samueljkim

[samueljkim]

Let’s be honest.

Nobody has been truly listening.

[samueljkim]

Anywhere But Here

The song is available for streaming everywhere on 2.8.2025. Link here to my music.

When making this song, I thought about the Village People's anthem, "Go West" that waxed poetic about a place where one could find their individuality and identity. It was a sweet and naive idealization of triumph, conquest and self-agency. The promise of a new ideology appeared to be the form of communism but it also served as a rally cry for the gay community to find that "undiscovered country" where they could be themselves without oppression. This song asks questions about looking for something else beyond the overwhelming and unbearable present situation (whatever that may be). Sometimes the real solution is to run away, but it's not clear if anything will change, and it's hard to ensure the desired outcome -- especially when all you want to do is survive.

Where do we go next?

The song started from a lovely guitar loop by my friend Albert Chiang. I invited him to Seattle from LA during the winter a couple of years ago. We set up this large space to have all my instruments out and available. As we started to improvise, this loop came out, and we played over this track for over 30 minutes it seemed. We were fixed in this meditative state as we played together and it was so precious especially since we were both looking for relief and recovery from the long season of the COVID pandemic. I always wanted to do something with that loop, so that recording of our session sat on my hard drive for a long time, until I found the right time for inspiration. Whatever I did with it, I wanted to ensure it captured that haunting feeling of escape that came through our live time together. Hopefully you can sense some feeling of that through this recording. 

[samueljkim]

Visitation EP

The "Visitation" EP by my electronic music side project Mount Vermont is available now. It was hard to make any substantial music worth releasing for the past several months which I know is normal for many but unsettling for me. My mind was concerned with other things and the creative energy was low. I nevertheless felt I was very overdue to release something as Mount Vermont so I just stepped back and gave myself permission to get back to a spirit of discovery and play.

I thought about early John Tejada and other early IDM artists I loved. The Warp Records 10+2 Classics Compilation with all of its artists was a game changer in my listening back in the day. This EP was me looking back at the past but also learning to make sounds in a new way with the new opportunities afforded by both my current software and hardware.

I'd be remiss to acknowledge that there is a darkness behind all the grooves. I thought a lot about how I have this strange out of body experience observing the absurdity of the times we're living in. Why is it that we have to defend the preservation of life through a ceasefire? Why is that that we are attacked when we're trying to understand what helps keep people alive? I got into this dark spiral and sometimes I had to just retreat to rhythms to bring me back to life. For some it may sound odd but I had to dance my way out of it. I'm not a gifted dancer or mover by any means but by creating beats and patterns that had movement to them it felt like a necessary and primal act to do.

"If you come as a visitor, learn how to listen before you say anything at all."

Whatever the season, I'm just trying to keep my music as a constant exploration and letting the sound go where it wants.

Link in bio.

[samueljkim]

Edges

"I refuse to accept despair as the final response to the ambiguities of history.” - Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

It's been difficult to write about this latest album. I think because it came more from an emotional place rather than a concept. It wasn't easily captured and circumscribed in words. In fact, I think I needed some time away from this album to fully understand it. Perhaps it was only until this week after Martin Luther King Sunday that perhaps something became clear.

I still remember one of the key songs that started this album, "Hunter" was recorded at the end of 2021. Seattle was stopped in snow and freezing cold, there was a death in the family, and we were all unsure everyday if we were still in the pandemic or not. I recorded this seeing the unrest and anger in my soul towards the state of the world and the state of my inner soul. I was not at my best and I had no compassion for myself and the world around me. There was a moment at that time of making this song I felt so profoundly alone. I don't fully understand all the lyrics of "Hunter" myself but in that moment, it captured the state of my heart and expressed it better than anything else could.

Much of this album is lashing out in frustration at the hypocrisies and inconsistencies of politics, religion and the heart. I kept encountering zealots in all three worlds and found many had no regards for those on the edges and for how we were all tearing each other apart. Even worse, I saw that same lack of integrity in who I was. I had no idea what to do. When we went through a worldwide crisis, we didn't come out better. When people are being dehumanized we don't do the right thing. When we can't even collectively acknowledge that it is better to cease fire rather than killing innocents in schools and nations, we keep pressing on with our self-righteousness. Most galling of all were the religious zealots of our time pushing out their narratives of justification in the name of their higher power. Despite my vitriol against dead institutions of religion, I felt a twisted kinship with the archaic prophets who wanted everything to burn: but why? What's the point when you can't trust what will be pulled from the ashes? I felt like I was trapped in a downward spiral of judgment and loathing. Is all that's left to do is to let it go and disappear? The allure of pessimism was all too appealing.

These was a paradoxical spirit of anger and disengagement that coursed through the songs of "Edges". I certainly felt like I was on the edge of something and I didn't know what would happen if I fell off or jumped.

The words of Soren Kierkegaard felt right for this album:

"To live is to feel oneself lost..."

"These are the only genuine ideas: the ideas of the shipwrecked... all the rest is rhetoric, posturing, farce."

As I was writing "Move Away" I knew that these words were completely in line with what was churning inside even though I didn't even fully comprehend it at the time. Maybe this struggle to confront ourselves is the most important and vital thing we can do, yet who wants to take on this difficult and murderous journey?

I think if I could identify the sonic spirit from which the album was birthed, it would be from anger. I realized I mastered the mix pretty loud but I felt it was necessary because it needed to be heard with volume over fidelity and subtlety. The post-punk disillusionment of bands I loved like Joy Division were the soundtrack of this season and are obviously present in spirit throughout this album. I wanted icy and angular melodic lines fused with cold drum machines beating into an empty cavern of reverb. I wanted the vocals to be distorted, warbled and harsh. The tempos needed to be frenetic or lethargic. I knew the album would be exhausting to listen to in some ways but it felt like anything else would be dishonest.

It was only a month after the release of the album on Martin Luther King Jr. Day when I was listening to King's Nobel Prize acceptance speech that I was given a momentary gift of clarity: when I heard these particular words I felt like my soul was grabbed still: "I refuse to accept despair as the final response to the ambiguities of history.”

Yes, that was it. That was the source of the anger: all of the ambiguity! The lack of conviction. The absence of truth. The forsaking of vision. The void of compassion. The uncertainty of our collective future. The lack of right-ness. I was railing against all the ambiguity I was steeped in. I was cornering my soul to decide on its final response to the universal ambiguity so palpable to me.

And who knew it as well as the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King?

Dr. King saw things and stood against things we will never see as closely as him, but he still was able to say to the nations "I refuse to accept despair."

This line haunted me throughout the night. I felt rebuked gently and devastatingly at the same time.

He showed me a path forward.

It's up to me to see if I will step off the edge and join him.

Edges.

[samueljkim]

Disappear

New day. New single.

I think the luxury of Tumblr is that I don't think many people really read stuff on this site anymore so it feels like a safe place to talk freely. The open and empty field to shout in to. The truth in plain sight well hidden.

This song is taken from the forthcoming album, "Edges" (releasing in December) which will once again hearken back to some of my new wave, post-punk loves. Perhaps the closest cousins to this album would be the Lost/Found EP or the Anastasis album. This is part of an upcoming album that feels nostalgically dark but with synth flourishes that give it a modern edge. I think back to that year of living in Liverpool next to Manchester. The cold and wet weather with all the faceless concrete buildings in rows.

The past "Kindness" album was a bit of a breather before I got back into the darker stuff. One of the songs on the upcoming album, "Hunter" came from a very difficult stretch of days. It was one of those rare moments where I felt like the song really tapped into what I was feeling in that immediate moment. I imagine if anyone discovered my music through the recent albums they might be a little confused by my constant dancing between genres. I'm not in this for marketing predictability. Sorry.

For "Disappear", I was trying to tap into the disillusionment and callousness of the current age. When it all gets overwhelming, the temptation to let go and fade away is real. We are living in the era of the great resignation. We are eager to deconstruct but less sure of what we want to construct in its place.

Where do we go from here?

The new song is available on streaming everywhere.

Check it out here: https://linktr.ee/samueljosephkim

[samueljkim]

Kindness

Artwork by Perry Jue.

Why did you call it “Kindness”?

The album was originally a three song EP that I released at the height of the pandemic. Everything all around the world and in my life was so heavy and languishing so I wanted to create a sonic reminder that we're going to have to be kind to get through this. A couple of years later, we've moved from a pandemic to an endemic of sorts but we're still dealing with the fallout and the things that were kicked up during that crisis. As I thought about my own ongoing struggles and the struggles I see all around me I think there's a pressure to be, "I'm fine now. Let's all act like everything is ok!" but it's not true. We can go to unhealthy extremes of trying to prove we're moving on when we still need time to process, mourn, and be confused. That journey requires a kind patience with ourself and the world around us. In the past year, I've been randomly releasing singles with no particular direction but as I put them together in a personal playlist, it began to feel like it was telling me something. I thought of the earlier Kindness EP and the newer songs I was working on and it felt like that together the songs gave a more full picture of what I wanted that original "Kindness" EP to be about.

Sounds a bit pop?

Yes, I grew up in a place where everyone listened to rock and I just latched on to synth pop. I loved it so much and I was ridiculed for it at times because I was so unlike the people around me. I felt awkward and embarrassed. I'm annoyed that I allowed myself to feel that way. I catch myself at times wanting to prove I'm a "true artist" by listening to experimental and "challenging" music. I actually sincerely love that as well, but I love sound and music so much I try not to limit my explorations to any genre barriers. I don't have to fit in to any particular box. In this new world of unlimited streaming we have so much access to so many different worlds of sound and I think artists should lean in to that. An older generation perspective of artistic vision pressures you to "Choose your one voice! Choose your one sound!" While it could make sense for some marketing purposes it really stunts our development as creatives. One wise person I met many years ago said, "You have to be suspicious of anyone who has no 'cheese' in their life." Indeed. Let’s stop wasting our time by limiting ourselves to arbitrary genres of taste.

Let's be awkward! Let's be free! Let's do what we want! Don’t honor the tastemakers because they don’t honor us!

The next couple of projects are probably going to be much darker and bringing the experimental guitar work back.

Or maybe I won’t!

Maybe I’ll go deeper into the synths and the sound generators.

Probably some form of both. Let’s just see where it goes.

I don’t want to sit still while I can still run.

But who are you really?

I don't think you were listening.

What inspired you in making these songs?

Well, it's funny. When I was young, jazz music really captured my imagination but also interestingly... electronic dance music. It was something about the sounds, the rhythms, the repetitions that felt just as meaningful and engaging as the intricacies of jazz. I love music that is surprising and challenging but I also love the discipline and craft of a good pop song. Some may look down on its supposed banality, but you try it: not so easy. I remember growing up and listening to the Pet Shop Boys and New Order and being so impressed with how they crafted their songs. The synth pop of the 80s was so flamboyant and unrestrained. I would get annoyed by its naiveté at times, but I appreciate its desire to not over think things and just be free. I think that's very compelling. Also, I loved the melodic and playful sensibility of the electronic Indie pop songs of The Notwist and artists from Morr Records in the early 2000s like Lali Puna, Styrofoam, Ms. John Soda, etc. Their blending of guitars and electronics is something I try to emulate to this day.

What are you trying to say in this album?

I wanted people to think about being bravely kind. As a jaded Gen X, I can get skeptical and harsh towards the world and myself. I get trapped in circles believing that the darkness is so present and we are so steeped in our selfishness. We have a lot of evidence for this negativity, but we also need those moments to pause and remember we're all on a long journey of learning. Sometimes I learn fast and sometimes I learn slow. Often, I need multiple lessons to change and I can't change exactly how I'd like. I would like to be good in every way but realistically I’m falling short of standards everywhere. All of that is true for others too. I don't want to say that accountability is not required because you need that to change and transform, but that process is hard, painful and sometimes lonely. It doesn't help to condemn yourself when you're already trying so hard to figure things out and be better.

Allow yourself to graciously heed the simple aphorisms:

Be kind.

Forgive yourself.

Stop hating yourself.

Be awkward. It's ok.

Believe in hope.

Find a moment to dance even when it is awful.

Trust something beautiful could happen in all of the messiness.

Just try something.

Get up.

Let yourself get better.

You don't have to stay hurt.

Believe that the light can come in.

Sometimes just waiting is ok. Don't hate yourself for not having the strength to do more than that.

Get some rest.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[samueljkim]

Penumbra

The short album seems to be the platform of choice as of late. This collection of songs is admittedly not familiar territory for me. In some ways it feels really different, but in other ways it sounds like me more than ever. I think that's the balance I'm trying to work at: diverging far out and exploring new worlds, but also converging deeper into an identity as an artist.

This project all started with a song that was birthed by reading an Instagram post by a friend about trying to find a place where we can accept both the shadow and light sides of ourselves. The idea of knowing both your light and your shadow was so compelling I felt I needed to make a song out of it right away. The opening song was made almost in a day (but of course, a whole lot of editing came later). It sparked a lot of ideas of trying to listen to the world around us. Rather than choosing a side, where we can we sit where we experience some of the light and some of the shadow: the penumbra. I think the world I'm living in right now has a lot of extremes up against each other. Tension, dissatisfaction, confusion, and maybe catharsis even. It's all there living together.

I had been sitting on these songs for over a year. I thought I was going to get it out much sooner but I just kept holding on to them. It got to the point that I felt that I needed to release it soon or it would no longer be relevant to who I was. I actually have perhaps two more EPs in the pipeline and I couldn't work on the other ones until these had gone out into the world. I realize not many people would listen to this and some may overlook this EP because it doesn't quite fit with previous releases, but I knew that it still had something to say. I wanted the vocals to be choppy and robotic but fused with something somewhat soulful. I wanted it to be heartfelt but also cold and distant. I wanted it to feel like heavy machinery with a beat but also beating to an internal heart-like rhythm.

I learned some new things about production and mixing. I wanted to keep developing this new workflow where I get things out sooner and move on to new projects rather than obsessing over them for long periods and then lose that initial spark of energy. If it means that it's a bit rough around the edges and less polished, so be it. I've given up trying to serve perfectionist leanings because I don't think it's worth it in the end. I found new tricks and maybe learned some bad habits. I'm learning and evolving as I go.

"Your Light Your Shadow"

This song had this weird slow tempo funk to it. When that bassline comes in at the end, I knew I found something I liked. It's unusual but that weird sci-fi swagger was what I was looking for.

"Before or After"

A song about wrestling with the reality that we and the world around us seem to be in this repeating spiral. We want to be what we were before or dream of something after... it's hard to accept the present reality, but maybe once we do, we can actually learn to change right now. I loved Herbert's album, "Bodily Functions" and I wanted to capture some of that house flavor with some of my unique flavors on it.

"The Centre"

Note the Canadian spelling just to piss off this country I live in. The song didn't intend to sound like Phil Collins but here we are. I wanted it to be more like Drake and James Blake, but oh no, I get Phil. A lot of this song is about my observations of where are our fragmentations are taking us. I see splintering at every level of society and not sure where we go from here. The song offers no answers, just observations.

"Without You" (with Enereph)

I was working on a collaboration with Enerph, a great local artist in Seattle, and she showed a rough sketch she did for a song with a vocal and some noodling with an Arturia Polybrute. I recall her saying, "It would be cool if someone could rap on this".... and so I tried! haha. Honestly, I can't believe I did it. I just tried to record it as fast as possible before I became self-conscious. I had been listening to a lot of early Drum n' Bass with all of the lovely Amen breaks and wanted to bring that in to this as well. I couldn't have made this without Enereph. After finishing that song with her, I realized it really fit into the character of this EP and she graciously let me release it with the other songs. Check out her work. It's amazing.

"Crooked Lines"

I felt like I wanted something pulsing and more upbeat to balance the other downtempo songs. I wanted it to be a bit funky, a bit disco even. I wanted to capture some feeling of protest and dissatisfaction -- pushback for the ways that we keep making these unnecessary crooked lines of demarcation. I wanted soul but steeled by a song that had technology at the forefront. The robots of the machine are waking up and they want to stop taking the shit from idiots. Something like that.

"Dramatis Personae"

I'm guessing very few have read this far. This song was inspired by a fellow musician who was very naked about the pain they went through. It was sometimes painful to watch, or sometimes I would have to resist it like resisting watching a car crash on the side of the road. So much honesty, but in some ways, so much pretension and attention seeking. Isn't that all artists? People of drama. "Actors acting". We need those plays as part of humanity but in some ways, are they just mechanisms justifying our profound selfishness? I can't say. I can't fully explain why I wanted it to end with these expansive and cascading sounds at the end, but it just felt like the best way to end this EP. A washy glacier of sound taking us out into the darkness of unknown.

Streaming everywhere online.

Some more albums are on the way. I think there's one more electronic thing coming that's going to be pretty pop and finishes off the Kindness EP that almost nobody heard. I'm also thinking of making some kind of post-wave indie pop something or other with a lot of angular guitars. And then, I'll get around to this EP finally that was pretty dark and despairing... because those are always fun in their own way. On the other side of things, I want to keep developing my ability to do electronic music on hardware and software. So much sound and so little time. Thanks for your love if you ever sent it. If you didn't, I don't blame you.

[samueljkim]

Notable albums of 2022

This is overdue but I thought I'd share my noteworthy albums of 2022. I thought I didn't listen to much this past year and felt like there wasn't a lot that I liked... but after reviewing the releases I saved to my library, I was pleasantly surprised. It actually had some great music. Maybe that's an appropriate symbol of how I felt about this past year: better in retrospect. Here's the list:

(in some particular order)

Yeah Yeah Yeah's, "Cool It Down" Sharon Van Etten, "We've Been Going About This All Wrong" Florence + The Machine, "Dance Fever" Nosaj Thing, "Continua" Knifeplay, "Animal Drowning"

Foals, "Life Is Yours" The Smile, "A Light For Attracting Attention" Kendrick Lamar, "Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers" Santigold, "Spirituals" Beyonce, "Renaissance"

Aurora, "The Gods We Can Touch" The Linda Lindas, "Growing Up" Royksopp, "Profound Mysteries" Bonobo, "Fragments" Daniel Rossen, "You Belong There"

Stars, "Capleton Hill" Trentemoller, "Memoria" Warpaint, "Radiate Like This" Beach House, "Once Twice Melody" Jenny Hval, "Classic Objects"

Sylvan Esso, "No Rules Sandy" Wilco, "Cruel Couhtry" Adam Jay, "The Inevitible Demise"

And here's a Spotify playlist if you're in to those sort of things...

[samueljkim]

When you say goodbye to an angel

It's hard to put into words just how much the band "Low" has meant to me. I still remember my first experience watching them in a small venue in Vancouver. I was completely taken to another place and haunted by their music long after the show was over. They remain as one of the bands that have consistently moved me from album to album.

One thing that I would quickly identify as part of the mysterious power of Low was how Mimi Parker's voice so seamlessly melded with Alan Sparhawk's. They sang with one voice and one heart: whenever you listened, you were welcomed into that blessed unity.

To know that the world has said goodbye to Mimi Parker after a prolonged struggle with cancer means we are now missing the true voice of an angel. There was something so disarming and transcendent about her harmonies: it really felt like some kind of divine encounter. Her songs "The Plan" and "Holy Ghost" remain some of my favorite Low songs and some of my all-time favorite songs period.

Many years ago, I recorded a short project EP with Rhea Yo where we did a Low cover of "Sunflower". As you hear it, I hope you can capture just a glimpse of the beauty that I felt when I first heard that song.

Rest well Mimi Parker. We have all been so much better that you walked among us.

[samueljkim]

Roads Ahead

I seem to have this pattern of behavior where I think, "Ah, I'm in such a creative rut and I'm not making any music..." and then my friends roll their eyes and then look at this ridiculous trail of music behind me. I apologize for not posting recently. A lot of life changing things happened this year and I put a lot of my attention to it, but somehow, since the "Hunter" single I still managed to release an instrumental EP, two singles and a Mount Vermont EP. I also think I may have now discovered I have two EPs not too far from finished production. Folks, that's a lot of music since March!

One upcoming EP is going to collect some odd, quirky and haunted future soul stuff that I have been toying with. The other is darker and explores more of my love of post-punk with the electronic synth wave flourishes I often do. With the tools that producers now have available it's a really exciting time to be creating music. I've given myself permission to just go with what feels right and see what fits. It can be a bit dizzying if you are going to try and box me in to a particular style, but I think that IS my style: making music I love. Another project that is not too far away is another possible EP/LP of electronic indie pop similar to the vein of the Kindness EP.

This past year, I made some major changes vocationally and at first, it felt daunting but now it's exciting as I see that I am continuing discover more about myself and my abilities. I hope you can also give yourself the permission to trust in the Golden Thread you see in your life and continue that work of weaving that has always been going on.

[samueljkim]

Hunter

I’ve got a new song. It has razor edges. It has questions. It screams. I knew that on the first day I recorded it, it had a sound I was trying to find for awhile.

Go find it here

[samueljkim]

Anastasis

The word "Anastasis" means resurrection. Interestingly, the word is also tied to a theological strand that explores Christ's journey of harrowing death in Hades in those three days before the resurrection. As I made these individual songs, I think I was addressing a lot of my longing for something new to happen especially in this arduous covid year, but also identifying how painful this year has been politically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, etc. I think the most painful thing I've endured is the relentless division and conflict I see all around me on so many levels. Yet, having gone through all of this, I still want to believe that something "New"can happen. It can just be this amazing surprise of Grace and wonder. I think in order to get there, you might have to "harrow hell" in a way.

These songs are also inspired by the artwork of Serrah Russell. Her artwork is featured on all the individual singles. There was a sonic edge to all of these that I can’t quite explain. I wanted to capture the elegance of her work, but it turned into a bit of a strange mix of electronic/indie/pop-rock which doesn’t sound so elegant does it? I didn’t want this album to necessarily answer things but somehow sit in uncomfortable places for a little, to let those stirrings and musings finish its work. I did end the album abruptly with “Everything New” because I do believe even as we go through these times, there is always the hope of just turning the corner and being completely surprised of something new forming in your life. It’s part of what gets me through the things I face even now.

Sonically, I’m constantly reminded at how music technology continues to evolve and give us opportunity to make music like we never could before. Opportunities for sound generation thanks to the latest advancements in software and hardware are incredible. I’m just scratching the surface but I’ve already found things I never could have dreamed of even several years ago. 

Whether people read this, or people hear my music, I still have things to do, songs to sing, and adventures to take. As you do those things in your own way, I hope you may find a resurrection of your own.

You can listen to this album here:

Peace.

[samueljkim]

Genealogy EP

This EP was inspired by the visual artwork of May Kytonen. A lot of what May does through her work is contemplate the themes of connection, family, legacy, culture and time. There is something so otherworldly but also something so grounded about it. I wanted to also meditate on the things that ground me in crisis but also the the things that I turn to when I fall apart. While most of the lyrics were written free-association, it was interesting to see where the weight of the words went. “Horizon” feels like this space-age voyage exploring the outermost and innermost parts of being. While “Fall on Me” was created to show that sublime moment when we experience pain that transcends all words. That song actually went on to be used in a memorial service after I recorded it and is also featured in a beautiful Indie film that I helped score, “Sylvie of the Sunshine State”. 

There is a lightness and a heaviness all at once in the work that May Kytonen does. It was easy to make music in step her artwork because her visuals seem to have this rhythm and space to it naturally. Sonically, I didn’t want to worry about over-mixing minutae. I wanted it to be free and easy, even if it felt rough around the edges. Since we both share that Asian North American heritage, I thought it’d be fun to explore samples from some Asian instruments and dialogue.

In some way, I hope this EP helps you connect with your story, love it, and inspire you to learn the story of others.

Peace.

Listen to the album here.

[samueljkim]

Music Updates!

The new single “Antecedent” is out. This artwork is by May Kytonen (maykytonen.com) More than the music, I am so pleased to share with everyone the album artwork by May and with the previous artworks by Serrah Russell (serrahrussell.com).

I started this year extremely doubtful that I would be able to have the strength to make anything… but look at this. I’ve been releasing a single almost monthly! (No doubt it was through the help of the inspiring visual art of my friends!). AND…. 

I am going to finish off this audio/visual series by collecting the previous singles and MORE new songs in an LP and an EP by the end of this year. They’re called “Geneaology” (w/ Kytonen’s work) and “Anastasis” (w/ Russell’s work).

It’s truly a miracle that I was able to have all this music come out of me in a year such as this. Somehow in the middle of all that I also got to help create music for a soundtrack and a cool yoga movement collaboration. 

The well in all of us is deep. 

[samueljkim]

Horizon

My next single, "Horizon" is part of my series of audio/visual collaborations. The artist that created the artwork for this song is Seattle-based artist, May Kytonen (www.maykytonen.com). The single can be found here. This song is a meditation on identity and story. All of us are part of a greater story and we spend our whole life trying to know where we fit in that narrative. I hope this song can kindly encourage you on your way.

[samueljkim]

Contemplative

Starting today, I’m going to be releasing another series of recordings that are live recordings that are contemplative and meditative in nature. A large part of what I do in music is often just spending time getting lost in improvisation alone. Improvisation has always been a special way that I come out of myself and find a transcendent space. I think people have always wanted me to record more of this kind of stuff so I thought it might be a good way to share this with others in parallel with my other self-produced works. These will often be prepared in some way but they will be done in one take blemishes and all. I hope they can give you some peace and calm in these trying times. 

The audio version can be found here:

https://t.co/8ZVcoKtWEa

If you’re interested in seeing the video version you can find it here:

https://youtu.be/DDqwCkxWwHI

[samueljkim]

A fire in my bones

For the past couple of years especially, I have felt this relentless force pushing me to create music. It feels like it’s at a pace I can’t maintain and it drives me so much I fear I'm going to burn out… but it feels even worse not to act on it. I have always had a creative drive but lately it is much more aggressive.

Not saying that the music is good, but I feel like I can’t move on unless it’s released out into the world. I think I need to figure out a way to be ok with releasing a lot of stuff even though I haven’t poured over it.

In making so much music, I realize people might be more jaded and less interested though… but maybe that shouldn’t matter? Sufjan Stevens is releasing a 49 track ambient instrumental soon after Ascension along with a bunch of side projects. Why shouldn’t I?

It does scare me though... can this be sustained? It’s hard to explain but every time I release something out into the world, it’s a release of creative energy. Like a life force and I wonder if I ever get it back. Whenever some music or art from me is released I feel like I never go back to that place/energy so I feel like it’s a limited supply. Like a candle ready to burn out if it’s not kept in check. I keep drawing from a well but it feels like the well is not replenishing. I am really tired and stressed lately but I still feel like this creative energy keeps pushing me around demanding me to create something.

Sometimes I wonder when I used to pour over one song over a year if it didn’t feel more substantial? I don’t know what that means though. I don’t write songs like a singer-songwriter anymore. I do sometimes and sometimes I don’t. I want to do everything. I listen to so much music, so I feel like there’s this universe of sound in my being I want to get out into the world.

The artist obsession is romanticized in a lot of ways, but in other ways, it is intimidating how it can take over your life. I spend a lot of my quiet moments and lying in my bed... just thinking about sound, making sound, creating art experiences...and more... and they won’t leave me alone unless I do something about it.

And if you have this thing that is taking over most of your waking moments, and people don’t really seem to care... it just feels maddening.

Do you struggle with this too?