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Tim: We can't tell Dick he'll never let us pull this prank.

Jason: What? Dick loves pranks.

Duke: Yeah but not the illegal ones.

Steph: Or ones against cops.

Jason: WHAT!?

Batsibs:..?

Jason: Just one sec

Jason (calling Dick and putting them on speaker):

Dick: Whats up?

Jason: Hey remember when I was still Robin and you got mad at Bruce for telling you not to flirt with the rogues while he was actively hooking up with Selina, so you let me tag along to steal shit from museums while planting cat fur you stole from Selina's place hoping to frame her but the dumb ass detective ended up thinking it was a gang of hyper intelligent stray cats?

Dick (snorting): Yeah, of course, I still send the detective a box of kittens and something of his I've stolen of his every year on National Adopt a Stray Day.

Jason (deadpan look at his siblings):

Dick: Crazy to think that was one of the tamer pranks we pulled...

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Superman 2025 is the perfect movie because if some loser incel like Ben Shapiro calls it bad you can just reply with a gif of Lex Luthor malding, and if someone else tries to review bolb it you can just post a gif of Lex’s luthors monkeys making twitter posts.

Truly I have never seen a film which came prepackaged with its own defenses against bad faith critics.

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Like father like son

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seeing the online reactions to Superman (2025) has been, frankly, as much of a delight as the film itself. it's been days and i don't think i've seen a single hate comment without it being immediately followed up by a picture of a monkey typing

the only negative reviews this film has received thus far are all coming from a) zionists b) alpha male tech bros - which are quite literally the two main villains of the story, so the jokes write themselves at this point

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put them in a polycule idc

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Superman isn't woke. You're just so evil that you see a man doing acts of kindness and you think it's a targeted political agenda

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clark shouting "people were going to DIE" in the face of the "think of the consequences of your actions" argument is so fucking important to me bc it really IS that simple you can't look at a genocide and just twiddler your thumbs bc you're a afraid of the consequences ESPECIALLY when you can do something about it and THATS WHAT CLARK DID. WITHOUT HESITATION. WITHOUT CONSIDERING HOW IT COULD HURT HIM. bc hes a good person and in his brain its really just people were going to die so i had to step in bc what else would it be. superman i love you i love you i love you

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I know its probably not but the idea that superman 2025 and the batman take place in the same universe at similar times is so funny to me. All this weird shit is going on with aliens and pocket dimensions in metropolis and then like an hour away its serial killer twitch streamers and the saddest wettest emo boy

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Lex honey, having studied all of Superman's moves to the point where you can predict what he will do next to counter it with intense accuracy is not straight behavior

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I absolutely adore how normal Clark's parents looked so normal. I realize the ideal of them is a strong farmer and his wife and that might be a beautiful older woman and her sturdy handsome husband. Nothing wrong with that. But Martha and Jonathan Kent in this movie were the kind of older couple I'd see at the grocery store in my own small-town. The kind of people at the community hall and auction grounds picking up hay bales for the cattle.

They were warm and just so normal it almost surprises you. They also don't resemble Clark at all which I think is important in driving home the fact that they aren't his biological parents. He stands out amongst them it's so clear he's different and special even. And my god do they love him.

The way they call for him and sit on a rusty bench outside the creaky screen door. That feels like home to me having grown up on the prairies. How authentic they feel only grounds Clark even more. It feels less like a dream or idea of a perfect farm family and is more two people who tried their best and will bake apple pie with calloused hands full of love

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some Superman (2025) letterboxd reviews I wanted to share.

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clark kent saying things like golly and gosh? clark kent saving dogs and squirrels? clark kent drinking coco? cunty lex luthor? cunty lois lane? dc you are so back.

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Guys do you think she’s excited

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SLIGHT SUPERMAN SPOILERS!!!

“SUPERMAN HOPE SPEECH THIS! LEX ULTIMATE HATER THAT!”

OKAY NO

I LOVED the movie I saw it TWICE already but yk what I loved most that I’ve seen NO ONE talk about???

THAT ONE GUY WHO WORKS FOR LUTHOR AND HIS BEEF WITH LARRY!

THE TWINS! THE TWIN AT THE END AND HIS HATRED FOR THE GUY AT THE END OF HIS ROW (with glasses) CALLED LARRY

(paraphrasing cuz I can’t remember word for word)

Larry: “ *something about something (I can’t remember)* ”

Guy at the end: NO SHIT LARRY

Guy at the end: Alpha camera down!

Larry: Alpha camera down!

Guy at the end: I JUST SAID THAT LARRY

Honesty my favourite side bit

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please please please please please come back please i’m begging 😭😭

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phones love to go "do you want to clear up .3 GB by deleting these cherished pictures that you havent looked at in more than 30 days?" while also installing random apps and AI bullshit you didnt ask for. and you cant even uninstall half the apps