selfhurt

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Lately I have been experiencing something I don't understand I have been going about my day as normal, when I suddenly, because of something minimal, for instance not getting an answer to a text immediately, I have some sort of attack I start crying uncontrollably, hyperventilating, and I am overcome with suicidal thoughts, I start hitting and scratching myself.. Suddenly the only thing on my mind is hurting myself, wanting to die or disappear, and I become convinced that everybody hates me. After a while I calm down again, and besides having a headache and being exhausted, everything goes back to normal. Has anybody else experience this? Or do any of you know what it is, why this is happening?

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I am scared of going to bed. Because if I do I will start thinking. And if I start thinking I will have a panic attack. And I can't handle that right now

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Things have been going so well lately, but then all of a sudden I am once again staring down at my forearm and thinking how simple it would be to end it all.

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I woke up this morning and I really wish I hadn't

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I'm not going to blow up your inbox, but just know that I care about you, okay? I'm here. If you need someone to talk to, just shoot me a message and I'll give you my info. Hang in there darling.

i'm sorry for not responding to your messages, but i just don't think i can talk about it right now. thank you tho, you are lovely, and i will be sure to remember you

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crying so hard i can't breathe

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i want to die

die die die die die

sounds nice

please let me die

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i am so tired

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This is dumb. Don't read. It's a happy post. I feel like I'm disappointing you by being happy. I'm sorry. I just need to write this

I am so lucky. I have the best boyfriend ever. And I know lots of people say that, but oh my god he is everything that is good about the world. He is what keeps me stable. We have been together for about six months, and I have only cut maybe 20 times or so. That is amazing and believable. But he is just so good for me. I never taught I would have someone like him. Someone who knows everything, and I mean everything. He knows about the sadness, the depression, the cutting. He knew before we got together. But he still wanted me. And he treats me so good. I can't believe I have someone like him in my life. I just need to write about him.

He notices instantly if something triggers me. If we're watching a movie and someone tries to kill themselves or cuts themselves or anything like that. He will know. He takes my hand. He hugs me and allows me to bury my face in his chest. He tells me when I can look again. He asks me if I'm okay.

He understands me in a way no one else has ever done. He was a cutter once too. He got out before it got too deep, but he still understands in a totally unique way.

He listens to me. He tells me ha loves to listen to me talk. No matter what I talk about. When I'm sad he lets me complain to him. Time after time, he doesn't get sick of me. He tells me he wants me to confide in him. He likes knowing I trust him, so he actually wants to listen, he wants to help.

He makes me feel beautiful. He tells me I look good, he tells me I'm cute, he tells me I'm beautiful. Once i tried to delete a bad photo of me on his phone, and he stopped me, crying out "no! i like looking at pictures of you, they make me happy"

He is funny, gorgeous, nice, polite, all my friends and family like him, he is understanding and caring, he gets me.

He once told me that he gets worried when I don't respond to his texts, he is afraid I'm hurting myself, and he just wants me to be okay.

He started crying when we talked about suicide. When I finally told him how much I wanted to die, he cried. Told me he couldn't stand the thought of losing me.

He is wonderful. I love him. So much. How did I deserve this? How did I get someone like him?

I'm so scared. What if he leaves

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This is literally the worst day I want to go home, I can't do this

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I know you are sad And I know you hate talking about it I know you hate talking about yourself in general But please let me help Please don't shut down Don't push me away Because if I lose you now I don't think I can survive it

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please please please please please don't leave me

you are the best thing that has ever happened to me

i love you so much

i have never loved someone like you and i'm so scared

you are becoming so distant and i can't handle it

life makes no sense without you

you made me better, you saved me

please don't leave, please don't send me bakc

to the hell that has been my life the past years

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shitfuck

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STIKK AV

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GÅ BORT ERIK ANDREAS DU ER IKKE VLEKOMME HER

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GO AWAY

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you are going to get so sick of me