sarangbe - Tumblr blog

[sarangbe]

sarang is learning that, while he often discounts his expertise in image and branding by claiming they're unimportant, they're actually totally valid and worthwhile skills to have in this industry; maybe even more than possessing traditional talent. while he realizes that being an incredible singer, dancer, or rapper is also necessary to stand strong in this career path, being proficient in the world of marketing will give a public figure a specific leg-up; one where they're able to control their own narrative; able to control how their onlookers perceive them; able to sell themselves exactly how they want to.

it's something he's always believed, but started to falter on when he began investing much more time in honing his musical skills, which he's genuinely not confident in at all. what has him remembering his angle with his own idol journey is returning to his roots, so to speak; coming back to next gen and offering any wisdom he can to those who are now walking the same shoes he did roughly one year ago.

that, and well, inho's questions are specifically about maintaining and being mindful of image. sarang would never say this on camera, but what a lot of people seem to forget is that k-pop is heavily manufactured. nothing is "real" in a sense. everything that is released for a fan's consumption has been carefully planned, raked through with a fine-tooth comb, the release of it is specifically timed, and was constructed for their appeal. authenticity rarely enters the picture.

"what they're saying is true, but it's definitely a balancing act—at least in my opinion." every word he says is thought out before he speaks, as he doesn't want to step out of line or have this moment between them edited in a way to paint him in malicious hues. "we don't want to get too caught up in thinking about what we can and can't do. we're human, after all, and we all make mistakes sometimes. i think the most important thing to keep in mind is that there's eyes on us at all times."

he pauses again, calculating the right way to put this. "we all want to present ourselves in the best light possible because of that, and we don't want to let those who adore us down either. so long as your intentions are good, no one can really fault you." it's then when he decides to ask inho a question. "what type of idol or artist do you want to present yourself as? who is ryu inho? what do you want your supporters to know about you, what do you want them to see?"

hard work wasn't a foreign concept to inho. he'd been working his ass off since high school to make sure they had a place to live, and his little sister was cared for while also trying to do well in school and anything else he had to do. it was exhausting. next gen was a different type of hard work. one that didn't always have an immediate gratification or pay off. they still had a few weeks before they found out the winner, and technically, you could be eliminated at anytime.

if he was going to put all this work into next gen, inho was going to try his hardest to get to the end.

inho nodded in agreement with what their coach had to say about their performance. their team had been off to a great start with their chemistry, which had made the creative process much easier as they tossed ideas around. it made practicing easier too since they could be honest with one another. "i think so too," he smiled.

the previous week, inho really was just greeting those he was close with already. he hadn't fully considered that now they were technically his seniors, or how all his interactions might be under a microscope if he pursued this type of lifestyle. sarang seemed to have it all figured out though.

he listened diligently, nodding along as sarang detailed his answer. it was nice hearing that while parts of it came naturally, everyone had to be aware. the realistic part of his brain tried to reason that he was far from the only person ever to have a similar struggle or get called out on something. it wasn't the end of the world.

"a little bit," he admitted, nodding. "the judges mentioned to keep my image in mind and be careful of how i act." it was vague but enough for sarang to understand why he was asking. he didn't need to detail all the thoughts that had accumulated with that after he began overthinking. "people have mentioned you're really good with that image and branding part of all of this, so i figured you would be a good person to ask."

[sarangbe]

DON'T CALL ME NGS2P3 → 염사랑

yeom sarang has one job and one job only: show up and sparkle.

he's not someone who aims to impress audiences with a powerful voice or agile rap verses, no—not at all. instead, he stands beneath the stage lights, absorbs their sexy warmth, and glitters; bewilders. it's his superpower, his strongest suit in this industry, and that's why, in this performance of "don't call me" with his team, he wants his group-mates to steal the thunder when it comes to their artistries.

luckily for him, he's surrounded by a band of exceptionally talented idol-hopefuls, and he's counting on them to shine equally as bright as he does. after all, if any of them want a chance to stand out, they have no choice but to illuminate themselves to the highest watt possible because, when sarang's around, all eyes are on him.

that's a given.

once they all get on stage and stand in their first formation, sarang shuts his eyes; accessing a realm of peace before the show kicks off. it's in this small shred of time that he surrenders everything to the moment—knowing that whatever happens, happens, and no matter what, he'll be okay. life's much too short to worry about the negative outcomes, at least that's what he's always believed, so he grips firmly onto his signature confidence and melts into the music as soon as it starts; the bass booming through the speakers linking with his soul.

while he would never title himself a dancer publicly, sarang should honestly give himself more credit. over time, he's strengthened this skill into being one of his best. every beat his hit, he has impeccable control of his hips and legs, and he often adds graceful touches to the choreography; even if it's meant to be hard and strong. maybe it's cheesy, but he often says "there's strength in softness," and chooses to apply that approach to his movements; proving that men don't always have to be so overly masculine to be desirable; to be a "visual."

that's his dream role (and truthfully, he feels like he's got it in the bag).

he taps into this delicate bravado during the performance; unveiling a cocky undertone to everything he does for flare, to capture the vibe, and to expose yet another side to himself. he milks every single second of center time he has, pours every drop of charisma into his highlighted seconds, and dims his aura softly when he's in the shadows to regain energy, but his diverse facial expressions never falter. his training is paying off, and this is the first time that he's witnessing his own improvements, and it's genuinely taking his breath away.

maybe this is what ren is talking about. there's a sense of pride he feels knowing that he's gotten better at this "idol" thing, that maybe he's not nearly as hopeless, as helpless, as he once thought he was. it's the same type of high whenever he constructs the perfect pair of pants; the ones that show how slim his waist is, and how shapely his backside is. it's euphoric, and he rides this wave until the very end—landing in his closing pose before slowly unfolding out of it.

never wanting to miss a shot at a viral moment, he focuses on one of the cameras before him and treats it as though it's his lover; flirting with it in cutest way he can. he doesn't know if he'll be the "ending fairy," but just in case he is, he wants to make sure that he's dazzling.

[sarangbe]

sarang resents the fact that he sweats so much, and whenever he and the others take a break from rehearsing their choreography, he's always quick to hide in a corner and freshen himself up. maybe it's obsessive of him to care so much about his appearance, but he's always been this way. he's always expelled way too much effort when it comes to choosing his outfits, styling his hair, and putting on cosmetics, but the thing is, these aren't things he feels like he has to do in order to look good. no, these are things he actively enjoys to do, too.

so, during their brief intermission, he dabs away the droplets of sweat that coat his hairline and brow, does the same on certain areas of his body, and quickly reapplies powder to keep his complexion matte, for now. when he's ready, he stands up and begins rehydrating; a ritual he also takes extremely seriously whenever he's exerting himself physically. though, in the midst of this, one of his group-mate's, inho, approaches him.

he's quick to offer the warmest smile he can muster through his exhaustion, and when a query is asked of him, he takes time to consider it before responding; appreciating that it's a question that's deeper instead of superficial. "hmm, in my opinion, i think we've made good progress!" he begins, then takes another sip of his water bottle; careful not to let any aqua cascade down his chin and neck.

"there's more work to do, of course, but we're in a great place!" then, when another question is tossed his way, he maybe thinks for a little too long before replying, but it's merely because this question requires more thought than the last one. "well, i think it can come naturally, sure, and it often does with people like us, you know? however, i do think we all have to be mindful, and thoughtful, still." he begins, then tries to think of how to word the rest carefully.

"as performers, we're shapeshifters. we have to be able to pull off so many different concepts, we have to embody various outfits and styles... we have to show the best sides of ourselves all of the time, and i do think that takes effort and mindfulness." realizing that his responses aren't very decisive, he shrugs his shoulders. "it's a balancing act, really. is that something you're worried about? image, and branding, and all of that?"

@sarangbe and inho chat about image and vocals

the members of the "don't call me" group that inho had been assigned to were not individuals he knew at all, really. four new people. despite this, he felt they had worked well together through the creative process and figuring their group out. they also practiced well together thus far, which made the process go a bit smoother in his personal opinion.

they were all taking a brief break from the group rehearsals when inho found himself next to sarang, drinking from his water bottle. "how do you think the group doing so far?" inho asked the younger male. sarang might be the youngest of their team but he was already a trainee, and won the competition the year prior. he'd have good advice and insights to share.

"may i ask you a question?" inho asked politely, ensuring his grammar was formal. respect your seniors was the message the judges had sent. he was just being himself then, and he already got comments on it. it wasn't the biggest deal in the world but still. inho wondered if idol life would be worth while to him in the long run if he would have to be so mindful all the time of how people perceived him, and if he felt odd about changing himself to fit expectations. he was absolutely overthinking everything regarding this idea of image, but it was worth considering.

there didn't seem to be anyone better to ask about image and presentation than sarang, who, from what inho gathered, was known for being excellent in that realm. "do you feel like you have to think a lot about your image and how you present yourself to others? or do you think it comes natural?"

[sarangbe]

when jingren's eyes widen at his comments, sarang can't help but feel satisfied. he's nothing if not generous with his love. he takes his namesake seriously in that sense. most conversations with him start with a well-timed, witty one-liner or compliment; all which come from the heart. hopefully jingren understands that his words have meaning to them, and he's not gassing him up for no reason, nor does he have ulterior motives here. sarang merely wants his team to feel confident going into their set. regardless of how talented a person is, if they don't carry themselves with a certain level of self-assurance, their performance will not go as planned. it's literally as simple as that.

"your singing is much more than okay, let's just start with that," he counters his teammate's words, shaking his head in his direction. "i mean it when i say that you're incredible. i realize you're maybe trying to be modest, and i love that about you, but sometimes, it's okay to feel good about your skills, too; to celebrate them, in a way."

though, when jingren mentions that what he's really worried about, sarang's eyes light up, and in one swift motion, he scoots closer to his senior on the floor, crosses his legs into the shape of a pretzel, then turns to face him; mirroring his motions.

"you're definitely right about that. if there's one thing i've mastered over time, it's using facial expressions to add that extra umph to a performance!" he asserts, hoping that if he's confident in himself, jingren will feel like it's okay for him to feel the same way. "here, let's avoid the mirror for right now. what i want you to do right now is make the biggest, dumbest, goofiest face you can at me right now. don't think about it at all, no thoughts allowed. literally just do it."

jingren had been overworking his mind the entirety of being on the show so far. that's the issue that came with signing up for the show on a whim and actually getting in when he didn't think he would even get through the first round or so. but now that he was steadily gaining so much from simply participating, it'd actually crush him to be eliminated now. funny how those things sort of work. but this doesn't come to him naturally, and the full-time student still feels out of his element. it's not necessarily cluelessness, but he's rather ignorant about the industry and while he did a bit of dancing and singing for fun before, jingren isn't one of the ones who is fully immersed into understanding what goes into becoming an idol. other than a lot of hard work, that is. because wow - while he's rather good with endurance in general, this is a different type of overworking in comparison to even the endless nights of studying. completely different leagues. people don't give performers the credit that is due.

he's been staring into the mirror after having gone over the choreography a few times, in segments already but there are parts he's still not catching onto. it's only the start, but the competition moves so damn fast. he's getting by... and thank god jay is around to push him beyond his potential too - how lucky was he to be put into this group, jingren really doesn't know because everyone has been great so far. their coach is pretty nice too and - speak of the devil, he's caught off guard as his eyes widen at sarang's appearance. "o-oh, now you're giving me too much credit," jingren starts to laugh, the alarm and compliment making him flustered as he stumbles on his words. "i... i'm glad my singing is okay. and well.. i can think of plenty to improve on but i'm already showing such a bad example even right now."

"i need to not look or feel scared for starters. but it'll show all over my face when i try to perform. i'm horrible at expressions and - being relaxed while... trying not to look like i'm trying." jingren takes a big breath in, and tries to shake off his nerves. this whole competition had him in a wrack. blinking multiple times before tearing his eyes away from sarang's in the reflection, he properly turns to look at the group's coach, who had the most reassuring eyes, in his opinion-- "you're really good at performing. i think there's a lot that you could help me with, don't you agree?"

[sarangbe]

when jay is quick to question his comment, sarang's smile grows, and instead of laying off of him a little bit, he decides to lean into him; into their moment. "what? a man can't tell another man that he finds him beautiful?" he asks, teasing. "personally, i don't think there's anything wrong with giving someone a compliment that they deserve, no matter who they are, and if for some reason there is something wrong with that, then... i'll accept that, i guess. i'll be wrong." he emphasizes his playfulness with a wink, hoping it'll coax jay into having some fun with him; to take a break from working so hard, even if it's just for one second.

"you also don't have to share anything personal with me either, of course, but knowing that the subject matter is one you can relate to will help sell your performance. trust me." hoping this is okay, sarang reaches one of his hands across the table and embraces jay's forearm; coiling his fingers around it only to give an affectionate squeeze. "you've got this, love, i promise. if they want balance from you, that's something we can work on, too."

with that, he sits up a little straighter, but still keeps their bodies connected; his grip on jay's arm softening, but only slightly. "what if you focused more of the natural energy, that intensity, you have into the dance, and scale back the delivery of the rap slightly?" while he knows this practice is easier said than done, sarang believes it's the best place to start. "i've learned there's levels to all types of performance. sometimes, you don't want to start too fiery because you'll get burnt out right away, and you won't finish strong."

using his free-hand, he centers the lyrics sheet they have so it's placed in the middle of the type, perfectly between them. "for your first part, you're more-or-less complementing the vocalist's lines, right? you're a team, a duo, in that sense, and instead of delivering your rap with immense strength and possibly overshadowing him with it, it should sound more like you're supporting one another. does that make sense?"

it's not that jay isn't used to being scrutinized under a meaningful eye before. there have been countless comments turned his way too, although most of the time he has learned to tune out the voices and focus on what he wants to do. as long as the music in his head continues to repeat itself and there's a melody that he could write into blank sheets, he's fine. unfortunately, he can't exactly do that with his current circumstances.

that being said, sarang hasn't actually said anything, which confuses jay somewhat. it's why he asked straight up, wondering if sarang didn't want to hurt his feelings or something lame. that would've ticked jay off too, he doesn't need the pity of one of the previous winners—more than anything, it'd be a significant blow to his pride and ego. if that was the route sarang chose to take, jay had half a mind to stand up and leave the room entirely without saying a word. but that doesn't seem to be necessary.

on the contrary, what comes out of sarang's mouth sounds more spontaneous, with a teasing cadense jay hadn't expected. jay hadn't missed the hint of pink on the other boy either. he even took a glance at where he suspected a camera was carefully placed, almost out of sight. like sarang had uttered something that shouldn't be caught by the audience. those types of remarks aren't forbidden in shows like these, he'd watched them before. but there's something about the way sarang said it that rang a few alarms.

"is that something you can say in front of the cameras?" he asks, but he's not that concerned, genuinely. if he wasn't in such a strange mood, he'd even find it funny and amusing. unfortunately, jay's mood has been violently shifting around like a roller coaster ever since he got on the show. nonetheless, he takes sarang's observations and advice seriously.

jay gives a short hum. "don't think i should be sharing something personal like that to the masses. fortunately for me, i honestly haven't experienced a bad break-up of that sort." it's not a lie, not that jay felt the need to elaborate further on the matter. "but the feeling of wanting to permanently block someone from my life... that's nothing unfamiliar. there have been many moments where i'd hover over the block button." particularly whenever his parents call, but again—nothing he needed to say aloud.

"everything's about emotions and passion... i get that, i agree with it even. but i'm supposed to find 'balance' because i'm 'too intense' with it." if he could, he'd mention those choice words with a gesture of air quotations, but he's busy trying to not get eliminated. "that's the annoyi—difficult part." what a confusing message.

[sarangbe]

everyone who knows sarang will tell you that he gets bored easily. some would say even too easily. he's a person who needs a lot of stimulation, a lot of action. one could argue that filming for next gen season two should be enough for him to be remain comfortable, but that's sadly not the case for him. this isn't the type of stimuli that satiates him. if anything, showing up to set each day has become painstakingly dull; humdrum monotony that he's getting tired of, even if there are more missions ahead of him to look forward to.

speaking of which, he's thankful to not be competing this year, but he sometimes wonders if he'd find being a competitor more thrilling. the stakes would be higher, at least. as a coach, his job is easier, to a degree. sarang was feeling immense pressure to be perfect before, and the realization of how dumb it was to pile so much unnecessary weight on his shoulders has freed him from those constraints. while he couldn't be more thankful for that, the stress he once felt has been replaced with devastating ennui, and he doesn't know if that's better or worse.

so far today, sarang's spent most of his hours overseeing the others as they practice, and for the better part of the last thirty minutes, his rosy gaze has been fixated on one of his teammates, song jaeyoung, or jay, as he prefers to be called. now, others may notice how long sarang's been staring at him and think that he's only being highly analytical of jay—capturing each lyric jay raps so he could provide necessary feedback—but they're technically wrong.

is he being analytical? sure—in a way he is, but it's not in the way an onlooker would assume. instead, he's merely appreciating how beautiful the other man is. there's something so delicate, and so symmetrical, about his facial features. his body line is just as impressive, too. while he's been rapping, sarang's been admiring the shape of his lips; watching them move and curl around each syllable he spits. however, when jay opens the door for sarang to give him criticism, the younger of them is thrown off-guard; blushing slightly as if he's been caught redhanded doing something bad.

"i'm sorry," he begins, voice a delicate, flirtatious lilt even if he's only uttered three syllables so far. "i guess i've just been a little distracted by how handsome you are..." the instant the words leave his mouth, he grins; his vulpine eyes curling upward to look even more mischievous. "so, i guess the answer to your question is yes—i have been having fun just watching you." with that, he winks, emphasizing his playfulness. "the truth is, i can't rap well, so i'm unsure if i should even be giving you advice. however, what i can say is that, with rapping, i find that it's all about attitude, and the message."

that's what he's heard anyway, and he decides to elaborate. "the song is about not wanting to get back with an ex-lover after they didn't appreciate you, or wronged you. they keep calling you, but you want them to stop. personally, knowing your rap style, i think you could do a lot with your parts. have you ever experienced something like the song is conveying before?"

soft.

he doesn't know what to make of @sarangbe, truthfully.

that's not necessarily a bad thing, in jay's opinion. he certainly didn't mean it in a manner that's negative. after the criticism and feedback dished out to him, and how they seem to dislike the way he goes about things in general; jay expected to be paired up with someone a lot more strict. hard and tight in all the wrong places, basically. a sucker for rules, someone who refuses to let loose and would force jay's head in the game. not in the fun way, though.

but that isn't exactly how sarang turned out to be. in fact, sarang can probably be described as the complete opposite of that. sarang is… soft, gentle. not the most coach material, not that jay would say that out loud. then again, sarang basically won the last season of next gen, so jay clearly doesn't know what he's talking about. either way, there's something to learn from sarang. he just… doesn't know what yet.

the other boy had been encouraging, though. which is another thing jay hadn't expected, because he thought he'd be hearing another onslaught of critical comments up until their performance. but even after jay had been practicing and rehearsing his lines in front of sarang, spitting his verses out like they're fire on his tongue, sarang had nothing bad to say.

"i can take your criticism, you know." jay informs, throat rather dry after repeating his lines over and over in an attempt to get it perfect. "i don't need any sugarcoating either," he adds. "surely there's something off you wanted to point out this whole time you've been watching and listening to me."

he turns to sarang, eyebrow raised. "or what, are you just having fun watching me?" he says in jest, not forgetting to add in the sarcasm to his tone.

[sarangbe]

I ♡ YOUR FACE 염사랑 → 황징런

after having some much-needed conversations with loved ones, and after noticing how the episodes of the show are playing out so far, sarang feels a massive amount of weight release from his shoulders. the blatant reminder that he's, in fact, not the focus of this season is one that he deeply needed. he was putting way too much pressure on himself to present a perfect image, one that no one but him was expecting out of himself, and the sensation of shrugging off all of that self-doubt feels absolutely-fucking-delicious. it's perfect.

that, and well, spending quality time with alex worked its magic on him, too. that's to be expected, though. for many moons now, alex has been his prized antidote whenever his brain is short-circuiting. there's just something about him that calms him down; a je ne sais quoi that sarang can't really explain, but he's glad that it exists.

suffice it to say, for this new chapter of next gen season two, he's feeling much more present and refreshed. his energy levels are back to normal, and he's dedicated to having a good time, as per usual, so as his team works hard to prepare an entertaining stage for the at-home viewers and judging panel, he wanders around their practice quarters to ensure that everyone is doing alright. however, when he spots jingren sitting in front of a mirror by himself, he decides to join him; plopping down beside him, gazing at him through the glass before them.

"hey!" he begins, his vulpine gaze locked on his senior via reflection. "you look like you're thinking a little too hard about something. is there anything i can help with?" the query is simple, but he hopes that it wasn't too abrupt. "i can tell you already that, if you're having any doubts about the performance or your vocals, there's no point. you're, like, so talented. like, i could never sing as well as you do."

hopefully a well-placed compliment is enough to dash any short-term insecurities he may be experiencing, but if not, sarang's dedicated to doing whatever he can to boost jingren's confidence. that's basically his job, after all; one that he knows he can do very well, at that.

[sarangbe]

✨ hi, friends! ✨ with next gen s2p3 dropping, i would absolutely love to plot with more people involved in the show! 🥰 so, if your muse is involved in next gen s2 and could use some help from sarang, or would love to thread with he and i for any reason, let me know by liking this post and i'll message you asap! i'll also be reaching out to the individuals in his team privately to kickstart conversations! below the cut is a quick rundown of some of the things he excels at/how he could help your muse, as well as some other general ideas for threads! 🥳

1.

sarang's biggest assets are visual appeal, stage presence, charisma, and general performance skills. these typically manifest in a mastery of facial expressions, adding stylistic touches to performances, the ability to command attention, fearlessness of the center role, and overall watchability. he's not the best dancer, but this skill of his has improved over time, but he cannot offer much assistance when it comes to vocal work and rapping. he can't sing or rap, y'all. don't even ask. though, if your muse needs to work on stage presence and capturing the vibe of a song, etc., he's your guy! 🥰

primarily though, he's at next gen to boost everyone up and be their biggest supporter. he succeeded in next gen by remembering to have fun and infusing that into everything he did, and he's perfect to talk to if you need a hug or a pick-me-up!

2.

as far as threads are concerned, here's some ideas:

your muse comes across as cold, stoic, and has blank expressions. let sarang teach them how to possess more warmth, even if it's fabricated.

is your muse having a hard time in the competition? do they need a therapy session or pep talk? come to sarang! he always knows just what to say to make a person smile and feel good about themselves. he'll wrap you up in good vibes!

sarang loves downtime away from practice, and he'd be a coach that wouldn't shy away from doing a leisurely activity with someone to take a break from all the goings-on. after all, breaks are important to success! he can help your muse with their fashion aesthetic; they can grab smoothies or lattes; he can teach them how to take good selfies and edit them to perfection; etc. etc. etc.!

is your muse a "fan" of his? do they hate him and think he didn't deserve to win the first season? maybe they can have a run-in on the show and we can see where things go!

[sarangbe]

@/CALLME_LOVE Next Gen 꼭 보세요! 🤍

[sarangbe]

sarang tries not to grimace whenever nayoung mocks him. maybe that wasn't her intention, but watching her put on a façade that's meant emulate him seems honestly pretty mean-spirited. however, he tries not to get offended by it. with the cameras capturing every moment of next gen, the last thing he needs is to come across like a wilted flower. like she mentions, he won the show's first season. the presentation of his currently active "reign"—if it can even be called that—is important to him. he doesn't want to seem ungrateful, nor does he want to appear uppity in relation to the contestants.

concealing a deep breath, he nods his head toward her. exhaustion still blankets him, but he's doing his best not to wrap himself up in it too tightly. "you're right," he offers, stifling a smile. "maybe it's wrong of me to not feel incredibly qualified to offer guidance to people, and i appreciate you trying to remind me of that." are his responses to her similar to that of a pageant queen's? yes, but yeom sarang is far too image-conscious to say what he's really thinking right now.

who am i to give people advice on dancing when i'm not that great at it? how am i, arguably sr media's worst singer, meant to help people with their pitch? how do i tell people what they can to do win, when i didn't win next gen by killing myself with overwork? all i did was focus on having fun, which is what i've been telling people to do...

clearly, whatever he says isn't going to please her, and he'd rather get this conversation over with instead of risking having an unsavory moment on camera. "i am sorry if it seems like i haven't been taking things seriously, or if i've gone about this all wrong, in your opinion. from this point forward, i'll do better." a part of him feels like cheekily winking at her after uttering the name of this season's title song by coincidence, but he worries that if he did that, she'd punch him in the face.

"thank you for looking out for me, nayoung. i appreciate you."

she listens to sarang's explanation, and it's a weak one, both in reasoning and delivery, as far as nayoung is concerned. she gets it, and it's not like she thinks he's entirely wrong. positive feedback is just as important as constructive criticism so people don't get discouraged, allegedly. nayoung knows that's not her strong suit. sarang being able to balance her out in that regard is a nice concept, but they're here to be coaches, not cheerleaders.

"there's nothing wrong with being encouraging, but you can be encouraging and helpful. like..." she thinks of an example, then shifts into her best sarang impression, flashing a bright smile, oozing artificial warmth. "'that was great! try to smile just a little while you're dancing and you'll be even better!'" the act drops just as quickly as it came, replaced by nayoung's natural vaguely deadpan coldness. she has plenty of experience flashing fake smiles and pretending to be who she thought she needed to be – like sarang, really. his success on next gen last season proved her old theory of the ideal idol personality right. maybe it's just something you can't altogether fake. it seems like nayoung has had better luck while being herself, and it leaves her with more energy to improve herself in other areas, so it's fine with her.

"you can do both. you won next gen, sarang. i know these kids would kill to get actual tips from you."

[sarangbe]

DO BETTER 염사랑 → NGS2P2

when he was informed of this mentoring opportunity, sarang honestly wanted to reject it. while he realizes that, as the winner of next gen's first season, it would be appropriate for him to return to its second series, this isn't the way he envisioned it happening. he thought that, maybe, he'd show up at the finale to present the new winner with their crown and scepter, or that he'd be a special emcee for one of the performance-oriented challenges. for some reason, he never considered that they would want him to act as a coach to this year's batch of prospective trainees; someone who takes their hand, and helps guide them toward attaining their dreams.

the mere thought of that drummed up an anxiety in him that he didn't know he had—an imposter syndrome that genuinely had him questioning if he should even continue walking down the flowered path that he's on right now. when he asked himself what he could possibly teach these idol-hopefuls, he genuinely had no idea.

he knows people like ren, joomi, and dohyun could instruct someone on the proper way to hit high notes, or even the fundamentals of producing music, and he knows people like nayoung and chaerin can give lessons on being well-rounded, and seojun on dancing like a pro, but him? what could he, yeom sarang, possibly teach anyone?

if this were a design class, he'd feel much more in his element. if he was asked to give tips and tricks for taking great selfies, he'd excel at that, too, but when it comes to the stage, specifically, he tends to believe that the performance skills he has can't be taught, per se. it's more like something a person just either possesses, or doesn't.

sarang feels this way because, in his experience, no one helped him craft his ability to provide facial expressions that beautifully match the vibe of a song. no one gave him a crash-course in being eye-catching, nor in having stage presence. these are things that he's somehow discovered he's great at, and he has no idea how to break them down into a science. that fact alone frustrates him immensely.

with this in mind, he decided to be a source of warmth and positivity to the trainees; to make them feel good by informing them of what they're doing right, and reminding them to take a breath and have fun with the challenges. the others can be harsh if that's what they want to do, but going into this, he really wanted to focus on boosting their confidence in whatever way he could. however, his approach has garnered plenty of criticism from his peers; so much so that he's even gotten into an argument his label-mate over it.

they decry that he's too nice, and that he only cares about being liked, so he's not as firm as he should be. they tell him to be honest, to offer advice, to answer questions, to tell people if they're not performing well, but he genuinely feels like he can't do that. who is he talk to, anyway? sure, he won this same competition about a year ago, but he's always felt as though that was a complete fluke; a small stroke of luck that bestowed itself upon him without him really even asking for it. did he sign up to compete? yes, but he was careful what he wished for. he wanted more eyes on him, not to walk away with the grand prize.

all of this said, how is he supposed to advise anyone on how to sing, dance, or rap when he barely knows how to do any of that himself? he's told frequently that he's not a good singer, and his dance skills are only so good because of the help of moon jinyoung. if anything, someone like him should've walked away with the blue ribbon.

knowing that going round-and-round about this in his head won't help, sarang decides to try his best to do better—just like this year's signal song suggests. it's not easy to walk away from these feelings, but in order to be a true professional, he needs tap into his mastery of compartmentalization. right now, he's a public persona; someone that isn't fully connected to his true self. maybe framing it like that will help him access more grit. hoping his efforts aren't done in vain, sarang prepares himself for the rest of production; heeding the advice he's been given by everyone in his corner.

he can do this. he knows he can.

[sarangbe]

sarang would rather be anywhere but here, and in an attempt to not make that so obvious, he's been pouring metric tons of his energy into plastering a smile on his face, and offering everyone around him the balmy warmth of the sun itself via his presence. it's something he mastered as a kid, and this coping mechanism of his is coming in clutch during the filming of next gen season two. honestly, the fact that he's here again, but this time in a mentorship role, astonishes him. it's truly something that he never envisioned happening.

he remembers how he felt last time he was on this set, though. there was always the smallest twinge of anxiousness in his stomach, but overall, he had a great time. he chose to focus on making it a fun experience for himself, so he fought away the feelings of stress and exhaustion, and gave himself to each new day; excited for what it would bestow upon him and his friends. it wasn't easy back then, but he looks back on it fondly. that said, he knows he can relate to how this season's contestants must be feeling, and all he wants to do is remind them to have fun, and to remember that this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that's meant to be enjoyed.

however, it's been hard for him to get his message across because, for some strange reason, his head and his heart are currently at war. sarang's never been the sensitive type, but lately, he's felt incredibly blue. these emotions are ones he can't necessarily intellectualize, and that frustrates him beyond belief as logic is typically what he relies on, but at the same time, these emotions not easy ones to feel, either, and on top of that, he doesn't even have the time to feel them.

instead, he's dolled up and placed in front of a camera, meant to set aside his own nurturing his own mental state in order to nurture the states of others.

it's caused him to feel quite heavy, and being that he's already rather distracted during shooting, he's not been able to muster up more than a "you're doing an incredible job!" or "you have so much potential; i just know you're going to turn it out!" to everyone he's overseen. he's noticed glares from his company-mate, whose mind seems to be in the right place for all of this, but he doesn't really know what to tell her, so whenever she approaches him during their down-time to finally voice her obvious frustration, he can't come up with an answer right away.

normally possessing sharp wit, sarang hesitates here, and after a few seconds, he turns toward her, offering a half-smile. "i'm hoping that by sharing some kind words, it'll lift their confidence and lead to better performances..." he utters unconfidently, hoping it suffices. "the instructors are already extremely hard on them, you know? the last thing they need is for me to make them feel worse." that, and well, he genuinely doesn't think he's qualified to give them advice, but he's not going to admit that. at least not right now.

"frankly, you're already so good at cutting straight to the point and telling them how to improve. i feel like, to balance you, i should be encouraging. don't you think?"

* ❁┆inferno

nayoung is serious about this. granted, nayoung is serious about most things, especially involving competition. next gen just so happens to be about the biggest competition she can possibly be involved in, and she demands excellence from everyone. she might be a little too hard on some of the contestants, but she doesn't think so; they're improving, and that's all that matters.

she also demands excellence from her fellow coaches, or at least her fellow coach from sr media: sarang. she isn't getting it.

she's pretty disappointed in him, though she doesn't know why she's surprised. as far as nayoung is concerned, sarang has coasted by in just about everything she knows of him being involved in; next gen, training, and his relationship with alex now – or lackthereof, in the past. he gets lucky and gets his way over and over again by putting in the bare minimum effort. why? because he's cute? charismatic? fuck, so is nayoung; they even have dating alex in common. nayoung, however, is significantly less useless, but also significantly less...adored. privileged. whatever. she doesn't have nearly as much as sarang does despite working her ass off. it's annoying at best – infuriating at worst.

she sees it already here, too: beloved sarang, flashing his smiles, offering no feedback of significance. batting his eyelashes and looking pretty for the cameras, likely to receive glowing feedback from everyone watching, judges included. she's been watching him; she's noticed he hasn't offered anyone a proper critique. only encouragement. she gets it – he probably wants to look good, and that's what being nice will get him. nayoung just thinks he's shallow. superficial.

nayoung isn't afraid to be the bad guy. she isn't afraid to call out next gen's darling sarang where no one else will. so when she catches him during a break, she approaches him, perfectly aware of the cameras trained on them in every practice room.

"hey," she greets him briefly, and then doesn't beat around the bush for a second: "why haven't you given anyone a legitimate critique all week? you know these contestants aren't as great as you're telling them they are." she realizes that sounds harsh. she'll probably get evil edited no matter what she adds, but she tries to salvage it anyway: "they need our help to be great. they don't need you to lie to them to make them feel better about themselves." okay, maybe she didn't make it much better.

❁┆@sarangbe

[sarangbe]

MADE FOR ME 염사랑 → 알렉스

he's exhausted, and for anyone who knows yeom sarang, they would know that that's not something he claims to be very often. typically, he's quite the opposite and possesses an inexhaustible supply of energy. a true extrovert, he thrives when he's out-and-bout, glittering around the city like he knows how to, with loved ones on each arm; each hour full of something new and exciting to do. it invigorates him, especially when he's getting to know someone new, or doing something he's never done before, but lately, there's been very little of that happening, and honestly, it's colored him blue.

if anyone were to ask who or what hurt him, sarang would point his finger at sr media. it's not like they've done anything wrong, per se. he's just feeling spent when it comes to his training regiment. it's eaten so much of his schedule that he genuinely feels like he has no free time, and being that he's reminded of it practically every day, he knows that it's only going to get worse, especially once he's débuted.

viewing existence through murky lenses hasn't been easy, and as he's usually an optimist, he's been working double-time to counteract his sadness, but doing so is only hurting him more; increasing his tiredness at rapid velocities. that said, while he's lying in bed, he still can't seem to sleep, and as he doesn't want to disrupt alex or ren, he strategically climbed out of bed and made himself a cup of tea.

he doesn't want to look at the clock, so he avoids them at all costs, and once he's set, he sinks into the plushness of their couch; allowing the cushions to cradle his aching limbs. he's only alone for a few moments, though, because he suddenly sees their bedroom door swing open, and the instant he catches site of the figure's silhouette, he knows it's alex. while he hates that he woke him up, he's glad to have the company.

"did i wake you?" he whispers, scooting over to make room for him. "i didn't mean to, i'm sorry. i couldn't stop tossing and turning, and i didn't want bother you and ren." reaching over, he brings his mugful of tea toward his lips, taking a sip, then offering it to his boyfriend. "do you want some? it's chrysanthemum. it's really good."

[sarangbe]

yeom sarang is someone who, for better or worse, playfully imagines what married life would be like with everyone he sleeps with. it's not because he actually wants to marry them, but the romantic idea of the two of them growing old together, having children, and building a home is a specific game of make-believe that he loves indulging in.

maybe the appeal of it is because, frankly, it's something that feels practically impossible to him. it's no secret that his home country isn't an accepting, loving place for sexual minorities, and he's unsure if he'll ever see a marriage equality bill pass in south korea during his lifetime. the grim reality of it makes him blue, and sometimes his rosy dreams do, too, but he can't help himself from traveling down that path whenever he experiences another man so close; so intimately.

when he thinks of what being wed to xiaoli would be like, he imagines a lot of this. the foundation of their relationship is largely sensual, and though he knows long-term relationships, and marriages, can face a lull here and there, when it comes to the two of them, he genuinely doesn't think that would ever become an issue. they're invested in one another's bodies, their pleasure. it's always been what's paramount between them. however, after awhile, their bond has become less superficial, and sarang's glad for that.

he remembers when he first met xiaoli. that night, he had no idea who the tall, blond man sitting across the bar was, but he knew that he needed to talk to him. he didn't know then that they'd be sharing a bed as often as they do, but he's really glad that they're remained in one another's orbits, and he hopes that, regardless of what happens in their futures, they can remain close somehow.

"well, you're sweet for offering to pay for my food, but i assure you that i'll definitely work for it," he teases, voice a delicate, singsongy lilt. "what do you want for breakfast, though? y'know, other than me." an impish giggle flutters from between his lips, and he begins thinking if there's any cravings he wants to satisfy today. the company monitors his health, so he can't go too wild, but a treat here and there never killed anyone. "hotteok? gilgeori toast? or did you want to splurge on something more luxurious?"

in truth, it doesn't matter what they eat. he knows today'll be a great day regardless. "and are there any movies or dramas you wanna watch? i keep wondering what's come out since i started training. i honestly haven't had the time to even keep up with the new releases of anything. all i know are the walls of the company..." there's a wistfulness to the way he speaks, and he shuts his eyes and reminds himself to remain present in the moment; to focus on xiaoli.

"i really have been missing you. you remind me of the days where i was allowed to be a little crazy. being with you is like getting that back, but ten times better."

xiaoli is picky about many a thing, but especially who he brings into his bed and even more so with whom he allows to stay after their activities. he likes when sarang is able to stay the night. while most nights are spent with little sleep for him, xiaoli believes having sarang around helps him at least a little bit. it wasn't to say he still didn't spend that time tossing and turning or waking up abruptly, but what little moments of rest he got were nicer with the other as he was surrounded by the younger's familiar shampoo and lingering perfume.

recently, he likes to believe, he had gotten some increased amount of sleep, but he'd had these periods before. soon he would return to no more than three or four hours a night, if he was lucky. so he cherished the nights where those hours were prolonged, and mornings like these where they could be lazier and rest more as they saw fit.

a lazy, sleepy smile pulls on xiaoli's lips feeling sarang's lips pressing on his shoulder before the other is making himself comfortable. his own hands traveled up sarang's thighs, and over his curves before finding a new home on the other man's hips. "i slept," xiaoli assured the other. while he never went into detail about his sleep issues, or the nightmares that sometimes kept him awake, sarang never complained and he was thankful for that. still he didn't like to burden others with his issues. "i promise."

today was one of his rare days off, where he both didn't have to attend school nor work. the idea of being lazy all day sounded magical almost. "i think that is one of the best ideas you've ever had," he said, voice still heavy with sleep and lack of use. these lazy moments were some of his favorites. the smile on his lips widened with the other's lips now pressing onto his cheek. "i might even bed kind and pay for your food," xiaoli teased. he would pay, he usually insisted on it. xiaoli had more money than he needed from his family, and he enjoyed treating his friends. "i'll get you whatever you want."

the idea of not having to leave his home was perfect, even better if he wasn't going to be required to leave his bed unless absolutely necessary. "no, it literally sounds perfect. i don't wanna get out of bed," xiaoli insisted, arms coming to wrap around sarang's waist and hold him.

[sarangbe]

sarang remembers being where yuji is now. he remembers knowing who he was, and working hard to find acceptance for himself, from himself, but even after he swallowed that pill and felt regenerated because of it, there was a chill that'd race down his spine when it came to telling other people; when it came to physically saying it out loud. whenever it's spoken, it makes it feel actually real; realer than when the seed starts to sprout inside and you're able to let it bloom silently, safely. some people keep things that way. they keep the flora that's inside of them for their eyes only, and sarang accepts that.

however, he knows how much bravery it takes to live openly, and knowing that yuji wants to take that step—at least with him, and maybe with other people in her life that make her feel comfortable—has him feeling proud. that's what all of this is about anyway, right? pride. self-love. self-acceptance. just knowing that he's a part of yuji's journey in that way makes him feel golden, and all he can do now is ensure that she feels the same way; that she's equally as euphoric about her identity as he is.

"i've always thought of you as a sister, but now, even more-so," sarang begins, that same warm smile from earlier still on his face. "if there's anything i've learned from friends in itaewon, it's that people like us are a family. we go through things that not everyone else does, and that's what connects us, you know? i take that really seriously." he feels lucky that he has a network of people who took him in when he moved to seoul awhile back. he hopes he can provide that to yuji, as well, whenever she's ready.

laughing at her comment, he shrugs his sloped shoulders and grins; looking her way. "that's how it should feel, right? it's your story to tell, and i'm so glad that you chose to tell it to me." just then, an idea crosses his mind. "we still have time before the hour rolls over. wanna celebrate over a smoothie? on me!" he offers, hoping that getting up and changing venues will continue to decrease the tension she must've been feeling momentarily.

maybe it gets easier every time. yuji hopes it is– maybe in the future she can say it as easy as breathing. she’ll make it a goal in the future, once she’s gotten used to saying it and realizing that she shouldn’t care about what other people think about it. doesn’t change who she is, after all. just defines her more.

sarang is so sweet. and like she expects– nothing changes. sarang smiles and he hugs her. which helps put the little parts of her back together that felt so nervous saying it outloud.

welcome to the family. she blinks; the tell-tale familiar sting behind her eyes— she won’t cry if she can help it, but it’s a nice sentiment that it touches her heart. a genuine smile crosses her face, and she nods. gathers her words carefully and composes herself a bit. “of course,” her voice is soft, shoulders relaxing further. “you’ve been really nice about it since the beginning.” in a way, he kinda helped plant the seed in her mind, give her more food for thought.

the words are nice. it makes her feel a little stupid for having her hackles raised– even jinyoung had responded in kind, in his own way. they’re not the girls at her high school, nor her sister’s judgemental husband, and above all– they’re not her father.

“i’m always worrying.” a wry smile crosses her face, a chuckle leaving her. “but…still, thank you. that means a lot.” and maybe they’re just words, but yuji can feel the sincerity in them. she knows sarang means it, and that does mean the world to her. “it’s kind of funny. i’ve been sitting here going insane in my head about it, but now that i’ve done it, it just feels…normal.” her eyes drop down to the paper, trails her eyes over her random doodling. “feels kind of silly.”

[sarangbe]

sometimes, sarang feels guilty for being able to sleep so soundly beside xiaoli. there's been a couple of times where he's stayed up late with him, all night even, engaging him in conversation, or exploring even more carnal desires, because the elder of them wasn't able to enter dreamland like he hoped to. though, after he started training full-time and his levels of exhaustion reached new heights, it's been all too easy for sarang to snuggle into xiaoli's chest and drift off; slumbering solidly in a way that he doesn't think he ever has before.

with a mind as agile as his, his train of thought often doesn't let him rest, especially throughout the day, so nowadays, he looks forward to shutting his brain off and not thinking about anything when the moon rises. he just wishes he can rub some of that sensation off on xiaoli. out of everyone sarang knows, he's the most deserving of a delicious snooze; one that leaves him feeling renewed and rested. somehow, he'll figure out a way to give that to him. he's sure of that.

for now, though, he enjoys the feeling of such large, strong hands embracing his knees, then motions to make a pillow out of his senior's shoulder; peppering it with kisses before he lays his head on top of it. "mhm," he hums simply, allowing his eyes to flutter closed again. "i always sleep well when i'm with you," he reassures, pursing his lips together. "what about you, hmm? i hope you at least got some sleep. some is better than none, right?"

with that, he shifts his position slightly so he can look up at him; admiring the sharp contours of his face. "i don't have anything going on today, so if you don't either, i vote we remain lazy. maybe we can order-in some food, and stay in bed, and watch some cute shows, and burn off calories in between episodes... if you know what i mean." an impish smile grabs hold of the corners of his mouth, and before xiaoli can say anything else, he stamps a kiss onto his cheek; fond.

"does that sound good to you, or are you tired of being at home and in bed? i wanna know what'll make you happy because i'll be happy regardless of what we do together. i'm just glad i finally have you all to myself for a little while."

it was rare xiaoli found himself having had such a sound night's sleep. most nights he slept only a few hours at most nowadays, but having some else around seemed to help sometimes. it was hit or miss, not always consistent he realized. it depended a lot on the person. a random person he took to bed wasn't going to help him sleep more through the night, but those he spent extended amounts of time with, trusted, and maybe even considered friends would help fend off the reoccurring flashbacks and dreams that usually plagued him through the night.

sarang was someone who made him feel content and comfortable enough to drift off to dream land and stay there for more than an hour or two at a time. xiaoli was warm and comfortable with the other laying next to him. even if he woke up in the middle of the night the familiar scent of the other's shampoo and presence were things that brought him back down to earth.

admittedly, xiaoli had been up on and off for the last hour, body refused to drift back to sleep one more time, though he kept his eyes closed in attempt. it didn't register first what was going on as the weight of another was on top of him, but a small smile tugged on his lips as he felt the forehead kiss and heard sarang's voice.

brown eyes opened, blinking slowly to adjust to the sun light. "i'm awake," he confirmed, voice heavy with sleep, hands moving to sit comfortably on sarang's knees. "did you sleep well?" he asked. it was always a worry that his inability to sleep through the night would disturb the other, but he didn't recall jolting awake last night at any point.

[sarangbe]

when sarang witnesses roses bloom across ren's pale complexion, there's an immediate compulsion to continue his flirtation in an attempt to watch his blush deepen; transform from an innocent tickle-me-pink to an amorous scarlet. however, before he's able to fully lean into it and cause even more trouble, ren creates distance between them by standing up, ambling toward the keyboard in the corner of the room, and changing the subject.

the fact that he didn't just give into him intrigues sarang, funnily enough, and though he's somewhat shocked at the supposed rejection, it still unlocks something within him: an aching need to be capture his attention somehow. ren remaining laser-focused on the task at hand is sexy, and his unwillingness to become distracted only intensifies that appeal, in sarang's opinion. he can't even explain why, it's just how he responds.

it's visceral.

"you're no fun," he groans, pouting, then takes a seat in a chair beside ren's behind the keyboard. "it's not fair because..." leaning in, he lowers his voice to a delicate whisper, one that ghosts over ren's ear when he speaks, "i could've sworn i saw your nipples get a little hard through your shirt just now..." with the most impish grin decorating his countenance, he pulls away; giggling like a sprite. yeom sarang is a provocateur through-and-through, and while he's willing to follow ren's rules for the time being, he still wants to sprinkle in some fun here-and-there. he wouldn't be himself if he didn't.

though, his playful demeanor shifts slightly when he realizes that he's about to actually sing for ren. his confidence isn't exactly high when it comes to his voice, but he realizes that, since he's the one who asked ren for help, he needs to get over it sooner rather than later. "i've been told my range is... unique. an instructor at studio delta once asked why my voice was so high-pitched and i literally had no idea what to tell her. like, that's just the way it is? what else do you want me to say?" a soft laugh follows, and he shakes his head; still sort of bothered by it.

"like, i think i was able to sing 'hug' when we did it because it didn't really require a lot of strength from me. i was able to sing softly. it's hard for me to sing, like... powerfully, i guess." is he stalling? maybe a little, but he figures that ren should at least know what he's working with before launching into warming him up. "where... should we start? i don't remember what the lowest note i can hit is, but if i were to just try..." he pauses, inhales a deep breath, then vocalizes a shaky G3; blushing.

i'm definitely sure. how is it that everything sarang says sounds like he looks, warm and inviting, alluring even, like the purr of some mythical feline creature bidding him to solve a riddle and win a prize? he scoots closer, lessens the distance between them, runs his fingers through ren's hair, which seems to exist in a perpetual state of overgrown dishevelment these days. normally ren might resent the touch from a peer as patronizing, or mockery, as if he's being treated like a trained pet doing tricks for pats. but sarang scratches at something in his brain the same way his fingernails scratch lightly at ren's scalp, dragging a small wave of goosebumps across his forearms and making him suddenly self-conscious of how exposed he is in the thin t-shirt he's spent the day dancing in.

is he doing it on purpose? the double entendre laced throughout every word, the chuckles falling from his lips, the ever-shrinking air between them. it's a perfectly innocuous meeting where ren is meant to give sarang some peer coaching in what he does best: music. and yet, it almost feels forbidden, like they shouldn't be doing this on company property, like something inappropriate in a work setting is being left unsaid, just between the lines of their conversation. there's nothing wrong with it; they've already established that whatever they've got going on is a little more than friendship. but sarang is uttering words like 'sexy' and 'hot-for-teacher' so easily, blurring lines without a second thought, and ren can feel the tips of his ears turning pink under an impossible mop of brown-black hair in spite of everything.

if ren's eyes had moved up to meet sarang's eyes during his honest response, they fall again, as if reading through his sheet music again, even more intently than before, as if he might catch something he didn't the first time. in reality, it's to keep from losing the day to distractions, like that wink, or that face, or the kiss (the kiss??) pressed whisper-soft to his cheek.

"are we still talking about music?" comes ren's surprisingly witty quip in response, even and knowing. he glances up from the music through his lashes, a small, harmless warning for sarang to focus, to stop being so damn distracting, to let him work, during work, at work, which is where they are.

"here," he offers as a solution, climbing to his feet with a small groan, before making his way to sit in front of the electronic keyboard in the corner of the room, "let's do some scales first. i don't think i've ever actually heard your range."