rutzyy

[rutzyy]

every heartstopper hug -> 2x02: nick and charlie

[rutzyy]

21st century humans-

We the 21st century humans!

We celebrate as we glance through the window of our room on the 100th floor,

The clouds seem to float beside our fingertips,

And the trees beneath, just a dot on a crusty canvas,

We look like proud spiders,

Settled in a cobweb made of lies and twists.

But hey that doesn't matter I say, and keep my eyes shut,

My subconscious now used to the false trade..

We've come a long way says my friend,

But did we count what we've lost, I ask,

So I wait and take out my journal,

It says, 'I learnt the wrong way of keeping myself afloat,

The others who didn't drowned in front of my eyes'..

Everyday I erode the human in me,

Little by little,

I chip it, cut it, soften it's edges, make out a monster of it,

Cause they said, humans won't survive in this economy darling,

Tame your heart, your brain, your conscience,

Cause that's the only way..

[rutzyy]

Oil spill~

I function like the ocean met with an oil spill accident,

Someone else's negligence ignited the anger in my tides,

Becoming violent I spread the oil all over me;

Now choking the marine life which flourishes beneath,

Gasping for air they lose their lives,

Floating by the surface one by one,

Like martyrs following a leader's call,

I try to regain my calm,

People helping me get off the oil, using sorbents,

I glance at the dead fish in sympathy,

But I'm equally hopeful that this isn't the end,

I will get rid of this cruel layer of oil over me,

It's just on my surface /yet it overpowers me/

But,

I will sustain the marine life,

I will sustain myself,

It will take time,

But, I won't let the life loose..

[rutzyy]

Some days~

Shun the bed of pointed swords,

And let the flowery pastures take it's place,

Why bind yourself to a rotting tree, with a chain full of thorns?

When the dainty bracelets wait to be clinged on to your pretty hands,

Don't go to the sea on stormy days, the narcissistic waves have nothing to give you but death.

I want the beach waves to tickle your feet instead;

On days when you are too tired to ask for help,

I want you to look at the moon, the stars, and the eyes of your loved one,

The universe will hold and cup your face,

And it'll take care of the rest..

[rutzyy]

Transparent-

Swept off the road,

I lie down with the dead leaves,

Transparent to the people around me,

I writhe in silence,

The passerby snake glances at me, but he too,

Slides over from my ankle to the other side,

The rain doesn't stop,

My drenched self fills in buckets,

Hardening like an ice apple,

I mobilize again,

Now somewhat visible to the people,

A walking cold body,

With a transparent soul freezed within,

It's ineffective scream trapped within,

I wonder what places I'll go like this,

As people try to scrape my layers of dissonance one by one,

I can't wait to be transparent again,

I can't wait to be human again..

[rutzyy]

Human unhuman human~

Very unfair, the way you got to unhuman yourself first to be human again, later.

Catching up on the fast paced industries until your feet tear off and bleed,

Until your eyes burn themselves dry for a little night sleep,

To travel the world, to love art, to love music, pay the highest of prices,

Even the nature which was free and naked, is now studded with manmade territories and reserved luxuries;

What a world we live in, how did we go so so wrong and how is it that there's no way back to stability?

[rutzyy]

Nightmares~

Sometimes I sit back thinking about the universe,

The way our body works involuntarily to make us survive,

I wonder how did nature think of adding nightmares to our system.

So uncalled and uninvited,

Trauma, embarrassment, abuse, all the memories you stuff and push deep inside, under the bed of your consciousness,

Suddenly show up like a movie you didn't book tickets for,

Like stalactites and stalagmites,

Mirroring the reality in your subconscious,

I ask why?

Whoever made us, listen to me,

Take this away I beg,

The slightest whimpers from a loved human,

Their waking up with drenched eyes,

Their palpitations while asleep,

Make me feel helpless,

What can my hug do to them, give a little warmth?

But what if I'm not there, who will hug my person? Will they keep suffering most nights?

Take the nightmares away, I'm crying to the universe..

[rutzyy]

Catalyst~

Walking by the coast,

I stumbled on a big shell,

Turned out it was a turtle,

Washed away on the shore,

Resting, listening to the waves crash and go,

Started making a castle beside it,

For it to know that it's a little away from it's home;

It looked peaceful though, the castle did no change to it.

I sat beside it,

We both in the same state of mind;

I saw my loved ones appear one by one,

To meet me,

As I got up with my startled yet twinkled eyes,

The people rushed to the ground as if they were quicksand;

Found out loneliness was just a catalyst,

To realize the worth of people in my life,

If love is so difficult to express,

Why is it the sole string making bridges?

[rutzyy]

Constellation~

Burnt myself up making a constellation of my people.

Stars are beautiful only when they're unreachable, right?

Look what the sun does, you can't even hug him on a rainy day, it just doesn't show up..

[rutzyy]

Love lies in-

Love lies in the link of a Spotify playlist I made by your name,

Will you giggle with me till I fill my bucket of hands with the rain?

I wonder if holding your waist was enough,

As i cling to you when we walk,

A little sync of the feet as we count the steps till the waves kiss our feet and turn back shy,

I wonder if the moon watches us while the clouds interrupt it,

For everyone seems to love the love we are in,

Holding little kittens and putting them on my shoulders,

Would you kiss me soft to take their place once they're gone?

Blotches of paint on your fingers from the brushes,

Would you make floating hearts on my cheeks like bubbles flying in the air,

If love was finding and choosing me even from the darkest deepest trenches,

Would you take a torch and lend me your hand?

[rutzyy]

Oh Vincent~

I bawl my eyes out as I watch this man,

A gentle gentle human, full of love,

An exquisite soul, which doesn't let go off his childhood laugh or tears, as he holds them firmly in the clutches of his heart.

His mind couldn't configure the paradox life was.

Born in an insane world of orderliness, practiced by fellow beings,

He found peace in the asymmetry of nature,

He painted the beautiful golden Sun of his,

pouring gold onto the fields, and a human in sight, looking pitiful, a metaphor of death, a pleasant death; death serving in the hands of nature.

Oh Vincent if you were alive today, I would make your best friend.

We could look at the clouds for hours and talk about stars, experiencing how soothing it is to let the breeze carry a fragrance of the nearest flowers to you.

Oh Vincent I would have held your hands and adored them,

For the way they obeyed the instincts of your brain.

The way you gifted us nature through your eyes,

The way every painting of yours, provokes the observer to feel it,

To feel every stroke of colour you poured on your canvas hastily,

To analyse the hand pressure you must have had while creating them,

To feel all the roller coasters of emotions you felt while making masterpieces,

Contradictory to your life which swept away in misery and loneliness.

Oh Vincent only if I had the power to meet you today,

I would've hugged you till eternity,

To transfer all your warmth in me and all my warmth in you,

So you would never ever feel cold, my dear..

[rutzyy]

Carrot and stick~

Another day, another commute, another lot of strangers sticking their legs tightly against mine,

Another tap on the shuffle option of my 'liked' songs,

Another day of listening to a rapper's wails, a lover's dream, a soul's walkaround through the puzzle of life.

I dream of chasing the clouds, they have little star tufts inside them,

But alas, the nights are starry yet scary,

Momentary slaps of wind in my face, making me teary eyed if I don't close them,

Why are the things I admire so hurtful to me?

Why do I love things like these, the dreams I hold on to?

The stars in clouds, the winds in face,

The silence under waters, the solitude in loneliness,

Life seems like a scam of sticks and carrots,

I'm hungry but I'm bleeding, where do I ask for help?

For everyone i see is a No face from Spirited away,

The friend? The predator? Who is what?

I see colours and textures in the sky,

And plain lands,

A vivid companion in dreams,

Can I die so I can dream forever?

If life's just episodes of nightmares with no cure,

As if a demon luring me with a conversation about the universe and it's magic,

only to later push me into a black hole?

Of thoughts, which take me so deep,

Where no one's hand would ever each?

[rutzyy]

Asymmetry~

Didn't know how flowing into the asymmetry of life would have me making symmetries to pass through,

Chasing angles holding on to triangles,

Safe and sound,

Captivating myself in their prison.

I wish I could break them open,

And jump around and swing on dynamic curves like those of the pretty moon,

Why are my ways too rigid, unlike nature,

Why am I too soft, like nature,

The gentleness makes me numb,

Like a rotten fruit stomped by a person's shoes,

That feeling of uselessness, even after trying,

Why does it persist?

If I'm already down on the road, living a fake death?

[rutzyy]

Stars~

I want no clouds in the night sky,

So the stars don't hide and show up to me,

Their twinkles from fire,

And the twinkle in my eyes as they fill up with water,

A unison of a sign of being strong,

And a reminder to hide sometimes but not fade away,

For years.

[rutzyy]

Love and grief~

How do we happen to overlook love?

Or why do we voluntarily let it brush past us,

It clings to be reciprocated,

But we seem tone deaf?

Talks to us until it's voice sublimates,

And turns mute.

Why do we long for it then later?

Do we love grief than we love love?

Is grieving easier than loving?

It is maybe,

Maybe because it lies somewhere under the night of expectations?

How does it work,

For you and for me?

[rutzyy]

The lines on our hands~

It's this thing about being human,

We pick up memories like notes during the whole life,

For it to flash this little movie of moments right before we die,

We strive to take notes neatly when it's all happy,

We immortalize everything in pictures and polaroids;

We tend to scribble the sad parts quickly,

Yet, they end up being etched in our nightmares involuntarily,

It's crazy how the human brain balances the quantum of these memories without us lifting a finger,

We paint the lines of our hands with every incoming relationship,

One line for one human,

Paintbrush strokes are forever;

The lines incomplete with badbyes end up in a crevice of dried crimson blood,

The lines incomplete with goodbyes end up in a crevice full of peeking flowers,

Losing people doesn't necessarily end up in loss of their presence,

All are a part of you even if they're now apart,

You see your painted hand and the variation of lines,

All journeys to badbyes don't start with crimson red,

And all journeys to goodbyes don't begin with white and green..

[rutzyy]