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I'm uncomfortable with how relatable this is because I have BEEN THERE

I just CHOPPED my hair at 3 AM in the midst of a bReAkDOwN. So yeah, I'm right on schedule.

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Ed: What have you got?

Al: Crippling anxiety.

Ed: I meant in your hand.

Al: Oh, it's a latte from Starbucks.

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My weather app be sending me air quality alerts like I'm gonna do something about it

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Ed: Can we get some food? Ling gets cranky.

Ling: Cranky?!

Ed: I was being nice. You're a whiny bitch.

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Al: Treat spiders how you would want to be treated.

Ed: Killed without hesitation.

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Ling: Wow, you have really fast reflexes!

Ed: Thanks! It's from the PTSD.

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Winry: What are you doing?

Ed, standing on a chair: I live here too, you know. I can do whatever I want.

Winry: ...Where's the spider?

Ed: Under the table.

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Royai Week 2019 - Day 3: Flashover

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Riza: We found the man who stole your identity and is impersonating you.

Roy: Where was he?

Riza: Eating cheetos and crying in his car.

Roy, impressed: He really went for it.

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Ed: We both know who's in charge.

Ling: ...Me, right?

Ed: Yes, you! Of course! Of course.

Ling:

Ed (whispering): ...Of course.

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Al: Have you proposed to Winry yet?

Ed: Not technically, but in my head we have three kids and a farm.

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The weird full metal animations are life

Full Metal Alchemist

*not my gifs

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Roy: Have you ever done this before?

Ed: Nope.

Roy: ...Should I be worried?

Ed: Probably.

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i think edward elric entire military experience can be summarized as john mulaney’s “horse loose in the hospital” bit

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Riza: Don't worry, Colonel, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Roy: I think you mean 'tricks.'

Riza, pulling knives out of her sleeve: No, I mean knives.

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Al: It's unhealthy to eat past 9 PM.

Ed, eating chocolate pudding at 3 AM: Good thing time is an illusion.