I'm Matti. I'm a ginger with a soul, and this is a blog I write. Consult the FAQ for additional information.
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We've Moved!

Go to http://salvagescheme.com for more original content, and come back here for some duplicated content.
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The Four Hour House Flip

First of all, we aren't flipping a house. We are, however, reviewing free options for recreating spaces through rearranging furniture, wall hangings, etc., and we're using my apartment as the example.
When I first moved into my apartment, I was excited by the mere premise of living alone, and being the sole decision maker. This led to haphazard furniture placement, because it couldn't be that bad, and who cares? I LIVE ALONE!
Being somewhat of a perfectionist and a creative idea reeler, the initial arrangement didn't satisfy. I had an unnecessary dining room, and a somewhat clumsy living room that doubled as an office. It was cute, but not quite right, and certainly not something I would now feel pleased with posting to the interweb.
As my impatience grew, I non-strategically, mostly impulsively chose a Sunday afternoon to flip my apartment, and was hellbent on finishing it before my 9 p.m. social engagement. The dining room would become an office, and the living room would house the communal dining table and seating area. Mustering my meager strength, I commenced the furniture hauling, starting with the dining room.
Before, it was a designated eating area, perfect for the four people who signed up for my frequent diner's club, and appropriate for my lavish dinner parties.

No one wanted to dine that day.

No one wanted to party this day, either.
So I turned it into an office:

Functionality! A desk illuminated!

Planning/idea/writing space in the form of chalkboard panels! I knew the moldings were good for more than just eye candy. (The chalk painting is excluded from the flip time, that took me about two hours).
Happy with new space to come up with DIY's and spray paint things, I was forced to deal with the table I moved out of the room. No place for it to go other than the living room, I suppose. Before, my living room was set up like this:

The confused sitting area.

More confusion, more sitting.

The closely neighboring, across-from-the-couch office space (now in the dining room).
I wanted to open the living room up a bit, while still managing to house all my furniture, including the dining room table. Although challenging, I was able, through trial and error and some strength training, to accomplish said goal.

Symmetry and an orchid helped.

And a sunlit dining area fit perfectly.

Lastly, the bland "office" was transformed into a colorful seating space with an experimental horizontal gallery wall.
Finally, I had to deal with the bookcase that was formerly adjacent to the desk, now replaced by the green chair.

Before, a picture unintentionally representative of imbalance.

After, a well rounded and functional door-framing wall.
As a bonus and final initiative to revitalize my new space, I added a curtain to the wall between the living and work areas:

While my apartment will never reach the levels of perfection, it has transformed into a more fluid, functional space that consequently looks simpler, edited, and classic.
If you experience a similar urge to make your house over, or have grown tired of your current setup, toy with the following:
Furniture placement. You won't have to go to the gym that day.
Function: do you need that extra seating area, or would the space be better used for something else?
Wall hangings: Experiment with grouping and alignment. Gallery walls are a popular choice, but also try a series of frames or pictures hung in an orthodox way, perhaps being aligned according to the bottom edge rather than the centers.
And that completes my rudimentary guide to recreating your space. Oh, and belated apologies for the flurry of photo filters.
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All Made Up: Repurposing Old Makeup

In September of 2012, I read a Vogue piece regarding actress Leelee Sobieski's Tribeca Home, in which it detailed some of her and her artist husband's decorative artwork. The art collection included the following piece:

Her husband, Adam Kimmel, love-commissioned her to assist with this piece, in which she kissed her lips into exhaustion using myriad shades of lipstick. Of course, this immediately prompted me to do something similar (blog cover photo), as well as paint a portrait with leftover foundation, dated mascara, and discarded shades of lipstick.

Which brings us to the first use for old makeup: "painting," or making kiss prints, either on a large scale canvas, or on a smaller scale, with framed paper.
Another, perhaps obvious albeit practical use for worn down or outcasted lipsticks is cream blush. Use a brush to extract the product, dab it on your cheeks, and rub in. Ensure the product doesn't clog your pores, as cheekbone blemishes are obnoxiously prominent on the face.


The same lipstick remnants can be mixed with Vaseline or Aquaphor to make tinted lip balm. Have at it.
Lastly, if you're displeased with the Clinique eyeshadow samples your mom handed down to you, or the ones you obtained yourself while making a big girl purchase, you can use the harsh shades of ochre or strangely warm shades of brown as an eyebrow filler.

I swear there was more of a distinction between the before and after prior to uploading this, but despite its flaws, here are my eyebrows, sparse and natural juxtaposed with the eyeshadow enhanced:

I swear by its effectiveness, although it may be hard to tell from the comparison photo. Representative photo or not, old makeup has its uses, so you may as well get more for your dollar, or at least increase your creative supply free of charge.
Paint a Picture or Your Face,
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Home Tour: Clare's Loft, Complete with Persian Carpets

My friend Clare rented a loft. A 1,200 sq. ft loft with exposed brick and an upstairs office space and refinished kitchen. Then she let me take a tour of it. I die.
As frustrating as the City of Milwaukee can be, one thing will forever be treasured: the ridiculously low cost of living. For less than a garbage can in Manhattan, you can rent a loft this size in Milwaukee. Do you want to live in Milwaukee? Probably not. Do you want to live in this apartment? Probably yes. Oh, the trade-offs.

I even die at the front doors. Dead.

Entry way. Crooked photo, spot-on/spotless rug.

Up the stairs to the lofted office, where Clare greets us with should-be-grotesque but somehow charming expression. That's what happens when you look like a supermodel - you can make gross faces and still look attractive. Just like her supermodel apartment.

Lofted office bookcase.

Office desk & accompanying chairs.

Aerial view of the living room from the office balcony.

Different angle, similarly stunning. I'd sleep on that coffee table if it meant I could live there.

Bedroom. Minimal, temporarily bed frame-less, but elegant in its non-fuss.

Bed. Cat pillow. 'Nuff said.

The dresser, and the only piece of furniture other than the bed. I need to clean out my apartment.

Oh, the empty room. The empty workspace/fashion stylist designated room that Clare is allowing me to assist in decorating. Thoughts? Opinions? Stenciled wall? Anyone?

Clare in workspace designated room. Art work to hang [maybe].

Setting the tone for the workspace. Clare's measurements and all.

And the kitchen. I failed on the hallway and bathroom front, so make this one count. It's purdy.
The end. Are you looking on Craig's List for apartment options? Cool; did that yesterday.
Loft on & know that these gems are out there,
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Fix Your Face Makeup Tutorial: The Good Kind of Pink Eye

Is there a good kind of pink eye? There is if its painted on with makeup, and if it's mauve instead of pink. It's fix-yer-face Friday (not that you need it, you're naturally lovely)!
Image via paperless post & myself
A few things before we get started. It's excruciatingly difficult to get quality shots of yourself when you have an iPhone and are also the photographer. A video would have been the smart choice, but I decided not to delve into learning that dance yet.
Also, my bathroom is tiny, and the majority of it overtaken by the large water buffalo shower curtain I have. If you are concerned and or/curious about the background of any of these photos, that is probably the culprit.
And now we can proceed to the makeup tutorial. I frequently experiment with different colors and different types of liner techniques, and this particular day I chose to highlight my peepers with pinky mauve tones and a double winged cat liner. Keeping it freaky and classy at the same time, people. It's a hard balance to strike, but I assure you it can be done.
For makeup, I used:

Quick tip: If you, like myself, cannot afford a multitude of fancy makeup brushes, go to an art store and buy the most basic set of paint brushes. My talented friend gave me this tip, and considering her makeup is perfected to on-screen cinema level at all times, I took it and ran with it.
As you know by now, I always try my darndest to eat and wear eco-friendly, ethically responsible things, and my makeup isn't an exception. In this case, I used a L'Oreal liquid eyeliner pen, which is a big NO-NO because they are not on the list of companies that do not text on animals. So, when doing this yourself, I urge you to consult the list and use a brand that is in compliance with the list. If you don't want to click the link, here's the full list, via Beauty Fool:

I'm aware that was a bit tangential. Sorry. Anyway, the most important makeup tools employed in this tutorial are from E.l.f. I used an 18 piece eyeshadow palette and all-over color stick in pink lemonade.

To get a bit more specific, we will be using the following eyeshadow colors (numbered):

Before I put on any of the color-washed shimmer, my face looked like this:

Natural, but boring. To remedy the bland, I took the following measures:

Use color 1 as an eyeshadow base, applying on lid from the lash line up to the lid crease. Use color 2 from just above the crease to under the eye brow, highlighting the brow bone.

Use an angled artist's brush or makeup brush to apply color 3 into the crease of the lid and on the outer corner of the lid.

Then use the eyeliner pen to create the cat eye, starting at the inner corner, working your way out. Because I foolishly yet purposely eschewed the use of a video, here's a Youtube tutorial that will assist you in creating a cat eye look. After finishing the liner along the top lash line, I usually put a bit on the lower lash line, from the outer edge of my iris out to the corner, connecting it with the top lash liner. After this, apply a few coats of mascara, and don't forget to curl your lashes.

Lastly, use the all-over color for your cheeks and lips, completing the pinky hued face presentation.

Your face, minus the strange green-tinged filter, should look something like the above photos.
So there it is. Feel free to frolick about in the warm glow of feminine hues and the feigned look of innocence you exude with those pinched pink cheeks. Gets 'em every time.
Bat Those Lashes,
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From the Fridge: Three Meals, One Broccoli Cashew Pesto

image designed via paperless post

Having recently purchased a blender, I am a little excitable when it comes to [naturally] processed food. My diet has been partially liquid for the last four days, and I don't intend to stop. Liquid devotion aside, I did concoct a few recipes that combine blended sauces and such with solid, chewable foods, creating simple, easily recreated meals.
First up is the sauce itself: broccoli cashew pesto.
You will need:
1 1/2 cups cooked broccoli
1 cup raw spinach
1/4 cup soaked cashew pieces
3 tbsp lemon juice
2 large minced garlic cloves
plenty of olive oil
salt and cracked pepper to taste
Soak cashew pieces in water for 2 hours
Boil broccoli until tender
Combine strained & dried cashew pieces, minced garlic, broccoli, spinach, and lemon juice in a blender or food processor
Pour at least 2 tbsp olive oil in the blender, and hit the puree setting
Simultaneously add olive oil through the blender opening while pureeing, and allow to puree until smooth (you can add more olive oil to thin the sauce if you'd like)
Add salt and pepper to taste (I used about 2 tsp of sea salt and 1 tsp of freshly ground pepper)
You're done. Yields about 1.5 cups pesto (this is a highly improvisational recipe, so you can adjust the amounts to your liking, as the finished product is dependent upon how thin or thick you would like the pesto)
Prep time (excluding cashews, which can be done the night before): 10 min
Cooking time: 5-7 min
Now that that's over with, you can make the following...

Garden Layer Sandwich
This open faced sandwich was inspired by the 4-layer vegan sammy from oh she glows, an enviously enticing vegan food blog that produces recipes as good as its photography.
You will need:
Sprouted bread (I used Ezekial sprouted 7 grain)
A sliced tomato
Hummus of your choice
Baby spinach
Broccoli cashew pesto
Sriracha
Vegan ranch ---> good recipes here and here

Toast two slices of bread
Spread each slice with a tbsp (or more) of hummus
Assemble a layer of baby spinach atop the hummus, followed by a couple slices of tomato
Spread a tbsp of pesto on top of the tomato slices
Drizzle with vegan ranch and Sriracha
Yields one sammy, but can be duplicated if not satiated.
Prep time: Negligible
Cooking time: Negligible ( killin' the lazy culinary game)
The next pesto-coated recipe is...

Pesto Marinaded Baked Tofu Salad
I read a lot about baked tofu on The Kitchn. Then I decided it would be brilliant to pose the "let's make pesto into a marinade" challenge to myself. Unknowing of the end result, I hesitantly thinned the pesto into a marinade in which I immersed strips of tofu, and then baked them. The final product was not only edible, but delicious, so now it's on this infrequently read blog.
For this recipe, you will need:
1 block of organic tofu
Broccoli pesto (bla bla)
Spinach
Collard greens (blanched)
1/4 cup cashew pieces
1 sweet onion (I used a Vidalia)
1 carrot, shaved
1 tbsp olive oil
Lemon juice
Filtered water
Reduce excess moisture in tofu by setting it between two plates, and putting pressure on the top plate with soup cans or something similar; liquid will collect around the block of tofu
After the water is squeezed out, dry the tofu with napkins or cheesecloth
Cut the block of tofu into one inch strips
Thin the pesto with lemon juice and water (I also added hot sauce)
Dip the tofu in the marinade, and arrange on a plate
Pour the remaining marinade over the tofu strips
Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour, if not overnight
After it's sufficiently marinaded, put on a baking sheet and make for 40 minutes at 350

For the salad, throw together the spinach, onion, cashew, shaved carrot, and blanched collard greens (as much as either you can eat or is appropriate for the guests you are serving). For the dressing, use the olive oil and lemon juice, and add sea salt and pepper to taste. You can put all the dressing fixings directly on the greens. Then, top with the baked tofu. I thought three strips was enough for one, but eat ALL THE TOFU if you please.
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 40 minutes
Assembling time: 5 minutes
Lastly, you can exhaust your pesto use by making pesto and "spaghetti" [squash].

I forgot to take a picture of mine, of course, so this one is taken from Living Well at Market Street via Google search.
To make spaghetti and pesto, cut the squash in half and rub with olive oil, salt and pepper. Place the squash halves face down on a baking sheet, and bake at 400 degrees for 40 minutes. Allow to cool and scoop out the spaghetti.
Strain the squash to eliminate excess water, toss with some pesto, and top with fresh chopped tomato and basil.
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 40 minutes
Cooling/assembling time: 20 minutes
Eat all the squash, all the tofu, and all the layered sandwiches until you can't bear the thought of consuming pesto and would prefer to be hammock-style-carried to your sleeping quarters.
Tell your mom I said you can "EAT IT,"
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Reign of the Style Duchess Commences: Luxe Fabrics & Print

As the first formal Style Duchess post, I feel it might be wise to lay a foundation regarding regal post templates. First and foremost, I rarely purchase new things. If I do, they're usually from American Apparel, as I've become increasingly more conscious of manufacturing processes and the (un)ethical nature of individual retailer's practices, and AA doesn't employ the use of sweatshops. I'm aware the store hires people who are skinny and have thick eyebrows and whatnot, but in this case I am choosing what I opined to be the lesser of two evils.
Ignoring the fraction of my wardrobe which represents retail buys, the remainder can be attributed to the vintage or second-hand sector, which makes it more challenging to suggest specific retailers from which to (not literally) steal the look. Therefore, I will strive to adhere to following script when dictating what to wear, etc.:
I will tell you what I'm wearing, although it's more often than not available for purchase in this decade
I will suggest two to three options containing similar items that are available in this decade and hopefully this season
The options will contain at least one ethically made garment and one "vintage" or secondhand item that you can buy now
I will always contain links to items when possible
Glad that's out of the way. And one more thing: I peruse the editorials of Vogue, W, as well as ramblings of certain smart fashion blogs, but I by no means look to these sources for directions regarding dressing myself. I've been capriciously selecting my wardrobe since the age of two, changing clothes up to three times daily, and little has changed since. That was a lengthly, polite way of saying that you might not like what I wear, which is fine. In my sartorial world, I say "let it do what it do." Fashion is cyclical, so if it's not cool today, it might be in three years in which case I'm ahead of the damn trend.
Now, off with their heads! Kidding. Channeling the Queen of Hearts for a moment. Let's transition into the other Queen of [Bleeding] Hearts character and examine some reused and responsibly made clothing.

Like medieval torture it was, snapping these photos. The very green photographer, also known as my mother, projected the persona of a seasoned image captor, ardently declaring "Keep moving! Give me something…anything!" Clear in image and action that I'm no Coco Rocha (but we do share the same Tumblr theme, hehe), so the pictures are crap, but they'll get better, I assure you, as soon as my sheepish attitude diminishes due to inevitably becoming camera desensitized (jokes). After all, I'm posing for my mom, for Frank's sake.
Anyway, I decided to throw on the equivalent of flourless chocolate cake with a caramel layer and peanut butter ganache, an outfit combination containing fabrics and prints that possess a deliciousness that is potentially tantamount to the gut-ache-inducing richness. AKA, things that can look boss together but can also be TOO MUCH.
Too much aside, let's take a look at the detail before we get to the breakdown...

In this equation, I combined:
velvet vintage Jones New York blazer with gold sleeve embroidery + sheer white blouse + cheetah/bigscaryfeline print pants
This can be reduced to:
luxe fabric + neutral basic + print
Here's another scenario involving mix & match with items from my wardrobe, based off what would coordinate with a blue velvet American Apparel Dress (which I do own):

White Jacket: Mossimo for Target; Faux leather sleeve jacket: Zara; Leather hobo bag: Kelsi Dagger; Grommeted leather purse: Thrifted Cole Haan; Patterned pocket purse with long strap: Thrifted Banana Republic
Those are my general guidelines, but do with them as you wish. Choosing metallic or bejeweled accessories and/or jewelry might be nice as well, but again, it's up to you.
And finally, I shall provide you with some real time, in season options for the print & luxurious material combo:

1. People Tree Striped Blazer 2. Zara faux leather lapel blazer 3. Vintage Scott McClintock cropped velvet blazer

1. Modavanti Vintage "Clueless" dress 2. Asos leopard cami dress 3. Vintage blue velvet shirt dress with *sparkles*

1. Asos Africa trousers with plaid trim 2. Black Milk Giraffe leggings 3. Asos Jilla and Jale wide leg sheen trousers
Welp, that rounds out the suggestions. For additional green or ethical suggestions, visit the Green Room at Asos.com or Modavanti.com.
Happy Clothes Changing,
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Decorative Storage: DIY Hanging Shelf

I've had this old metal serving tray for months, which was handed down to me from a friend of mine. It's been rusting in my storage closet, until TODAY. 10 minutes and zero dollars later, I turned it into a fabric lined hanging shelf that I immediately photographed and unnecessarily posted to Instagram.
To complete this project, you need is an old serving tray, some fabric, and an adhesive like superglue. Make sure you like the fabric, because it's going to be the backdrop for your shelved items. I used an old tapestry I had in my closet from my bird obsessed college days.
If you don't have these items on hand, as I'm sure most non-hoarders people don't, you can get a tray at a thrift store, and fabric at a craft store or from your closet, provided you haven't cleaned it out in a while.

After gathering the materials, measure the base of the tray and cut the fabric accordingly.

Once you've cut out the fabric, superglue it to the base of the tray. Use the glue sparingly, as generous application may result in sticky fingers and looking real stupid for a while.

After you've successfully lined the "shelf," determine how you'd like to hang it up. Since this tray has a decorative metal design at the top, I opted to attach a ribbon and hang the shelf from a nail (although a hook would look better). If you have a lighter tray made of wood or plastic, you could adhere the tray to the wall with non-damaging Command strips.

Then fill it with stuff. I filled mine with my wine money bank and a few standby toiletries. Nothing like chic lady items above a radiator.


As a bonus, here is an example of a wood tray "shelf," which I stole from my chalkboard serving tray project:

Enjoy storing and displaying lightweight items,
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Trend Reflection: A Practical, Accidental Application of 2013 and 2014 Home Design Trends

This post is a culmination of several months research, research being a relative term I use for the purpose of categorizing my activity as being intellectual. Realistically, the last few months produced some curiosity that led me to consult design articles or authorities for what was kosher in regard to home design. I of course never consult these things before I decorate anything, I just go with my gut and hope that nothing is a big no-no.
As I have now completed my research, I found that my design amateur apartment has some budget conscious and practical applications of home decor trends from last year and this year. WOW! Of course, it's a temporary renter's version of any specified trend, and I'm not completely sure a design expert would agree with my "on trend" evaluation, but I thought it was a fun game to play and document.
As my design sources, I referred to Elle Decor, House Beautiful, Houzz.com, and The Wall Street Journal, found via a highly academic and rigorous source selection process known as a Google Search.
You can find 2013 trend sources here and here. 2014 trend sources can be found here, here and here.
In relation to 2013 trends, I found the following throughout my apartment:
Brass (I am also counting antiqued gold)

Lace

Green/Blue (Emerald was the color of the year in 2013, but blue was also noted as a trending color)





Downsizing (I had no say in this matter, as I can only afford a small apartment, but it's always interesting to challenge yourself to make certain things multi-purpose in order to save space)

Neutrals
I am not going to post pictures for this trend, as my entire apartment is white with colorful accents. I assure you, it's plenty neutral.
Pertaining to 2014 trends, I located the following accidental incidences of today's home style:
Window Sheers

Neutrals, Again (See above for an example of ubiquitous apartment neutrals)
Bejeweled Kitchens (This one isn't my doing, but the robin's egg blue porcelain sink along with the previous tenant's Campari poster were two factors that solidified my decision to rent this apartment. I also realize my sink has dirty dishes in it)

Turquoise
I will again abstain from posting photos, as evidence of greeny blue is consistent throughout the entire post.
Vintage Wonders
Same, because almost all of my belongings are used items. We've been over this.
Additional Trends
These aren't trends as much as they are observations or themes I've either noticed or used, and simultaneously serve as inexpensive ways to decorate.
Framed prints, fabric, or paper (Yes, some of it is decorative leftover tissue paper, still looks decent according to my standards)

Dried Flowers (Can't afford real ones every week? Just let them die and them hang them up!)

If this were an established blog, now would be the opportune time for me to ask things like, "what trends did you find in your home?", "what trends do you foresee for 2014?", and "which ones do you like the most?" But it's not, so I won't ask them, particularly because I don't know what I'm doing.
In spite of and in light of the fact that I am no expert, I will tell you that I've come to the following conclusion: You can still have a nicely decorated home without consulting every trend list, trend watch, or design blog. I used my apartment as an example, but I'm sure there are many renters who have charming apartments based on their own eye for design, and maybe a glance or two at Pinterest. Either way, go with your gut (unless it's been historically and consistently wrong), obtain some timeless pieces that can be altered with accent pieces, and work with the mistakes you will inevitably make. My house is full of them, and I still fancy it a pseudo adult dwelling.
As an exit, I will leave you with a trending song. Leave it to synth pop to somehow always fall within the definition of trendy. Dance uniquely to this right here.
Happy Trend Forecasting & Trendy Dancing,
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Gift List Addendum: Man in the Mirror

Forgot these frameless mirrors. One of the most thoughtful gifts I received, as the giver witnessed me struggling with the decision to purchase them, as it was later encouraged and decided the money was better spent on others. Then the fu**er got 'em for me. Don't mind the choppy Photoshop compilation.
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A Few of My Favorite Things: An Unorthodox, Belated Gift List & NYE Playlist

Most blogs feature a gift list before the holidays. This one, however, is only made possible because of the gifts I so generously received during the holidays. All the gifts I gave involved cookies and vegan lip balm, with the exception of the pocket square I gave to my brother, so I present you with an entirely backwards wish list.
Because I became fortunate enough to encounter loads of substantial, generous people who are willing to spend time with me over the holidays, and because I was born to a lovely set of parents who also bore a lovely boy, aka my brother, I received quite a few gifts. Some gifts I gave to myself, but each of them are original, thoughtful, and will no doubt propel me into the new year with a sense of appreciation.
I figured these gifts/activities/sights might also be appreciated by others - hence publishing this reverse gift list. When possible, I've included links to the products in case you'd like to purchase them for yourself or someone you intend to shower with glory in the form of a present.
Shall we begin?

Number One: Isaac Mizrahi riding boots, purchased on super sale at Macy's (as the gifter informed me). At the rate I purchase shoes (a good pair every two years?), I will be tromping around the slush in these for the next several winters.

Number Two: A photo print of Marilyn Monroe. My friend gave this to me along with a collection of other saucy photo prints as a housewarming gift.

Number Three: Caviar. I've tried it once or twice, haven't eaten it in five years, and have no clue what to do with it, other than attempt to make blinis and throw them, topped with the fish eggs, on my table during a party, at which everyone is too sloshed to eat it. Doing it anyway.

Number Four: A postcard from a friend inviting me to "reserve" a time in which I stay at her Los Angeles home. One of the most charming paper gifts I've ever received, and a brilliant way to reconnect with long distance friends and extend a free but immensely valuable holiday gesture.

Number Five: My mom's scrappy Christmas tree. It's non-traditional and perfectly pathetic, and adorned as if it's the mightiest Frasier fir.

Number Six: This black orchid and amber candle my friend gave to me. It can be found at Target, is made with essential oils in darling Minnesota, and smells like a very pleasant dream.

Number Seven: If my apartment allowed smoking, and if I had friends who carried around cigars, this gift would be perfect. The book isn't too bad, either. You can find it here on Amazon for the right price.

Number Eight: I bought myself a bedroom rug instead of a New Year's Eve dress. I can't for the life of me find it on the interweb, but I can tell you I purchased it at TJ Maxx for $29.99.

Number Nine: A hand-me-down brain exercise book. No comment on why it's necessary.

Number Ten: Christmas Day bowling. A tradition that should be implemented by families and friends everywhere.
Bonus! Number eleven as pictured above: Ugg lace-up brown leather gloves. These are a pretty penny, but here's a pair on eBay with a less offensive price tag. Don't lose them.
I hope you found some of these gifts to be heartwarming and/or desirable. As an additional source of entertainment, I'll leave you with a NYE appropriate Spotify playlist containing a few of my favorite songs of 2013.
Here ya go.
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DIY Holiday Gifts, Bridget & Matti Edition

The raven haired beauty to the left of me is called Bridget (I'm not British but that phrasing rolled of my fingertips quite naturally). She frequently engages in creative projects relating to home improvement and possesses a similar life budget, so we are essentially craft soul mates.
Our aligned, craft-spirited souls allowed us to have a whole DAY dedicated to crafting, in which we completed two simple, cheap projects that we later found to be "interpretations" of some housewares in the Anthropologie holiday gift guide: lace motif painted plates and marbled candle holders, pictured below.
As a forewarning, ours don't look like those. Those look more professional and polished, and the price tag is in accordance with the aesthetic. I will say, however, that our crafts turned out nicely, and with glassware from the dollar store and three dollar Martha Stewart paints, we win the hypothetical budget war. I will also say that Bridget's candle holders turned out better than my lace plates, because she's just better, and because I approached the whole project pretty stupidly, mostly because I'm impatient. I'll tell you why after I display the good part of craft day.

Marbled Candle Holder
To make, purchase glassware from The Dollar Store or a thrift store, and purchase some glass or any surface paints from a craft store like Michael's. We went with Martha Stewart craft paints. You will also need some beads or marbles to roll around with paint in the candle holder. You can also get those at The Dollar Store, or cut up some tacky beaded necklace you don't wear anymore (I realize I might be the only one who has those.)

Start with this.

This step is optional, but you can thin the paints by pouring them into a cup and adding water. Bridget recommends doing so, as the marbled effect is more easily achievable when the paint is less viscose and more fluid.

Pour the thinned paints into the candle holder. You could stick with one or two colors, or get a little crazy and go with three or four. Just make sure they coordinate.

Throw the beads or marbles in the base of the candle holder, then roll them around by tilting and rotating the glassware. The marbles act as the paint dispersal mechanism, and also create the milky marbled effect, so this part is important.

After rolling the beads in the holder, dump them into a cup and admire your work. It should end up looking something like the holder pictured above.

Allow to dry, insert candle, light, and immerse yourself in the colorful ambiance. Or give them to someone as a gift and tell them to do the same.
Now onto the bad part of craft day.

Lace Motif Painted Plates
These turned out ok, but the whole process was unnecessarily difficult. First of all, the Martha Stewart line has a kit full of lace and patterned screens that make the entire craft an absolute cinch.
If you're me, you want to do the thing grassroots DIY and don't want to wait until you have the appropriate materials, which would be paper doilies rather than actual lace trim (Michael's was short on doilies). Not sure if you know this, but since lace is both partly woven and soft cloth, it doesn't make for a precise stencil. Instead, it allows for paint absorption and seeping. So my version turned out to be the charmingly imperfect version.
If you want precision, I recommend getting the Martha kit, or purchasing paper doilies and adhering them to the back of the plate with a weak adhesive (3M makes a good spray adhesive and can be found at almost any drugstore).
Now onto the photo instructions.

You should purchase clear plates, as you will be painting the back of them due to the paint not being suitable for eating surfaces. If you want to use them for display only, paint either side. If you want to use them as dessert or hors d'oeuvres plates, paint the back as to avoid toxin ingestion (Merry Christmas, your plate is adorned with inedible surface paint!). Wipe the surface clean with rubbing alcohol or nail polish remover.

Next, secure the design on to the back of the plate. I did a horrible job of this, as I taped either side and hoped the thing would stay in place. Stupidity at its finest. As mentioned before, use a weak spray adhesive that will act to temporarily secure the stencil or design.

Choose your paint color.

Then paint the design by filling in the negative space. Since I used real lace, I had to use a tiny paint brush to get create even a semblance of the design. If you use a doily, you should be able to paint over the entire thing and still obtain the precise, print-like result.

Surprise! It's a mess! Another reason to use a doily. While this appears to be horrid, it is still salvageable.

I went back in and painted some of the detail by looking at the lace trim.

After you've finished painting, allow an hour to dry. If you used the doily method, you can remove the doily after the paint has dried completely.
I recommend sealing the design with a gloss or matte water soluble sealant like Modge Podge, or if you plan on soaking the dish in water at some point, use an acrylic sealer. If you use Modge Podge, hand wash the dishes and try not to douse the back of the plate with water or suds.
Well, there it is. One good craft, one bad craft, two good people wearing the same thing. At the very least, I hope that this 2-4-1 post has provided you with some DIY gift ideas.
Christmas Cheer To You!
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Party Foul: How to Throw An Impromptu Gathering Without Making a Big One

Last week, I decided to have a holiday party. To be more specific, I decided on Monday that I was going to have a holiday party on Thursday. I "convinced" my very easy going cousin that we should have a joint party because our mothers, who are sisters and inseparable best friends, wanted us to have one, and I selfishly wanted someone other my landlord to see my apartment.
I learned many things from having this get-together, most of them regarding party planning mistakes, but I also learned that it is possible to have an inexpensive, last minute gathering that is both presentable/documentable and enjoyable, despite those mistakes. So now I shall share with you both my happy secrets and miserable failures.
DON'T send your invites out three days beforehand. No matter how far in advance you send the invitations, you can still do the same, minimal amount of prep work. Luckily, I still had guests, but quite a few of the invitees already had festivities planned, and they missed out on my shrimp baguette thing and champagne cocktail.
DO send out a little invite. Whip one up in Photoshop or some free online program, or send an Evite. Facebook invites are fine too, but it's always nice to receive an actual invitation. If you're me, you will be forced to save it as a JPEG and insert it in an email because it's too late for snail mail.

DO try to find actual photos of the humans having the party for the invitation, and DON'T use photos of representative animals (that's my cousin's dog), otherwise you will get asked things like "Is your cousin a dog?"
DO repurpose household items as food and drink display vessels. For example, use thoroughly washed vases as carafes for mixers, or as an ice bucket for a bottle of white wine.
DO set out a variety of glasses, because it makes you look fancy. Vintage glassware is abundant at thrift stores, and as most everything I purchase, is around 99 cents an item.


DON'T spend hundreds of dollars on smoked meats and single malt scotch. Purchase snacks like cheese and crackers, nuts, and vegetables with dip. Pair it with a bottle or two or wine and a liquor option and you're likely to be fine, especially if you kindly suggest that guests bring something to eat or drink. You should be able to get the basics for under $100, or $50 if you use coupons and avoid rare cheeses. Also buy cookies. No explanation needed for that, just buy the cookies.
DO use crafts you've made previously, because you spent time making them and they're pretty.

DO provide one signature cocktail and one signature appetizer. Making one of each is not too arduous, and gives the appearance that you thought about the party, which gives the appearance that you are a decent host(ess). In case you're short on ideas - ridiculous i'm even saying that because the we have THE INTERNET - see my signature recipes below, lovingly created with years of food and drink knowledge as well as a refined palate.

Orange Pomegranate Fizz, or That Champagne Punch
An uncomplicated libation, this drink is comprised of a muddled orange slice, one part Campari, two parts pomegranate juice, and two parts champagne. I recommend using a dry champagne like Freixenet cava or brut, because at $11 a bottle, it's relatively inexpensive and tasty. You can make the drink individually, or make a pitcher of it with the same proportions, but squeeze or muddle extra orange slices.

Shrimp Toast Thingy
For lack of any name at all, I hurriedly chalk labeled this one "shrimp toast thingy," which isn't even slightly comical, so serve it nameless if you must. To make, cut up slices of french baguette, spread a thin layer or mayonnaise on each, top with a cucumber slice, followed by a medium to large shrimp, a dollop of cocktail sauce and some fresh parsley.

Sliced Baguette with Brie, Honey and Cracked Pepper
My good friend worked at a French restaurant that made a warm version of this and called it brie crostini, and it was delicious. This one isn't crostini'd or made by chef hands, but it's still creamy and flavorful. It's too easy to be a signature appetizer, but you can probably manage to do it in addition to the shrimp toast thingy, giving you a triad of customized, party appropriate fare.
Lastly, DON'T forget to take pictures. I forgot to do so, so the only photo I have is one my friend took of my other friend sitting on a bench.

Party On,

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Winter Recipes: Additional, Improvisational Ways to Cook Trendy Vegetables

It's time to step out of the craft zone and enter the realm of improvisational cooking. It's something I do frequently, and hopefully something that may be of use to you while you are either snowed in your apartment or are pretending to be snowed in because you'd prefer not to enter the outside world.
As you either indulge or wallow in your winter seclusion, you may as well examine these "recipes," as you will learn yet another way to prepare the ever trendy vegetable, Brussel sprouts, as well as a healthier take on mashed potatoes.
Sprouts first.

While scavenging for lunch one day, I found a few things in my pantry, and gleefully discovered my Brussel sprout stalk was not completely picked over. Logically, I decided to throw them all together. Somehow, they meshed, and tasted so decent I began texting photos of my lunch.
The throw-together lunch was fairly simple:
Slice Brussel sprouts and chop red onion (as much as you'd like to serve - I used about a pound of sprouts - the ratio should be 3:1, respectively)
Heat olive oil in a sauté pan, and add a chopped clove of fresh garlic
After heating the oil and garlic for a minute or so, throw in the chopped red onion, and let them sweat for a minute (you can add the onion and Brussel sprouts at the same time if you don't want the onion to be as caramelized)
Add the Brussel sprouts. Sauté in pan until onions are caramelized and sprouts are browned and crispy; Add salt and pepper to taste
Roughly chop some whole raw cashew, and sprinkle on top
Eat ALL of it, which is what I did, or set it on your beautiful table display and politely announce to your guests that the sprouts are ready
Total prep and cooking time: 20 minutes

Next is another take on a popular dish: cauliflower mashed fauxtatoes (name taken from my friend Arianna). Strange I'm even making these, as my like for cooking is partly attributed to Anthony Bourdain, and I'm fairly sure he'd make a mockery of such a recipe, and also dub me a food outcast for being a confused vegetarian. Whatever.

For the cauliflower mash, I recommend using a food processor to blend the list of ingredients to follow. I used a traditional masher, as you can see in the photo, and while the flavor of the fauxtatoes was good, the texture wasn't as smooth as the conventional mashed potato connoisseur would like.
For the recipe:
Chop up medium head of cauliflower into large chunks and boil for 6-8 minutes, until they become tender; Test with a fork if necessary
Strain the cauliflower and let cool for a minute or two
Combine the cauliflower with a 1/4 cup of softened or whipped chive cream cheese (you could use regular cream cheese and add fresh chives, but I feel the shortcut is similarly effective), a tablespoon of minced or mashed (preferable) garlic, 2 tablespoons of unsalted butter, a half teaspoon of salt and a sprinkling of ground pepper
Either throw the ingredients in a food processor, or do what I did and mash nearly violently until the ingredients are combined smoothly
Throw the smooth mashed fauxtatoes in a serving bowl and garnish with paprika; Announce the ready status if you feel so inclined
Total prep and cooking time: 20-25 minutes depending on mashing method and tools available

These are palatable sides for any holiday meal, or are perfect in accompaniment of any type of protein, epitomizing a hearty triangular meal. If you'd prefer a different shape, throw something else in there.

Eat Up & Yours Truly,

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An Alternative Christmas: Another (Interesting) Take on Alternative Christmas Tree Concepts

Here we go! Another blog's take on other options for Christmas trees! Harbor the enthusiasm, and unleash it!
Hello Everyone! It's that time! Time for holiday everything! And if you're me, gratuitous use of exclamation points! I hereby declare this week, and possibly the next, The Salvage Scheme's Holiday Week(s). So please consult this blog for sometimes funny, sometimes useful holiday suggestions for cocktail hours, Christmas trees, and gifts you thought you couldn't afford.
On a more focused note, a couple weeks ago I received notice that the residents of my building, myself unfortunately not exempt, are not allowed to have real Christmas trees. In a tizzy of holiday frustration, I researched faux trees, learning that the pretty silver and gold one I wanted was $50. And a lot of other faux trees possessed a similar price tag.
While that amount is, in the grander scheme of things, completely affordable, I decided to sacrifice the fake tree in order to save a bit of cash for gifts, etc., meaning I had to use some salvaged or existing material to create an alternative version of a tree.
I thought about painting a tree, as last year, I painted a Christmas tree for my dad.

While he didn't say the words exactly, his comment upon receiving the painting, "Oh, it's a Holiday painting!(?)," told me it wasn't his favorite. So I too rejected the Christmas tree painting idea, searching for something with more "wow."
Short on ideas, and as the natural reaction of nearly all girls everywhere, I consulted Pinterest. I found a couple gems, taken from French By Design:

Behold, normal household items arranged in such a way that they become a legitimately beautiful semblance of a christmas tree!

Hark! Antiqued pages of a book outlined with twine and a picture frame form to project the heart-warming, cheer-infusing image of the finest evergreen!
As mentioned, both of these photos were taken from the sleekly designed, undeniably charming French By Design, a blog that makes me feel inadequate, and appropriately so.
Lastly, I found another idea on Pinterest that combines two of my favorite things: chalkboard walls and string lights:

The light set is available at IKEA, but I imagine a similar effect could be achieved with any type of string lights.
While all of these ideas are lovely and in many ways superior to mine, I literally stumbled upon a concept I wanted to execute. I stepped onto a spray paint splashed sheet of cardboard I had used to create the stencils I posted about, which got me to pondering.

I thought that maybe if I cut the cardboard into geometric shapes, I could spray paint them different colors and arrange them into a Christmas tree mosaic. And so the cutting began.

I cut until I ended up with a pile of shapes, most of which resembled triangles, and I placed them on a tarp so I could spray paint them. I separated them into piles, layed them flat, and painted the different groups with Tiffany blue, gold, red, and navy blue.

After letting them dry for 30 minutes, it became a puzzling matter. Seriously, it became very similar to a puzzle, as I randomly pieced the shapes together, learning which ones fit to make the most tree-like shape through a trial and error process. The result, however, was quite nice:

Even if you went out and bought four new cans of spray paint and a new sheet of cardboard, the project still costs under $20. Add it to your list of weird tree ideas.
Happy cutting and Merry Christmas,

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DIY Party Prop: Chalkboard Serving Trays For Christmas and Other Times

Tray Songz, forgot about Tray, Doctor Tray…Thought of far too many unrelated hip hop references that have no place being in the post title, much like these references do in this post. Nonetheless, the trays are fun, expertly crafted, and appropriate for social gatherings, like the songs [some could argue].
I found some three dollar a piece trays at a local resale shop, and immediately envisioned them in Tiffany blue, so I purchased them and brought them home for a fix-up.

I got lucky with the resale shop find, but I maintain that thrift stores are a good place to start. You can also find similar wood trays for about $10 each at a place like Target.
As I mentioned before, I chose Tiffany blue as the main tray color, but also wanted to paint the base with my leftover chalkboard paint so I could be adorable/disgusting and label things or write messages when I passed around drinks or appetizers. Consequently, I did a lot of taping, but the process in total (excluding dry breaks) still only took about 45 minutes for both. See below for photo instructions:





As you have probably inferred from the photo evidence, the painting steps involve drying in between (and again, please adhere to what the paint labels say, if you are impatient like myself you will get drips and chips and such).
After it's all painted, it should look like this:

While these are lovely as is, I decided to add one final addition. Since I'm never letting go of my love for metallic accents, I took the Sharpies I used in the previous projects and colored the top border of the tray for a shiny pop.

Then, I put stuff in them for the purpose of display, but fully intend to use them whenever I have an impromptu cocktail party, which I will post about shortly so you can throw a similarly last-minute holiday fiesta.
For now, use the tray to bring your significant other breakfast in bed, or better still, bring yourself breakfast in bed, lunch in bed, any meal or snack in bed.


Enjoy,
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In a Holidaze: Five-minute Holiday Decor That Could Be Done While in a Trance

If there ever was a lazy post from a [sometimes] lazy blogger, this would be it.
When my holiday-cheer-infusing energy burst hit this year, I found myself short on cash yet again, so I was left with nothing other than to scavenge through last year's decoration box, and to make scarce purchases with prices comparable to that of the dollar store.
This is what I came up with:

I filled very inexpensive thrifted vases and glassware with ornaments, which I purchased at Walgreens for around five dollars a pack (included 20 ornaments). I will abandon any type of humble nature at this point and say that I think it looks pretty good. And it took under a minute to arrange. Here is an additional example of my filling inexpensive glassware with inexpensive ornaments:

I realize I'm stretching these little Walgreen's ornaments to the height of their versatility (using the word "versatile" to describe the ornaments is also a stretch), but I also hung them from the shade pull rings in my windows, as well as the window locks to create the illusion of ornaments suspended in a window:

And door knobs:

Additionally, tree lights around archways, doorways, or windows always contributes to a romantically festive ambiance. I realize this may be reminiscent of college dorm room decor, but use them sparingly and hang them in the right places, and they can be semi-elegant.

And never underestimate the power of the pinecone. They are cheap, can be sprinkled with glitter if you are so inclined, and look pretty alternated with tea lights on a windowsill:

My last holiday decorating tip: Adorn your home with dogs. I was in the company of four dogs during my Thanksgiving meal (one of which is absent in the picture below), and it was great. If you don't have a dog, like myself, just hang out with people who do.

Lily, Machiavelli, Coco, and Chloe (not pictured): the stars of Thanksgiving, and supporters of my lazy man's holiday decorations.
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