saltyjedimaster

[saltyjedimaster]

This is the only way I would accept Lance’s ending (along with Allura being alive, and they’re together and they both have their own careers). And we could’ve had this (along with alive Allura) if Monsantos weren’t such spiteful and resentful morons towards Lance. 

The only way I’m going to accept this “Lance is a Farmer” nonsense…

So after Allura’s sacrifice, the Paladins start falling into their niches and Lance is…struggling.

He didn’t think he’d stop being a paladin? That the term would become more of an honorary title instead of a full time job? He thought that maybe after everything was over, he’d settle down with Allura and maybe do the house husband thing while she rocks the universe in one way or another?

Lance could have been the best house husband.

Instead he flounders. He maybe tries to do something with the Garrison. Maybe starts training the next generation of fighter pilots. Iverson gets a kick out of it. But Lance is a damn good teacher, super supportive and patient too.

He also visits his friends. A lot.

He visits Conan. Did you know if Allura had lived, he could have been the Royal Consort? Weird, huh?

He bothers Pidge in the labs. He visits the Atlas to see his sister, Hunk and Shiro. He bugs and teases Keith whenever he can pin down the location of the Blades of Mamora.

“Hey Emperor-Not-Emperor Keith!”

“I swear Lance if that name catches on, I’ll stab you.”

It catches on.

Seeing his friends is good. Lance finds out something important though…they’re struggling too.

Hunk and Shiro are struggling keeping the crew of the Atlas fed on a long time basis. As well as serving banquet after banquet to mediate between warring planets.

Keith wants to use the Blades as a relief operation but the stigma against Galra is brutal. Few will trade or donate supplies to the cause. Especially food. The Blades are strong, the Blades can fight, the Blades can’t stop one child from starving.

So Lance does what he always does. He steps up. He becomes what people need.

He gets the most stupid and brilliant idea in the dead of night.

He first goes to Pidge.

“You want to become…a farmer.”

“Yes, Pidge.”

“A farmer. Really.”

“Yes, really!”

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

“I have no idea what I’m doing. That’s why I need you.”

So Pidge and her mom set Lance up with all the fancy agricultural equipment and know-how a budding novice could want. Miraculously, despite Lance absolutely wringing it, and with dubious leftover altean magic—

“I KNEW these glowing marks were for something!”

—Lance’s crops grow beautifully. It’s a large endeavor and Lance nails it. Therefore he becomes primary food supplier of the Atlas and the Blades of Mamora.

Hunk bakes him cakes for a month when it becomes official.

He also becomes a cargo pilot to deliver said supplies. He loves it. Especially when he still gets to pull some sweet moves now and then in Blue or Red (Because having the lions randomly disappear for no reason is a stupid turn of events and canon can bite my—plus Lance has and can fly both. It’s bible truth) because of you know…pirates.

Pirates, warlords and thugs that pop out of every asteroid for a piece of his crops.

The call of free food is strong.

Lance is able to outmaneuver every single one.

And that’s how I’d accept the strange twist of fate of “Lance the farmer.”

[saltyjedimaster]

K/ance/P/ance shippers: Allurance had so much potential, but I can’t ship it because it’s so poorly developed---

Me: Bitch, you ship a pairing with 5 minutes of total screentime for a show with eight seasons and most of that screentime was focused on the characters disliking/insulting each other.  You don’t give a single shit about writing and development. 

[saltyjedimaster]

Antis: I can’t ship Allurance ‘cause Allura didn’t show interest in Lance. :/

Also antis: So I’m going to ship Lance with Keith, who wished he blew up and didn’t want to spend eternity with him, or Pidge, who called him ugly and would rather hang out with Hunk.

[saltyjedimaster]

[saltyjedimaster]

Btw, just because I’ve been salting over Allurance hate, it doesn’t mean I dropped my love of Kacxa and Acxa. And I haven’t forgotten nor will forgive how the collection of clowns known as the VLD fandom treated Kacxa/Acxa after S7.  The bitching has only just begun. 

[saltyjedimaster]

Y’all ever flex on the fact that many Kl0nce stans like OP here pretend to give a fuck about Allura yet 90% of their blog is all about Kl0nce and the only time Allura gets mentioned by these jokers is to hate on her for being hailed heroic over poor sweet prince Lotor, when they need to cry crocodile tears over her not behaving like a good girl in a yaoi-obsessed fandom should which means shuffling off to another guy so she doesn’t interfere with their purely fanon yaoi ship getting with her more “feminist” love interest or use her as a matchmaker for their crack ship?

Y’all ever flex on the fact that many Kl0nce fans like OP here talk shit about Allurance being a garbage ship daily and how Kl0nce has so much evidence and chemistry in comparison yet have to rely on scenes from S1 and S2 and take a scene out of context to dismiss Allurance while at the same time, have to steal and use scenes from “shitty” Allurance and other ships for fan content because their precious Kl0nce doesn’t have much canonical basis and chemistry? And then have the nerve to gush over said Kl0nce “fanworks”?

Y’all ever flex on the fact that so many Kl0nce stans like OP here claim to be feminists yet accuse Allura of emotionally using her friend, talk like scandalized Victorians because Allura kissed Lotor first, therefore Allura must stay with him for ever and ever even in the wake of him lying behind her back, using her people like batteries, and trying to kill her twice and if she dared to move on, any man she dates is going to look awful for dating “ruined goods���? 

Hating on Allurance and its shippers on it isn’t going to make Kl0nce look better, erase the fact y’all clowned yourselves in thinking it was going to be canon, and/or make it suddenly become canon. Kl0nce is a purely fanon ship that has little to no basis and is mostly popular because of Keith and Lance’s archetypes and deluded yaoi fangirls like you just want to see two twinks kiss and fuck. ☕️

Allura also rebounded to Lance accepted Lance’s feelings a month and days after Lotor’s demise

Allurance was just a random, last minute,half assed, rushed plot ☕️

[saltyjedimaster]

Friendly reminder that if you say Allurance is shitty/problematic, then don’t flippin’ proceed to take its scenes and edit them to put some other character in Lance’s or Allura’s place or use Allurance scenes as an agenda for your own Lance/Allura ship. If your OTP is so “superior” and has so much “evidence”, then I’m pretty sure you can create shippy content for it just fine without needing to rely on a supposed “garbage-tier “ ship. 

[saltyjedimaster]

And that’s the tea, folks 💁🏽☕️✨

[saltyjedimaster]

Anti-Allurancers: Allurance have no chemistry!!!!!1111 It’s so forced and came out of nowhere!!!!11

Also anti-Allurancers:...and I conclude by the color scheme of this scene and the zoom-in Lance’s pen and undies, that Klance/Plance is endgame.

[saltyjedimaster]

Y’know, as time goes by and further hate Allurance gets, the more I appreciate the ship because of how it exposed the Voltron’s true colors. 

You guys are not feminist like you think you are nor are the Allura stans you claim to be. The whole stupid ass “rebound” and “first choice” arguments and arguing how Allura didn’t really love and appreciate Lance (and completely ignored the many times she supported and helped him) prove it. Point blank, these arguments were just good ol’ fashioned slut-shaming and Allura-bashing dressed up. 

You guys aren’t progressive like you think you are nor are the Lance/Voltron fans you think you are. The fact you guys spouted that a simple boy from Cuba has nothing to offer to Allura (thereby sounding classist and racist, btw) and how he’s a Nice Guy fuckboy but yet turn around and talk about Lance is your boy and OMG you love him when he interacts with Keith/Pidge and not think twice how it looks for the other half of your Lance ship to be shipped with a supposed “no-account fuckboy loser” proves it.

You guys aren’t as woke and aren’t for representation like you guys think you are. The fact you repeatedly threw Allura or Lance under the bus to prove how how their lighter-skinned/white counterparts provided better support than Lance/Allura , therefore is X is better than Allurance and/or slammed Allurance as “another terrible hettie ship” and not think how it’s an interracial ship that subverted gender roles prove it. 

You guys aren’t morally opposed to Klantis like you think are. The fact you willingly to hop into bed with the very Klantis and antis who slammed your ships as abusive/pedophilic in order to bash Allurance prove it. 

Voltron fandom, you guys wholeheartedly and completely embraced the very things you claim to hate and oppose. You embraced misogyny, slut-shaming, racism, classism, character-bashing and teaming up with the bullies with zero hesitation and all in the name of ship-bashing. 

Thank you, Allurance for being a beautiful ship that also exposed hypocrites. What an OTP. 

[saltyjedimaster]

Josh Hamilton (about Kacxa): It’s about paying a debt. 

LM and JDS (about Kacxa): It’s a mutual warrior respect. 

Y’all: OMG, what a bunch of heteronormative amd misogynistic bullshit!!!!! Ugh, why are the writers shoving this shallow ship down our throats and turning Acxa into a bland Keith dickrider and cheerleader?!1111111 Hacksssss!!!11 

[saltyjedimaster]

Anti-Kacxas: Kacxa would suck because it came outta nowhere! When did Keith and Acxa ever talk before s7? That’s right, never! Ha!

Also anti-Kacxas: Acxa should get with Romelle or Krolia! Sure they never talked before and barely know each other, but OMG, ladies loving ladies especially ladies who get in the way of my slash ships is so awsum! 😍

[saltyjedimaster]

Anti-Kacxas: Keith feels nothing for Acxa! He’s not interested in her!

Me: Yeah, when you feel nothing for someone, you totally don’t gasp their name when someone brings them up, willing rush into danger to save that same person and give them a look like this despite them being a former enemy who was a thorn in your friends’ side because she said you inspired her to change.

[saltyjedimaster]

VLD fandom at it again with crosstagging and displaying its misogyny through accusing a female character of being a dickrider or wanting her to die because they didn’t get their precious slash. 

You guys are becoming more hilariously predictable.  

So I get these two very opposing views about Acxa which I suspect has more to do with shipping than anything else. As I’ve said before I really don’t care what romantic pairing becomes endgame so I guess its ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I’m not here to judge any ships because at the end of the day I think shipping is a very personal thing. What one person sees as a cute, romantic thing is not viewed as romantic by another person because everyone has different views and preferences about romance. So shipwars are really just bullshit because you can’t force people to like what you like and sometimes love stories just don’t make sense, especially with a show like VLD which was supposed to be not about romance. So whoever ends up romantically will not save the show or make it better all of a sudden. I guess for some it may seem like a balm if their ship becomes validated but it won’t cancel out all of the show’s failures because it’s too late for that. And whatever happens to Acxa will probably suck but she was never a protagonist, so I’m sorry I’m really not bothered but whatever fate befalls her. What bothers me more is how badly they’ve treated their main characters.

[saltyjedimaster]

Kacxa Week Themes

Oct. 7th: Future

Oct. 8th: Crossover/AU

Oct. 9th: Constellations/Stars

Oct. 10th: Scars

Oct. 11th: Quiet/Tender Moments in Chaos

Oct. 12th: Cosmic Wolf Bath

Oct. 13th: Sparring/Bonding

Thank you to all who voted! Can’t wait to see what you all come up with!

[saltyjedimaster]

Anti-Allurancers/Kacxa: *purposefully puts anti-Allurance and anti-Kacxa posts in both ships’ tags*

Allurance/Kacxa shippers: Hey, can you not put your anti stuff in our ship’s tag, please? 

Anti-Allurancers/Kacxas:

[saltyjedimaster]

Anti-Allurancers: *surviving on scraps of canon content for their ships* LOL, Allura said Lance’s ears are ugly in the guidebooks! LMAO Allurance who?

Allurancers: *well-fed from hours and hours of canon content and know some quote in a children’s book can’t and won’t undo those moments of Allura and Lance growing closer and on the likely path of becoming a couple*