rsblmng

[rsblmng]

I am an empty house,

on a lonely hill,

boarded shut.

Beloved,

do you still

remember

how you climbed the garden wall

and,

with bleeding thorn-torn hands,

drew out the key you wore

around your neck?

Such a heavy weight to bear around your neck.

Such a heavy wait to bear.

Beloved.

[rsblmng]

Kept giving my best and best

for years and years,

only to be devastated

in return.

I’m so tired of the taste of

copper and salt.

[rsblmng]

Sorrow dripping from my eyes,

touch it to my mouth -

tastes just like you.

My erstwhile ruin,

return to me.

[rsblmng]

Maybe if I had loved you the way you wanted,

instead of the way I needed,

the hungry maw in your chest

wouldn’t have

devoured us

Whole.

Does your mouth taste of

sadness

or

greed?

[rsblmng]

Time heals all wounds

(fear,

despair,

betrayal)

except for

Longing.

[rsblmng]

Three years down -

only the rest of my life

to miss your

calloused fingertips

in my hair.

Only the rest of my life.

[rsblmng]

You kissed the

back of my neck like

goodbye

and yet

wondered why I didn’t

flounder

when

you proposed

an ending.

I’ve been tasting

salt

in your mouth for weeks.

Till next we meet,

lover.

[rsblmng]

We stood

back to back

for years

before

we realized we had

been turned

away from each other

all our lives.

(Beloved heartbreak,

beloved soul,

beloved broken glass

I need to make me whole.)

[rsblmng]

I loved you in all the ways that mattered:

The clasp of my hand when it lifted yours;

The curl of my lips to hide a shared joke;

My ever present self at your back.

I love you

But

You don’t believe me

As

Those words can never cross my lips.

Dear one,

The vow I’ve never had the courage to say,

Burns eternal -

Eating up the last one I ever said aloud.

Don’t leave me.

I am too weak for goodbyes.

I do not know who I am

Without you

Beside me.

[rsblmng]

I never told you but

I kept a small box

of keepsakes from moments

I treasured.

When the dust cleared and the box was

returned to me,

I opened that box and saw

all the pieces I saved of you.

Every memento I kept

was a glowing reminder of

my love for you.

I buried them in the sand -

all those bits of happiness -

tilted my head down and

watered them with my

tears.

Let them blossom in the

heart of the dessert

and let me

burn

under your unforgiving wrath.

(“I still love you,”

is the secret

that blooms between them.)

[rsblmng]

I cried.

Later on with just the

moon and stars to watch me

(the same stars we cradled each other through fire and hurt)

I cried -

for me,

for us,

and,

most of all,

for You.

You,

who are what I made you to be.

(Everything but

mine.)

[rsblmng]

Hurt me one last time,

Beloved.

Just say my name when you

let me go.

[rsblmng]

Your paper-dry hands,

still the warmest I’ve ever held,

that last time.

I still love you.

[rsblmng]

My

starlight in a bottle boy,

burning up from the inside.

My beloved supernova.

Finally come to end it all?

Finally going to let us rest?

[rsblmng]

Solar flare,

don’t you dare

burn

our house

down.

[rsblmng]

Time can only

heal the entry wound of the

poison barb

you left inside me:

rotting love,

festering longing -

purple toxin living in my

blood.

[rsblmng]

Your hand in

my hand,

but

time struck and

you stumbled —

down,

down,

down —

oh,

were our shattered knees

and

scraped hands,

blood-tinged teeth —

were they worth it?

(Was it worth it to

clasp

our hands

so tightly that

one circle, two —

rings of fire,

surrounding us both

forever?)