romancingdaffodils - Tumblr blog

romancingdaffodils · 4 months

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Love Kills

Clampdown

rockstar!remus lupin x reader

PART TGREE OF LOVE KILLS

James wants to kill time. What better way than a trip to ths pub accompanied by a Scottish football game. Remus isn’t seeing you after the incident. You end up sandwiched between him and Sirius. Chaos of the best kind ensues

bet you didn’t expect this come back did you

lots of love from lilac

warnings: alcohol consumption, kissing, general lovey dovey ness, slight pining.

“Alright, party people, let’s get going! We have pub munch and a Rangers game waiting for us.” Pete shouted down the bus. You assumed James had told him to phrase it like that.

“Food poisoning and a bar fight impending.” you mumbled under your breath and Marlene heard. She laughed, whole heartedly. You smiled. The blonde rockstar esc girl was the lead singer for The Valkyries and she was unbelievably punk for lack of a better word. It was shocking to you her and Sirius weren’t dating (it became less shocking when you accidentally bumped into her and Dorcas snogging behind the tour bus). She had her hair cut in what could only be described as a spiked mod cut. In theory, it sounds awful, but some how the blonde woman managed to pull it off. She was pretty to the point your eyes threatened to turn green with envy.

“No need to be so down, scruff. ‘s not like we’re eating something Black has cooked.” she purred, smirking over at you. Her arm was lazily slouched over the shoulder of Dorcas, who was fast asleep on Marlene’s chest.

Sprinting out from backstage, you began to pack up the drums. You were desperate for a distraction from what had just happened. James walking in would appear during midnight daydreams filled with embarrassing moments. The anticipation of sweet relief that never came from the sandy haired man was far worse than any you’d felt before. Silently, you prayed you’d get another moment alone with Remus.

Completely oblivious, you waltzed outside holding the neatly packed away drum kit. Just as you were about to pack it away into storage, you saw something in the corner of your eye. A little flicker of hope made you check it wasn’t the one you were so desperate to see. Dropped, your jaw almost hit the floor in surprise. Dorcas, the Valkyrie’s lead guitarist and Marlene were stood unashamedly showing a rather intimate public display of affection. As cute as the couple were, the scene drove you even further into desperation of wanting to know what could’ve been.

“You’re funny.” you commented, giggling to yourself quietly. She gave you a proud smile.

“I know. How come we haven’t met before, you didn’t go to school with us?” she asked, curious eyes ever catlike.

“Didn’t go to school with you. Met Sirius at a concert and, you know now I’m here.”

“Exciting. Yanno James mentioned he walked into you a—“

Mary slapped her arm. You sighed, burying your head into your hands in defeat. “Did he tell everyone?” you asked, meekly. You could literally feel the colour draining from your face and everything seemed to slow down in a disgusting mix of anxiety and embarrassment.

“Just— Um. Not Sirius though, he doesn’t know.” Mary replied, smiling sympathetically. Saying nothing, you recalled your pinky promise with Remus and went on a mission to go find him. Padding off down the bus, you found him led in his bunk, book in hand.

“Alright?” he asked, not looking up from his book.

“Remember how you promised not to let me kill anyone.”

“Yeah?” his eyes flicked up to you and your stomach twisted. His voice turned to sticky honey in your ears and you were even more convinced he should be the frontman in an indie band. Or maybe he should be an actor. Or a model. He just deserved to be plastered on big screens with his voice trickling out of speakers everywhere you went.

“Need you to hold me back the next time I see James.” he snorted.

“He told everyone, then? Sorry. Should’ve known really.” Remus added, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He reached out and grabbed his shoes, tugging them onto his feet. It served as a reminder you still had an entire night of everyone and their mother knowing your personal life. The colour was yet to return to your face and slowly you realised the lanky man wasn’t really looking at you. More he was looking through you. Admittedly, it stung, but you had to pretend it didn’t. Everything seemed tense.

“Yeah. Um, so the pub. What are we going for again?” you asked, desperate to revel in his attention.

“James wanted to kill time.” he replied, looking up at you. Wincing, he stood up with a groan. ‘His knees must be bothering him,’ you thought, peering up at him.

“Alright?” you asked, peering up at him.

“Just my knees, I’ll be fine. You ready then?” he said, scratching the back of his neck. You wondered if he’d let you lazily run your fingernails up and down the skin.

“Sure. Why not.” you confirmed. He gave you a small smile, but still wasn’t really looking at you.

You wanted to kiss every inch of his skin to make him look at you.

When it came to a rare enigma of a person (like Remus Lupin), you found yourself completely pliant at every thought of them. You didn’t need to know them for very long or understand them all that well. You just needed them. Which, undoubtedly, was unhealthy in the grand scheme of things. However, who were you to disregard the thought of such a pretty man being in close contact with you?

You were almost certain you had blown everything because of Remus’s estrangement for the past few hours. Perhaps that small smidgen of intimacy would be all you could get. You’d be awfully upset if that was true. Whispering silent prayers that he’d allow you to bask in his gaze once more, you made your way off the bus with the rest of the - as Pete had called them - party people.

The walk to the pub was short, you’d ended up in a rather deep conversation with Mary about her drums. You decided she was your favourite drummer to exist ever, solely because of how lovely she was. Far nicer than Sirius was to you. You felt a pair of eyes lingering over you and automatically whipped your head round to find who it was. Locking eyes with Remus, you gave a small smile before immediately looking away. His eyes shot away without the smile. Maybe he wasn’t staring at you, you tried to rationalise the tension in your brain. The walk to the pub felt a longer than it should’ve with Remus’s eyes on you. Given it was any other situation, you would’ve been basking in Remus’s gaze. However, due to the tension brewing you found yourself wanting to hide away from it.

Squeezing into the booth, you ended up trapped in between Remus and Sirius. Your thighs were pressed tightly against the others. Remus had a pint, Sirius had some concoction of stolen drinks and vodka and you had a less impressive half drunk cider. You still felt Remus’s eyes on the side of your face. The feeling of your skin being pushed against his jeans was not helping.

“I think, I think that football is dumb! Have you ever watched Rugby? ‘s way better!” Sirius declared. You scrunched up your face and you were almost certain you heard Remus chuckle. In fact, you were completely certain because the sound sent a shiver down your spine.

“Don’t ever say that, ever, again. Okay?” you said, pointing at Sirius. You felt like a teacher scolding a student, but it felt necessary.

“I’m right though.” he whined.

“So, you like watching sweaty men grapple with each other?” you said, obviously sarcastically.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Remus laughed at this exchange, wholeheartedly. He had started laughing at your sarcasm and your stomach twisted at the thought of making him chuckle. Sirius rolled his eyes and turned away, starting a conversation with Marlene and Dorcas.

“Hi.” you whispered, to Remus as you peered up at him. He tilted his head.

“Hi. You alright?” he whispered in response. His hand twitched slightly as he picked up his glass. You wouldn’t have noticed if it were anyone else, but it was Remus.

“Mhmm!” you peered over at the rest of the table and frowned slightly. “How do they do it?”

“Do what, love?” he asked, the pet name slipping out. He mentally scolded himself, but stopped when he saw the blush spread across your face. The slight curl upwards in the corners of your mouth told him he’d misread the situation. See, Remus Lupin was insecure, especially in relationships. He was certain the whole ordeal with James would’ve put you off for life and that you hated him. But, he couldn’t keep his eyes away from you. He would’ve much rather suffered the whole tour staring longingly at someone than try and chase after you after being walked in on due to his consistent self doubt. A moment of tipsy clarity made him realise he was completely and utterly stupid.

“Talk, so easily. And, all the time. They just, always know what to say. I’m jealous really.” you explained, thankful you didn’t stutter of your words.

“Honestly? We were popular at school, it just comes with the territory really. Me less so, I’m still working it out.” he replied, looking down at you. You nodded your head in understanding. You wanted to shrink him down to the size of a mouse and keep him in your pocket at all times.

Somehow, being sat next to Remus had managed to drown out the sound of the football for an extended period of time. However, it wasn’t long before Rangers were getting chances and it was starting to get a little too overwhelming. He seemed to notice. “Wanna go for a smoke?” he asked, offering out his hand as he stood. You’d never moved so fast before. Nodding your head, you took his hand and stood up. He walked, fast. Big strides, you supposed. It never occurred to you that he was moving fast because he was oh so desperate to be alone with you.

You hummed as you leant against the wall, exhaling a mouthful of smoke. You then handed the cigarette back to Remus, who was staring at you like you were the only girl in the world.

‘Christ,’ he thought ‘this’ll kill me.’

Your eyes landed on Remus and you grinned at him. He smiled back before putting out the cigarette. You pressed your face against the cool bricks of the building; the fresh air was relieving you of the stickiness of the pub.

“That comfy?” he asked, chuckling slightly as he looked at you.

“Rem?” you inhale, sharply. You need to ask him. You tell yourself, you have to.

“Yeah?”

“Why haven’t you looked at me since James walked in on, whatever that was?” you asked, mumbling slightly, “If you don’t like me, that’s fine I suppose but, I’d just like you to tell m-“

“ ‘Course I fucking like you, don’t be stupid. I was scared, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to embarrass you. In all honesty, I was certain it would put you off me. I’m pretty sure you’re the only person here I can handle being around for a good month straight.”

You giggled, quietly. Looking up at him, you saw something in his eyes. You couldn’t pin point it, but whatever it was made you feel admired. “Alright. I believe you.”

“Good.” he said, quite plainly. He said your name. You peered up at him. He’d moved. He was stood directly in front of you. You tensed, praying it wouldn’t be a replay of the intense anticipation from yesterday.

“Looks like the cut is healing up nice.” your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke. He smiled slightly, taking another step towards you. Your back was pressed firmly against the wall.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm!”

“Let me say thanks for cleaning me up?”

“Mhm!” your voice cracked part way through your squeal of approval. He giggled and you felt his breath fan against your face. You had your eyes screwed shut.

“Look at me.” he said. Your eyes opened immediately. “You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

You stayed silent, staring up at him wide eyed.

“Everything anyone could ever want. Everything I could ever want. You’ve got no need to be jealous of those lot. You’re at least a hundred times better.” he mumbled. One of his hands drifted down to your waist, delicately squeezing at the fat there. The other cupped the side of your cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

Cheers erupted from the pub. You couldn’t help yourself.

“I think someone scored.” you whispered.

“Yeah? Or maybe they’re cheering us on.” Remus said before colliding his lips with your own. He tasted of beer, which normally would be repulsive, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care because it was Remus. It was dreamy eyed, pillowy lipped and pretty faced Remus Lupin and you were kissing him. Your Hands latched onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life. It may have looked like you were attempting to push him away, but in reality you were making sure this was real. That you weren’t caught up in a daydream.

Remus thought you were everything. Really. The whole package. You tried your best in everything, apart from dealing with Sirius, and he thought it was so unbelievably attractive. He wanted you to consume him inside and out. You’d already done so to his thoughts. Your lips felt like silk against his own. Remus Lupin had kissed many people. He didn’t think any kisses previously shared lived up to you. Perhaps it was the build up of tension or maybe it was the close proximity the bus forced onto the two of you. Whatever it was, neither of you couldn’t care less.

He pulled away. He breathed. You felt his exhale fan across your face. It forced you into laughter. Tucking your head into his chest, you wondered if this moment could last forever.

“Okay?” he asked, delicately running his fingers through your hair. You nodded. He hummed. You shivered. “Cold?”

“Yeah.” you admitted. He slips off his jacket. His pretty leather jacket that you assume he was coerced into buying by Sirius. You were glad, actually, because he looked completely and utterly gorgeous in it. You tugged on the jacket, after he handed it to you. “Thank you.” you mumble, peering up at him. You’d already pulled away from his chest, but you wished you hadn’t. It was comfortable and sweet. You wanted to go home with him. Unfortunately, Glasgow isn’t quite home. “Can we go back?” you asked.

“Back to the bus?”

“Yeah.”

“ ‘Course we can, dove.” he smirked, lopsidedly. Your face flushed. He chuckled quietly, interlinking his hand with your own as you walked. You couldn’t seem to keep your mouth shut for the duration of the walk. Remus hummed, nodded, asked questions and laughed as you rambled. You didn’t think it got better than this. You finished your final sentence about music and grinned up at Remus. He smiled back.

“After the tour, let me take you out, yeah? Somewhere nice, and preferably not in the murder capital of Europe.” he said, smile still on his face. It wasn’t often Remus asked a question spontaneously. His actions were almost always premeditated. However, it was you. He just couldn’t help himself.

“I’d really like that, I think.” you replied. Your eyes crinkled at the corners with how wide you smiled. You bit your tongue; you’d much rather die than let out the squeal of excitement that was brewing.

You had to get through the tour first.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus x reader #rockstar!remus #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus x you #marauders band au #punk!sirius #sirius black #james potter #valkyries #the valkyries #the marauders

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romancingdaffodils · 6 months

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i love alx

The Dream Synopsis

PREVIOUS PARTS LISTED HERE

All Day and All of the Night

CW- DRUG ABUSE

Alex's head swung back with speed as he sniffed while opening his eyes, feeling the sting shoot through his nostrils. He rubbed the side of his right nostril with his thumb to get any powdery residue off of his nose. It'd been a while since he'd done cocaine. However, he knew how to conduct himself while on it. In this situation, he wasn't just high... also drunk. Alex got drunk before he got high; the forbidden rule. His hands searched his pockets to find his phone: gone. He wandered out to have a look for Miles: gone. They'd gone out to a club together- it was no surprise Miles had disappeared.

Going out for a smoke, Alex's mind wandered to things outside the club. Where was Miles? How's the album actually going? What's going on with Dorothy? All were questions that raced through Alex's mind like F1 racers. He sighed, walking away from the club knowing that he had very little to do there now. The only sensible thought he'd had within the past couple of hours was to go back home. The club wasn't far away- a 10 minute walk. Alex took a drag from the cigarette he'd lit prior; half of it inhaled already. He wore black chelsea boots which clacked along the pavement as he stumbled on his walk back. Black jeans clung to his thighs and his hips swung greatly as he clambered along, taking large strides and wobbling. A white (not so white after the night out) vest adorned his chest and accentuated his biceps and forearms as they were completely on show.

He turned many corners until he arrived at Shangri-La studios. He didn't understand why they did the studio like this. Having the musicians stay on the same plot of land as the studio was just begging for trouble. He looked at Miles' place as he travelled. All the lights were off; he wasn't there. Raising his eyebrows, he walked on, trying to find somewhere to stay. Alex found himself gravitating towards a place he knew he shouldn't go: all the lights were off; it was silent; the door was locked. However, he couldn't stop himself. He drunkenly knocked on the door, his knuckles aching from the force of his knocks. He shook his hand and winced. As he was watching his hurt hand, the door opened in front of him.

"Alex?" Dorothy asked wearily. She'd just woken up. Her hair was astray and her pyjama shorts were ruffled.

"Hey, darlin'," His eyes were barely open and his voice was husky as he spoke, "I- uh..." He raised one eyebrow as he tried to continue to talk, waving his hand around as he did so.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." She understood what Alex was trying to say. Dot walked up to him, putting one of his arms around her shoulder as she started to stabilise him to get him inside. Shutting the door with her foot, she guided him into the living room, out of breath from his weight. He stank of alcohol and cigarettes. God forbid if he was doing anything else, she thought. Lowering him onto the settee, she gazed at him, worried.

"Y'know, love, you're great to me." He looked up at her as he started unzipping his boots clumsily. Dorothy turned on the lamp next to them and inspected Alex. His vest had various sweat patches and alcohol stains in odd spots where he'd obviously spilt something down himself. She also noticed some white powder on a crease of his nose. She sat down next to him.

"Al?" He hummed and looked over to her once he'd finally taken his boots off. He seemed at peace now, in a way. He was sweet and kind of quiet. Just like when they first met, "Nevermind. Put your arms in the air." Alex shut his eyes as he obliged, putting his arms up. Dorothy untucked his vest, he giggled as it tickled his sides, and slid the vest off. She folded the vest and put it on the coffee table in front of the pair.

"You're lovely." Alex smiled. His hand was involuntarily smacking his other arm and his leg bobbed up and down. He was drowsy from the alcohol but still had a kick from the drugs.

"Don't take this the wrong way," She said to Alex. He looked back at her and tilted his head to the side, "I'm gonna take your trousers off. I don't want the settee ruined." His trousers were sticky. Much like his vest, alcohol had been spilt on it. Alex nodded and she unbuttoned the top of his trousers and unzipped the fly, trying not to touch him too much. He bucked his hips so she could drag the dark trousers off his thighs, then his calves, and down to his ankles, and then taking them off completely. Folding the trousers and placing them next to the vest, she stood up and looked down to him.

"Thank you." He looked down, ashamed. He'd been having a range of mood swings. Alex watched Dorothy as she picked up a blanket that was in a bundle behind the door of the living room.

"Lay down. Get comfy," Dot spoke as she unfolded the blanket. Alex laid down and adjusted the cushion to rest under his head perfectly, "Comfy?" She asked. He hummed wearily in reply. Dorothy gently threw the blanket on top of him, adjusting it where it needed to be adjusted so it covered his whole body. She squatted next to the sofa and looked at him with a melancholy expression, "You'd do the same for me, Al. Don't thank me." He frowned and his lip quivered slightly. Dorothy leaned over and kissed the top of his head, stroking his hair for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry." Alex said. Dot shook her head and kissed the top of his head for a second time.

"Don't be. I'm not angry or disappointed. I'm going to get you a glass of water then I'm off to bed, okay?" She stood up, looking down at him to see him nod in reply. Walking over to the kitchen and adjusting the strap of her spaghetti top, she sighed. Dorothy was worried for Alex. Pouring water into a glass, thoughts flooded her mind. She didn't know if he was experienced with cocaine. Dot didn't know if he was an addict. If he was, he hid it well. Shaking her head to stop the thoughts, she placed the glass onto the coffee table. Alex was already asleep, snoring with a frown on his face. Dorothy stuck her bottom lip out and called it quits- deciding to go to bed.

Alex twitched and his eyes shot open. Crackles from the stove awoke the man and he looked around: dazed and confused. A couple of pills and a glass of water on the coffee table seemed almost delicious to him. Dropping two white pills into his mouth, he took a few big gulps of the water to wash them down. A plate was lowered onto the coffee table in front of him, along with a patterned mug with steam erupting from it. Alex looked up at Dorothy. Her hair was wet but she was dressed in a tight fitting top with a pair of naked cowboys on the front and it was tucked into some dark leather trousers. A spiked belt covered her waist and reflected around the room. Dot smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

"Eat. You need food in you." She commanded while walking back into the kitchen to get her own plate. Alex sighed and took the knife and fork, starting to cut into the toast, eggs, and bacon that she'd cooked for him. Dorothy came back, sitting next to Alex and eating the same food.

"I'm sorry for coming here. I must've been really out of it," He looked over to her, taking his first bite, "Fuck this is good." He groaned. Dot giggled next to him.

"It's okay. I don't mind," A silence fell over the pair as they ate, "How long have you been doing cocaine for?" Alex's smile faltered slightly. He tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry.

"Uh, I dunno. Long journey," He replied bluntly, "I was on it then off it. Now it's an occasional thing." He chewed his food some more and took a quick sip of tea.

"I'm not mad. Nor surprised. The music industry is crawling with drugs. But, be safe. You were fucked last night and I don't want you gettin' in dangerous situations." Dorothy's tone turned more sincere at the end of her speech. She cared about Alex. The annoyance from days before faded and turned into worry for the man.

"I'm trying. I really am," Alex replied guiltily. The food was quickly going down, making him more full by the second, "It's just hard sometimes, y'know? I know I've been an arse to ya by being all mardy. I'm sorry." He apologised. Dot took a quick sip of her drink before replying with:

"We don't have to talk about that now. I'd rather know that you're okay."

"I want to talk about it now." Another silence fell between the two. Finished with her meal, Dorothy put her plate on the coffee table and turned to look at him.

"Okay," She sighed, "I'm sorry for the mixed signals. I ain't good with this stuff, Al. Nothin's ever gone right." Alex copied her, putting his plate on the coffee table too. He took a sip of tea before turning back to her.

"I'm sorry too. For a whole multitude of things. I really like you. I think you're proper cool 'nd that," He cringed at himself. He sounded like a teenager, "I just started being a dick in case like... I dunno how to put it. Self defence? Shit's not gone great for me either, unfortunately." Dorothy moved slightly closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about all that." Alex put his arm around her and pulled her into his bare chest more. Dorothy wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled herself in closer too.

"Don't have to be. It's just the way things are sometimes. Not everything has to work out, not at all," The atmosphere was incredibly intimate. They both felt safe and at peace with each other completely. A realm of trust entrapped the pair, "Anyway, it gives me summat to write about." Dot giggled at his joke slightly.

"I stalked Arctic Monkeys," She blurted out. Alex looked down at her questioningly, "I never put two and two together. Didn't realise you were in Arctic Monkeys. I got annoyed at you before and was watching a movie where you did the soundtrack. Miles told me about the soundtrack and I got intrigued. Then, I got more mad at you because I liked the music." Alex let out a hearty laugh at her confession.

"Yeah? What's your favourite then?" He chuckled and jiggled her body jokily. She looked up at him and frowned sarcastically.

"You're So Dark."

"Oh, so you went deep diving into the B-sides as well?" He continued joking. Dorothy went bright red and let out a small 'shut up' before burying her head back into his chest. They were both glad that they were happy again. The small grudges they held against each other hurt them both to an extreme degree.

"You smell." She spoke. It was true, the haze of yesterday still lingered on Alex's body and breath. It created an alcoholic musk.

"I know," Alex groaned and stretched. His clothes from last night were still on the coffee table in front of them, "Can I take a shower?" He asked graciously.

"Please." Alex flashed a fake frown at her and picked up his old clothes before heading upstairs. All the accommodations on the land had the same layout so he knew exactly where he was going. While Alex was having a shower, Dorothy started washing up and refolding the blanket he'd used. She placed his boots by the front door also. She loved the company. She loved being around him more than anything.

Getting herself a glass of water, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and a head rest on her shoulder. She turned her head to kiss his cheek. Turning back to her glass, Alex buried his neck into the crook of her neck more and squeezed her closer to him. Dot became fully distracted due to the touch. Both her hands grabbed Alex's, taking them off of her waist so she could swivel around to face him. His eyes scanned her face and landed onto her lips. He pined for her. His hands found her waist again and pulled her in closer. Dorothy's breath hitched as she got pulled. She put a hand on his cheek and rubbed her thumb in circles, much like she did that night when they shared a bed together. Alex leaned in. Dot reciprocated and their lips touched. The longing for each other suddenly felt more worthwhile than ever. It felt amazing. Their lips had moulded to one another as they gently shared a kiss.

Once they'd pulled away, Dorothy's arms found themselves resting on Alex's shoulders. Using this, she kissed him again, deepening it more and more as she did so. Alex's eyebrows raised but he happily gave the same energy back. He raised her onto the kitchen counter and placed himself between her legs. His right hand found itself leaning against her ribcage, slightly under her chest. He could feel the wiring of her bra. She wrapped her legs around him to slide herself closer, slightly grinding against his body: making him groan. Their mouths and tongues moved in sync, finding all the right spots to kiss and feel.

Alex's phone started to buzz and ring. He moaned mid-kiss and hung up the phone. He frowned, thinking he'd lost his phone the night before. But he was also grateful that he still had it in his possession. Alex turned his attention back to Dorothy, kissing her harder than they previously had been due to frustration. However, the phone rang again and again. He sighed and gave an apologetic look as he removed himself and picked up the phone. Dorothy patiently listened to the murmurs Alex gave in reply to the caller before hanging up for what felt like the 100th time.

"I'm late to the studio," Alex said woefully, "I'm so sorry. I really enjoyed this and I'm so glad we talked." He gave her a quick peck.

"Your shoes are by the door. And, don't worry about it. I understand." They shared one last kiss, longer than the peck they'd shared before as a goodbye. She followed him into the hallway to wave him off. Alex slipped his shoes on and gave her a big hug as a goodbye before leaving without a trace.

Translations

Summat - Something

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