scardinandocitheclown

[scardinandocitheclown]

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[scardinandocitheclown]

raising my son on a strict media diet of Portal, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Mythbusters in an attempt to resurrect the extinct species Pre-Gamergate Smug Nerd Boy

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shoutout to the time in 2021 I was having scary seizurelike episodes that sent me to the neurologist, after having barely slept all week due to being a nervous wreck over my symptoms and shit.

when I sat down to describe what I was going through to the (young, very soft spoken) phys assistant taking my notes I started audibly almost crying . The whole time he’s furiously working on a tablet thing that I assumed he was writing my symptoms down on

in the midst of me having a mild nervous breakdown during my monologue he slowly turns the tablet to me after closing whatever program he had open and just fuckin stare-smiles at me all placidly til I notice the wallpaper the laptop is set to— a lovingly decorated collage of Lord Farquaad from Shrek

once I noticed I stopped dead in my tracks and we sat there staring at another for a solid minute til I broke down wheeze laughing, upon which he picked up the tablet and scurried off wordlessly. I just sat there dumbfounded til the doc showed up. 10/10 doctor experience ngl

I didn’t own a phone at the time to get any proof so this my best artistic recreation

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Apple TV Murderbot + Text posts

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it's been a bad year for essential workers, mental health, small businesses and probably many of the people reading this, but it's been a great year for hot takes

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STAY CALM. IT'LL BE OKAY. YOU HAVE MY WORD.

dr mensah you move me

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every time i see those posts like ‘what food from a show did YOU always wanna try’ i go lol none? but i just remembered im a liar

i always wanted the fucking soup brock made in the pokemon anime

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Annoying that dairy products are demonized as Unnatural and Disgusting when it's actually kinda neat that humans figured out a way to fulfill omnivorous nutritional requirements without killing any animals (and populations historically dependent on dairy even evolved lactase persistence!). This is biopunk to me

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literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro

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imagine if they gendered you from birth and then assigned you a list of interests and personality traits even if that felt horrifically untrue for you and you hated when people did that for as long as you could remember but every time you complained about it people got confused

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Fuck you *migrates to another environment and evolves entirely new characteristics over thousands of years*

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do you think fish get cold in the winter?

not anymore