sad-shaped-triangle - Tumblr blog

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Allow me to present to you a rough translation of my dad singing:

Dad: I'm not dirt

Dad: ...

Dad: (yet)

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Everyday I wake up and have to choose between being well-dressed (aesthetically pleasing) or well-dressed (suitably for the weather)

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Other teachers: Always check your sources!!! >:(

My history teacher not giving a shit, showing us a map from tumblr: Anyway.

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Correction! I look at the place where my house would be if Google updated their maps. Checkmate.

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When you're able to remember exactly what kind of flower grew by your preschool, but not the stuff you're supposed to actually know. Great feeling, isn't it?

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When your physics test was supposed to happen a month ago, and you know it's going to happen but you already forgot everything.

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Do you know the feeling when you have old as fuck recipes from your great-grandmother with one specific and equally old cup, to which every recipe is adjusted, but the cup is also fragile and they don't produce them anymore, and then you break the cup?

That's what I'm feeling right now

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Me killing a character: I'm sorry... You're too smart... You would have figured everything out too fast... I'm sorry.

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My mother going through her mother's things:

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere with untold malice in her voice: I KNEW mother had WD-40!

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My mother on her phone: You could learn so much near the coffee machine. Everyone was there: tax people, IT guys, whole different floors... I miss it.

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Oh yes, the german language. A language in which the sentences can be stupidly long and you still won't know what's going on until you get to the end because that's where the verb is hiding, and even then it can be not fully complete, because some of them can split up.

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My mom: Why didn't you come quicker?!

Me: Why didn't you tell me that there was a fire?! I would have come quicker???

My mom: :o

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Documentary: All creatures are important and live in harmony.

Me: Ummm... Fucking mosquitoes?

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That feeling when you're watching a couple guessing the names of US states/European countries and against your better judgement you venture into the comments and all you see is total anarchy and people bringing up at least five centuries of european history in essays that are at the same time both better and worse than any other text you have ever seen.

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Me in English class: *not paying attention*

Teacher: *starts talking about the definition of photosynthesis*

Me: What. Why?

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Vacuum cleaner: Sock? No problem! You will never see it again without remembering this incident.

Also vacuum cleaner: Dust? No, that's too much for my poor existence!

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German teacher: Did you do your homework?

Literally every single person in the class: No.

German teacher: Then translate this.

Students: No.

German teacher: In that case repeat after me, as I talk to you through my shitty mic.

Class: Fine. But we're going to complain the entire time.