rozan-from-mars

[rozan-from-mars]

my rage over my life must end.

I let the world consume me, diminish my warmth, while i shrink to fit in empty places.

I must find my place in me.

The cost of love, I have paid. Living shouldn't cost me as much.

I need to be stubborn, steal, take what's mine.

Seat next to the river, amongst sand and stone, keep what feel like home, let the river take away what cuts.

make enough place to fill myself with acceptance, let in tremor of happiness.

Guilt, doubt, escape, I'll never choose, even for love, even for myself.

[rozan-from-mars]

Living just keeps getting harder. I want love, I want to be surrounded by people I love where ever i am. I want to work hard for the things i love. I want to exist in the most unbothering form of human existence.

I have lost all ambitions. I don't want to be seen, heard, cared for. I want to matter only to few people. Life doesn't allow me to hope anymore but I will use up all my strength only for the expectations of things.

[rozan-from-mars]

a poet's list of "beautiful" words

to try to include in your next poem/story

Ablution - the washing of one's body or part of it (as in a religious rite)

Acharnement - ferocity

Aegis - a shield or breastplate emblematic of majesty that was associated with Zeus and Athena; protection

Aery - having an aerial quality; ethereal

Aesthete - one having or affecting sensitivity to the beautiful especially in art

Anonymuncule - an insignificant anonymous writer

Bibliognost - one that has comprehensive knowledge of books and bibliography

Corpsing - the moment when an actor cracks up in laughter on stage during what is supposed to be a serious scene

Deliquesce - to dissolve or melt away

Euonym - a name well suited to the person, place, or thing named

Impedimenta - things that impede

Juvenescence - the state of being youthful or of growing young

Leucocholy - a state of feeling that accompanies preoccupation with trivial and insipid diversions

Maledicent - addicted to speaking evil

Palaeosophy - learning of olden times

Primaveral - of or relating to early spring

Satisfice - to pursue the minimum satisfactory condition or outcome

Vermilion - a shade of bright reddish orange

Vitativeness - love of life

Woodshed - (music-related meaning): to practice on a musical instrument

If any of these words make their way into your next poem/story, please tag me, or send me a link. I would love to read them!

More: Lists of Beautiful Words ⚜ Word Lists

[rozan-from-mars]

why do i always have to pick flowers from shards of glass.

I don't want to remember the taste of a broken heart, when I've only judged the moment of happiness in my life.

I had no choice.

It's not fare, the strength that I'm left with. It's not enough. I can't hold many things.

I really hope it gets easier. I want to hope.

[rozan-from-mars]

Aim of life is to find enough compassion that I can tolerate my own happiness.

[rozan-from-mars]

My father has been coming home late these days.

He comes in at night, quitlely, and comes to my room to check if I'm asleep. I usually fall asleep by the time he comes home but in the instances that I'm not, he makes sure that I've eaten something before I go to bed.

I always take my food to my room and eat while watchibg movies or shows on YouTube. In the times when my relationship with my family wasn't very good, I had developed a comfort in eating alone. This has continued on despite the change in the way I view my family.

When I go back to the Kitchen to clean my dishes, I see my father eat alone, with his trustee smartphone giving him company. I go into the kitchen and try to make small talk with my father. Generally he's curious about my works at school. I enjoy talking to him about all the skills and technical mastery that I get to do in my art projects but he never asks the meaning or outcomes of it. I could see that he never had any expectations from me. A sadder version of me had once interpreted that as projection of his own wasted ambitions in life but that too has changed with time. I now believe that my father is just kind. Kinder than I am.

I leave the kitchen with a glass of tea, and take a glance at my father before I head downstairs. Once again, I see him alone, enjoying the company of his phone. There used to be times when he used to yell at me for not eating with the family. This version of me makes my heart ache a little.

[rozan-from-mars]

Memories we associate with objetcs, with home and with space, can be strong attachments. People who move, who loose or have nothing to hold on to, retain to mundane objects, mark their lives to them and value to things of material importance.

A verse of poem written by my father, with an image of my interpretation.

#arrt_school_project

[rozan-from-mars]

Navarasa. Nine aesthetic of emotion.

[rozan-from-mars]

[rozan-from-mars]

I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such

[rozan-from-mars]

A familiar Interaction.

I see people I don't know everyday at the same place. When they look through the fences, into the open expanse, I sense a desire to stall and to dream. To slow down, lean and listen to the wishpers of liberated breeze, rarely heard in a trapped city, where everyone wants to leave.

I sense people talking back, to the wishpering breeze, with a freedom when they breathe, a moment where time halts, to not repeat. To understand why the things are the way they are, to understand the way a heart beats, to let your heart know that you hear, you hear every worries of it.

KATHMANDU.

[rozan-from-mars]

Cover Art

Oh Love - Ankit Shrestha. Also made few animted scenes for this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqN49_eMf3Q

[rozan-from-mars]

*Light&Flower*

Song: j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) Delaney Bailey

[rozan-from-mars]

Just...want to be this the whole year.

[rozan-from-mars]

As I glance through the window of my imagination, I see the world in different colours. My smudged self, fights the wave of time to stay for a little bit longer.