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i think ,,, i'm gonna move emma back to my multi. I KNOW I KNOW i've had this blog like 2 years. but i just don't have the activity to really justify having her solo. i'm gonna keep this blog around so i have her info & the option to move her back, but for now at least ,,,, @maimedaffair <3

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People are going to tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, “No, this is who I am.” You want people to look at you differently? Make them. You want to to change things? You’re going to have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world.

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behind every gay person is a gayer, more evil gay person

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❛    take  it  easy's  my  middle  name.     i'm  really  good  at  it.       which  is  why  i'd  love  to  be  in  bed  sleeping  off  those  four  whiskey  shots  right  now.   ❜       his  concern  feels  weird  ;  kind  of  makes  her  bones  itch  in  the  stubborn  way  of  wanting  to  lash  out  &*  say  she  doesn't  need  anyone  telling  her  what  to  do.       but    . . .    she  won't  ,  because  he's  being  nice.      &*  he  restocked  the  food.       don't  bite  the  hand  that  feeds  you  ,  right  ?     so  she  hums  &*  takes  another  pancake  with  her  as  she  heads  back  upstairs  to  go  get  dressed  &*  refreshed.       once  her  hair  &*  teeth  are  brushed  ,  she  hurries  back  down  ,  finishing  buttoning  her  shirt  as  she  returns.         ❛     thanks  for  taking  the  late  shift  ,  by  the  way.    ❜

David raised an eyebrow at Emma as if to say, ‘Dude?’ Was this what parenting was like? He supposed they never got to experience Emma’s teenage phase, this could have been a part of that. If they could go back and change things, David would in a heartbeat. However, he knew as much as the rest of them they couldn’t go in the past and change their choices. They all had to make a better future and that meant getting to be the father he’d always wanted to be to his daughter Emma, even if that meant waking her up for pancakes at four am. Granted, he was on sheriffs duty schedule and he thought that she would be up too. Apparently not. “They’re not that bad. And it’s only one or two.” Maybe four, but who was counting. He waited patiently for her response and smiled once he got it. Snow may be tired of his pancakes, but it seemed he could still please Emma with them. “Bacon and tylenol coming right up. And a tall glass of orange juice, I restocked a bit on groceries the other day, so we should be good to go. That bad, huh? I told you ladies to take it easy before you went out last night.” He tsked, knowing his wife would be in the same boat as their daughter. “Go get ready then, take your time and I’ll finish up in here.”

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People seem to like them and I love making them. Here's part 4! 🥰

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❛    ow.   ❜         a  frown  pulls  at  emma's  lips  as  she  winces  ,  hand  flinching  at  the  others  insistent  jabbing  at  her  nail  bed  with  her  little  wooden  stick.       (  *  barbaric  way  of  saying  pushing  her  cuticle  back  for  a  manicure.  )       to  be  fair  ,  they're  so  thick  that  @regiinae  has  had  to  grind  them  down  &*  clip  off  excess  ,  so  emma's  fingers  are  a  little  raw.        ❛    why  does  cuticle  care  even  matter  ?  ❜

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❛   use that smug ass charm of yours to be a distraction ?   i don't know. regina's vain ---- you have that in common. woo her. ❜ her finger taps anxiously on her arm , lips pursing as she considers any other route. ❛   i'm not trained for this shit. i'm not trained for any of this ! i find people ; that's my thing. this is . . . scummy. ❜

　　　her  gaze  wanders  ;  the prosecutor’s  remains  fixed as he reclines a little further,  ankle  over  knee  and  fingers  curled  at  his right  temple. since she isn’t watching, he decides to swipe something from the desk.      “  oh,  most  certainly  is. ”      graham’s  silver pen  glides  smoothly  into  a  concealed pocket  within  astarion’s expensive  blazer.     “  but  i  cannot  hold  your  hand  today,  miss  swan  ～  i’ve  places  to  go,  people  to  see.  ”      funds  to  burn,  a  well - meaning  therapist  to  deride  and  threaten !      “  . . . what is it you would have me do, anyway ? ”

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a brow raises as she looks back to him. ❛   a bow ?   ❜ she repeats , hesitant. ❛   my , uhm . . .   ❜ MOM. ❛   my friend back home -----   ❜ she can practically feel mary margaret's wince. ❛   that's her thing. bow &* arrow. her husband's better with swords. i have more luck with guns. i don't know the first thing about shooting a bow.   ❜

He felt for Emma. She was homesick and he was trying everything he could do to get her home. But there was so much he could look into on his own. Not everyone on the Isle was literate like he was. Being the son of a Chief he was one of the few who were more educated than the rest. ❝ Think you and Eret are more alike than you think. ❞ He chuckles. That man had his whole heart and he was good to his own two little ones that came barreling into his life. He liked them.

❝ Dunno how well of a teacher I'd be when it comes to the forge. That's more Gobber's domain but he might be more than willing to take a temporary apprentice. ❞ He chuckles. After all the man kept bugging him to work constantly. But what he was working on something he could use help with. ❝ I will need an escort soon. I'll be traveling to one of the neighboring kingdoms to attend a coronation. Childhood friend. We might be able to look ways to get you home. ❞

As came with tradition. A gift for a newly appointed crown , chief etc. For this particular individual he was crafting a special bow. ❝ Might need someone to test out to make sure the bow's good. ❞ He smiles amused.

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she  doesn't  anticipate  that  katniss  would  remember  her      ------      how  many  tributes  did  emma  remember  that  were  reaped  from  twelve  that  never  made  it  home  ?         not  a  single  one.       katniss  had  been  seven  when  emma  was  called  on  stage.       she  was  just  a  face  that  didn't  come  home.       no  one  mourned  the  loss  of  the  orphan  girl.       it's  why  no  one  claimed  her  now.       not  many  survived  the  destruction  of  twelve        --        any  that  might  have  known  her  are  gone.       she's  on  her  own  here.       then  again  ,  when  has  she  ever  not  been  on  her  own  ? 

the  mention  of  peeta  brings  a  frown  to  her  lips.        no  one  deserved  the  mistreatment  snow  has  brought  upon  them  all  ,  but  peeta's  story  has  been  especially  gruesome.       she  can't  wrap  her  head  around  how  it  must  feel  for  katniss  to  witness  firsthand        ------        to  be  the  reason.        a  little  shake  of  her  head  is  given  as  emeralds  cast  down  to  the  table.       ❛    no  ,  i'm  not  going  to  try  &*  kill  you.       you'd  kill  me  before  i  could  even  attempt  it.        i've  never  fought  anyone.       didn't  even  consider  it  with  my  games.       ❜       she  pauses  ,  then  frowns  to  herself.       ❛     .  .  .  i'm  sorry  about  peeta.       not  that  i  had  anything  to  do  with  it  ----  i  just  .  .  .  that's  .  .  .        ❜       she's  never  been  good  with  comfort.

❛     my  story  -----  ❜       a  start  ,  a  pause  ,  her  mouth  closes.        she  sighs  &*  leans  back  in  her  seat  as  arms  cross.       ❛     i  grew  up  in  the  orphanage  in  twelve.       no  one  knows  where  i  came  from  ---  just  showed  up  on  the  edge  of  twelve  as  a  new  born.       nobody  claimed  me.       just  had  a  blanket  that  said  emma  on  it.       handmade.        ❜       an  odd  detail  to  her  -----  someone  cared  enough  to  make  her  an  embroidered  blanket  ,       but  not  enough  to  keep  her.       ❛    i  was  quiet  growing  up.        didn't  make  friends.        a  lot  of  the  kids  would  get  adopted  because  people  took  pity  on  them        ----        never  me.        ran  away  when  i  was  sixteen  .  .  .       well  ,  if  you  consider  just  leaving  free  housing  running  away.       started  stealing  from  the  hob.       slept  wherever  kept  my  head  dry.        ❜       not  everyone  in  twelve  had  housing.       there  was  poor  ,  then  there  was  destitute.        those  kids  were  most  likely  to  be  reaped  from  the  amount  of  times  their  names  would  be  put  in  the  drawing  for  food  -------  or  simply  killed  by  the  state  for  theft.        or   they   just     .  .  .      died   on   the   streets.        got   swept   up   by   peacekeepers.    

❛    there  was  a  boy  named  neal  who  was  like  me.       nobody  claimed  him   either.        we  fell  in  love.      ❜       her  gaze  stares  at  nothing  off  to  the  side.       ❛  i  was  sixteen.        figured  i'd  be  dead  before  twenty.       you  live  life  a  little  stupidly  when  you  have  absolutely  nothing  to  lose.        neal  was  even  more  reckless.        i  didn't  know  it  then  ,  but  he  was  working  with  the  rebellion.       sort  of      -----      he  heard  the  whisperings  of  it.        spread  them.       wanted  to  help  --  to  do  .  .  .  anything.       he  got  caught.        they  decided  his  punishment  was  me  getting  dragged  into  something  i  knew  nothing  about.     so  i  got  reaped.       ❜       her  jaw  sets.        ❛    i  got  to  the  capitol  &*  they  did  all  their  tests  &*  grooming.       found  out  i  was  pregnant.        i  wasn't  the  first  tribute  to  show  up  like  that.        sometimes  they  just  .  .  .  end  it  before  the  tribute  even  knows  they  were  pregnant  to  begin  with.       don't  tell  them  at  all.       the  guy  that  gave  me  my  deal  told  me  that.       maybe  i  wasn't  the  first  to  get  that  bargain  either.       ❜

❛     i  didn't  ask  questions  ------  there  was  no  way  i  could  keep  him.       they   could   give   him   everything   i   never   had   &*   the   safety   of   never   being   reaped.      so  i  did  what  they  told  me  to  do.        gave  no  effort  to  win  sponsors.        kept  my  mouth  shut.        ate  a  poisoned  apple.        got  airlifted  out.        got  kept  in  a  facility  until  i  had  the  kid.        got  dumped  in  the  poorer  part  of  the  capitol  &*  kept  my  head  down.        took  on  the  name  odette.       no  one  ever  cared  about  the  scrawny  kid  from  twelve.       no  one  cared  when  i  died.        ❜       she  uncrosses  her  arms  &*  absently  scratches  her  nail  gently  on  the  tabletop.       ❛  i  ended  up  here  because  the  kid  showed  up.       henry.       he's  ten  now.       said  that  he  was  joining  the  rebellion  &*  i  had  to  come  with  him.        i  couldn't  let  him  just  -------  he's  just  a  kid.        i  thought  he  was  crazy.       who  knew  he  was  right   about   thirteen  ?    ❜       emeralds  focus  on  katniss  ,  her  lips  pursing.       ❛     i'm  not  here  to  be  some  .  .  .  rebel.       i'm  here  to  watch  out  for  henry.       you  know  exactly  how  that  feels.        ❜

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐇𝐎𝐖, 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑. 𝐈𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑. 𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃, 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐈𝐓 ? for a moment, katniss has a fleeting thought that it should make her feel bad ... for looking someone who was in twelve, who knew her -- apparently, but having little recongition of it. maybe it was everything thats happened, whats going on which makes her memory shotty with things long ago. mind is focused on the now, on winning this rebellion ... on saving as many as she could, on being freed from this ever lingering sense of anxiety or dread for what happens next. ( though, in some ways, that's been her entire life. after her father died, burdock everdeen held them together & in a blink of an eye it was now up to katniss. to provide, to feed, to protect. the games, the quell, the rebellion got in the way of that & now its not just about her family. but everyone else. )

eyes continue to linger on @screwhope , their greyness not softening even the slightest. still questioning, still skeptical. the last thing they needed in thirteen was a spy.

❛ whole story. ❜ katniss replies, tone still the same. ❛ if you're goin' t'plead your case, convince us you aren't a spy, you can start there. ❜ mockingjay takes in a deep breath, hand raising from her lap to absently fidget with a pen someone had left on the table from last nights meeting. teeth want to chew on her bottom lip, an anxious or nervous habit, but she refrains. eyes lower as a thought pops into her mind: ❛ they hijacked peeta, made it look so convincin' right before he tried to kill me. ❜ guilt creeps up her throat, ❛ same could be goin' on right now. another hijacking, another chance at snow to get me out of t'way ... you gonna try t'kill me, emma ? ❜

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❛  do  you  ever  stop  working  ,  @the0dores  ?    ❜  emma's  bored  tone  is  unmistakable  as  she  hops  up  onto  the  table  near  the  press  ,  palms  pressed  into  wood  to  support  her  as  she  leans  back.   ❛    there's  a  party  tonight  ,  after  the  opera  lets  out.  just  us  urchins  ,  so  no  need  to  get  the  ink  off  your  fingers.  ❜  a  wry  smile  curves  her  lips  as  she  eyes  him  ,  brow  raising.  ❛    come  have  fun.  promise  the  pamphlets  will  still  be  there  in  the  morning.  ❜

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i got some new followers sooo starter call ?

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Tv Show " Once Upon a Time"

S01 E05

please, like/reblog if you use it

don’t redistribute and claim as your own

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ENDLESS SWAN QUEEN GIFS: 75/∞ » I got to get back to Boston and back to my life. reblogs are encouraged!

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Once Upon A Time (2011 - 2018) 4.04 — The Apprentice.

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emma has always been an observer. watching from the sidelines , trailing behind the group , looking through a window. it was never on purpose ----- this ... disconnect with the world around her. it's more like life happened around her while she floated by , no stable ground given to put any roots down. nothing ever stayed in place for her. ( * kids got adopted around her -- friends , gone the next day. food was there sometimes -- were it not stolen away from her by an older kid or needing to be stolen from a gas station in the first place. houses juggled her around -- group homes , foster parents , homelessness. )

shield gave her a home &* food &* purpose when she'd simply accepted that she'd be homeless &* that she'd just skate by surviving on the streets. she doesn't like questioning shield. but ... every time something like this happens , they take winter away. maybe she's just clinging to the familiar , even if it's bad for her ------ after all , what is winter if not the one thing she wants most that is ultimately the least stable thing she's ever had in her life ? she knows how to function with instability. she'd feel too safe with anyone else. it would be safer to step away from winter &* let shield feed her whatever safe , stable fodder they had. but when winter looks at her with that hint of humanity in a so-called feelingless superhuman soldier ... ? shield is doing something. hiding something. there's a reason her lie-dar goes off every time they go near pierce.

she is not a spy. she is not a genius or a superhero or a soldier. she is just a girl who took an offer &* somehow ended up so powerful that it was only logical to team her up here. whatever is scratching at winter's brain is unknown to her , &* she knows that ultimately it cannot be good for her own stability to push shield , but ---------- well , she's never had anything stable. it's not a big loss to kick the chair. she just had to be careful to not hang winter in the process. don't encourage the self destruct just yet , swan.

❛  s'just a train. ❜ she gives a curt little nod at winter's determination , shoulders rising &* falling with nonchalance. she isn't going to solve the riddles of winter's head here &* now. she relaxes her hold on them , hands instead moving to gently pat his lapels. ❛ careful. don't wanna seem too eager. they might think you can feel joy in there.   ❜ dry humor is said as she raises her hand to cup his cheek for just a moment , touch soft &* reassuring as she offers up a little smile. ❛   just ... keep your eyes on me , okay ? we're civilians. you're playing my husband out here --- just look like you can't bear to look at anything else but me. you're just ... sappy &* in love. don't let go of my hand. i'll make sure we get to our cabin. ❜ orders nonetheless , but also just as much comfort. she's the better actor of their team ; winter keeps them safe. in these missions , she's in charge of logistics.

❛   practice first. you look too anxious. if we go out there right this second , we'll get clocked by security in two seconds. you have to look at me like ... ❜ she struggles for words , if only because it's hard to tell someone to look at you like they love you. crueler yet because winter has looked at her like that before. like letting her out of their sight was a fate worse than failing a mission. ( * the worst crime in their field by far. getting the result shield wanted was more important than their teammate dying. it didn't matter how powerful either of them were --- they were both expendable at the end of the day. but winter has saved her before. ) they aren't there yet -- where they tread now is vulnerable &* flirtatious ... winter has their guards down enough that she can touch them like this without fearing bodily harm , but not quite enough that she knows what they're feeling. trust , physical intimacy , but not love. at least , she doesn't think so. it's hard to read winter. she's never been great at reading anyone , but winter in particular ? god hates her.

❛   you remember that dog we saw in amsterdam last week ? you smiled when it came up to us at lunch because it trusted you without a second thought. didn't consider you a threat at all. look at me like how that made you feel , if it's easier than some open-ended look at me like you love me order. ❜

it's all too easy to lead themselves down that rabbit hole, & so far they've been able to avoid it, but something NAGS at the back of their brain in a way that makes them think they must have had an encounter with it before. some kind of reason to explain the utter sense of DREAD that has overtaken them, seized their being & made their whole body tense. they're usually hyper-vigilant, that's just part of the job as the soldier, but this is different. this is FEAR, & the fact that the soldier has no other context for this visceral emotional reaction to the proposition of going on the train is more than frustrating ; it's downright INFURIATING.

the soldier isn't angry at emma, of course― they don't think ANYTHING she did could make them truly angry. she's the one person they're allowed a vague sense of EMPATHY for, & they do exploit it when they can. no, the soldier is angry at themselves for not knowing, for having some sense but not even nearly an entire picture. it makes figuring out the source of the problem IMPOSSIBLE, but maybe that's not a coincidence ; the soldier doesn't put it past HYDRA to have kept something from them that they should know.

her question is apt, & it pulls their attention from their thoughts as their gaze shifts to meet hers. does it make their brain itch ? the more that they try to think about it, the more their head THROBS ― it's not an itch so much as a scab covering something much worse. ❝ it hurts to think about, ❞ they answer honestly after a moment of hesitation, because they're aware that there are BOUNDARIES set between the two of them in terms of sharing & disclosure, but they're never quite sure where the unspoken boundaries lie. so they TEST it with admission, wondering if she'll mind the honesty in their answer. readily evident if she's looking― & the soldier is almost certain that she is. she's one of the few that have ever SEEN them beyond their function.

it's an intimate feeling, one that they hold close & SACRED in their heart. the idea of opening up & being vulnerable is almost laughable given their circumstances, being used as a machine to pursue a fascist entity's goals, but there's something about it that the soldier feels they don't have much CHOICE in. they haven't intentionally led themselves to feel as such about emma, it's simply happened ; they think this might mean something, but have hardly had the time to thoroughly investigate it. they're foreign to the concept of WANTING, always striving after a goal that others have given ; at this point, they don't know if they're even capable of it.

they could go along with emma's attempts to explain it away, but something about their intuition on this feels significant, & despite the voice SCREAMING in their head about liability and culpability, they indulge her with their thoughts anyway. ❝ i slept fine. ❞ they only sleep a couple of hours at a time, & almost always wake with some sense of MALAISE. it is a slight reassurance that she doesn't feel the same impending doom for their designated mission, but that also makes them wonder further about where this instinct originated. ❝ it's . . . i don't know how to describe it. ❞ their gaze finds hers again, SEARCHING. ❝ i'll be alright. it's a train. ❞ the insinuation being: it can't hurt me, or you. ❝ let's get going. ❞

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COME FIND ME !

⊹ multimuse ( @maimedaffair ) ⊹ lestat de lioncourt of iwtv ( @vienamoi ) ⊹ emma swan of ouat ( @screwhope ) ⊹ hans westergaard of frozen ( @ildprincs )

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happy mother’s day to the milf’s of storybrooke ~