rockyrunrun - Tumblr blog

[rockyrunrun]

For the love of the game.

Everything I do in life has to do with basketball. I love basketball. Everything about it.

Success is never celebrated in my mind. Never. What’s more important than individual success is team success. You don’t win by winning by yourself.

Do you know about Michael Jordan had a special clause in his NBA contract? Did you know there’s such a clause named “For The Love of The Game” clause?

There’s no such thing as off-season, but professional athletes typically would try to protect themselves by not doing extreme sports so the teams are covered.

Not MJ.

Not the GOAT.

For the love of the game. No matter where and when, if he feels like playing basketball. Lace them up and come ball.

Besides Michael Jordan, even Kobe Bryant had said something basketball related to guide me through.

During this year’s NBA Finals, I sat there and watched the L’s the Warriors took all year. Would I sit there and enjoy it? No, but I would spend time to learn from it. You can never get better until you deal with a problem head on.

Lately I’ve been grinding just a little harder at work. I asked one of my co-workers today, “do you think I’m taking this as a job or as a career?”

For the love of the game. I love helping people. I love problem solving. I love guiding people and helping them make the correct decisions.

I love to teach. I want to make you better so you can be. I sacrifice my own lunch time to help my clients. I’ve never learned how to slack off. I only know how to get up and go.

That’s the love of the game.

I made mistakes, and I learned from it. I’m not afraid to hide it, nor am I afraid standing up for myself is completely incorrect.

Life is hard sometimes. People try to take advantage of you and it’s very cutthroat. Who you believe is your friend is not exactly that.

I try to get better all the time. But if you are doing that for yourself to make yourself feel better. I’m not down with it.

We don’t pick and choose who we face. You just learn how to deal with it.

I hate it when people find ways to hinder my work. Making me a lesser person. For their own ego, for their own personal gain, or just because they can’t deal with it.

I almost walked out on my job today. Almost. I feel squeezed. I feel like there’s no one there for me to help me up.

Back in March, back in 2017, I applied for this job to tell myself that I love banking and I do what I do because I can. I don’t mind carrying my mistakes and wanting to make everything better for everyone.

2018 was hard, near the end of the year, the whole team was disbanded based on either quitting or terminated. Letting me by myself and all to myself. The other co-worker of mine called in sick for 2 weeks and I had to handle every single person.

You’re only good for your current contract. No one is there to thank you for what you did to sacrifice for the team. Short term memories does that to you. Remember six months ago, not a single person walked up to me and said “dude, if it wasn’t you, there would be so many clients upset”. We talk about overall customer satisifaction and talked about how it started bad at the beginning of the year. Well, I was by myself 90% of the time, and the other 10% was virtually not there either. Simply because she picked and chose what she wanted to do, without repercussion.

So I said. Ok. Keep going forward.

Then now, I’m being judged based on my sales goals, which the company supposed to have zero standards on product pushing. Then I have a banker, who within the last month have refused to transition someone to me. At the same time, this person is doing exactly what my job is supposed to be.

What’s that supposed to say?

It’s almost midnight and I can’t sleep. I’m still pissed off. I don’t want to sleep.

I take a smaller and shorter lunch to help with my goals. Totally by my choice. But while other people are taking advantage of it.

I have so much on my mind and I just keep grinding. Almost breaking down. I refuse to give up.

So incomplete of a story. Ugh.

[rockyrunrun]

I don’t know what to write.

I took a quick look at what I used to write. Then I took a quick look again at to see what I used to do.

I ran a lot. I listened to a lot of music. I had my opinions and I never stopped changing.

A wise man once upon a time had told me. “Rocky, you can only charge so much, sometimes you need to take a step back to see what you’re doing, evaluate, then move up and charge again.”

I rested for awhile for a lot of things.

I rested for my running.

I rested for my health.

I took on a new role at work.

I talk like I’m stressed but realistically I enjoy every bit of it.

——-

Then comes a late night e-mail that I opened.

“Starting Nine Ambassador, Welcome To The..”

Wait. What?!?!

——

My first baseball game was actually at the Coluseum in Oakland. Matt Stairs, Mark McGwire both hit a homer that day. I played a lot of basketball at the time and my basketball coach said “Hey I got some tickets from a ball player that plays for Detroit, let’s go to the game.”

Who? I don’t know. I was in the 7th grade and any time that I get to go out, yeah I would go.

5th or 6th inning. This guy from the bullpen walked over and started talking to our coach. Signed some autographs. Chatted. I had no clue who this guy this, but he eventually went into the game in the 7th inning.

I left the game, not knowing the score, not knowing anything about baseball.

——

I used to wake up 6am every day. Eat a big breakfast, read the newspaper and look at box score. Warriors at that time was garbage. Only thing I see is - “Barry Bonds” this and that. Still not a fan.

Then one day at school. Coach said “Oh hey, not sure if you heard, but the guy that got us free tickets, he’s a Giant now”

Wait what.

Same team as that Barry Bonds guy?

——-

September 18th, 1997.

I got home from school. Early in the school year. I didn’t really care about anything.

Turned on the TV.

Oh it’s extra innings.

When they called it “The Brian Johnson game”, the game got me.

——

I have never been to The Stick. Probably one of my only regrets in life. That’s why I push everyone to go to Oracle Arena right now.

I’ve been to playoff games at AT&T Park (yeah I know it’s Oracle now, but just saying) but when the whole crowd cheers because this guy caught behind the plate for 12 innings and comes up, hits a WALK OFF homer to TIE the National League West in September? That’s baseball.

——

I was hooked. That home run made me a fan.

So when people ask how I became a Giants fan, there you have it.

——

Rocky Yip, 2019 The Giant Race, Starting 9 ambassador, use discount coupon code TGRROCKY5 for $5 off your entry.

[rockyrunrun]

Two weeks

Two weeks ago at this time I’m laying in bed. Just had dinner with my dad at his house, and just relaxing.

He left and went back to Hong Kong yesterday.

Sunday night at the airport, stayed there until about midnight. I hated to see him leave, but I know it’s just the matter of time before I see him again.

In 4 months, I’ll be 35.

Never did I think I’ll be where I am now.

I feel like there’s a lot of connections between him and I, or I find a way to make connections.

He’s my dad.

Two weeks felt like a blur and he’s gone.

[rockyrunrun]

Letter to my big bro, PKO.

2018, I set a lot of goals, but two of them stands out. One, write more (blog). Two, run more.

The last two months had been crazy. Lost my grandma in early December and I lost one of my best friends in early January.

To say it's a long "month" is an understatement.

I told myself that I'm going to write individual letters to people. People that might know me already, and some maybe are just people that I don't keep up with as much. My big brother, Patrick Ko, who recently passed away, he was actually the first one I was supposed to write to.

I never got to do it. Here it is, a late version.

Hey big bro, went up to the Oakland hills today and I hung out with you. Hung out with some friends yesterday and watched some wrestling yesterday and it sure feels a little different. You weren't there physically, but it reminds me a lot of when you were around.

Not a long has changed in the wrestling world. Remember back then when The Rock came back, you were in your room at my house, and that's when The Rock joined Twitter, and I screamed my ass off downstairs seeing Dwayne comes back, and I heard you run down the stairs to join me. Similar "pop" happened yesterday when we saw Vickie Guerrero came out. Matt and I ran up to each other, not with high five, but we hugged. I know I never got you your shirt, but I know, I know, I know. You know that I know that we know that I know you know, you know?

Hung out for a few minutes with your family today and they're doing well from what it seems. You being the youngest, so am I, I can understand the sorrow they're going through. They miss you. Heck, we all miss you.

I drove cap today from Victor's house. We drove all the way down International, through Lake Merritt and back. We stopped by so many places we have been through together. Ba Le, Ao Sen, taco truck in front of Goodwill, Lake Merritt, Whole Foods by Lake Merritt, Christ the Light... and yeah, we were looking around looking for you know you know what I mean I mean you know what I mean, you know?

Times have changed, feels so long but yet so short. I catch myself watching Monday night Raw last week wanting to text you. I find sayings and things that "what would PKO do" and "what would PKO say". Thank you for being a big brother to me. I'm still mad at Jacky wearing my shoes, but you're almost like the second Matt to me in my life. The last 10 years or so, we got so close and there's never really a day that you wouldn't reach out.

Even the two years when I was in Sacramento. Some dark days and non fun days of mine. You would just tell me to wait and work until I go back to home to hang out with you. Some quicklys, some Tap. If I was off on Saturday, you'd be the first one to say let's go to OTG and walk after.

I miss you bro. Not gonna lie to you. Theeee homo way too. I promise you I'll check in with your family when I can. I told Cap today, he better start going to Fentons with me on Sundays and we can visit you in the hills bro.

I originally thought I wanted to write to you first because I wanted you to be strong. I wanted to let you know 2018, when I run Chicago Marathon, I want you to train with me and push me. I don't know if I have the courage and strength to train and run the 26.2 miles in Chicago, but my brother, my guardian Angel, please look after me and guide me.

Training is going to be tough. None of the homeboys are exercise type (cardio wise, before Vic stabs me with a knife), and you were the closest that was there to help me train.

Look out for me from time to time? The days when I don't want to do it, or if I go through some minor setback, push me a bit?

26.2 in Chicago. I'll be wearing a KO shirt. For you holmes. However, before the actual 26.2, all that training. Please guide me.

I love you brother. Rest easy.

Forever your homie, best friend, friend, co-worker, church homie, god brother, acquaintance, fellow raider fan, fellow NYG fan, fellow WWe fan,

#RestEasyPKO

[rockyrunrun]

Achieve Greatness.

Spent an entire day today hanging out with my friends.  Did some eating, some cooking, some drinking and just hanging out.

2017 had been a tough year after all.  I’ve already said how much I wanted it to be over.

Changes.

Lots of changes.

Achieving greatness is something we all strive for, right? 

A couple of days ago, I met someone who works as an executive assistant for this guy that has a high net worth.  I was envious how her bonus was entirely higher than my whole year’s salary.  Then it made me realize what I have already.

34 years old.  I have my own house.  I have my own car.  I have a decent job and living in the Bay Area, that’s not bad at all.  If I was to receive a large chunk of money as a bonus.  What would I do?  I’m not at the age to have a surplus of money, there is just no way that I would be OK with that.  I contribute myself to my 401k savings plan, I try my best to save money and do good deeds as much as possible.

But what’s really happiness and greatness for me?

Two years ago, I chased a girl and went to Sacramento.  I switched careers.  I used to spend tons of money on items such as shoes, clothes and well, more shoes and more clothes.  For what reason, I don’t know.

These days all I think about is my next step.  What can I do at my job that can make me a better person, a contributor to the society?

This lady that I met was just another normal customer of ours.  I actually have never met her before.  She came to my desk by chance.  I talked to her about what she does for a living and how she ends up with a large sum in bonus.

She started telling me how good of a boss she has and how she got into the job.  Told me how she got that job and it was luck.

Then.  Something clicked in my head.

Materialistic things that I’ve done this year’s past?  I flew to Hong Kong, Japan for a vacation. I set myself with a goal to run in Hong Kong Marathon.  I vouched that I will come back to the Bay Area from Sacramento and try switching companies.  I worked hard enough to enjoy what I have.  

Again, 34 years old with a home and a car.  How can you say that’s not a good life?

I’ve always wanted to see the world a little bit more and I feel like I accomplished that when I was walking around Tokyo.  When you start seeing things in a different perspective and a new world, you think different.

I started cooking a bit more simply because I like to do so.  I’ve been to a couple more Hip Hop concerts because that’s what I do.  

You know, my favorite part of this year was that I went to Las Vegas to see Jay Z.  Yeah, I lost some money there from the tables and sports gambling, but think about it, when you get an opportunity to fly to another location to watch your favorite rapper.  Who gets to do that?

I’m also a firm believer in karma.  I feel like I have never screwed over anyone’s finances in all these years as a banker.  I work hard and I never really complain.  Do I feel like I deserve a bigger role?  Of course.

Then here comes the divide.

A bigger role means more responsibility.  I have never backed out of a challenge that I feel like I can’t handle.  I keep working hard not only because I want to, but it’s for the people, right?

Same day, I helped a family of four.  The youngest kid just started a job and wanted to set up direct deposit.  That’s it.  Typically, you wouldn’t try to give yourself an opportunity to educate the customer a lot since he is only 16 years old.

However.

I exceeded expectations in what I did and I tried my best to make things better.  It’s his first bank account and I wanted to make sure he has no doubts and questions before he left.  I consistently talked to the mom and dad also to keep the conversation engaging.  Then, 45 minutes later, account was open and then an hour from then, the dad e-mailed me back.  

He couldn’t thank me enough.  They probably felt that I went above and beyond for the kid and that I kept it light.  The kid was sick and when he couldn’t stop coughing, I offered water and told him to get some fresh air.  Oh year, while at this point there were still people waiting in the lobby to get helped.

So what is greatness for me?

Greatness is a way to express myself.  The joy from within.  I was proud the fact that I helped out this kid, who is 16 with a brand new bank account.  Just wanted to make sure everything was good.

JUST LET ME BE GREAT.

[rockyrunrun]

Back at it.

2017, I really can’t wait until it’s over.

It’s been so weird of a year and I don’t know how to overcome it. I just simply want it to end. Some Ups, lots of Downs.

Good: I moved home from Sacramento. I went to watch tons of Hip Hop. Got a new job and quit the theater. I was selected for Chicago Marathon for 2018.

Bad: I lost my grandma. Ups and downs everywhere. I gained tons of weight. The Giants, the Raiders and sports in general just blah. I stopped running as much as injuries piled on.

So, solutions? It’s weird how I began this year by saying I’m going to blog more about music, but turns out, I just went to a bunch of shows. I went to Hiero Day, Outside Lands, watched Lupe, JayZ, Black Star, Dilated Peoples just to name a few.

I said 2017 is my last year of full time running some races. If people end on a PR, I did just the reverse. I had the most terrible runs of my courses. I finished Giant Race in almost 3 hours. It was ridiculous. However, plantar fasciitis is no joke and I really took time off to rest from it.

So, I lied.

I signed up for Bank if America Chicago Marathon in October. The drawing was easy and I got in. It’s in Chicago, not to only visit the Mecca of Basketball and the Jordan statue, I will run the streets of Chi-Town. 26.2 miles.

I know I need to train and I will. And I’m going to start early. I plan on PR’ing every build up race before I run Chicago. I just need to get it.

So, now that’s fixed.

Here’s about work.

My new job doesn’t suck. It’s rather good. However, it is sometimes quite hard for me to understand certain policies and procedures since I haven’t been around it.

I remembered I actually cried in my sleep and was so stressed for about the first year with Wells Fargo.

It’s not an easy transition.

I still struggle.

But knowing myself, I keep improving and I will demolish all and get only better. Everyday I will get a little better.

I want to work harder at everything but it all starts with my health. Once I recover from this flu, I will get better.

No need for more excuses. Time to get to work.

Starting new year resolution in December 2017.

[rockyrunrun]

The Decision.

Beginning of 2017, I was in Sacramento, still looking forwards for a chance to chase a dream and working hard and looking for a promotion. In early March, I took my talents back to the Bay Area and got hired for the new job. Then 2 months of licensing and another month of training, July 24, 2017. I made a decision. I'm leaving a job that I've had since April 13th, 2001 and I'm going to leave it all out on this blog. Reason being? I loved it for a lot of years and I want to remember what I can remember. So if there were anyone and anything that you can blame me for, then, here's my side of the story. 16 years at a company, I think I have the rights to say whatever I want to say. '''Twas was the day that was senior year in high school. I went and started looking for a job because I chose to go to Chabot College, a community college local to most of the East Bay. I went in, first one I met was the General Manager, Eric Martin. When anyone ever talks about first impression, that guy impressed me. I was a 17 year old, looking for a job with no resume in hand. He professionally told me to fill out an application and asked if I wanted to be interviewed immediately. "Sure, let's do it." Two days later I was sitting in the middle of a store front inside Bayfair Mall going through orientation with a bunch of other future co-workers. First person I met, Nam Huynh. We eventually even served popcorn and trained together in Union City. We took over the A side and we had tons of fun. If you want to teach your employees to upsell, just say "managers said if we don't make enough profit, they won't give us raises". Never not upsold ever since then. I met a lot of people like Yolanda, and later on "Army" (yeah I graced him that name) and also Soap, his friends, his family. Hell, we even joked and called ourselves a race team, "Century B16" as in Bayfair 16. The chance came around August, Rush Hour 2 weekend. One of the managers asked if I was interested in working in the booth, turned out to be one of my future best friends, Marvin Capistrano. On to the booth I went. Talking about building up movies, breaking down movies, hanging out with Duane talking about Pootie Tang. Man, crazy days. First time I ever built a movie was, Zoolander. Dry runs after dry runs, hot print break downs on Thursday. I slowly but surely deterred from going to school. Then, a GM put me on probation and wanted to fire me. I will never forget this, simply because I wasn't properly trained and this 30 day probation, I lasted longer than the GM and his crew. I learned one important thing, training. Which is also another thing that I've learned, to be a people's person. Next GM came, Charles, I breezed through it and apparently we were doing a bad job. Let me remind you, at the time, the ATM at Bayfair was stolen!!!! Then, during that time I met my little big sister Erica. Although we didn't exactly work together all the time but we were always close. I love Erica to death. She's definitely bff status. Meanwhile, supposedly the theater wasn't doing good, so this Latino dude name Lazaro came along, and this other Asian ricerocket driving dude name Anthony Tan came about... with Brian Pacquing.... The rest was history. Rios, if you ever get to read this, I still hate you for making me cry. But it was definitely tough love. I learned the most from him. I learned how to be tough on someone, but real. You can't yell at someone that consistently yell, nags and bitch about things. You MUST teach. For that, Rios, I forever owe you. To Anthony Tan, you taught a young kid what's right and what wrong. You taught me how to grow up and be a man. I might not always understand you at the time, but boy I sure received the message. Rios did good and took over and taught me how to be good, but when it was his time to leave, here comes Julius. David Wilson-Scott bka Julius Pirie Scott, you are way beyond a father figure to me and even more as a brother. You taught me how to trust my skills and be great. We went to see Usher, we saw Kanye, and we saw riots at the theater, but you taught me everything and you did not hold back any knowledge. I learned from you to give your knowledge out unconditionally. Thank you. Then, it was time for me to leave. Cinedome 8 East Fremont. Ben Lin, Montry Souvanthong, Ashley Perreira. You three were more than what I can ask for from a new GM, Ben knowing me the most by working with me at Bayfair but the other two kept me sane. Jeff Herzstein, thank you for trusting a 21 year old kid to tell you to spread your wings and trust your skills, thank you for helping me become a fair and smart GM. Adam Bebee and Adam Bauer, you guys were good and ya two taught me how to be a fair GM and I love the fact that you guys gave me respect. To the late Jane Benjamin, may you Rest In Peace, or well, keep going to forever create havoc! I love you Jane, I love the fact that you wanted to work and you love me and respected me. When everyone told me to avoid you, I didn't, I got close to you. Thank you for the countless meals of country way, Disneyland Mickey ears and the bottle of champagne for the holidays. I love you. I hope you look after me. Two years later, when Cinemark came running and bought out Century. I took my talents to Union Landing. Jacqueline Brooks, for the record, I hate you as a co-worker, but I love you as a brother. We never get along not because we have differences, but we don't get along because we all want to look out for each other. Two years at 25 made me love you like you're the big sister I never had. To Leticia Gonzalez Solis, you, you're a beast. Hug hug, kiss kiss, little hug big kiss little kiss. I taught you everything I got and you gave me all your effort every day. Out of all people that followed me, you were not the smartest but I know 100% you worked the hardest. Baby boy Ali, I know you got my back and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me, but trust me, if you ever need anything, you know I for damn sure wish that was me that took that bottle to the head instead of you. The two years of 25 was so good, it exhibited my skills. Then I earned a promotion to open my own theater. For the fucking record. These years at Hayward, forever let me say what I feel, because I am, and still am very angry about the process on how and what happened. First, when the audit program happened, I was opening the theater. Second, my self destruction and choice of going back to school was directly affected by Cinemark. I opened the theater, the shopping complex and the recession hit hard, so the projected attendance was short by almost 40%. It was 2008. Then Cinemark gave all the managers in the Bay Area reduction in geographical allowance. Mind you, all managers in the Bay Area were "century" pat while I was "Cinemark" pay but the cut was all across, so I got less money. Not to mention, the first day the paycut happened was at a Cinemark conference, that's not encouraging to me. Not to mention, my superior discouraged me for getting higher education, simply telling me to focus more at work and talk about how great advancement is. Then came the budgeting process, I was compared to a 8 screen cinedome on payroll, to reduce payroll at a new location, I was told to also act as the MR guy and the GM 5 days a week during slow season. Then I was blamed for lack of production, bad audit scores, no bonus and also more paycuts. 1600 bi-weekly check to 1200 when I decided to leave. So I'm tired of people saying "you were never there" or "you fucked up the payroll", because I didn't. Snitches gets stitches and even if I blamed my regional manager or higher ups, the small potato in me would never win. The Cinemark algorithm on reduce cost of living in 2009, made us, the managers get a pay cut. I have yet seen the facts and studies. And the small potato in me never mattered. Cinemark, century pay grade, they didn't care. For the second time I'm mentioning it, you take 1/4 of my paycheck and decrease my pay within 3 years, trust me, you would be as mad as me. I did have a good time at Hayward because it was challenging, look at it now, not too shabby, but I hate it. While I was working at this location. I lost my girlfriend. I never get to see her and I was stressed all the time. Don't like Hayward. The city hall wanted the theater to play at least 2-4 art films every week, so they can "attract" people. I was invited to the city hall meeting to have almost 2 hours to answer the fine citizens of Hayward on how a movie theater should be ran. Same people that discouraged me to be around and just wanted things their way. Not a happy place. Then due to poor mid 80s audit scores, I was told that I would have no chance to survive as a general manager, for the third time, let me remind you that you lost 1/4 of your pay at the same time since the beginning. I chose to go to Fremont. I will end this chapter like this. Fremont. It was a time for me to leave the moment I got there. Jason Cardosa, I gave you my all. I don't like to belittle people and it doesn't make me feel good. Countless times I was reminded how poorly I ran Hayward and how much I wasn't trustworthy enough to run a department, while every single department I ran was the best that you ever got when I was there. Strange. Apparently because I have GM experience then it's expected. I know I got skills, but you never really cared and tried to find a solution to solve the issue. You provide patchwork and I provide solutions. We had our differences, but it was much like Jackie and I, because we care. You stuck with me for 2 more years and how ungrateful am I but to leave you so shortly and with pretty close to no notice. I popped my last batch of popcorn, sold my last ticket and used my last set of movie theater broom. I don't care what anyone says, you out of every one that I know have the best potential and you're definitely not too young for a regional leader role, but be personable. That's what Farley taught me. Be there for your people and understand how they feel. I got to know you so much more when we went to watch Oblivion in LA and that was a good trip. I was happy we made that trip because I feel like you actually do care about people, but try that on some other people, they respect you more that way. To every single person I've trained, thank you for listening. To everyone that I screwed over. 16 years later, I am 100% proud to say that I don't have any. So, boom. Cinemark, Century, thanks for the memories. Notice I put all the memories on people? The people made it for me. The lives that I made better and taught, I'm proud of that. I always said I'll go back to Bayfair and kiss the floor before I quit. Well, I'll officially do that on Friday, but 100%, my theater life is done and thank you all.

[rockyrunrun]

20 years ago.

Brian Johnson.  You would know him by September 18th, 1997, a 12th inning homerun to send the Giants to a tie for the NL West that day.

For me? It’s a much longer story.

How did you fall in love with baseball?  How did you fall in love with a sport?

For me, it started on June 2nd, 1997.  My 8th grade basketball coach at the time and a bunch of my teammates were invited to go to the Oakland Coliseum to watch a baseball game.  I had no idea how and what baseball is.  It’s an event I’ve never been to, so I obliged and went.  I was told my coach is good friends is really close to one of the players for the Detroit Tigers.

I was amazed and remember Mark McGwire hitting a homerun, a Matt Stairs pinch hit homerun and some guy that came to us and gave us some baseball and signed some autographs.  The “coach” even put him in late in the game.  His name, Brian Johnson.

When you’re young, you don’t think about who and what he is.  Although Brian never had a career that was hall of fame caliber, but I paid attention.  There was no internet back then and I wouldn’t spend my time looking up Brian Johnson, but I forever remember that he gave us tickets to go to the game.

It’s strange how it all turned out.  

I remember like it was yesterday.  I was coming home from the high school.  September 18th, 1997.  I remember going into extra innings.  I remember when the late Rod Beck when he pitched the top 10th and the bases were loaded.  Grounder to second, to home, to first for an inning ending double play.  While Dusty was in the dugout pumping his fist and raising both arms in the air.  Then, the perfect ending to me.  12th inning walk off homerun, by my hero, Brian Johnson.  Oh yeah, it was against the Dodgers.  

As you can tell, these moments, when you’re a freshman in high school, you would remember and you would forever cherish.  

In the early 2000s, I started working and started going to the games.  I used to go 20 games a year to Pac Bell Park and then, 2010, 2012, 2014.  Bonds squad chasing 755.  Lincecum’s arrival.  Matt Cain’s first game.  Watching 660 sail over McCovey Cove.  Running numerous Giant Races.  

It was all because of this one guy name Brian Johnson.  20 years later, thank you Brian.  Your homerun that day at The Stick had made me into a Giants fan for life.  I plan on sending you, the Giants, the coaches, Dusty and some other players and coaches that might still be around.  I’m 100% sure this is not the first time they heard this, but Brian had made me into a die-hard Giants fan.  

Thank you Brian.  Words cannot explain how much I love the Giants (and hate the Dodgers) because of you.  I’m honored and feel like your presence on TV the other night was so insightful and so proud of the game.

I’m proud of you.  Thank you.

If anyone ask me, loud and proud, I would tell them you are the reason why I love the Giants.

So, how about you, how did you fall in love with baseball?

[rockyrunrun]

It's bigger than us/4:44

If you don't have Tidal or haven't heard the new Jay-Z album, this will get you to think about music a little more before preparing yourself for my next blog, which I will fully detail explain the my perspective on 4:44. The tour was announced today and 2 hours later, I found myself purchasing tickets to go see it in Las Vegas. Yeah, I'm crazy like that. Lately I've been asked what changed about me. What can I see and what had made me a little different? It's maturity or is it something else? Let's explain Jay-Z first. Reasonable Doubt was about him being a hustler, blueprint 1, blueprint 2, blueprint 3, he's not a businessman, he's a business, man. 47 years old, Jay-Z. No longer needs to brag about his old life, but his new life, the father of 3 and admitted that him and Beyoncé had beef at one point, well, by doing guy things. 4:44 was a different perspective. HOV is grown, HOV is different and he's talking about investing in buildings and paintings. He reminisces about Marcy in Marcy Me, but is it really the same? Which leads me to think about something. May be it is time for me to pursue someone with the intention to settle down. It's bigger than me, but timing sounds to be closer to being the right time now. I want to move on up and be the next part of life. 33 with a house and a nice car. I dig it. But if I turn 40 with no wife, no kids, something is wrong. I fall in love with things easily. I love it when things are catching my eye. I'm a very impulse buyer on things. But then. I've never loved one thing in my life than sneakers. I've never loved someone else than this girl that I was with for 11 years. However. As I try to get my health back and find a better future for myself and my future family. I realize one thing. My Act 2 is just starting. I've been looking forwards to Friday. For many reasons. I love The a Roots and it's all jawn. Everything hopefully falls into place. But yet, I feel like this is what I exactly needed. Cryptic much? Well, I might be looking forwards to Friday because I think it would be awesome. But I'm in my making money stage. I just wish I can hold her. Vegas is end of October. Awe.

[rockyrunrun]

Friday wrap up....

So sitting on Bart for the third day in a row. Third day traveling to Oakland from Union City for training for my new job. Almost done with training. Pretty soon I'll be seeing customers, pretty excited. But then something happened yesterday and I started talking to different people about goals in life, which leads me to something that I rarely talk about, which is success. How do you measure your success? If I make 75k a year, have a decent job and with a couple of kids, healthy family, "I'm good"? But then you start thinking about more things, the way you measure your success does not necessarily have to be money related. You can be successful by helping people and making a difference. I always say "you are who you are with your peers". If your circle of friends, family and co-workers are the same level as you and do the exact same thing, you will always be in that circle. But for why and for what does it really mean? If you are failing in life, you are more likely to bring your friends and family down with you. It's a natural way to think. Everything between friends and family is a competition. Actually, in general, everyone is natural to compete. But then, the flip side is, if your friends and family are failing, they might not want you to be successful so that they can feel better about themselves. 🤔 So, think about it and be a little more realistic about your own goal and your own life. What do you want to do. "Oh yeah I'll fix it two weeks from now". "Starting Monday". "I'll quit smoking in 2018". Why wait and give yourself an excuse and unreasonable time frame? Wrap it up now and move on forward. Let's get it, every second, every minute, every moment.

[rockyrunrun]

...and so I've been told

I was told by someone's mom and dad that I'll never be good enough for your daughter. I've been told that I was just chasing a dream. I could never go back in time to Sacramento and bring what her and I had before to back in the days. I. Made. My. Decisions. 5th grade, I abruptly left Hong Kong to go to the United States, not by my choice since my family planned this immigration to come to America. I had no friends. I spoke limited English. I don't ever get offended when someone tells me that my English isn't good enough. Reason is, I wasn't born here and this is not my first language. All I knew, was a comic book from Japan called Slam Dunk. 10 years old and not knowing much about the culture, my best friend at the time, was simply just a basketball. No one taught me how to play basketball, but I played everyday since it was the only thing that I know what to do. I had no idea what basketball is besides just the ball. I didn't know the rules, I didn't know what's good and what's bad. My family was new to America and we did not have cable television. So, I did not know Run TMC. Whenever a basketball game from this "Golden State" team was on channel 36, I'd watch it, but they suck and lose all the time. Then it all clicked. I've been an underdog plenty of times in my life. People in general like to see you fail. People rather see you fail so they can fail also so they can feel better about themselves. Onward to We Believe year, I was already working, English is fluent. I can honestly claim that I was there during the suffering years. After that season, it took the Warriors many years before they got back. Well, now two championships in three years. Then.... What now? What's your point? I don't understand how people like to feed off their negativity to other people for their own shortcomings. If I go to the casino and lose $500 and my friend is up $1000. I'll be happy for them. Doesn't hurt my feelings. If it's the other way around, how happy are they for you? I know so and I can't deny it. I've changed a lot in 2017. Certain things I have chosen to adjust. I go to church more, got a new job, working extra. Most importantly. I'm not going to deny it. Looking for a soulmate. I'm looking now. There's a girl that I was with and chased for many years. Today would've been 13 years, but I made up my mind to not follow through with it. I don't wish negativity. I just wish to find joy. I like my life the way it is right now and I just want to have some positivity in my life. I've been told that I made some wrong decisions in my life. I don't choose to be different. I didn't ask to be a Warriors fan, but I did. End of the day, if it goes bad, I'll live with it. If it doesn't, well, it'll be that much better. Onward.

[rockyrunrun]

...and so it begins

Love your life. Live it. It's been a long road and I'm finally here. This past Tuesday, I passed my final licensing exam and I actually can say I did very well in it. 60% passing and I ended up wth I think 78%. When I received my score for my last exam, it was just so much pressure, all letting go at the same time. I went to the cemetery with a cup of tea and a pastry. Hung out with Kim for a bit and then I finished up my paperwork. Then I went home. I slept well that night. Went to work the next day and my manager asked if I wanted the rest of the week off, welp, yes. I don't think I was mentally ready to see customers. I was, well, still a little bit, burnt out from all the extra time and effort I put in for study. I went to the gym, stayed in the sauna, got home. I slept so well last night. I am at a point that if I want to pursue more, then its my choice. I got into it with some folks this past week. I gained some friendship and lost some. I was talking to a friend last night and him and I both agreed that I grew up a little. Then to now. Maybe it is finally time for me to think about my future. What is it I want for the rest of my life and who I want to spend it with. There's this girl that I feel like she's really pretty and I want to see if I can date her, but she's always busy. We will see about that. There's this girl that I used to date, but in simple words, let's just say it's broken. Back at my house. No rent, no car note. My money will flow right really soon. Then, there's me. Notice I feel like I should be last. Oh man, so much more to say, but let's get a blog in this week that's more structural. I'll be writing!

[rockyrunrun]

Everything I'm not..

... made me everything I am. 66.7% done. Two licenses in. One more to go. Maybe it's finally time for me to reconsider certain things in my life. Someone reached out to me today asking me a couple of things about how my life is with the new job. Needless to say, don't have much to say really, simply because I haven't exactly started yet. Then now. Next Wednesday, 9am, taking my final license that I need for this new role. Should be easy, but I'm definitely not taking any chances, so I'll be studying this weekend to make sure 100% that I pass it. 75 questions in 90 minutes with a passing score of 60%. Should be easy. What's not easy? Change. Another friend reached out to me the other day. She's amazing. I have never felt so much positivity out of someone. Then when I got home. I asked myself something.... "What's next?" ...... ............... I always like to be successful, but what measures success? I'm blessed to be back in The Bay, I don't know how many times I've said it. Nothing is like home. Then I ask myself. Maybe it's time for me to actually try to find someone to have that person in my life. Couple years from now maybe I'll be a daddy and actually be someone. Then reality sinks in. 1, I'm actually quite happy about being single. New job and new environment, I'm happy that I get to tackle this first. If my salary is about where I want it. This is a solid foundation of where I want to be in the future. 2, about growing up some more and have a family. September comes around I'll be 34. It's time, but I shouldn't rush it. I've always said that I never want to bring a child in this world unless I'm financially stable enough to have my child get the best from me. 3, it's part of life that I need to experience. Then back to reality. It all starts with this weekend. Last weekend to study. I'm happy. ☺️

[rockyrunrun]

Training for a PR?

Life had been crazy, but this blog will be a double dose of life with a super dose of a race. Ever since I left Sacramento in March and came back to my home in the East Bay, I've been slacking on running. There were numerous factors that I stopped running as much as I used to, but here I am now. PR? What is a PR? Personal record. Wait, me? Yes. All these years of running, I have never set a time on finishing. My first half marathon for SF Marathon years ago, I "just wanted to finish". Three years later, I find myself running the same races. Then, I started to slack off... It's about time to change that. I don't have a time for this new PR, you can take this as a "restart" in my life for running. Giant Race San Francisco. I'm coming and you can't stop me from running my best race ever. Back to running as hard as I want and as quick as I can, it's not about that. Ask yourself this, when was the last time you went for a run? Even if you do a quarter of a mile today, that's even more than yesterday. Anyways. Time to rest the body and let the training start tomorrow. I do it for you.

[rockyrunrun]

Dear ___________,

Never felt like a religious person before, but all my life had been revolved around Christianity. Glory to you, Lord. Feels like these last two years was planned by you. I was in a long relationship. I didn't want it to end. I went to Sacramento to pursue a dream that can continue. We got close and both of us are back in The Bay, future uncertain, but that's not what I'm thinking about. It's sad to leave a long relationship and try to get it back. I was Right years ago, once it shatters, it just won't be the same anymore. Please guide me on how to let it go. I was and still am at a quite dead end job. I wasn't happy. I can't see myself with a future with the company. It started off when I went to Sacramento and through a new career, I found myself again, thank you. I was always a go-getter, always looking for ways to sharpen my skills and move forward. Never, do I ever, want to be the one that's following. For that change, I thank you Lord and the rest of my co-workers and new friends along the way. Two years later, I thank you. Again, wouldn't have started if I wasn't chasing this girl. 2017, how can you do me like this? I took it up the you know what and you know who and definitely the you know how from you. I left Wells Fargo, I left Sacramento. The best part of them all, I was hired by Chase. These last two months or so had been rough. A lot of studying, a lot of coffee and a lot of well, the lack thereof sleep. I'm stressed every night, not knowing if I could be successful. If I don't pass, I'm gone, back to unemployment or well, back to that "career" at the theater. Then came a Friday. After a month of studying on my own, paid for four weeks to study. I went to this testing center in Alameda. Before that, I went to visit Kim and I decided to give it my all. Trust me, I'm not that religious of a person, Lord. I'm shameful to say it too. 105 questions, 35 marked as "not sure", and correct 27-30 of them. 71%. I passed. How? So here I am on a Wednesday afternoon. This time, I'm more prepared on the material, but the mission remains the same. I just want to pass. I went from a miserable boyfriend, miserable in life and having now, being single and loving life, this would help me. Dear Lord, please guide me and give me strength for tomorrow. I don't know what's going to happen, I'm confident, but your help would definitely give me a boost. I give you my all. Glory to you Lord.

[rockyrunrun]

I tend to worry...

About things I cannot control. But, I also worry about things that I can control, but I am not controlling. Wait, what? Then I don't know why, I dropped a quote on myself.... "I'm no longer afraid of failure. I'm afraid of not trying hard enough." Trust me folks, I'm trying. Over the weekend, I thought about a lot and I can honestly say I was scared. Scared of what, I asked myself.... Uncertainty. Things that are out of my control. Then I thought of you. I went to you on Sunday, not because it's the right thing to do anyways, but I genuinely have a concern and I wanted to address it. I spoke to you with a true concern. I'm scared, Lord. Then I asked myself. "Roc, you failed before, but just make sure you don't fail this one." Truthfully speaking, from what I hear and what I can tell right now, 72% is very attainable. I can get in trouble just by talking about it, so let's not. But I asked myself something that I don't talk about a lot. "Are you a smart kid?" So, then dialing back to being born and raised in Hong Kong, I have a tendency to think so. Sadly, I feel like I'm smart in another way. Street smart. You can't give me a book, I need repetition then I'll master it. No one taught me how to play basketball, I just kept playing. Sadly, won't work for this one. I went from 50s to 60s to now almost 70s in my exams. With two more studying days to go, I'd think I can do it. But then.... Have some faith in yourself Roc. And pray. Leave it up to me, I'll just say "you got it Roc", but man is it tough to be scared, very much so. I wish sometimes I have someone to be with right now. Someone that I can share this struggle with, but then I also know it's not fair if I just mood swing and not follow through with it. The foundation of a relationship in my mind is openness towards each other. I wouldn't be right now. But again, being solo isn't so bad. Gets me more focused. Anyways, I'll be lucky if I get a solid 5 hours of sleep in, let's try that. Good night world. Stay beautiful.

[rockyrunrun]

Home stretch

Friday night.  Hanging out at a place where I can study.  Is this what grown ups do or is it just because... it’s my choice?

The negative - people would say I’m reaching out for attention.  I definitely am.  Yeah.  Did I get your attention now?  No.  Not really.

I have 300 followers on IG, 500 friends on Facebook and I think 400 followers on Twitter.  I don’t think I want to reach out to them just because I can.  This blog is for me.  Whoever wants to read can read, and if you want to like it, read it, go for it.  I’m not against it.  You do you, I do me.

Wait, this has nothing to do with “home stretch” and my title.  So what am I talking about?  Think of it like this - you would assume, “Rocky is just stressed from his licensing exam, and has no clue what he is talking about.” 

“He’s mood-swinging”.

“He’s not paying attention.”

“He’s not listening.”

I can’t say I am, and I can’t say I’m not.  I can’t say I’m not stressed, because I am.

I keep waking up and thinking “is this over soon?”, but I want to be successful at the end and not giving myself an excuse to not be successful.

A week ago, man, I could’ve been back at the theater full time.  Then the magical 71% happened and I have finally moved on to the next part of this 3 course menu of Doo Doo.

Yeah, I get to sit down all day and play with my computer and study and such, but yet....

It’s a tough task when you have no idea what you’re doing.  

Read a book, put it in your head, it’s that simple.

NOT.

All I know is, I’m in a very good situation.  This new job potentially is down the street from my house and a 10 minute drive for work without going on the freeway.  

I can potentially make more money than ever before.  

9-6 with two days off.  Working at the theater as a side-gig for now until I can’t handle it anymore, or when I find stability in the new job.

Then, what’s next?

I’m not proud of doing certain things in my life.  I’m ashamed of it, matter of fact.  I’ve let people down, and I’m talking about tons of them.  Then, now that I realize something.

#SilenceTheNoise

When I first started running, it was because I couldn’t wake up without coughing my lung out.  I knew it was bad, but I kept doing it until, well, I figured it out that it was bad for me.

I picked up running.

I still don’t run fast, but I’ve done many many many half marathons.  I don’t care what you say.  There’s no such thing as “joggers”, if your motion is forward and you’re in a race, you’re a runner.  You run.

I stopped going to concerts.

I’ve seen countless acts and their performance are always good.  Only hope is I get to see Outkast live one day, but so far, I think I have seen everyone that I wanted to see, but then, I stopped.

I stopped being happy.

I did material things that made me happy.  I bought shoes.  I wore different sneakers and clothes to make me feel like I’m king.

I stopped going to the Giants games.  

Two years away from the Bay Area, you’d hardly make it to anywhere but home, bed and well, the other home.

You can try to change yourself for the better, but there is no ending.

Get it?  Roc, NO ENDING.

Everything is an evolution.  You can change yourself this morning, then the afternoon, it just isn’t the same anymore.

So back to this Tapioca place I’m at.  Five more days until the next exam.  

I can’t stop.  I gotta keep going.  It’s a beautiful thing to understand where you stand and your destination.  Have some goals in your life that you want to achieve.  If everything goes right, next week at this time, I’ll be jumping in the air and celebrating.  I don’t want that fear of not being successful.

So, I’m going to go get it.  I.  WILL.  NOT.  LOSE.