silence means it's something else.

Very carefully, Stan backs up. Slowly, he retraces the exact steps he just took, backwards until he steps sideways, until his back is up against a wide tree's trunk.

Stan scans the surrounding woods. The tree's here are thick, plants reaching up towards the sun and even in the light that's close to dawn the shadows stretch and unfurl into horrifying shapes, inching across the forest floor and to Stan's feet.

There is a sound, not too far away.

Foot falls, small ones. A person, not a game maker patented monster like the silence would have Stan believe.

He needs to go, run or hide somewhere. The footsteps could be a Career, but frankly any remaining tributes could be bad.

Stan sincerely hopes it's not Bud Gleeful.

The footsteps get faster.

They're headed right for him.

The tree being behind him is Stan's best bet. He can't run, there's something else out here and its not human, and Stan's more scared of that than he is of his fellow, human tributes, and even if that means he's about to get stabbed, there's no way Stan's gonna run off into the dark without knowing which direction he needs to avoid, it could be anywhere, the darkness is clawing at his sides and there's nowhere to run, Stan's heart is beating quick and shaky and he can't even breathe right, the panic is choking him and the footsteps are getting closer and-

Something grabs the back of his jacket.

Hands grab the hood, and it's so close and unexpected that Stan can't even scream, not even as the hands pull, yank him up.

Stan's feet leave the ground, but only barely. He jerks his head up.

Bangs. A snarl. Meat hook girl. District ten.

“Get up here,” she hisses.

She's still holding the back of his jacket like she's scruffing a barn cat, and Stan's half lifted and half suspended mid way up the side of the tree, but he can see the look in her eyes, the fear.

Stan digs the back of his heels into the bark, and claws with his hands. With her help, he is snatched up into the hanging boughs of the tree.

It's so fast, and fear is still pumping through his veins fast and hard like a drum, and Stan has no idea what's even going on, what does she know, why would she grab him?

“Wh-” Stan starts to say, and the girl from District ten slams her hand over his mouth like a punch and holds it.

It knocks Stan's head back a little, and he's still off balance, he hasn't found his footing really in the tree yet, not like she has, and Stan's crouch on the little jutted tree limb is shaky, and he starts to tilt. His arms pinwheel, trying to help himself and he can't make a single noise of alarm because of the hand over his mouth and he can't jerk his head away to rebalance.

“Shh.” Meat Hook seethes, and she wraps her other arm around his front and she pulls Stan backwards, until he's utterly pinned with his legs scrunched up and leaning back against her and the tree, all completely silent.

He tries to jerk his head away, and the hand over his mouth follows, and then utterly stills. Turned every so slightly, Stan can see his captor in his peripheral vision, he can see one wide eye.

He follows her line of sight.

Through the tree branches, through the leaves, Stan can see up ahead a tiny parting between the trees.

Coming towards their tree, is another tribute.

Thankfully, even with the hand still clamped in a vice grip over his mouth, Stan still has his glasses on, and he can see which tribute it is.

It's the boy from Seven. The lumber yards, Stan can't actually remember the kid's name. He's about fifteen, scrawny, and all Stan really knows about him is that the kid had a thing for woodpeckers.

Woodpecker boy looks utterly terrified.

Even from a distance, Stan can see how wide his eyes are, the sheen of sweat on his forehead.

He creeps forward, and he's not as careful as Stan was walking, because sticks crinkle and snap under his boot. The boy's eyes dart around wildly.

There is a loud rattling sound.

It sounds like a baby rattle, the one Shermie's son clenches in his tiny fist and shakes around whenever he's excited, or angry, or feeling any emotion really. That chh chh chh noise that reminds Stan of cicadas and summer nights, like bugs in tall grass.

Because he's been muffled so soundly, and because he's so close, and because the forest is so silent, Stan hears the girl from District ten- something May, he suddenly remembers- suck in a sharp breath through her teeth.

The woodpecker boy straightens up, and he looks so thoroughly petrified that Stan can almost feel the wash of fear that radiates off him.

Chh chh chh.

Something steps out from behind a tree, directly behind the boy.

Stan's eyes widen, and if there wasn't a hand over his mouth he would have probably let out a terrified noise.

It’s this…thing. Tall and spindly like the legs of a spider, like the furthest, smallest branches of a tree, like cracks in bark. Dark as shadow, darker even, with two glowing orange eyes perched and peeking out of the void that makes up the things face.

It has to be eight, nine, maybe even ten feet tall. It's head lines up in height perfectly where Stan is trapped, petrified in a tree not twenty feet away.

It towers over the boy, silent.

Emma May-her name finally pings in Stan's mind-stiffens all the way up behind him. Her hand that's pressing into his jaw presses even harder, like she's willing absolute silence through her fear alone.

The boy steps forward one more time. The thing follows.

It reaches up, a long fingered hand attached to a long thin wrist attached to a longer, thinner arm.

It reaches for the boy.

He doesn't even have time to turn around.

Stan slams his eyes closed.

It doesn't save him from the sounds of the boy’s scream, it doesn't save him from the noise the creature makes, that chh chh chh sound as it tears into his flesh. Closing his eyes doesn't save Stan from the visceral, wet cacophony of twisting and snapping bone, of meat being torn apart.

Chh chh chh

Stan can't make a single sound. The hand over his mouth prevents it, and underneath that he's gritting his teeth so hard that he can hear them creak, the sound of his jaw echoing in his head accompanied by the sounds of that thing.

He opens his eyes.

It's a mistake.

He might have imagined it was eating the poor kid. That the creature might, in some cruel way, have a reason for tearing him apart.

It doesn't.

The creature is standing in exactly the same place it was, except now there is no boy, there is only a broken piled mess of blood.

A cannon booms in the distance. Somehow it feels too late.

The thing stands there for another moment. It pokes, almost curiously, at the heaped mass of what is left of the boy on the ground. It isn't eating him, it's simply…observing.

Stan and Emma May hold perfectly still. Emma May isn't even breathing. Stan couldn't, even if he wanted to.

There is a twitch, a rustle and a crack of a breaking branch somewhere to the left of them. The creature snaps its head in that direction.

Chh chh chh.

It does not run. It doesn’t even seem to move with purpose. The creature turns, and simply starts walking in that direction, picking up long thin legs and moving forward towards the sound.

Chh chh chh.

They watch it go.

The two of them, Stan and Emma May, under no agreement to, stay exactly where they are for long minutes, listening.

Stan's legs are cramping from their positions, but he doesn't dare move them. He doesn't even dare move his hands, where they are braced and half supporting himself on the tree. Emma May's hand is still covering his mouth.

After it's been five, maybe ten minutes, sound returns to the forest.

The bugs seem to decide the danger has passed. Early light begins to pour in through the tree-lined. Everything is beginning to brighten up.

Very slowly, Stan reaches up a hand and prys Emma May's from his face. She lets go willingly.

“What was that thing?” Stan breathes. It's barely even a whisper, but his mind still screams of danger, of how fast that thing moved, the sound it made.

Emma May responds just as quietly. “I don't know.” She's still staring at where the creature disappeared away into the trees. Her eyes are a little distant. “I've seen it get two people. It comes out right before light.”

Well, there goes any of Stan's plans for traveling at dawn anytime every again.

That thing was right there. It was huge, there was no fighting it, no escaping it. Stan almost ran into it, completely unaware.

He almost just died.

He scoots up a little on the tree. The boughs itself aren't big, there isn't much room for one person of his size, let alone two people, but still he turns around so he can see Emma May properly for the first time.

He's sure she's a better sight than him. Her hair is tied back, most of it, except for the unruly bangs that seemed to have escaped. She's in the same survival clothes that he's in, although she has a bigger backpack.

“Thank you.” Stan says to her, a little breathless. “Seriously, I-you just saved my life.”

She doesn't even look at him, but her face tightens up, like she's mad.

Stan does what he does best, and keeps talking. Maybe if he fills the silence a little they can both get over the hurdle of the fear they just experienced.

“So uh, District 10 right?” Stan says. It's not his best opening line, but he's currently sitting in a tree with a girl he's supposed to be killing, and she just saved him, so his head is a little loose, cut him some slack.

“Ya know I-”

There is very suddenly a meat hook right in front of his face.

“Shut it Pines.” Emma May seethes. Wisely, Stan shuts up.

There's not much room to run. He could drop straight out of the tree, but he would hit the ground hard. His net is folded and attached to his belt, he wouldn't have time to get it out before she cleaves his face in half.

Emma May is still sort of whispering, that rapid, hushed tone like a mother scolding her kids or glass about to break. It's scary, and Stan can't look away from her face, even with the sharp end of a hook near his eye.

“I don't know what little game you're playing here,” she continues. “But leave me out of it. I know you saw me in the river.” Here Emma May pauses, like she can't quite believe what she's saying.

“You let me go.” She shakes the hook in his face. “Now I ain't got a clue why, but I just saved you, so now we're square. Got it? We are not friends, we are not allies, and the next time I see you, I will kill you, you understand?”

There was a time when Stan may have said that southern accents were sweet and cosy. He would like to amend that statement.

“Yes,” he squeaks.

“Good.” Emma May spits. She finally draws the hook, as sharp and menacing as it is, away from Stan's face. She leans back, giving him more space. “Now get the fuck out of my tree.”

“Yes ma'am.”

Stan's not afraid to say that he scrambles out of the tree. He still has the backpack, his knife, his net, and both his eyes, so he counts this a victory.

He gathers his footing again in the forest air. Dawn has broken, a new day will be coming soon.

Something still grates away at the back of his mind.

“Hey, Emma May?”

Her head pops over the side of the branch and her expression is almost enough to make him skedaddle out of there. Murderous isn't the right word, she looks like a grizzly bear that just got interrupted from its nap.

“What?”

Stan points in the direction of the lake.

“There's a sea monster in the lake.”

Emma May blinks. Blinks again. “What?”

“There's a sea monster in the lake,” Stan explains. “Big, like a, a crocodile or an alligator. Maybe those are the same thing. Anyway it's got a long neck, and might only eat fish, but I'm not sure.”

Emma May stares down at him. Her expression went from thunderous to utter confusion so fast Stan is impressed she doesn't have whiplash.

He shrugs. “You told me about that thing, it's only fair.”

Her face screws up in that funny way again. “Get out of here, Pines.”

“Yep! Sure, going now,” Stan says, and he starts to walk away, once again towards the arena's center. For some reason, he doesn't think he'll need to watch his back. At least, not from her.

“I'll uh, I'll see you around then?”

Emma May doesn't answer. She just watches him go.

“Uh huh.” Stan says, and he turns away, back to his own two feet. “See you around.”

He leaves her behind.

[rextrafan]

WANTED

Looking for reputable lobotomists so i can actually work on my wips and not get distracted with stuff like this! Someone drill a hole in my skull so i can get some breathing room here! Or a manager!

Anyway i was pulling up my computer and my eye caught the small loz decal and my brain assaulted me with Gravity falls loz crossover because i get NO PEACE around here.

Bills Ganondorf for obvious reasons, holding the triforce of power.

Fiddleford's Princess Zelda, has the tirforce of wisdom.

And Fords Link! He wields the triforce of courage! He's here to be a hero and save the day!

Much like loz botw Ford got discovered early as the wielder of the triforce. He's thrust into lessons, and although he can wield a sword his actual talent comes from the arcane, learning spells. Which would be great! Except the Master sword is a sword, he needs to know how to use it? Whatever, they're in a time of peace, they might not even need the hero! And Prince Fiddleford can't really wield the triforce of wisdom effectively either, they'll learn together as they grow!

Enter Bill, the palaces newest advisor and reincarnation of evil. No one knows he has the triforce of power or plans to overthrow the kingdom with an army of monsters. Prince Fiddleford is suspicious of him but not for any tangible reason he can use to get him kicked out, and his paranoid and fearful nature makes everyone roll their eyes and dismiss his worries. Meanwhile Ford's absolutely charmed by the one adult who doesn't push for Ford to learn how to wield a sword and encourages his scientific curiosity. Bill covers for him so he can go run off in the woods and study creatures, says his swordsmanship is already decent enough, and they get along so well! Bill and the prince are Fords very good friends in the castle and its a time of peace and lifes good!

Then Bill strikes. He's finally, finally gotten to a point in the cycle of reincarnation where he can take out the prince and hero in one swoop. Prince Fiddleford is locked away and the hero is chained in the castle basement, there's no one who can stop Bill now! He's finally spit in the goddesses eyes and won! The ultimate demon king right here!

Except Stan is also still here.

Stan is Fords near identical twin brother, the one that some people wished was the hero except his personality is.. hmm. Their entire life everyone's moaned that maybe Ford inherited the heros spirit but Stan took the hero's skill. He's great with a sword, strong, but not willing to stick his neck out for others and has criminal tendencies he can't hide as well as Ford (and are generally more malicious. Fords mischievous in his own right but likes to appear to be law abiding). They were really close when they were younger but over the years everyone comparing them to each other drove a wedge between them, Ford hating that Stan's the better swordsman and Stan hating that everyone puts him down as the dumb twin who must have stolen Fords talent in the womb. Gets worse as they grew older and Ford finally started bulking up, slowly reaching then surpassing Stan's skill. Now Stan really is the extra twin here, unwanted and unneeded. Fords living it up in the castle and no one even realizes Stan's left to wander around the kingdom and try to find purpose in life as the hero's brother. Can't get a job because people keep going 'oh the hero! no wait, its you :/' and he hates it. Secludes himself in the woods and hangs out with the fairies and gets mopey that no one even tried to look for him (Ford noticed Stan left, but at that point their relationship was so strained he figured Stan was finally off to start his criminal life and drag Fords reputation through the mud. Which he sort of did but mostly on accident).

Bill is only sort of aware Stan exists but has no interest in him as he's not a person of prophecy. Does nothing to stop him when Stan realizes whats happened and goes on an Epic Quest to save the kingdom (which is really an Epic Quest to save Ford and maybe rub it in his face, and the kingdom just so happens to be a byproduct of that). Stan's not the Hero, but through doing the Heros Quest sorta becomes one a la Windwaker. He goes to the temples, gets the different artifacts, and since he and Ford are identical rumors spread that Ford is out there, fighting off Bill and here to save the day!

Which leads to Bill checking up on Ford chained in the basement far too often to make sure he didn't somehow escape the last ten times he checked. Like thats Ford right there, chained up and growling, so who's this other guy slaughtering Bill's demon henchmen and gathering the power to end Bill? Not Stan, that guys not worth anything, so maybe... Fords ghost? Is he astral projecting through sheer rage or something, whats happening here?

Anyway Stan finally gets to the point where he can get through the forest and retrieve the Master Sword except, for all his heroic actions, he's still not the Hero. He can't pull the sword that seals the darkness, he can't use it to save Ford.

Fine. He'll just make a new sword. The.. SUPREME Master Sword (similar to ww phantom hourglass if i remember correctly) . Take that Goddesses! Stan's not gonna quit because a sword doesn't like him or something! New quest time! He's gonna travel to the most obscure cursed and abandoned places and get the rarest mystical materials to take down Bill and finally prove he's more than the spare hero. Now he just needs to find someone to put everything together to make the sword that mega seals the darkness.

Well, Prince Fiddleford is a known inventor and smart guy, Stan was raised with the skinny nerd and watched him bring all kinds of things to life. All Stan has to do is rescue him, shove the materials into his hands, and BAM! New super weapon created and he can go take on Bill and save Ford and everyone will finally start mistaking Ford for him! Hah!

Saves Fiddleford from wherever Bill had him locked up to find the Prince insane from repeatedly wiping his mind because he couldn't handle the Horrors. Alright. Alright! Whatever! Stan can handle this! He's already cleared a million temples and run around the kingdom so much he has every rock memorized! Whats one more epic quest to restore the prince's lost mind!

So he does that, and then there's a heartwarming moment where Fiddleford is finally sane, reaches out to thank Stan, and ruins the moment by calling him Ford. The punch to the face is very deserved, they both agree.

But now Fiddlefords back to himself and cant take all of Stan's pocket stuff and make cooler stuff out of it. Fiddleford agrees, because Stan did save his life and help return his sanity, but spends the whole time asking why Stan doesn't just go and rescue Ford directly so Ford can draw the Master Sword and take down Bill? Thats sorta his whole thing? Stan's stubborn though, and at this point he's spent too long doing all the heavy lifting he's not gonna let Ford steal the show. Stan's gonna save the day and then people will finally see him for himself (and Ford will say thank you, and they'll be brothers, fighting off the remaining demon hoard and doing cool combo moves and it'll be great).

Yada yada, stuff happens, Stan takes his new cool Supreme Master Sword (Its not called that Stanley! Its the Sword that Cuts the Darkness and there's downsides Stanley! Stanley stop running off and ignoring my warnings!(unsure what the swords actual name is here. Maybe the Champions Sword (reference boxer Stan)? The Chosen Sword (have to chose to weld it)? The Ultimate Sword (for ultimate sacrifice)? Who knows.) to the castle to confront Bill and save the day, rescue Ford, be a hero, not the spare!

Except Bill's not there, Ford is, Stan does rescue him, but Ford is not happy to see Stan. He's furious.

Going through the temples is Fords job. Saving the day and being theHhero is the reason he was born, and Stan going around doing it meant Bill was taking his anger out on Ford, rubbing in the fact that maybe they were wrong and Stan was the hero all along, huh! Turns out Fords not the hero, he's the guy who stole the triforce of courage in the womb! He's the spare!

Fords been hearing this on repeat for however long this has been happening. Storms off to do the actual heroes journey as the actual Hero and makes himself even more furious at all the completed temples and the fact he can't find the hidden passages and defeat the monsters because Stan's already done it. Gets his blessings or whatever, stomps over to the Deku tree, pulls the sword, and goes off to find Fiddleford so the two of them can complete the prophecy and save the day. Even angrier when he finds Fiddleford already rescued (Stan really is stealing his life here, and if he's not the hero than who is he? What was this all for?). But Fiddleford is happy to see him at least! His old friend, and together they can-

Ah. Fiddleford wants to go after Stanley. Cool. Cool. WHY!

Turns out Stans Super Mega Master Sword (which existence infuriates Ford further) is made of super rare materials and blessed by the goddesses. Its the Sword that can Cut through the Darkness, and as long as someone has the spirits blessings they can wield it. Good thing Stan got all that when he did all those temples huh? So whats the problem asks Ford?

The problem is that Stan is not a hero or someone protected by fate and reincarnation. He does not have any part of the triforce like WW Link. He's impressed the goddesses and spirits with his tenacity and ability to do what only the hero should do, but is still not the Hero, and if he uses that sword to take down Bill its a literal double edged sword. He'll slay the darkness and take himself out with it. Probably. Fiddlefords a little unsure on the details because he was possessed a little when he made it but something bad will happen for sure.

Well Fords angry at Stan but not so angry he wants his brother to kill himself doing Fords job. Its a rush to track them both down and of course Ford and Fiddleford show up mid battle, both demon king and Stan looking rough but still in it to win.

Only part i'm unsure of is how it'd all end. Does Ford swoop in and deal the final blow? Sealing Bill and then turning to yell at Stan for ignoring warnings and almost killing himself? Does Fiddleford get in the final strike, preventing the brothers fighting from costing them the battle? Does Stan strike Bill down, and either dies with him, gets his mind wiped as the cost for finally defeating evil, become the new vessel for evil (cutting it out of Bill and it latching onto him?), maybe dies and becomes the sword spirit, maybe the price is Stan being unable to wield a sword again, maybe Stan disappears in a flash of light and now Ford has to save him? Endless possibilities, and in the end Stan was never the hero for the right reasons, and he wasn't the Hero but he was the hero who saved the kingdom.

Now i'm kicking this thing out so i can get some actual work done around here.

[rextrafan]

The burn, no, the brand, is stark and sickening against the skin of Stanley's right shoulder. The skin there is raised and shiny, blisters freckle over the sharp slashing lines of the sigil. It was supposed to be protective, a warding symbol, but now it's seared into his twin's flesh. Ford wants to gag. Stan squirms a little, his hands fisted in the sweater thrown over his knees. “I'm guessing it's a little worse than a sunburn, huh?” 

— AME, chapter 11

@aroace-get-out-of-my-face throwing this at you and scurrying away like the little creature I am. I’ve had this specific kind of composition stuck in my head literally since I read the chapter and I finally decided last night to do the basic sketch for it. I told myself it’d take a couple days to do, I can take my time, there’s no rush or anything.

I. Uh. I did this in. Today. I did it all today.

[rextrafan]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT FINALE POLL 3

[Poll 1, Poll 2]

PROPAGANDA:

[Grunkle Ford]

"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."

"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.

reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.

one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"

so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."

"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."

[Garak]

"Because he would be soooo annoying about it and it would be funny."

[rextrafan]

The final push has arrived, gravity falls fans, we need you now

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT FINALE POLL 1

[Poll 2, Poll 3]

PROPAGANDA:

[Grunkle Ford]

"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."

"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.

reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.

one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"

so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."

"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."

[Julian]

"he is EXTREMELY submissive and breedable."

[submitted by @justanotherkathrynjanewayblog]

[rextrafan]

Hunger Games/ Gravity Falls AU

The Games Begin

(Hey so uh. Fair warning this one contains violence! Not a ton, surprisingly, but there is some and this IS the hunger games after all so please be aware. I wrote this in. Uh. In an hour as action scene practice, so it’s a little choppy on purpose. I promise, for now, this is not sad! I mean it’s sad in the case that this is the hunger games but this is not angst. Happy reading!)

Sixty seconds.

That's how long everyone has to wait, standing on a tiny platform of death, before the starting horn sounds and every tribute gets to run in whatever direction they please. Sixty seconds.

It's agony.

Stan reserves the right to call it agony. He'd call it torture, but the word agony seems like something Ford would say, and he's holding on to what he can.

The fish hook earring in his ear weighs down his earlobe just slightly. It's a pressure, a presence, and Stan is thankful it's there.

Fifty seconds.

The tributes, Stan included, are all standing in their little pedestals, stood up in a circle.

In the dead center of the field they are standing in, is a totem pole.

Its an eagle at the very top. With a huge grin and spread wings, and what might be a bunny underneath that.

At its base, piled high enough that Stan can't make out the bottom animal, are the supplies.

Boxes, crates full of things that Stan wants. Food, probably. Containers of water and weapons, every type of weapon imaginable, swords and spears and what looks to be a trident, and who knows what else.

Forty seconds.

Going for the supplies at the base of the totem pole is the stupidest choice Stan could possibly make.

Especially when there is a nice, easy to grab backpack laying innocently on the grass about half the distance to the totem pole.

Stan readjusts his feet on the pedestal, aiming.

The backpack has a sign pinned to it. On the sign is simply the number four.

Stan glances to the side. Every backpack around the totem pole has a sign, each designating it to a district.

That backpack is his. There's something in it that's worth grabbing. For him.

Please be rope. Please be rope. He wants to make a net.

The backpack is his. For his district.

Well, maybe also for Darlene.

For the first time, Stan looks up to the faces around him.

The girl next to him on his left is not Darlene. The boy next to her isn't either, but the girl on that boy's other side is short enough.

Stan can barely make out Darlene's ponytail.

The backpack is closest to him. She promised not to kill him first, so maybe if he grabs it, she won't stick a stick in his eye for it.

Stan's eyes drag around the circle, analyzing each face.

Thirty seconds.

There is a boy directly across from him. He's tall, that's all Stan can really make out. His distance vision isn't great. The boy is tall and he's pointing, right at Stan.

Stan squints, trying to make out his face. It's either the boy from eight, or it's one of the Careers, one or two, but Stan can't tell.

Then the boy slowly lifts his hand up, and mimes slicing across his throat.

Oh, Stan knows what that sign means.

Great. Thirty seconds in and someone's already decided to kill him first, absolutely wonderful.

Twenty seconds.

That backpack looks really tempting. Stan is absolutely sure that Darlene's seen it by now, and he glances over to be sure.

Instead of looking at bags, she's staring right at the totem pole up ahead.

No. No no no, bad idea.

Stan's not exactly sure if whistling to get her attention is a good idea or not, so he doesn't try it. Maybe if he thinks really hard at her, she'll magically be psychic for a second and understand.

Run. He tries to beam at her. Run away. To the trees. Away. Do not go for the death stick in the middle.

Ten seconds.

Stan's eyes snap back to the backpack with the four written on it.

It's a bad idea. He should run the exact opposite direction.

Five seconds.

This is going to be a bloodbath.

Three.

Stan takes a deep breath.

Two.

He hopes his parents and Shermie aren't watching.

One.

He misses Ford.

The horn sounds.

Stan is off.

He's down and off the platform faster than his direct neighbors and sprinting as fast as he can.

The bag. The bag the bag the bag.

Footsteps pound into the grass around him. Already, there is yelling.

No canons, but Stan hears the sound of someone die.

There is someone directly in front of him. Stan can only see their feet, his eyes still glued to the place in his vision where the bright four sign was a moment ago.

There is someone in front of him, and then there is not.

A tiny ball of speed and yelling crashes into the person reaching for his front.

Stan does not stop.

The bag. The bag the bag the bag.

He reaches it.

The bag is much bigger than it looked when he was on the pedestal. This bag is heavy, there's something weighty in it.

Now is not the time to check.

He got it he got the bag.

Stan turns, and there is screeching.

He knows this screeching.

It's Darlene.

She is sitting on someone's face down body, and she is slamming a knife repeatedly into the back of their neck and head.

Blood is gushing out of the gore she's making, spraying over herself and in fat, red droplets arcing into the sky.

She is yelling, and she continues to stab.

Stan runs.

On a backwards swing, he grabs her wrist to stop her. The body she's sitting on is dead, without a doubt, and she is a sitting duck, screaming away like an alarm.

Her head snaps on a swivel towards him.

Her eyes are huge and wide in her face. They are wild like a feral animal, and there is blood freckling all over her.

Her wrist is thin. The bone is fragile. Darlene looks like a monster.

She's just a little girl.

Her eyes are frightened.

There is a singular moment where Stan does not see Darlene in this battlefield arena of the Hunger Games.

He sees Ford's face, wide and scared, after an ocean swept thunderstorm, or a bad nightmare. Stan sees a child.

He shoves the backpack into Darlene's arms.

“Go!” He yells. His voice is heavy and loud and panicked and breaking.

Darlene goes.

She's fast. Faster than anyone else because she's so small. Stan does not have time to see where she runs.

Someone else dies to his left. A scream cut short.

He doesn't have a bag. He doesn't have a bag.

Stan's eyes dart, searching.

There is one more backpack, dead across from where he is.

Stan runs for it.

He almost trips over a body on the way there. He's exposed, empty handed, but there's not a damn thought in his head other than the renewed screaming of get the bag get the bag.

He reaches it. There is already a hand on it.

Stan snaps his head up.

It's a girl. Dark hair, bangs, and Stan cannot see her eyes.

The girl from District Ten. Emma something. She is gripping the bag in one hand, and she has something that glints like metal in the other.

He lets go of the bag.

He may be big, but he's fast enough to dodge when the girl shoots her arm out in a sideways, crazed swing. It misses, barely.

It's a hook. She's swinging a hook.

Stan jumps away. He spins, and Stan runs.

He's out of time. He's out of time and he doesn't have a bag, he's running.

There are trees right ahead of him. Huge sprawling trunks that go up taller than Stan can see, and he's not willing to waste the time to look up.

He needs to get out, he needs to get away.

He doesn't have a bag.

Something slams into his side.

It's a body, a clawing, yelling live one, and Stan's pinned on his side in the grass, fifteen feet from the tree-lined safety.

It's a girl that's clawing at him. Stan turns just in time to see that it's not one he recognizes, and its not one who's friendly.

She has a knife in one hand.

Stan does not feel bad for punching her as hard as he can in the face.

Something crunches under his middle knuckle, and the girl slumps off him immediately.

She happens to have a bag.

Stan wrenches it off of her so quickly that it knocks the dagger out of her fingers, and he grabs that too.

This bag is labeled as twelve. It's lighter than the four bag.

But a bag is a bag, and Stan takes it.

He runs into the woods.

He can still hear screaming behind him. He does not stop.

He runs until he slopes downward, until dirt and sticks under his boots become rocks, and the rocks turn slippery and there's a lake. There's water and it's a lake.

Stan doesn't even stop to think. He dives in, straight off the shore.

The water is cold, but not freezing, not as much as District four.

Stan has been swimming all his life. This is a stroke of perfect luck.

He swims, and he swims, and he doesn't stop until there are wet rocks under his hands again, and Stan drags himself up and out of the water on the opposite bank, a full lake in between him at the starting point.

It's a very big lake.

Stan has made it across.

At last, the rabbit-quick beating of his heart starts to slow.

He made it across.

He made it out of the launch zone.

He made it.

Welcome to the Hunger Games.

Lake water drips from Stan's face, and plops against the stones at his feet.

“May the odds be ever in your favor.” He whispers to himself.

[rextrafan]

narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

[rextrafan]

I know the election isn't over yet - just enjoy the crack.

A fun little gift for @illusioncanthurtme--art for getting me so invested in this silly little mpreg poll (and their delicious comic)

Stanley:

[rextrafan]

I know the election isn't over yet - just enjoy the crack.

A fun little gift for @illusioncanthurtme--art for getting me so invested in this silly little mpreg poll (and their delicious comic)

Stanley:

[rextrafan]

When people ask me what I've been drawing lately

[rextrafan]

“beauty and the beast” where beauty’s dad comes home with the rose and is like oh shit oh shit this terrible monster says i have to come live with him forever because i picked his favorite flower and beauty just goes fuck that and puts on her pants and marches down to the beast’s castle herself

and she’s expecting this horrifying dark fortress but it’s actually sort of just a normal castle with big rose bushes and furniture that’s sometimes alive

and she thinks, i can work with this

and the beast comes out and he’s like don’t look at me i am a hideous monster and beauty’s like dude you’re like a talking tiger in a cape are you kidding you’re AWESOME can i pet you can i stroke your paws can you give me a ride

and he’s like what and she goes around the castle like okay we’ll put curtains here and expand the kitchen and this could be a really cute breakfast nook

and the beast is confused because isn’t she supposed to be terrified and hate him and he had all these intimidating speeches planned and he’s like uh aren’t you going to try to run away

and beauty’s all are you kidding this is a magic castle i’m going to live here forever

so they just sort of settle in together and one day beauty goes home for the weekend to visit her family and they’re all amazed that she’s alive and her sisters go WHY DIDN’T THE HUGE MONSTER EAT YOU TO DEATH and she’s like nahhh he’s basically just a big cat he’s kind of cute actually sometimes he plays with yarn when he thinks i’m not looking

and she explains how it’s really not that bad, all the dishes wash themselves and i get all these gorgeous dresses for free because the castle doesn’t know what else to do with them and yeah there are flowers everywhere but hey that’s his hobby y’know i’m not gonna discourage that man

and then one day while beauty’s re-alphabetizing her magic library and trying to decide where to put that enchanted mirror the beast comes up and he’s like hey so this is awkward but are you like………………………………..in love with me……?????????

and beauty’s like oh uh wow haha um sorry no you’re…sort of a tiger

and the beast is like thank goodness because if you were i’d have to turn back into a human and i’ve kind of gotten used to being a big lion thing with horns and the ability to speak english for some reason like why would i want to go back to being a spindly little man and then beauty laughs and she’s like okay well can you go catch us a wild boar for dinner, dear

and they end up getting married in the end just because it’s easier to explain that way, you know, a single lady ~~living alone with a man~~ even if he’s not actually a man, and that’s fine with them because beauty was never really into the whole boys and sex thing and the beast (whose name is jeff) is honestly more interested in his flowers

and whenever any of the other ladies in the village give her any shit beauty is just like, oh, you don’t like my crepes? well you know my husband, who is literally a tiger, loves them and then everyone leaves her alone, which is really all she ever wanted

and she goes back to her magic castle and sits down with a book in front of the fire and rests her feet on her cat husband and nobody bothers her ever again

can that happen

[rextrafan]

me personally, if i worked my ass off for 30 years to fix a portal to get my brother back, almost got it shut down by the fbi and some kids, then got him back just for him to punch me in the face, id freak the fuck out. id break the fuck down right there in the basement. (someone should write this)

[rextrafan]

he may be your boss and hate you but at least he's bi

[rextrafan]

Every time I check the polls, it's rapidly changing, it's like watching a tennis match xD This morning it was 50/50, now its 55/45, and I have the feeling when I check the next day it will have changed again

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT GROUP TWO *FINALS

*The winner of this matchup will represent their bracket in the inter-group finale poll(s).

PROPAGANDA:

[Julian]

"he is EXTREMELY submissive and breedable."

[submitted by @justanotherkathrynjanewayblog]

[Odysseus]

"Look this is less about needing Odysseus to be pregnant (though I'm not disregarding the idea 👀) and more about believing that Penelope of Sparta is the og "if any woman could knock up her husband, it's her" type of woman and Odysseus would be 10000% down for it just because it's Penelope asking. Like yeah Epic the Musical is newly finished, but the tale of Odysseus simping for his wife and costing people their lives along the way back to her is over 2000 years old. (And I mean, they had mpreg stories back then, but it was like, Athena bursting out of Zeus' forehead 🤷)."

[rextrafan]

Now the question is, if the no-mpreg talk rules were there before the tournament or because of the tournament

So, I don't know if you know this but there's an Official Epic the Musical Discord Server that Jorge Rivera-Herrans (creater of Epic and voice/art reference of Odysseus) and a lot of the other actual Epic cast members are in.

I am in this server but I'm never active in it. However, as the person who submitted Epic Odysseus, it occurred to me that I should check if Odysseus being in this tournament broke containment into that server. And uh, it did. Apparently they've got rules in the server against talking about mpreg, but you can still find the receipts of mods/bots responding to people who posted the polls and asking them to remove them for rules reasons.

But I now have to sit here with myself and know that there is a non-zero chance that Jorge Rivera-Herrans himself might possibly know about the need-him-pregnant and that his blorbo is killing it.

Imagine if Odysseus won. What if Jorge got to see his character win. How many other characters do we have left where we realistically can say the creator of the character/media can see their man win this godforsaken tournament (affectionate).

You should all vote for Odysseus. It'd be hilarious.

Anyway I'm gonna go dig my grave now. I don't have enough shame to turn on anon but I do have enough shame to be embarrassed about the news of me trying to impregnate some famous guy's famous OC getting back to him.

LMAO if Jorge knows about this tournament... uh... sorry, bro. 😅