riezkttl

[riezkttl]

I looked at my mother because I was a version of my mother. I looked away from my mother because I was a version of my mother. I was me, but I was also her—my mother, and I understood this all too well.

— Nora Lange, "Dog Star", pub. The Rupture (#120)

[riezkttl]

"abortions are violent" birth is worse

"abortions are traumatic" birth has a higher trauma rate

"abortions are painful" birth is significantly worse

"abortions can botch your body" birth can result in a myriad of debilitating and life-altering disabilities and complications

"abortions can cause women to bleed out" the death rate is higher in birth

[riezkttl]

Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

[riezkttl]

i was always the person to overthink

tainted thoughts never just merely intruded my mind—it always left a black, tattooed stain

almost as if it were visible i could feel my thoughts marked onto my big, teenage-scarred forehead

as the needle scorched my forehead with every little letter, word, statement, phrase, mantra—subconsciously appearing in my mind

big, bold, italic, sans serif, arial

the entire collection of text was stamped into my mind, seeping forward to my blemished forehead

and soon enough, there would be no more headroom on my temple

after the needle made its divulgence,

i could feel the strokes of my psyche's quill—harshly making deep cuts from my forehead to my once tan cheeks.

the quill would signfy its end once i would grow to be numb to its scars

and then it would continue—the virulent quill continued its strokes down to my chin,

then my neck,

my collarbones,

my chest,

until it had sunk to the bottom of my big feet.

i was a muppet of my own gray matter—my own perception of myself took control of me like i was a marionette

which made sense—i was always known to participate in the arts, growing up

perhaps that's why i ended up painting myself a canvas.

[riezkttl]

we're still together—i would see you every single day, stare at your beautiful face in person,

feel your touch from 11 to 1,

feel your laughs and smiles and giggles

and warmth

yet i still miss your scent

i miss the way i'd feel your fingers around my waist

the way you would leave your head steady and comfortable on my shoulder

and you'd lead in and i would smell your heavy, deep masculine cologne

and we would just sit there in complete, utter silence

that was filled with i love yous

oh, if time wasn't so cruel

i would spend my forevers with you

i would savor every moment with you,

keep the taste of love in my mouth without feeling sour because i would always be so, so worried

but time was so kind to you

you were always so lovely to me, you understood me and reassured me

even when we were supposed to be living our teen lives, continuing to be infinite high school sweethearts

and, despite the thorns in our rose, i guess time was kind to us too

because my love for you only grew more and more everyday—and even though we have been more apart than ever, i've loved you more than i loved you ever

because i love you more than i did yesterday but less than i will tomorrow

love, your always & forever

[riezkttl]

hi rie😍😍😍 omg I am your biggest fan🥺🥺 I loveeeeed your last writing piece so much! you NEED to write more😞☃️ please

hello my biggest fan 🥰💚🥺 the real question is... when will YOU write more?!?!?! everything you write is gold and i would like to pls publish them. thanks 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍🥰

[riezkttl]

we romanticize love

the thought of being in someone's embrace and being peppered with compliments only ever makes us greedy and ignites our desire

a lit fire while we blabber about every tiny detail that occurred in our day while our significant other listens intently and smiles with love-filled eyes

yet when the fire slowly starts to burns out, the stress of being tied down to another gradually increases

until that one small campfire bursts into flames and seems to follow wherever you go

and your worries that had piled up eventually catches fire and causes you to explode

only for you to realize you had not only lost your significant other, but yourself too

and though it took forever to cool down, we end up at the same place—the desire to feel loved by another again, hoping it would only give ourselves closure

[riezkttl]

hi

HELLO!!!!