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[saskiel]

Do I dare to hope?

Okay, so since the end of 5.0 I thought that the symbol of the Garlean empire..

.. was meant to be the rejoining of the shards.

But with the way the star of Azem looks like, and knowing who made it, what if it is WoL/D and their two most trusted friends?

[saskiel]

[saskiel]

<3

Searching for Light (Chapter 1)

Hey guys! I started to write a story set in FFXIV universe. Both of the main characters are OCs, they both were meant for RP but I really wanted to tell their story so here is the first chapter, I am not sure how many it will have yet. Hope you’ll enjoy <3 If you prefer reading on AO3 here is the link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/21572467/chapters/51431404

1

Sun’ri hopped of Ori’s back and lead the chocobo to the stable. She unstrapped the satchel from the saddle and looked up towards the window of their house. Expecting to meet her father’s eyes she got startled when she realized the elezen watching her was not gray haired and wrinkled, he had a cold face expression, revealing nothing of his intentions. A panic rose in the bottom of her stomach. Father didn’t mention any guests. She ran to enter the back door, while wrapping her fingers around the hilt of her dagger, hanging on her belt. When she entered the room, the stranger was still looking through the window. “You left your bag outside.” he said without turning around. “Who are you?” “Excuse my manners,” he finally turned to her, his pale blue eyes piercing her through. He was shorter than most elezens Sun’ri has met, but would still tower over her. “My name is Renjeon Sefaunt.” “And what are you doing in my house?” “Oh,” he looked away for a moment, brushed his dark hair back from his face and said “I’m being hired as an escort to, well, I believe, to you.” Sun’ri crossed her arms, furious, she turned around and almost ran into her father. “Back already?” Aupeaux’s kind eyes were smiling at her. “What is this, father?” she motioned towards the window, where the elezen stood. “Sun’ri, don’t be rude, we don’t address people as things.” Aupeaux started chuckling. She stood completely still, shocked and felt her cheeks burning up. “That’s not what I meant!” she looked at Renjeon apologetically but he was already grinning, “Father, I told you I am not a child anymore, I can do this on my own. No offense, Renjeon, but your services will not be needed.” The smile from Aupeaux’s face disappeared, “I am hiring him, I will say whether or not I need his service. You are either going with him or not at all.” Sun’ri looked into the ground, her arms crossed. “Well, that’s that then,” Aupeaux walked towards Renjeon and pat him on the shoulder, “The rate is as we discussed, if you return her with all limbs still attached, I will throw in some bonus.” Aupeaux lead the younger elezen towards the door. Sun’ri wanted to march to her room and stomp on every step of the staircase, but she was trying to make her father see she is not a child, stomping on the steps and smashing the door closed is not exactly mature, however alluring it seemed at the moment. “I told you, I can do this, why did you go behind my back?” Sun’ri asked the moment Aupeaux returned. “Because I said I won’t let you go alone. I’m too old for this and I would only slow you down, so I thought it only appropriate to hire someone in my stead. This is the end of the discussion, Sun’ri, you are my child and I w…” “There it is! You still think of me as a child.” “You will always be my child! But right now, you are acting like a brat! If I wanted to parent you, I’d ground you and not let you go anywhere. Do you think I am completely satisfied with trusting your life into the hands of a stranger?” he sighed, visibly tired, “Maybe you will understand once. Now excuse me, I have to go lay down before dinner.” Sun’ri suppressed tears, “I’m sorry, dad. I just…” “It’s alright.” he said as he was leaving the room, but then he paused with his hand on the door frame, “Oh, and don’t even think of tying him to a tree somewhere to ditch him, I can tell he is stronger than he looks.” The dinner went in a friendlier atmosphere. They spoke of the research her father was doing, he has discovered some sort of alchemical solution to help with a disease that was plaguing the city. Sun’ri collected the empty dishes and carried them to the kitchen for washing. She returned to the dining room and said goodnight to her father. There was a lot of packing in front of her. Sun’ri collected her daggers, sharpened them, properly cleaned them and put them back into the holsters. She treated the leather belts and straps, earlier she brought in Ori’s saddle to check it’s condition as well. She packed rations for her and Ori, extra ones too, just in case. Father prepared some potions and ointments for her, Sun’ri wrapped them in a piece of cloth so they don’t clink around in her bag. She then attacker her wardrobe, picked few clothes to take with and also ones she’d wear tomorrow. Simple cotton shirts, vests, leather boots and a coat. Sun’ri approached the vanity mirror and took out her earrings, they were too precious to got lost in the woods. She put them in a small jewelry box on her desk and dug around in it to protrude a simple small ring earring to put on instead. She brushed her waist long hair, braided it, brushed her long viera ears she despised at times and prepared for bed. The sun wasn’t up yet, but Sun’ri was. She was already clothed, pacing her room, watching out of the window, when someone knocked on her door. She opened the door to see her father’s smiling face. He peeked his head inside his room and said, “Hmm, by all the noise I thought a Goobbue broke into the house. If you are done stomping around and stalking the window, come have a breakfast with me.” Sun’ri furrowed her brows, she grabbed her bags and followed Aupeaux downstairs. Plates filled with food were already on the table, seems like he didn’t sleep too long either. Sun’ri took a bite out of a piece of pastry, there was more light outside now, the sun was about to rise. Aupeaux’s ears moved a little, he stood up and went to the door. She wasn’t surprised by this anymore, his hearing was impeccable, even in his age. Aupeaux walked back to the table, followed by Renjeon, who agreed to join them. He was wearing a black samurai robe, a katana hanging at his side. He sat down and assessed the different types of food. He reached for a piece of toast and butter. As he was spreading it on the toast, Renjeon addressed her, “Are you all ready?” Sun’ri swallowed a mouthful of pastry and put her hand in front of her mouth, “Yes, just need to put a saddle on Ori.” He nodded and started to work on his toast, while chewing he still held the butterknife in his hand, turning it around every now and then, the bracelets on his left hand clinking together in a silent chime. The table conversation turned to the mission at hand. Sun’ri fetched two sheets of paper with two different maps, she unrolled them in front of Renjeon. The bigger map showed The Shroud, the other seemed to be hand drawn. She explained to him which road they will take, where they cross the forest and where the entrance to the cave system should be. Renjeon’s long fingers brushed along the paper of the smaller map, as if trying to guess it’s quality. “While I appreciate the artistry, is this reliable?” “I should think so, I drew it. Although, it’s been some time so some of the paths may have collapsed.” Aupeaux rubbed his chin. Renjeon smiled at him and then turned to Sun’ri, “While I like the way you planned the journey, if we took this road,” he poked into the Central Shroud map, “we will get there…” “But it’s longer.” Sun’ri interrupted him.“But it’s not closed off. I talked to a merchant this morning, he said there was some sort of accident. He didn’t know anything more, said his assistant was pretty shaken up.” Aupeaux and Sun’ri  frowned at the same time. “Not to worry, I will keep her safe.” Renjeon smiled at Aupeaux. Sun’ri took a deep breath to say something, but thought better of it and just threw her hands in the air. “I’m going to prepare Ori.” she stood up and walked out of the house. She followed the path to the stable, but walked around it, instead of heading inside. Out of sight from the window, she protruded a tiny satchel from under one of the free planks. Inside were one last cigarette - the rest of them were already packed in her bag, and a tiny device used to set one of the ends of the cigarette on fire. She lit it up and took a long pull, held it in her lungs, then let the smoke out slowly, so no one could tell, if they happened to look from the window. Sun’ri closed her eyes and tried to calm her nerves. “He means well, you know. He cares about you.” Renjeon appeared out of nowhere, he didn’t make a sound while walking towards her, not even a clink of his bracelets. Sun’ri jumped and put the cigarette out. “I know.” she paused, “Before we go, we need to stop in the market.” “Supplies?” he raised his eyebrows. “No, we are getting you a bell.” she picked up the saddle and walked to the stable to put it on already excited Ori. Renjeon followed her with a grin on his face. Sun’ri lead the chocobo around the house, Aupeaux was already waiting outside, petting a pristine snowy white chocobo. She fetched rest of her bags from the house. Renjeon stepped in front of her and took the bags from her, “Let me do this, go say goodbye.” Sun’ri hesitated, but then nodded and let him strap the luggage on Ori. Aupeaux hugged his daughter in a strong bear hug, they stood there for a minute without any word. “Stay safe.” he said finally. “You too. See you soon, father.” Aupeaux look like he was going to say something more, but then just nodded. He turned towards Renjeon and said, “Take care of her!” “I will, sir.” Sun’ri climbed on Ori. “Come, Shiro.” said Renjeon to his chocobo. They both turned in the saddle to wave to Aupeaux. The forrest got thicker and when Sun’ri turned back, she didn’t see her father, nor the house anymore. They traveled in silence for about an hour, when Sun’ri broke the silence. “Can we stop for a moment?” Renjeon nodded, steered Shiro to the side of the road and hopped off. He turned to the viera, “So is this when you try to tie me to a tree and ditch me?” Sun’ri raised her eyebrows while taking a sip out of the waterskin. “Your father said you might. Just so you know, Shiro is very protective and leaves nasty bites.” the chocobo looked at her in a way that made her feel threatened. She could swear those birds understand more than they let on. “I’m not planning to ditch you, you are getting paid, might as well help me.” she shrugged. “Smart.” he nodded approvingly and took a swig out of his water. He then walked to Shiro and Ori and offered them some by pouring it in his palm. He shook his hand to dry it while the bracelets on his hand let out a clinking chime. Both of them climbed back into the saddles and continued on the road. They made a few short breaks to rest the chocobos and eat. The evening sun was glimmering through the tree leaves, casting dancing lights on their faces and the chocobo feathers. “We should stop, before we reach the deeper parts of the forest.” Renjeon said. Sun’ri nodded and started digging in the saddlebag, she protruded the map they were following and marked their position. They steered off the road and found a small clearing. By the time they unstrapped Shiro and Ori from their saddles and started the campfire, the daylight was already gone. Renjeon brought a blanket from his bag, sat down, leaned his back against a tree and covered himself. That’s when Sun’ri realized, what was the one item she forgot to pack. “You don’t have a blanket, do you?” Renjeon asked. Sun’ri appreciated he was at least trying to hide the grin. She sighed. “No, but it’s fine, this is not cold, I used to sleep in colder climates than this.” Renjeon shrugged, picked up a stick to poke the burning wood. Up until now, the chocobos were walking around them, snacking on some roots. Now finally, Shiro laid down near Renjeon and Ori looked at Sun’ri. “Come lay down, Ori.”, she pat the ground next to her. Ori turned away from her and nuzzled to Shiro. The other chocobo didn’t seem too fond of this. Shiro got up, walked a few yalms away and laid down again. Sun’ri read Ori’s expression as puzzled. Sounds right, up until now, everyone who has met Ori thought she was the cutest chocobo, she’s not used to a rejection like this. She, however, was not about to give up, Ori got up and went to lay down next to Shiro again, who this time looked simply annoyed, but didn’t get up anymore. “Stubborn chocobo,” Renjeon chuckled, “I can see who she gets it from.” Sun’ri frowned. “And what is that supposed to mean?” “That you’re stubborn.” he wiggled his shoulders, trying to find a better position and closed his eyes. “It can become your strength if you use it wisely.” “Or it will get me killed, that’s what my father says.” Renjeon smiled, his eyes still closed, “I can see that. It can go both ways, really. Oh, and when you are done pretending you are not cold, this blanket can cover both of us. Try not to wake me up. Good night.” Sun’ri looked into the fire. The cold started to creep in from her back. She tried to fall asleep for what must have been hours. The chocobos were cuddled together, their bodies slowly rising in unison, Shiro even put his head on Ori’s back. Sun’ri smiled at the sight of them. However cute the scene was, it could not warm her up enough. She remembered the years they spent in Coerthas, that memory also didn’t warm her up. She got up and silently tip toed towards Renjeon, she sat down next to him and leaned against the tree. Sun’ri jumped as he moved and threw one half of the blanket over her, his eyes still closed. “This is one of the cases where the stubbornness doesn’t do you any favors.” he mumbled and crossed his arms under the blanket. Sun’ri did the same and nuzzled into the blanket. It smelled nice and clean at least. She couldn’t hold her eyes open anymore and fell into restless sleep. Sun’ri dreamed about many things, most of them were nightmares. The last one, where Ori fell from a cliff, made her awake with a tear running down her cheek. The little sky that was visible through the leaves was still inky black. Renjeon was not next to her and Shiro was awake, he was still cuddled with Ori but his eyes were open, staring into the dark forest. Sun’ri followed his gaze, but couldn’t see anything, she considered getting up, when Renjeon walked back into the light of the campfire with a handful of wood. He sat back at the tree, threw some sticks into the flames, poked them around and put his half of the blanket on him. Sun’ri had trouble falling asleep after this. Every time her head lulled forward it woke her up. Renjeon sighed, took his arm from under the blanket, put it on the side of her head and pulled it on his shoulder. Sun’ri let out a protest humming sound. “Just sleep and gods, just stop wiggling.”, he put the arm back under the blanket. Sun’ri fell asleep immediately, her nightmares continued, this time she only wished she would wake up. ————————————————————————– To be continued ;)

[saskiel]

I swear I did not forget! :D I just wanted to drop this a bit later and then got busy with the pupper, whopsie :D

Thank you @olliya for the tag, but uff, 5 things that I like about myself sounds like a real tough cookie o.o I remember thinking about this when I first saw the tag and was instantly like “welp, this is probably gonna be impossible” XD

I think that I am fairly likable person in quite a few aspects, I simply don’t think of them as likable myself. And some things which I genuinely like about myself are also double-edged swords, so I both like and dislike the given thing..

But here is my list. Kinda, I guess. Ugh :D

Compassion and empathy. I am a rather sensitive person and even a very little can bring forward strong emotions for me. Both good and bad ones.

Maturity. I know that I still have waaaaays to go to be truly mature, but when I look to the girl I used to be 10 years ago, I am happy about the progress I made and I like the person that I am now, well for the most parts I guess xD

My eyes. Probably (lol, not probably but for sure) the only physical feature that I can safely say that I like is my eyes, even though they can be pretty messed up from all the imflammations that I keep having and they are shortsighted, but I like them anyway!

Humbleness. I am not the most humble person to ever roam the Earth, but I don’t take many things for granted and express my thanks where there are due whenever I get the chance, even if I know that the other people see it as given, I want them to know that I don’t and I appreciate it.

Being the dedicated healer in dnd. Yes, I’ve spent the past 15 minutes thinking of something and I honestly can’t xD So this is an as good point as any xP Because it was kinda getting sad xD

This was a bit of torture for me, rofl xD So I am not gonna tag anyone specifically, however, if you fancy this game and decide to peer inside your soul - tag me, I’d love to read what you feel like is a good quality of yours ^^

5 things I like about myself -tag game

Thanks @tuliharja for tagging me!

This is a really interesting game. I’ll try differentiating between things I “like” about myself vs the ones I’m “proud of”, i.e. the non-earned, intrinsic qualities vs achievements or things I successfully worked on. What a thought-provoking exercise :)

1. How stubborn I am. When I want something (and it helps that “wanting” happens very rarely) I never, ever give up.

2. That I stayed child-like in many aspects, especially when it comes to creating and not going mainstream about that whole adulting thing

3. That I am able to experience very strong emotions.

2. That my body is physically strong and capable, and I am in many aspects at the top of my physical performance even if compared to my younger years. (ok that might partially fall into the category of “earned” qualities)

5. That I have a good hand for children and small animals :)

Recently those tag games were meeting dead end with me. So this time I’ll tag: @yangssunglasses @yomi-gaeru @rhearenee-magane @sarcastic-mommy @saskiel

[saskiel]

#3: lost

After the final battle

Her heart…

            Tortured.

Her body…

            Broken.

Her memories…

            Lost.

The dying gasp...

            Was hers.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Man, I’ve always wished I could write poetry. But I just cannot xD This is as close as I can get to something that at least visually looks a bit like a poem. Making rhymes is completely out of question for me.

[saskiel]

So, the Final Fantasy XIV writing month has started... And I wanted to be way more active during it, but last Wednesday we picked up our puppy at the airport! And he has been keeping us very occupied xD His name is Loki and he is Galgo Español.

He is a rescue puppy, although we were very fortunate because the puppies and the mom were given by the galguero straight to the shelter. They’ve never been on the street and didn't experience the harsh training that the galgos usually go through in order to make them prized hunters.

As of right now, he is four months old, he is learning not to pee in the house and sleeps most of the day when he’s not outside. He loathes rain and will do anything for a treat :D We take him out for a short walk every two hours, although there are times where he will pee the second his paws touch the grass and then he will literally try to drag us back home so that he can sleep in his fluffy bed xD

We both love him super much <3 But he is also keeping us busy as we try to teach him basic commands - in a language that he has never heard nonetheless, lol.

Hopefully, I will be able to write some more, because the prompts for the writing event have been super amazing so far and I have ideas!!

[saskiel]

#1: voracious

It has been two months since you were able to return from the First back to the Source. But you found yourself coming back more often than you were willing to admit. To see your friends, help them find a way back - you’d say to anyone who would ask you. And while that was true, you knew that there was something else drawing you back, time after time after time. Or rather someone.

That someone would always be there when you’d cross through the portal, no matter the time of the day as if he was waiting for you. You would greet each other, exchange a few sentences and then you’d go on your way for the day before you’d meet for a meal together.

For whatever bizarre reason, traveling to First in this way always left you completely ravenous. When you first shared this with the Exarch, he invited you to dinner. And after that, it became your thing.

You stepped through the portal and shivered a bit in the chilly air of the crystal tower, your clothes soaked.

“I take there was a down-pour on the Source?” the Exarch asks you with a smile, walking in the room as soon as your feet touch the floor.

“It came out of nowhere, there was no rain predicted, if I knew I’d have gone sooner, but nope,” you manage to squeeze out, unhappy. You promised Alisaie to meet her on this day and so you walk straight to the door.

“I’ll see you in a few hours, as usual?”

Exarch’s uncertain voice stops you in your tracks before you glance back, some of the bitterness vanishing from your face. “Yes, I shall be there,” you say with a smile, enjoying the way his ears perk up with your confirmation.

***

When you walk into the private dining room later that evening, the table is already full of delicious-looking food. The Exarch is sitting in a chair facing the entrance, but his gaze turns down to a book that he’s currently reading.

You sit opposite of him, reaching for a plate to put your dinner on. You spend some time in a comfortable silence as you start eating.

“Did you had a pleasant day with Alisaie?” He asks you, only half paying attention as his eyes still skim across the words and diagrams that you caught a glimpse of earlier.

His question makes you look at him, the piece of roasted popoto forgotten half-way to your mouth.

You don’t recall telling him where you were headed today. You glance to your side, where you know the main room with the portal is. You’ve seen how he can conjure up images of the current happenings. Slowly, you turn your head back to his unsuspecting figure.

“Are you spying on me, Exarch?” Your voice holds a certain edge to it, making your companion gasp ever so slightly.

“Aaah, no, of course, I wouldn’t, I- Lyna told me where you were heading,” with his nervous chuckle, you can tell he is lying as he is scratching himself behind one ear, not really meeting your eyes.

Even without the power of the Echo, you can imagine him checking in on you throughout the day. For a moment, it makes you happy. That there is someone who cares about you this much.

Just as much as you care about him.

But then you remember all the nights here at the First, when you were lonely in your room and decided to take some of your worries away with self-pleasure. Was he watching back then? That thought starts a fire in you. A pleasant one, as it spreads from your stomach downwards, giving you thoughts more delicious than the food you’ve just consumed.

You stand up and prowl your way to Exarch. His eyes are fixated on your form, seemingly incapable of moving away. Taking the book out of his limp hands, you lay it on the table as you move to straddle the man. His arms twitch as if he wanted to hold you, but then he casts his gaze down in a shy gesture.

“Whatever am I going to do with you, G’raha Tia,” intertwining your fingers in his hair, you make him look back to you before you kiss the hopeful expression out of his face.

Sometime during your kissing, he places his palms, one warm and one cold, on your back, drawing you closer. You only break the connection when you need some air in your lungs.

“You are voracious,” he whispers, making it sound like a promise of things to come.

[saskiel]

#2: bargain

note: AU inspired by the prohibition era in the USA.

Tataru was rushing down the stairs to the underground bar, hidden from sight. She had vital information that the gang needed to know right away before they would put their plan to the motion. When she finally opened the door, her breathing was erratic but she made it to the table where the Scions were gathered. All eyes shifted to her as she wheezed for air, putting one finger up in an indication to give her a moment.

“What is it, sugar?” Y’Shtola asked her, handing her half-empty beer.

Tataru refused the glass, taking a few deep breaths. “The Ascians know where we will be moving the shipment tonight, I’ve overheard them talking about finally finishing us!”

“That’s bloody brilliant,” Thancred’s fist hit the table, shaking the contents of the multiple drinks. “If we don’t move the moonshine and the guns, the boss will be furious. And when she’s furious, it will be our end anyway!”

The voices started raising one over another as everyone tried to think of a solution, or even just lamented at their dire situation. They were just in mids of debating who would be the messenger to Hydaelyn, when the door opened again, bringing in an unlikely visitor. Three sets of barrels pointed at him immediately, Emet-Selch simply raised his hands, a smirk on his face.

“Look what the cat dragged in, here for your execution, ey?” Papylamo’s eyes narrowed to slits as he held his gun steadily.

The second in command for the Ascians only laughed, stopping a good few feet from the table, hands still in the air. “The contrary, I believe. I am here to save your precious plan which is about to be ruined,” he left the sentence open, brushing an imaginary piece of dust from his shoulder.

“Keep talking and maybe we won’t put a bullet through your brain.”

“Well, I would be willing to give my men a different assignment for tonight - a false lead, if you will. So that you can do whatever you wanted in the docks, under the veil of the night,” he sighed, before lightly shaking his hands. “May I lower these now or are you still fully set on shooting me on the spot?”

All the weapons were slowly lowered, Thancred being the last to do so. While others holstered their guns, he left it plain on the table, sending a glare to the other man after seeing his eye-roll.

In hushed tones, the Scions turned to each other.

“This could really save our necks, folks.”

“I do not want any pity offers from that rat-man!”

“Thancred, think with your head for once instead of your arse. Do you want the boss to know that we failed to deliver, losing her money a third time in a row now?”

While they bickered, two pairs of eyes sought each other. Emet-Selch was intently watching the only woman at the table who stayed silent throughout the whole rapid-fire exchange. Her face was impenetrable as always, making him snort softly to himself.

“Alright, you twat, what do you want in return?”

“Mister Waters, I am not even worthy of such an honor,” the Ascian bowed mockingly to the short-tempered man. Y’shtola and Papylamo reached for Thancred’s arms before he had the time to do anything stupid. Clearly unperturbed, Emet-Selch continued. “I ask that the Hero of Scions accompany me for dinner. I shall return her to you unharmed tomorrow after you’ve run your little errand,” he points to the quiet woman.

Suddenly, all the friction at the table ceased. They were silent for a while before the first of the uncertain voices started agreeing with giving her up, just for the night. Their reasons along the lines of “well, it would really help us” and “we don’t really have a chance” or even “I don’t feel good about this, but…”.

Finally, the woman in questions exhaled loudly and stood up.

“Fine. Do I have your word that I will be free to leave whenever I want to, as long as it is after midnight? The agreement was for tonight only, correct?”

“But of course, my dear. If that is what you wish,” the devilish grin on his face made Tataru take a step back, suddenly afraid about sending one of theirs to his lair.

“Excellent. Let me settle the plans and I will meet you outside in a few minutes.”

***

The first birds already started their chirping of the upcoming morning, when the name of the second in command of Zordiarc tumbled down the lips of the Hero of Hydaelyn. She gripped his forearm as he brought her over the edge for the numerous time this night, the sheets crumpled around them as they held onto each other.

“What a bargain… If only they knew you were the canary who sang a song to my troops,” he grinned before kissing her passionately. “And all that just to be with me,” he traced a finger down her face in a loving gesture.

She flipped them with ease, enjoying the way he was still filing her wholly, before she started raising up and down, making him swear profoundly.

“I wouldn’t have to, darling, if you only left his side,” she said, enjoying her slow, sensual rhythm.

“That is never gonna happen,” he grunted out, grabbing at her hips before she pried them off, refusing to go any faster.

“I know,” her words were dark but not angry. She would punish him in her own way that morning.

[saskiel]

Reblog if a fanfic has ever made you cry

[saskiel]

Broken perfection - part II

Part 1 

The celebrations took nearly a week after their victory, yet to her, it felt hollow. She would laugh with her friends, toast with strangers, but her eyes would never find the one she was looking for. With the scions bound to the First for the time being, she spent most of her days in Amaurot. She spoke with the ghosts of the city, but their conversations never held a lot of meaning. Unless she was ready to discuss the “upcoming calamity”, there wasn’t much to talk about.

She was hoping to talk to Hythlodaeus, but after the day she saw him he was nowhere to be found.

In the night, she would watch the city below from the apartment, how it stretched on the ocean floor, before falling asleep.

It has been five weeks after his defeat when she found a leather journal in the myriad of books. At first, she was hesitant to open it, feeling like an intruder on his thoughts. In the end, curiosity got the better of her. His early entries from the First made her smile, sentences like I don’t know why I am keeping this bloody thing or This is a waste of time, I could already be sleeping quite common. He also talked about the plans with Vauthry. She imagined that not that long ago, her whole body would tremble with rage, earning for his demise. But she was no longer that incomplete version of herself and while his words still didn’t make her happy, she understood them.

Her heart stilled when she reached an entry from a day shortly after her arrival.

I saw her today. At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. When she danced across the battlefield, striking down one sin-eater after another, it almost made me march straight to her and take her away. That’s before I noticed  Hydaelyn’s “blessing” all over her soul. The poor thing is broken and has to deal with such a burden, making it flicker like mad. Even with her here, my plans need to stay the same, the goal is almost within my reach. I shall keep an eye on her, though.

Emet knew. Right from the start, he knew who she was and he let her hate him. If only he told her. But would she believe him?

Her presence continues to perplex me. There are moments when her soul seems to start filling in the cracks after the split, but then it stops. In all the history I’ve never seen anything like this happening. But then again, she always was special. To keep her close, I’ve offered the scions my co-operation. After all, it doesn’t matter what they do, I can always start anew after I deal with them. They should be grateful to have her with them. Fools. If it weren’t for that wretched Hydaelyn.

Her eyes were rushing over the words, feeling a bit closer to him, even if it was just a fleeting illusion. It was all that she had. This diary and the city he made.

**

After averting the calamity, the lives of all scions became calmer, for the time. With no big threat on the horizon, they all got to focus on themselves. Which wasn’t always a good thing.

“There’s something… different about you now,” Y’Shtola said as her milky eyes focused on the warrior of light.

It was one of the regular meetings that they decided on. Currently, they were sitting in the Crystarium, each nursing a goblet of their chosen poison, all of them thinking the same. That there is nothing to discuss. Nothing, until now, it would seem. Ryne turned her head towards the hero, her eyes observing things invisible to the rest.

“I don’t see anything wrong with her,” the younger girl shook her head.

Y’Shtola tapped her fingers on the wooden surface of the round table. “Tell me, do you feel any different?”

“If you mean tired of these meaningless meetings, then yes,” the warrior remarked.

The thaumaturgist narrowed her eyes, clicking her tongue in evident displeasure, but stayed silent.

The hero sighed deeply. Now that all heads were turned in her direction, she saw no point in staying here if she was to be the new hot topic. The chair scraped on the floor as she stood up, announcing she was going home.

“That city is not your home,” Thancred said. Ryne cast him a glance, begging him not to press the matter, but he ignored her. “You’ve been spending days after days there, doing Twelve knows what. Why? Why do you dwell on that ascians dead so much?!”

The room held their breath as they saw her stop, the hand that was already on the handle falling to her side.

“You would dare question my loss? I did what you asked me to,” turning around, there was a fury written on her face, “I carry their blood on my hands. Those who we cared for eons ago! Yet you, Thancred, of all people, think you can tell me what I should feel like?!”

“That is not what he meant-”

“I don’t care what he meant or didn’t, Alphinaud! He is dead, all of them are dead but you are alive! What more do you want from me?! Haven’t I suffered enough?!” Her scream filled the space. None of the scions have ever seen such an outburst from her, so when Ryne gasped, they assumed she was taken aback by the display.

“You are free to come to Amaurot if you wish to. I will help you in your time of need. But do not presume me to be Hydaelyn’s little dog. No longer.”

When no one objected, the warrior of light took her leave.

**

“I saw it now,” Ryne said with a timid voice, looking at Y’Shtola, after they were sure the hero was out of earshot.

“What are you talking about?” It was a question that plagued all of them, yet it was Alisae who voiced it.

Ryne glanced at everyone around the table before fixating on Y’Sthola once more. The latter gave her a subtle nod.

“I am not sure how to describe it. Her aether, or her soul if you will, seems to be… older. But also not? There is a heaviness that wasn’t there before,” the girl shook her head. “It is confusing.”

“So, what are you saying, that is not her anymore?”

“It is her. Yet it isn’t,” Ryne frowned, clearly trying her best to explain what she saw.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Urianger,” Thancred spoke for the first time after raising his voice at the warrior of light.

Ryne sighed. “I don’t know how else to describe it. I am sorry.”

When they left the meeting that night, the words of the hero weighted heavy in their minds.

[saskiel]

me: *breathes*

friend: don't-

me:

friend:

me: I LOVE EMET-SELCH-

[saskiel]

I've only seen one of these discourse posts, so I don't know what all people have been saying.. But also - it's a fictional character.. If you choose to see him in a specific light because it makes you feel... Isn't that what is important? Why shit all over what makes someone else happy??

Is it that hard to: see someone's post about character they decided to view in a certain way, process it, not post your opinion about how they are wrong and just move one?

Just.. Be nice..

I for one don't really see how anyone can say that he is fake and purely just evil, but that's not the point I'm trying to make, so I am not gonna shove it down your throat..

all these emet-selch discourse posts make me wonder if i played the same game. i just saw one that claimed he was a psychopath who lacked empathy and remorse, and displayed superficial charm.

while i agree with the rest of the post’s points because hey, guess what, he’s a bad guy, i think it’s ironic that the people claiming emet-selch fans are rewriting his character are also twisting him into something he’s not.

it’s like everyone forgot about the cutscene before mt. gulg where he explains how ascians could love and were a thriving people. it’s like everyone forgot that he literally recreated the image of amaurot leading up to its original destruction. emet-selch didn’t have to go that hard, but he did because he missed home and his people.

doesn’t sound like someone lacking empathy, does it?

and then there’s the subject of him being superficial - again, i have to call on the cutscene before mt. gulg.

why open up to someone like this at all if you didn’t have an iota of trust in them? in fact he believes in you so much that he sticks around the entire campaign and is rightfully pissed when you let him down. i’m of the opinion that if you don’t think emet-selch is being genuine in this cutscene, you’re projecting hard.

anyway, it’s 8:30am and i have a meeting to attend. i’m just tired of seeing all these posts demonizing others for sympathizing with emet-selch (who is a sympathetic character, mind you) when literally no one says anything about zenos fuckers lmao.

[saskiel]

Sooo... I have opened submissions on my page! :D I was told that that is what all the hip people are doing, so - I’ve decided to give it a shot, lol... Please, feel free to use it! Or don’t, that’s fine too :P

[saskiel]

After he was gone, was there anything left for her...?

[saskiel]

The fluff you have been writing regarding Emet-Selch gives me fucking life. I was wondering if I could request more fluff please. There was a HC floating around regarding the garleans third eye and like what ever was touching it made the garleans focuse souly on that.Idk if it's not to much trouble I kinda wanna know how Emet would react to the WoL resting their forehead on his as well as his third eye. Oddly I also wonder how Zenos would react. I hope this request isn't to odd lol. Thank you

Napping with his head in your lap was perhaps not the wisest of ideas if he wanted to sleep unbothered.

Your hands had quickly found their way into his hair, silken strands slipping through your fingers as you comb it back away from his face. For a while you amuse yourself with playing with his hair. Swooping it from side to side, smoothing it back with your hands, allowing it to slip from your fingers to fall against his face.

Had you any tiny hairties on you, you might make little tails or braids in his hair. The thought is enough to make you smile as you twirl the shock of white hair that was his bangs around your fingertips.

Emet sleeps through it all so far.

Your attention drifts. Fingers smoothing over the arch of his eyebrows, your gaze lingering on the pearl-like protrudence in the middle of his forehead. His third eye.

You trace circles around it, leaning over him with a soft smile. You tilt your head, staring down into his relaxed face, curious. You tap a fingertip against it, watching with rapt attention.

Emet’s eyebrow twitches, eyelashes scrunching together.

You do it again.

The same result.

You grin, dipping your head down to press your forehead against his, and then lift your head again to press a kiss there.

Emet sighs.

“…Am I simply so irresistible that you cannot help yourself?”

You strighten up to meet Emet’s sleepy eyed stare.

You shrug your shoulders, smiling bashfully. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

Emet squints up at you, reaching a gloved hand up to carress your face. “You make yourself hard to ignore, touching me so.”

You lean into his touch, laying your hand over his. “Do I?”

Emet smiles lazily, eyes wicked gold under the dark fan of his eyelashes. “Tis rather intimate, you realize. You make yourself the center of mine focus doing so. Were you craving my attention so keenly, my dear?”

You give a noncommittal grunt instead of answering, dropping your hands to cup his jaw as you lean down to kiss him upside down.

Emet laughs low in his throat, keeping you from moving away with grasping gloved hands.

He kisses you slowly, a carefully crafted passion. His lips slide against yours, soft and warm, his tongue tracing the inside of your lips in the barest hint of a tease.

You could so easily lose yourself to his expert affections, but Emet is the first to draw away.

He smirks at you smugly, pressing a finger to your lips. “Actions speak louder than words, my dear.”

You huff at him, and poke at his third eye.

Emet grunts; eyebrow twitch, eyelash scrunch. “…I would ask you not to do that.”

You blow a raspberry against the finger he has pressed to your lips. “And I would ask you to stop teasing and kiss me!”

Emet eyes you. “As you wish.”

His hand drops away to fist at your collar, drawing you in for a kiss that curls your toes.

[saskiel]

literally noone: ...

me: what if Hades was Romeo and WoL was Juliet??

Please, could someone who's a better writer do this? I will even give you closer synopsis and beta it for you xD

[saskiel]

Broken perfection

Before I even started writing The color of your soul, I started a different fic, full of my sadness over the end of 5.0 That story is not yet finished and honestly, I am not 100% if I will ever finish it... It is very angsty and it will most likely not have a fluffy happy ending... But I have decided to share it anyway, or what I have right now in any case... 

So, please, read at your own risk with this being possibly quite angsty. It’s also one huge headcanon (which will start showing in the second or third part)... Also (also, lul) I realize that the start is pretty much using the same words as the actual game, but I just really like them (and hate them with an equal passion) - but it will divert from it soon, so don’t worry.

Pairing: Emet-Selch/WoL (written in 3rd person)

It started as a whisper. Flashes of memories scattered throughout eons.

Her laughter.

His smile.

Hades’s attacks were ruthless as he fought for his people and with every blow she parried, more memories came. The rest of the heroes, called here across time and space, were oblivious to her turmoil, fighting the monstrosity in front of them. But with each moment, she saw less of that and more of the man he used to be.

“Stop,” she said, too weak for anyone to hear, too late for it to matter. The last blow was struck and he fell with a heart-wrenching scream.

She dropped to her knees as the transporting spell reversed, returning the adventurers to their own worlds where they were plucked from to save the First, as well as the Source. Suddenly, she was alone. With barely any time to process what just happened, his voice came from the darkness once more.

“I…will…not…yield,

“Should I surrender this fight, what will become of it all?

“What will become of our triumphs? Our hopes? Our… our despair?

“What of this anguish which yet burns in my breast even after the passing of eons?

“No, no, no! I will not let it all be for naught!”

She watched him manifest again, her body unmoving on the ornate floor as his claws neared. There was a strange peace in her. She gave herself up once for them and she wasn’t afraid to do it again. A small smile appeared on her lips as she closed her eyes.

But then the sky shattered.

Scions came. They came to save her, save their world. Her mind was full of memories of old, but also new ones. She had friends here, people who were depending on her to do the right thing. Rising again, she heard Urianger, beckoning her to strike.

Reaching up, she pulled the gleaming battle-axe out of thin air. The whole world went dark, the weapon she wielded seemingly the only light in the existence.

“Forgive me, my love,” she sent the axe flying.

**

Next time she dared to open her eyes, she saw Emet-Selch standing in front of her, a gaping hole in his torso. Taking off the hood, he moved those few steps to reach her.

“Remember,” he said, raising his arm to wipe the tear running down her face, the intimate gesture only making her crying worse, “remember… that we once lived.”

She wanted to tell him so much. The words were on the tip of her tongue, yet she barely managed to nod. The bitter-sweet smile made her wish they had more time.

When his body shattered, she could only watch the fragments of his existence disperse into the air.

After the last piece faded away, she turned around to the Scions. They were grunting as they stood up, one by one.

“I feel like I will have a headache for weeks,” Thancred said, rubbing his head.

“Tell me about it,” the twins said at the same time, making the rest of the group smile even through the discomfort before they noticed her standing there.

“Are you alright? That hit of yours must have packed a real punch,” Y’Shtola looked around, the lack of ascian’s body not lost on her.

There was a concern on their faces, as well as relief. They did it, again. Saved the day, saved the world. Together they stopped the rejoining from happening, granting life to countless people both on the Source and the First. What everybody wished for, right? So why wasn’t she happy.

“Of course, just a bit tired, you needn’t worry about me,” the hero said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. If they noticed, they didn’t say anything about it.

“Mayhap it’s for the best if we rest in the city before leaving?” Alphinaud offered, only for his sister to snicker something about him not wanting to swim back to the shore.

Eventually, the all agreed that resting within the peaceful city for the night wouldn’t do any harm and the retreated to Amaurot.

**

That night, the warrior of light did not sleep. Claiming she needed some air, she slipped out into the city, walking its wide streets. This really was the perfect replica, Emet didn’t forget a single tree, a single patch of lush grass. Her hand was touching the stone of the building, feeling the smoothed out surface beneath her fingertips. But the humid breeze wasn’t right and looking up to the watery sky ruined any semblance of this actually being true. The air dome above the city held, even though she didn’t need it. Still, she was happy for it. This place didn’t deserve to be so deep below.

Without realizing it, her feet carried her on a familiar route. Only when the voice of the elevator started talking did she notice where she was. “Welcome back, my lady. Do you wish to retire home for the night?”

Home.

“I-…Yes, please. Take me up,” she said as she waited for the magic to take its place and lift her to the top floor.

The door slid open, revealing a modest apartment. If she didn’t know otherwise, she would have said that the time itself stopped in here. But this was nothing more than a replica of a memory of a devoted man. She walked across the living room, its window showing the many lanterns of the gleaming city below. Her steps lead her to the bedroom they once shared.

Her heart sank once she looked around. This is where Emet-Selch slept for the past years, maybe decades. The blanket wasn’t folded, unsurprisingly. He always had places to be, something to do, often leaving the fabric as it was after he got up. The walls were lined with books - some she recognized, others she didn’t.

Just standing in a space which he occupied not long ago was hard enough. But it was a picture of her face, her current face, that broke her. The sun was reflected in her eyes and a smile was adorning her lips, capturing a happy moment that she didn’t recall. She never saw herself like this, she doubted anyone did. Anyone but him.

Walking to the bed, smaller now to fit his body better, she buried herself into the blankets. They were cold.

“Why did you leave me here, alone.”

That night, the warrior of light cried herself to sleep.