rizzless-trans-guy

[rizzless-trans-guy]

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

[rizzless-trans-guy]

My favourite photo from my holidays is this excellent piece of street art.

[rizzless-trans-guy]

“I hate school I’m sorry Malala”- Funny yet poignant. Acknowledges both the difficulty of the task and the fact that doing that task is a privilege. Gives credit to the people who fought for that privilege with a tongue in cheek acknowledgement of the irony of the initial statement

“I’m just a girl I should be home baking bread not doing calculus” - at best historically uninformed at worst leaps decades back in time. Refusal to acknowledge the charged history of education and slights the centuries of women’s labor it took to reach this point

[rizzless-trans-guy]

[rizzless-trans-guy]

Today is Wet Beast Wednesday!

Today’s wet beast is: Flame Angelfish

Olive’s wet beast fact: Contrary to its badass name, this fish is NOT on fire, as that is impossible in the ocean.

Stay tuned for more Wet Beast Wednesdays!

[rizzless-trans-guy]

i think trans people need more fun stereotypes. so many groups get at least one that is like, offensive but also kinda baffling, like "gays walk fast" or "germans are obsessed with efficiency." all we get are like "evil sex predator" shit

[rizzless-trans-guy]

in the 21st century you will either have to show mastercard video footage of your heterosexual christian marriage in order to unlock the copy and paste tools on your computer, or communism will make it so that you can get free surgery to add a knot to your dick. and you gotta choose which side you’re on pretty fuckin fast

[rizzless-trans-guy]

FTM PASSING ADVICE

- start wearing typically masculine clothing, like suits with wide shoulders

- people will tell you to not wear pinstripes because it'll make your chest and curves more obvious but think of it as a disguise to throw off their scent, like a zebra. it's urban camouflage

- start callin other men "boss" as a sign of respect

- always make sure to stay safe, keep a switchblade on you or a handgun or something

- consider your diet, work some carbs and fat in there for when T starts workin it's magic. im talkin pasta, pizza, lasagna

- tuck your hair up into a fedora if ya can't cut it

- remember to voice train, if you layer on an accent maybe it'll be less obvious, like a Brooklyn one if you're not already from there

- start snappin your rhythmically and intimidatingly when you find the poor bastard that owes the big man up top that several hundred grand who hasn't paid his dues yet. that'll show em who's the dominant man in the situation

- put a playlist of noir jazz music together and have it playing on your phone in your pocket so it follows you at all times, this is crucial to exuding masculine energy

- don't bind for more than 6-7 hours straight

[rizzless-trans-guy]

Hogfish (Lachnolaimus maximus), family Labridae, found in the western Atlantic, along the coasts of North and South America, and the Caribbean

Like many wrasses, this species is a protogynous sequential hermaphrodite. They start off their lives as females, and become males when they get older.

photograph by Albert Kok 

[rizzless-trans-guy]

Watch: John Cena continues, “So, let’s try this one more time. Close your eyes.” 

[rizzless-trans-guy]

REBLOG IF IT IS OKAY TO COME INTO YOUR INBOX AND SAY THE RANDOMEST SHIT I CAN THINK OF BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU.

[rizzless-trans-guy]

People actually do post like this on bluesky it rules

[rizzless-trans-guy]

i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking

what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp

like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have

like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious

now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude 

and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude 

and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker

and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey 

so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?

this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! 

[rizzless-trans-guy]

Saw an old lady today that looked like an old lady and was dressed like an old lady except she was wearing big goth stomping boots like this

[rizzless-trans-guy]

WORK HARD PARTY HARDER

[rizzless-trans-guy]

[rizzless-trans-guy]

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane