scionsurvivalguide

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paladin/fighter ac: my sheilds and plated armor keep me safe from harm, though occasionally things slip through

race based ac: my natural skin is tough and hard for many things to pierce

caster ac: my magic has been useful in creating wards that deflect many a blade and arrow

rogue/monk ac: my finely developed agility lets me step clear of many attacks

barbarian ac: I CAN BREAK A KNIFE ON MY PECS SO DON"T FUCK WITH ME

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I’m not a drunkard. I’m a functioning alcoholic. There’s a difference.

The drunk monk

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halfling rogue: So we’re just going in blind?

elf fighter: I have darkvision!

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fgfdgfgfgfh

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If you won’t talk to your kids about Dungeons & Dragons… who will?

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When your Players roll bad perception checks:

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The What Raptor

Teri, mishearing “The Quiet Rider”

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Hot concept: Tieflings who are married don’t wear rings on their fingers. I imagine many anti-tief religions are like ‘NO YOU CANT DO THAT MEH MEH MEEEHH’ So they wear their marriage bands elsewhere.

They are custom fitted with a band around one of their horns so their beloved is ‘always on their mind.’ There’s rarely precious jewels embedded-which makes it strange to see very elaborately dressed tieflings wear something that looks so plain-it’s because their beloved is suppose to be the jewel. The bands are usually kept very well cleaned and polished because a neglected looking band is sort of a ‘nudge nudge-that guy doesn’t care much about his s/o.’ kind of thing.

Simple patterns are often very acceptable or engraved names.

Poly tieflings will often have a band on each horn and are ornately engraved to symbolize their partners.

Tieflings who are widowed and remarry keep the bands on because removing it would be a sign of not thinking about their dearly departed anymore and would be an insult to the spirits.

Tieflings who divorce usually have to seek out a Black Smith to get these removed. And then proceed to publically throw the band at their Ex-which could hurt because it would be a fairly big piece of metal.

Horrifyingly enough, forced ‘divorce’ occurs in some regions and if the band can’t be removed because it takes a professional to remove it, people who just result to sawing off the horn itself-which creates the polite protocol in tiefling social culture to not ask about horns if missing.

Some Tieflings who have to hide their marriages in anti tiefling areas that are aware of the marriage practices get a bit more creative and pierce their nose with a ring finger sized band while their lover if non tiefling can wear the ring more subtley on their hand.

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Druids

“The answer to everything is Aloe-Vera

…And goodberries”

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me: *plans a session of D&D where the plot begins to thicken and the players would get drawn into more political turmoil*

players: *spends the session adopting children and playing truth or dare*

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Galavant (2015)

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OOF! OOF! how does FIFTEEN POINTS of DAMAGE TASTE?!

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i think im funny

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“yoshi is elven for rage”

— our rogue

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there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy.