sayitwithurheart - Tumblr blog

[sayitwithurheart]

Fear and inaction will cost you

[sayitwithurheart]

After Unraveling

I love the way we love

Caressing hands with fingertips

The way a forehead kiss can heal me

Sweet, soft breaths against my collarbones

Smiles in kisses

My lips feeding yours

Your warmth against mine

Your skin remembering where my hands were last

Elated when I breathe you in

Enchanted by your glow

Then your eyes smile

Oh, those yellow jaspers

Honeycomb and ambers gazing

Your mouth follows

Then a whisper

A crystal upon your cheek

So softly

I know

Tender rains

Dew on orchid petals

Silken lillies

Bountiful bouquets

How they glisten after rainbows

[sayitwithurheart]

There's a daddy shaped hole

Where you used to be

I see every part of you

When I look at me

Losing you so young

Took half of my heart

You never let me down

But now we're far apart

We were just getting started

And then you were gone

Now I only have memories

And the time away is long

I still carry you in my heart

I still hold you dear

So much I never got to experience with you

Sometimes it brings me to tears

I hope wherever you are

You are watching over me

You were all I ever wanted

Just a little girl still needing her Daddy

[sayitwithurheart]

In the midst of turmoil, somehow my hand found yours

In the darkness that was shrouding my view

Somehow I found you

You felt the beat of my heart and it connected with yours

Singing a song that brightened my world

A Beacon to shine through

An illuminating beam of magnificent light

Right down to the core of where the heavy pain sits in my chest

You rescue me daily with your love

With the words of life you speak into my soul

For this, I remain forever grateful

Forever yours

Forever loving you for the way that you love me

[sayitwithurheart]

Smile (2003)

Smile for the birds, smile for the bees

If not for Mother Nature smile for me

Smile for the trees that sway in the breeze

If not for Mother Nature smile for me

Smile for the flowers that come from April showers

If not for Mother Nature Smile for me

Smile for me

Smile for the bees

Smile

For every good thing

[sayitwithurheart]

Depression suffocates self love

[sayitwithurheart]

Hold On

Hold on to me

In my darkest days

In my longing for the pain to stop

Hold on to me

When the light fades from my eyes

And I can't see you through the tears

I will reach for you

Even when afraid

Even when shattered

I will reach to find you through the darkness

To feel the touch that revives me

Warm as a sun ray on flesh

To find my way home

My way back to your arms

Where I know I will find rest

[sayitwithurheart]

Violet, Everlasting

As the first notes of John Coltrane's 'While My Lady Sleeps' plays, she does

And I watch her

The first notes of the song of my heart plays in tune with Trane's sax

I read her poetry until she fell asleep

under the cool breeze of a crisp February night

Blankets piled over her like cumulonimbus clouds

She rolls over and wraps her arms around me

A soft sigh of contentment

She snores softly

Being the sole reason for my heartbeat

[sayitwithurheart]

Locket

You are the only thing I can think about even when I'm with you

You are the only thing I can write about

And I wonder does that make me selfish

That all I want to do is immortalize you through paper and ink

To keep you forever

Even when you're not in my arms

To have you etched into every crevice of my brain

To always have the memory

Of your eyes

The curl of your lips

The curve of your body

The softness of your hands

The beauty of your mind

How effortless it is to love one another

So much so that the outside world

Ceases to be when I'm holding you

Such is fate that I am allowed your presence

Blessed by your splendor

I sing a song of gratitude

I dance a dance of enchantment

For nothing is more precious than this gift of love you have given me

A keepsake that I hold so dear

A love that illuminates any darkness that dares to creep into my heart

For fear

For hate

There is no room

Only joy and bliss

To share the space in my heart

Right next to you

[sayitwithurheart]

In a Body

It was always

"I'd like to see you in this"

Or

"Why do you always wear that?"

Or

"You should shave your legs sometimes"

There was a time when I didn't feel good enough

When I didn't feel like I was enough

For you

That this amalgamation of feminine and masculine

Was too much

Contained in a body that has curves

That when the masculine in me ruled you wanted what I was not in the mood to give

You wanted what I did not have the spoons for

My comfort aside

Though I was woman I was never traditional

Never one for gender roles

And yet you wanted what I perceived to be a housewife

I was never that

Never obedient

Or the good woman

I broke rules

I made my femininity my own

Made it what I saw fit even if there was a splash of masculinity as a side dish

Complimentary

But it was mine to claim

Something no man could define for me

It was mine and mine alone

To reclaim

Perform

To have it be what I wanted

And it was not enough

Never enough for the Male view

I guess you forgot

I don't possess femininity

For you

I possess it

For me

My girl friends

My nieces

And my future daughters

Grand daughters

Great great grand daughters

For them to reclaim what is theirs only by birthright

A rite of passage

What is viewed as a curse

A burden

Is but a privilege

Bestowed on only those worthy

To bear the weight of greatness

To exceed all expectations

To conquer

With our boots on the neck of those who doubted our right to exist

As is

[sayitwithurheart]

If You Confess

I talked to God today

Though I didn't remember how

I needed to tell him to watch over you

With tears in my eyes and a croaky and shakey voice

I asked him to strengthen you and to keep you whole always

It's been a long time since we talked

And it's been a long time since he's answered

And I don't remember the last thing I said to him

But I needed him to see you for me

Needed him to know the blessing he gave me when he sent you

How remarkable it is to love one made in his perfect image

I told him to give me every hurt you feel

Every tear you shed

I asked him to help me be your lighthouse in the storm

Your warm embrace

Your crying shoulder

Your peace

Never so much did I mean the words I spoke to him about you

And never so much have I loved enough to speak them

[sayitwithurheart]

Recovery

They say it takes about 7 years to fully regenerate all the cells of the human body

This means I'm almost on my way to my second body that you will never have touched

For the one stolen so long ago I began to feel was not my own

Every part had your seal of shame on it

And I gave you the power to bestow that shame upon me

But now I reclaim that body that I shrouded in fear so long ago

As a testament to the survivor that lives now

Unafraid

Unashamed

Untouched

Loved and whole and free from the bondage of blaming myself for your monstrous actions

I was always whole

Even when you tried to shatter me

This body is free to be

To love, to dance, to move, like fluid, liberated

This is what surviving looks like

My body is my own to cherish and to choose

Whom I will grace with this blessing

[sayitwithurheart]

Butterfly Kisses

I awakened from a dream last night

Where all I could see was you

Awashed in the sun light that cascaded softly over your curves

And flesh abundant

Warm like home

You breathed lightly, steadily

Entangled in the sheets that lie over you

Just above the small of your back

I admire the beauty before me

Just existing as is

No expectations

I lay my head against the nape of your neck

And breathe you in

I caress the tresses and curls of your soft hair

You yourself are a dream

A vision of a picturesque portrait of goddess and woman wrapped up in a bow that embodies pure art

Proof of divinity

Created by a being that loves purely

And without condition

And this dream of you so sweet

To make my heart

Soar like the bluebird

Etched into you

I want nothing more than to dream of you until gray hairs play at the edges of our temples

Until wrinkles peek around the corners of our eyes and lips

I wish to see that smile rising just like the morning sun

Brighter even

Illuminating my whole word

To bring me the purest light

Ousting any darkness that may live within me

To forever hold the softest hands against an old cheek

Worn with age and experience and so many moments of laughter

And pain, perhaps

A dream I know

Will someday be reality

To be always in the arms that welcome

All the beautiful and ugly parts of me

The arms that will hold me in all times of trouble

In all times of triumph

And my arms will be that same solace for you

The same warmth of home

Inviting you to rest always

When you bring me your pain

And weariness

These arms will melt it all away

As I breathe into graying locks of your hair

And wake from the dream

Into the reality of all of you

[sayitwithurheart]

Vows

Whatever comes

I'll keep you safe in my arms

Monsters have no place

In the light of our love

[sayitwithurheart]

Lost & Found

You knew me once before

I was a distant memory then

Lost in a toxic wasteland

Fighting my way through the smoke and ash

I emerged from the other side

Whole

But hurt and healing

Giving my hands away to others who needed them

You came back to me

The same way you found me then

And now I give you these hands

Hoping that you will be the one

Always keeping them warm

Against your beating heart

[sayitwithurheart]

Pinky Promise

I made a promise

To take care of your heart

Everyday I choose

To keep it

[sayitwithurheart]

Magnum Opus

You send me floating on your rhythms and passion

Like the notes of a song penned just for me

How well your instrument plays those notes

How expertly you read the notes on my pages

The compliment and accompaniment

Of this ebb and flow through your musical interpretation

Sing this song forever

Serenade me in love always

Take with you the passionate rhythms and the notes in which our love lives

Pieces of me to have in my absence

This song you shall always remember

Sing a song of us

While you send me

Floating