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Hole

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the prince of all sickos!!!

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New nursery batch!

Roll call:

I had to evict everyone else to get here so let’s do a check in

I call this plucky trio the cutie mark crusaders

And then the urgent care unit

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Workstation and more math! I got 28/30 on my first test in years!!! My medicated adult brain is absorbing enough to do stuff I dreamed of being able to handle. It’s a lot of reps mostly and that’s tough when it’s hard to focus on understanding theory that I lacked foundations in but this class was intended to fill those gaps

I will be excited for it to be over though ☠️ I’m at least engaging more fully with cinematography/English/ live drawing

My live drawing professor liked my posts on insta 😭 it’s sweet and I provoked it by following him first but I’m oddly self conscious by him seeing that I’ve made comments about his lessons

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Snapshots of my study space and office. Also more math posting

And some live drawing progress

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Catching up again

Oh dear! Mid September and I’ve yet again made maintenance of this blog not a priority and there’s only one way to fix that. The last post I made here was for pride month. I earnt my A in Chicano studios over the summer maintaining my 3.9.

This semester I’m doing math, English, cinema and live drawing. Hoping to get some hours for TA work and have a lot of plans or goals I want to explore I will share here to be held accountable. Might make some posts to track progress as this is the most uncomfortable semester by far but it’s so rewarding to relearn math.

Lot of it is purely because I’m working hard to do the book work and have it organized. I’ll do a walk through of my notion

Lots of self progress and development. Trying to be kinder and I got defense gear so my vibe is shifting

Been going out to wicked cool stuff like the opera at the Hollywood bowl and making art too:

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Happy pride month!

I finished my spring semester with 4.0s (not expected for nutrition and typography but I DID it!!!) and barely got a break inbetween a bunch of pride events I’ll try to post about bc I met and saw cool people but I’m now doing Chicano studies and setting up the school for some summer things

Me at campus (splat hair representatives at pride gave me hair chalk so I’m getting to rep it for the rest of my life with their reputation 😭)

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Work study and comedy night

Had a boost but deffo need a day of recovery from all the going out I’ve been doing. I’ve had two assignments that have confused me a lot and I got lower grades on one and submitted the other earlier today attempting to do it but not quite understanding. At least I have the opportunity to redo but I’ll focus on getting through. I have physical therapy tomorrow morning so I’ll try to make this fast

Got into my school’s art show and a scholarship award today that was lgbt specific which was very cool

Actually had a really cool day mentally while reading my new book of focus (high rec) which is Insanely Gifted by James Catto that’s helping me manage inner demons

Mentored some cool students at school and finished two assignments even if shakey. Then it was time for the comedy show! Todays edition of Netflix is a joke featured “Asian Nation” presented by Nigel Ng, Uncle Rodger

Then I got treated to boba 🤤

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Full study/work day 5/5

Got a shift tomorrow that I need to wake up at 7 am for so I’ll try to this fast mostly because I did good and am prioritizing my time remembering it

Todays shift let me sleep in a bit after watching snoop dogg n post the night before at the bowl

I got to help observe a lil more than having to actively troubleshoot but made up for it by committing a lot to art today

One of my friends was cool enough to stay over while I drew and then went out for mimosas! Gonna try to do my typography on campus tomorrow

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Midterms Spring 2024

I always wanted to be one of those fancy studyblr people that had study group or did school work at a cafe and today we made that a reality

But

Finding our way there was actual hell! In all honesty we played ourselves by trying to find a spot recommended online and all of the top ones were either very loud or very crowded (which is great if you’re able to plug in but we wanted a space to chat).

We found a secluded spot in the mall, I got a blended Korean coffee (little bean) with boba at this cute coffee shop in ktown. It wasn’t trying to be thematic and I liked that, especially when that had all these shaved ices I want to go back for

But I filled that craving with a cucumber lemon chili paleta tonight to celebrate with some tacos. Getting my setup working was so annoying and I learnt the hard way about some tasks being desktop only but I ended it feeling success and want to try again

Oh yeah the next day I went to go my teaching assistant day job and there was a bit of litter that was from the coffee place we tried to study at that was too busy. Manifesting and oddest things

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Hey! You! Stick em up! 🔫

This is a stationery porn checkpoint

These were the newest additions

Now show me urs

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My latest glow up habits

🎀 Physical 🎀

fixing my sleep schedule, from a 2 am nightowl to going to sleep at 10-11 pm

limiting time on social media, from 2h daily to 1h per week, to avoid wasted time and doomscrolling

improving diet by mealprepping, having regular meals & avoiding unhealthy foods

weekly hair treatments with rosemary

🎀 Mental 🎀

reading a new book every few weeks

starting a new course for professional development

reading interesting articles daily to keep myself mentally stimulated (and avoid reaching for an instagram dopamine kick)

🎀 Emotional 🎀

shadow work + journaling

setting stronger boundaries when i'm feeling burnt out

removing habits, locations or people from my life that are toxic or draining

no longer mulling over the past, simply closing the door and moving on

🎀 Spirituality 🎀

gratitude journaling

subliminals right before sleep

creating a new visionboard for the upcoming year

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*dusts blog* God I think I only used this for a month before my old workplace started pushing my boundaries to the point I was constantly exhausted

So much has happened since! But I’ll keep it all study relevant this blog is meant to be study/bujo/

Kept up a 3.75 gpa (only got bs in two classes I might retake), got on Dean and presidential honors lists and did so many units I had to switch majors from animation to TV but I’m doing some art classes but I managed to squeeze in live drawing and typography classes inbetween nutrition and intro to television. Finished theater over winter and before that I was wrapping up my third semester of screen writing (did pilot script),

I’m also working at the art building instead and it feels like HOME. Last semester I TA’d perspective and illustration which was mind blowing but now I’m doing storyboards and every day is a day I feel more excited to go to work.

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my part for the Hayloft II MAP!!

love animating a woman who can maim and kill <3

EDIT: process video now up on youtube!

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Journal With Me | 26.01.24 | Making Friends ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ | The Loneliness Epidemic | Good Living | Hi ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

Hi, internet friends! 

Wish I could be recording and speaking to you directly, but ugh, the work it would take to speak to you via a recording with the network in Naija isn't worth it (ㅠ﹏ㅠ). If I was at home, maybe, but at school, it would be hard. So... what's the juicy gossip? I'm lonely... alone! And I have no one to talk to. No one listens to me because I have no one who understands me, very cliché INFP or enneagram 4 behavior I've heard.

For the record, they hear and attempt to listen, sweet darlings, but alas, it is like a homophobic, Christian parent being told their child is gay. The best ones are gonna say, "I will pray for you." The child has not been listened to, even if the parent says, "I've heard you" or "I'm hearing you" or "I'm trying to understand you" with a sympathetic glare and to the best of their abilities. To listen to someone else is to transcend oneself, and many have a difficult time doing it. Alas, to err is to be human, only transcendence is divine, and as a wise person once said, "if e easy, do am." The road to heaven is narrow, people, and often paved with good intentions. Now, you know the true meaning. You are welcome.

I'm gonna start a YouTube channel. I already have, but more of those "romanticize your lives and write"... wait, I think I'm already doing that... lol. I'm such a cliché, forgive me for my wording, but we're friends. No need for formality amongst friends, is there? By that, I think I've said cliché like twice already. Why did I bring up YouTube? To inform you about my life, bestie! Also, because I like taking aesthetic videos, but also because I like the idea of conversation while taking aesthetic videos, best friend.

Also, we're gonna hear a lot of repeating words because we're besties, and this is how a human speaks casually. I would like to do better, but alas, my vocab is weak. Maybe when I start doing my own personal growth study plans instead of having to contend with the ones I'm given at school (so much cognitive loading required, it's like I'm learning via a backwards progression formula—Quadratics before I can multiply—but we make do, as is the human condition), then we can talk about good grammar. In life, I want to learn. I like to learn, but at my own pace, and the things that I find important to me.

I am still in school, though (for anyone who has read my previous posts, it's complicated), but it's majorly because I haven't decided how I'm going to schedule my life in a way that I see fit. I can work on other people's timelines because it's already set, and I need not think about it too much, but if I had to do my own, then I must leave no room for questioning, or I just won't start. So, after my aha moment, let's hope it comes soon, I'll decide to move majors... again (complicated bestie, with time all 'might' make sense. No promises though).

Oh well, I guess whenever I get my camera or, you know, like go home, I'll start recording 'cause Bingham the university I attend sucks. Not aesthetically pleasing, except its access to nature, which I'm sure I can make do wherever I go. This is planet Earth, nature dey... for now. But because it's surrounded by so much grass, it means it can only be located at the outskirts of civilization. The network is horrendous, and there is no access to good wifi.

For my new friends who do not know me, I guess since this is the first time we're meeting, hi, I'm Achie, and I'm what? I am 24 years old this January 14th. I go to Bingham University, Nigeria, to study Accounting... and I have no friends... yikes. The friendship recession seems to be hitting me too, I just realized. Didn't think it would since I'm in school, in Nigeria, and surrounded by people all the time. And technology means so little here—it's not a first world or even second world country, which I think have had their internal problems that have been plaguing humanity since the dawn of time, exacerbated by technological advancements. But it seems to be happening to everyone, even here. But I think I only have the language to talk about now and information on what it is and how normal it is because of the age of information. Otherwise, I’d live in ignorant misery, thinking that I was the only one on the entire Earth who felt or has ever felt such since the dawn of humanity. It's either me or people and our belief in isolated incidents. Even if it were me and others around me, for some reason known to man, my brain would probably still just think that it’s only the people that I have noticed do this that deserve the right to exist as people that do this. And if I am not careful, any evidence of this belief would be swiftly rejected by me if I've stayed so long in my inability to transcend myself and be divine.

Hmmm. Feels so good to say that. Feels so good to talk and not have to feel like I'm not smart enough to speak on the internet because, yeah, I'm not smart enough to be spitting facts, but also that my niche views and ideas can transcend through to not just me and whoever wants to discuss, well, baby, then let's discuss.

I really think that my life wouldn't be so hard if I had friends. People who I can talk to and they go 'hey, I so relate to that' and I go 'really?' That is the reason for this blog friends….I need friends friends.

Maybe friends are not all about that. I mean, I have a lot of friends who we do things for each other, we have fun together, but the only person who has really been able to relate to me is me, and maybe only a few come close. I have only two friends to whom if I'm talking about therapy and politics and science actually get it. Two friends! And one friend really waaay more than the other. It really isn't people's cup of tea. Not many people are into self-growth or the deeper meaning of life or truth. They are simply content reading Colleen Hoover and not Murakami (because I've read Murakami) and following the doctrines of everyday life. Between you and me, I think it's a waste of a good life, really, because I believe that not thinking widely, even though many exclaim to be happy with it, doesn't grant you full access to the spectrum of your humanity and all the things you can do and feel.

Many people I know, when they do start to get into something niche, like the girl brought up in the village who only watched Nigerian movies (and stuck with its limited perspective) finally gets into American movies. Or the version of her already born into watching American movies as well as Nigerian movies (but might have Nigerian ones as a preference, which is great, choice is a trademark of the living) finally gets into anime. From what I can tell, each and every one of those persons is forever altered in thought once they expand their horizons into something new. I know I definitely am all the time. I've always expanded in uniform, understandable ways, from complex books to science. But I've also found myself expanding in beautifully lateral ways, too, when I consume things that seem beneath me. From my culture, it's music, it's poorly done movies. It allows me to understand and relate to people I otherwise wouldn't be able to, kinda like a president fist bumping a janitor. Makes me feel like we're really all the same.

Ugh, so I hate going back to reread anything. I never cross-check my work in exams, all I just submit. I don't know why I do that. It isn't from a lack of effort but extensive will to corrode my own nature, and if I don't have to do it, why would I? And apparently, to me, it seems like I am more than willing to lose a few marks in the name of not having to cross-check that work. And I guess it's the deal I make with life: take this and this and that away, as long as I don't have to cross-check anything because it's honestly too much of a mental and physical challenge. Some people can't submit something without overchecking it, and such skills differ where they are appreciated, but all skills have their uses. A well-rounded human being can call upon their weakest skills if need be, and a lot of times they do. But when does a person decide that the situation is so worth it? Definitely not the marks I lose on an even poorly written exam.

Well, I hope to speak frequently and often, to myself, to my friends if I'll have any. In any case, I must speak, for it all can't stay bottled up inside, or I'll never be happy. And for my ego to really experience joy, it would feel nice to be validated.

In any case, thank you for reading, bestie (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧. And be sure to check out my social media pages for school-related content. I have some terribly composed journal entries up. I'm studying accounting right now, hoping to move towards my autodidact studies and continue with study-with-me's that I actually love and at my own pace, but school for now. And I might change my mind, which, according to Khadijah Mbowe, as she quotes a scientific doctoring, we can always change our minds.

Hoping to be a leader of my life and inspire others to do the same with theirs. I mean, what are friends for? Plus, I’m tired of all my homophobic friends. Everyone I know is in some way, shape, or form homophobic in Nigeria. Nigeria, by default, is homophobic, and only my two friends are really not, like they have decentred homophobia to the extent to which I have living in Nigeria. We can only do so much when I don’t have friends who validate this part of me. 

Many people believe I shouldn’t do this. They say, "Don’t have friends who think homophobia is bad, or else you will think like them." Exactly, I want to think like them. "Your bad" is a construct, like everyone’s is, and you have valid reasons, such as "I won’t be able to make friends where I am" or "I’ll be lonely and alone." But such a mindset and such friends and such needing to belong take much more from you than I’m willing to risk. I want to be at the same level of thought processing as my peers in first-world countries, who were raised properly, and often times, like I’m doing now, can learn to take on life more creatively and bend it to have the outcomes that are truly in line with the healthiest, mentally and physically, versions of themselves.

bye<3

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"Lost in the Cloud" is absolutely the first manhwa I've ever read.

91 chapters of TRAGEDY devoured in 4 days. Yeah. 🥲

I can't go over, I'm completely obsessed.

I can't wait until January 20 for season 3 to start!!! 😭😭😭

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things to add to your journals

song lyrics for a specific mood

spotify codes for favourite songs

receipts from a trip

envelope for gifts from any small children you know

pages to press flowers in

ticket stubs

fortune cookie readings

daily three-card tarot pulls

watercolour paper for art

page cutouts

watercolours just in general

pressed flowers

other dried herbs

sketches (taped or glued in)

morning/evening routines

colour in the leftover paper backing from stickers and glue/tape it in

friendship bracelets that may have broken or come off

grocery lists or other shopping lists (glue in if written on other paper)

book quotes

block poetry (you'll have to take a page out of a book for this)

mental health goals

halloween: candy wrappers

fabric scraps

family recipes

different textured papers

stamps

coins