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[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

Things that will make your computer meaningfully faster:

Replacing a HDD with an SSD

Adding RAM

Graphics cards if you're nasty

Uninstalling resource hogs like Norton or McAfee (if you're using Windows then the built-in Windows Security is perfectly fine; if you're using a mac consider bitdefender as a free antivirus or eset as a less resource intensive paid option)

Customizing what runs on startup for your computer

Things that are likely to make internet browsing specifically meaningfully faster:

Installing firefox and setting it up with ublock origin

adding the Auto Tab Discard extension to firefox to sleep unused tabs so that they aren't constantly reloading

Closing some fucking tabs bud I'm sorry I know it hurts I'm guilty of this too

Things that will make your computer faster if you are actually having a problem:

Running malwarebytes and shutting down any malicious programs it finds.

Correcting disk utilization errors

Things that will make your computer superficially faster and may slightly improve your user experience temporarily:

Clearing cache and cookies on your browser

Restarting the computer

Changing your screen resolution

Uninstalling unused browser extensions

Things that do not actually make your computer faster:

Deleting files

Registry cleaners

Defragging your drive

Passively wishing that your computer was faster instead of actually just adding more fucking RAM.

This post is brought to you by the lady with the 7-year-old laptop that she refuses to leave overnight for us to run scans on or take apart so that we can put RAM in it and who insists on coming by for 30-minute visits hoping we can make her computer faster.

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

I swear twitter isn’t just toxic it’s also stupid. Like 0 reading comprehension skills over there.

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

I’d like to add this because it’s a HUGE pet peeve of mine

“I COULDN’T care less.”

Not

“I COULD care less.”

You’re not saying “I care a little bit”, you’re saying “I don’t care at all.”

IT’S NOT ‘PEEKED’ MY INTEREST

OR ‘PEAKED’

BUT PIQUED

‘PIQUED MY INTEREST’

THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

We’re not even the only species that have sex for pleasure alone bc dolphins do too

the "sex is what makes us human" brand of aphobia is so fucking funny to me. like, correct me if i'm wrong, but i am fairly certain that animals fuck too

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

Just read the gratitude page on Stick Season WABHF and Jesus…I would fight the world to be loved the way Noah loves Brenna

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

Wow I go through life consistently on a mental health 5…good to know.

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

God she really said “this one’s for everyone who thinks they get an opinion on my love life! Get fucked 🖕🏻🤪”

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

i understand toddlers cuz if i was just born a couple years ago and someone tried to get me to understand and say words while i'm growing insane amounts of teeth very quickly and painfully i'd be having a temper tantrum on the floor of a department store too

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

passages that make you whisper "oh my god"

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

hozier Delighted to bring the Wasteland Baby Tour back to the US in November, joined by special guest angiemcmahon. Excited to see you there! (Link in story) 🎥 austinroa (1/2)

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

Noah Kahan: I have a deeply conflicted love-hate relationship with the place I grew up and the cognitive dissonance will drive this whole album.

Hozier: fuck yeah, Ireland!!!

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

"too sweet is clearly about hades and persephone" shut up shut up shut UP SHUT UP.

Too Sweet is literally his most straight forward song to date. Not every hozier song has to be about greek mythology. Let this man just speak his mind without mindgames for ONCE.

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

I will be in the same state as Hozier AND Noah Kahan in the next 3 days

We will be 2.5 hours apart. And I can’t go bc my ex husband was a BITCH.

😩

At least I get to see them in June in Kentucky 💁🏼‍♀️

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

Florence Welch’s voice card does not decline man

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

i found the tenth circle of hell: it's where your fave blows up on tiktok

[sergeantjeffersonhammond]

well, my boyfriend's in a band