scandaliz-comes-home

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The Grand Finale

The book has come to an end. There is no hope of making amends, there is no looking back. I made up my mind and that is a friendship I would never want to revisit. I wish them both well, I realized that we were broken way before that and I was holding on to the shattered pieces hoping to fix what was no longer there. We were so used to each other the thought of being away from each other terrified us. That's no excuse to how he handled the situation and how she manipulated the situation (though he swears she did no such thing🙄🙄). All I know is that in the end I did waste time but I gotta make the best of my time now, I can't change my mistakes.

I feel different and on a better path. I am not 100 yet but I will get there. Now I look forward to spending times with people who truly value me 😍🌹🦋

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“You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her. Because you don’t destroy people you love.”

— Grey’s Anatomy

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I fucking hate you and for everything you made me feel. I fuxking hate that you still matter to me. I’m so infuriated by everything.

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After having a great day together she realized that it was only a day, perhaps the last day together they will have. Maybe their happiness had run its course and it was time to move on.

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Amigos no hacen el amor. Time to let go.

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He texted an apology. Why...I don’t know but it only threw me off course. I need to get back on track.

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The urge needs to die down. The need to know is eating at me. Just want to know he is okay. Why does my heart not listen to my brain.

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Dear heart,

Please stop for tonight with missing him. I don’t want to think about him anymore.

Love,

The brain

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I try to be indifferent but it’s the little things that get to me. I love with an intensity of a thousand suns and will continue to love in that way till the day I die. So hearing him say that he felt unloved hurt because i know I loved him like no other. I still have love for him but it’s the same anymore and day by day it changed. I know he will still have a special place in my heart as does my first bf but things won’t be the same, the love and friendship have been ruined by actions and lies. We met 6 years ago and became instant friends now it feels like we are strangers...no matter what I will continue to trust people the way I did because I can’t let the actions of individuals with skewed moral compasses ruin my outlook of life. They can take all they want but my happiness will not be one of them anymore. No matter what he says I know she has some fault in what happened and someone who claims to be your friend does not do the things she continued to do for months. So much anger and sadness trapped in me, all looking for an escape but I know I will find it. I’ll find a way to release it all and get back to a better mind set. One day at a time and I will get there.

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“Love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.”

— Unknown

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“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

— Ian Thomas

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“I lost myself trying to please everyone else. Now I’m losing everyone while I’m finding myself.”

— Unknown

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The second one for now

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You can say you are done crying only to cry again the next day. It’s final, we are not talking for a good while...he is in love with someone else. He hopes that their relationship can begin someday. All I can do is forget him and move on with my life but this sucks more than our break up...To know he has hopes for something new makes me feel so used this last month. I shouldn’t feel this way. Taking it one day at a time until I feel like myself again. Right now I am a shell of the woman I am...i just want to be sad for bit...reminisce on all the good memories and realize that’s it’s all over.