shah-ka

[shah-ka]

5/31/17

i’m tired i’m sad i like d a lot a lot. sorry i haven’t posted in a long time, things have been crazy. i joined like three clubs and i’m on the board of two clubs and i’m in mock trial which is a lot of time. i’m not on rowing anymore thank god. i’m on campus for like 12-13 hours a day. life is crazy. d leaves in 2 months and i leave in 2 months. i have two jobs this summer. i want to spend a good amount of time with d before we break up

[shah-ka]

4/2/17

well i’m the worst. haven’t posted in like eight years. still dating d! i start a new job tomorrow troubleshooting computers. i’m very scared because i know nothing. i just got back yesterday from an entire week in thailand!!! oh my god! it was so fun i feel amazing. going to start rowing again. classes for spring term start tomorrow. i am clean and soft and have lots of new clothes from thailand.

[shah-ka]

2/13/17

things are so good but i’m very tired. feeling a little sad because courtney is going home for a while and i’m feeling anxious about everything i have to get done for tomorrow. also i think i’m in trouble and one of my professors emailed me and told me i need to meet with her in her office tomorrow. i’m v scared. but things are so good. celebrated v day yesterday with d and it was soooo romantic and we ate so much food so basically. really cool

[shah-ka]

2/4/17

things are really good and i love myself and i love life. i went home this weekend because i’m pretty sick, sinus infection. other than that, things are so good. this is a weird feeling. i randomly found like a couple thou in a bank account that i’ve been trying to close which is simultaneously the biggest relief of my life and a huge joy

[shah-ka]

1/31/17

i’m literally the worst at this and god knows i don’t have time to be writing this rn. my whole life is chaos right now but lowkey i’m loving it. i’m using all my free time to sleep. i took a 9 minute nap the other day. i’m pretty sick right now. i’m dating d, he is sick too. haven’t been able to go to rowing the past couple days. hope i feel better soon. things are really really good! scary and fast, but good. can’t believe it’s already fucking week 4. that’s actually terrifying. holding on for dear life.

[shah-ka]

1/6/17

things have been so busy and crazy and i haven't gotten too much sleep but omg!!! disney was so fun i'm v glad to have gone. i'm in the airport on my way home now. school starts on monday and i'm a lil scared i'll be snowed into my home tomorrow and i wont be able to get to my university. i'm sooo excited to see my roommates and w and d. things are looking up! i'm having the best time! i'm so excited about this term

[shah-ka]

1/3/17

i flew to orange county today with a friend but we literally got stuck in the san francisco airport for 8 hours. we did two hours of yoga there. when we finally got to the hotel we ordered mexican food and watched the bachelor which was !!! buy i had forgotten how heavy cheese is. i’m so excited to be here and life feels so good. i’ve been talking to d and w all day which is so fun. on my first flight i had a moment where i felt very anxious about j again but i just feel warm and clean and excited right now

[shah-ka]

1/2/17

i feel so happy!!!!!! so good. i’m going to disneyland tomorrow with a really good friend. tomorrow though we’re gonna have a girl’s day in la. i’m really excited about life and boys and life and wine and life and my roommates. i resigned my lease today, hope i did the right thing!!! i think i did, i love my roommates. today i went shopping w cora which was so fun and warm and i was so happy to see her. i also ate really really good ramen downtown and i saw sav and we talked about her relationship. feelin good

[shah-ka]

new year's eve!!!! i got wine drunk so i think most people would consider that a success

[shah-ka]

1/1/17

i might try and do one of these every day. so much can happen in a year which is insane so i’m going to try and document it. plus writing on here makes me a better person (to myself and to others).

a list of things that i did in 2016:

i had my first serious relationship

had sex for the first time

went on lots of dates

made a tinder

went to chicago

went vegan

decided properly on a major

went to hawaii

went to iceland

saw the northern lights

fell in love

fell out of love

made a youtube video

got my first apartment

i cooked lots of good food

had like a million crushes

had my first real jobs with paychecks and everything

went to LA

got mehendi put in my hair

had my first gyno appointment

spent my valentine’s day with a boy

made some great friends and great roommates

learned how to use highlighter

joined the rowing team

my boobs jumped 2 cup sizes (32DD can u shout)

got really tan this summer

worked at that golf club and had the best, best summer

got serious freckles

drank a lot a lot of wine

hosted many wine nights!

recovered from a break up really gracefully and feel really positive about it

dressed up as hillary clinton for halloween

today i played a lot of board games and had a really good time with friends and family. it was a positive and warming day and my makeup looked really really good. at like 3am i was talking to d and he told me to drink water to avoid my wine hangover and was so sweet about all the drama i was telling him about and even when i mentioned my break up. i feel so good and so hopeful

[shah-ka]

12/31/16

new year’s resolutions

don’t lose all your photos again :-) like you have done for the last four years :-) bACK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE

take more photos. especially photos of yourself.

post some youtube videos

cook good food

flirt more!

be honest and brave. especially with boys. if you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it

wear nice bras

buy yourself sexy pajamas. you feel so good in sexy pajamas

if you don’t have a reason to be with him and you don’t have a reason to break up with him, break up with him

have more wine nights

be strong

cry less about boys

remember to take your birth control more regularly

have a lot of fun!!!!! don’t be so serious

[shah-ka]

12/28/16

it’s hard to be very active when things are so good. it’s almost two in the morning but i love myself so much right now that i can’t sleep. what does that even mean. how am i so happy that i can’t sleep. feels unreal !!! i love my whole life i love being alone i love my roommates i love my friends i love my family i love all of it. today i am so in love and so hopeful for this new year. i feel strong and rejuvenated!!!!! i will put up a new year’s resolution list on this blog i think

[shah-ka]

So I think we all can agree that 2016 was a pretty terrible year, but in an attempt to be positive, I think we should all put it the tag/respond to this with something(s) positive/good that happened to us this year. 

[shah-ka]

11/30/16

i feel so good. i'm feeling soft and ready to take on a new year. i am ready to finish this term and relax for 5 weeks and travel and take good photos and then i'm ready for whatever 2017 is gonna throw at me.

[shah-ka]

11/27/16

thanksgiving weekend was actually really good. i’m ready for my term to be over. i felt so at peace while i was at home. also, i figured so much shit out. like i think i know where i want to live next year and i know where i want to study abroad! and what i’m doing with my summer! i want to be done with my salsa class so that i don’t have to see my ex anymore. a cute boy on the rowing team messaged me to hang out this weekend. things are looking up up up! i feel really at peace. a lot of my friends had so much stress with boys this weekend and i felt like a large sense of relief. i don’t have to worry about any of that shit anymore. i’m finally, finally free

[shah-ka]

well! some of the thanksgiving messages i received back. wanted a place to keep them. i feel v v lucky to have these friends in my life. also my ex was p nice to me but i think this will probably be the last time i ever talk to him

[shah-ka]

11/22/16

i can’t wait to go home. i am ready for no classes. after next week though, i’ll probably hardly ever see you. that sucks a lot. we won’t have any classes together. i’ll miss you a lot but also a lot of the stress in my life will be gone. all of this would be so much easier if you were willing to talk. i think you’ll come around eventually but who knows. and even if you don’t, why do i want to be friends with somebody who doesn’t want to be friends with me. i miss you though. i know you’re doing well and you seem really happy. i want that, of course. i also know that i’m mostly only missing things that any relationship can give me. i don’t actually miss you necessarily. it was just easy. also, i hope that r breaks up w his girlfriend lol. i hope that at some point in our lives, both of us are single. if we ever dated, i think that we would definitely get married. if soulmates exist, he is one of mine for sure. life feels better. i just can’t believe i get to go home! i miss my family so much.