shakespearean-shitposts - Tumblr blog

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I found this poem by @frogyell and laughed at it for two days straight so take this doodle as a symbol of my appreciation. 😂

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Hamlet + text posts 2/2

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Shakespeare Characters as Iconic Quotes From The Bachelor

Romeo: Nick held my boobs today. He held my BOOBS. OK? Nobody has ever held my boobs like that. And nobody ever will.

Richard II: I didn't mean to offend anybody by taking that nap. Micheal Jordan took naps. Abraham Lincoln took naps. And I'm in trouble for napping?!

Cassius: IIIIIIIIII smacked the shiiiiiit out of her, and she doesn't even knooooow iiiit. What does that say about your emotional intelligence, biiiiiitch??

Beatrice: My heart is golden but my vageen is platinum.

Lady Macbeth:She better not steal my thunder or I will literally punch her in the face.

Horatio/Benvolio: I don't want to be here. I want to be at a spa being fed a nice taco...preferably chicken.

Prince Hal: I'm smarter than I look *grabs boobs* DO YOU CALL THIS IMMATURE????

Viola:Today was a dream come true. I stepped out of my comfort zone. Dad would be proud, even though I was naked.

Brutus: I'm a corn husk. You got to pull back all the layers, and in the middle is this luxury, yellow corn with all these pellets of information. And it's juicy and buttery. You want to get to that corn.

Benedick: I'm really pissed. She re-interrupted me, which I think is very rude. I interrupted Taylor and she re-interrupted me.

Hamlet: And I feel like I'm not being myself, but I'm trying really hard to be myself, but because I'm trying so hard to be myself it's making me even more not myself.

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my name iz ham  i saw a gost then spurned the girl i loved the most  mi unc mi father’s life did sting i get in fite i kil the king

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mi name is puck  and wen it’s nite wen lovers run all thru mi site i do not lurk in gossip’s cup  i stay up late i fuk shit up

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mi name is will i rite ‘bout fate all my sonnets  you think are strait but joke’s on you, my silly guy half are to guys im super bi

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i can’t sleep and im getting mad iago feels

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The year is 1730. A lone teenage girl sits up at 11 pm writing frantically in her diary. ‘WOE IS ME!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE SHAKESPEARE RN WHY DID HE MAKE ROMIET CANON’

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a game called “hamlet, kanye west, or dril” in which you are given a quote without context and subsequently must determine whether or not it originates from shakespeare’s extremely well-known tragedy hamlet, highly influential rapper/fashion mogul kanye west, or noted Weird Twitter account dril. it may sound easy but i have a feeling it’d be at least a little bit harder than it sounds

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sproutoftheblue:

punk-kieren-walker:

I’m not sure why I was thinking about this subject this morning, but Shakespeare writes teenagers REALLY well and I never really noticed it before.

So, this actually comes from a train of thought I’ve had for a while. I’ve always been frustrated by productions of Hamlet which have a 30+ year old man playnig Hamlet. Hamlet is a college student. That means he’s probably between the ages of 17 to 23-ish, give or take a few years (since I’m not entirely certain when people started university in Shakespeare’s time). So his reactions to the drama in his family/kingdom are very teenaer-esque. He freaks out, he’s confused, he’s stressed.

I ran the lights for a production of Hamlet that my uni last semester. Which meant that Hamlet was played by someone in their early 20s, the correct age. During one of the performances, I was paying closer attention than usual to the scenes between Hamlet and Gertrude (particularly the death of Polonius, but the early scene between the as well) and suddenly it seemed so real to me, that Hamlet would be saying all these terrible things to Gertrude and accusing her so harshly and basically insulting her and yelling at her in a very over-dramatic fashion. Because he’s a teenager, he’s confused, and he’s upset, and he’s doesn’t have the adult experiences to make him sit down and figure out how to deal with things calmly or rationally. He just knows that his mother has done wrong and things are wrong and all the pressure is on him to fix it and he doesn’t really know how. The overly emotional scenes and drama and even Hamlet’s suicidal ideation or rash unthinking attacks make so much more sense when you think “19 year old college student comes home from a semester at school and all this unexpected crazy shit gets dropped on top of him along with the grief of his father’s death and he doesn’t know how to deal” as opposed to seeing Hamlet as a grown man over the age of 25.

Similarly, this morning I was thinking about Romeo And Juliet (a rare occasion for me) and I realized how dumb the fight between Tybalt and Benvolio seems when you see it with grown men. I think it’s general knowledge that Juliet is around the age of 13-15, and generally assumed that Romeo is a few years older, so 16-18. I would assume then that the rest of that generation of characters (Mercution, Benvolio, Tybalt, etc) are around that age as well. So I was just thinking about Tybalt’s entrance at the beginning of the play, in which he immediately threatens Benvolio in the most absurdly violent way possible, and his invitation to duel (Drawn and talk of peace? I hate the word,/ as I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee!), which is just so dramatic. It’s so juvenile sounding. It’s the equivalent of a pissed off teenager shoving some kid just cuz he wants to start a fight (albeit with greater consequences in Tybalt’s case). And it sounds sort of silly and overdramatic, again, until you put the words in an angry, probably kinda spoiled, belligerent 16 year old kid’s mouth.

Literally every scene in A Midsummer Night’s Dream makes more sense when you remember that these characters are most likely teenagers around 16-20 and not adults. They seem far less ridiculous when you think of it as teens running around in a forest in this bizarre love triangle/relationship weirdness.

Basically, I just think it’s very interesting that we mostly see Shakespeare plays done with a cast where everyone is over the age of 25, so we think of all the characters as over 25, when really there are a lot of characters that are far younger. And their actions and reactions make so much more sense when you watch them as teenagers or young adults who have been thrust into strange and often stressful or upsetting circumstances. It’s easier, then, to remember how young they are and how little experience they have or how emotional they can become. It makes things more believable and more interesting, I think.

indie-kitten and deanrexal look at this person defend my sad and sassy son

swanjolras

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Signs as Shakespeare characters

Aquarius: Puck

Pisces: Lady Macbeth

Aries: Viola

Taurus: Malvolio's yellow stockings

Gemini: all the Sebastians combined to make The Sebastian™

Cancer: Iago's hate-boner for Othello

Leo: the kid in Macbeth who gets called an egg and stabbed to death

Virgo: Macbeth's "dagger" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Libra: Titus' severed hand

Scorpio: Hamlet's left nipple

Sagittarius: Mercutio's sass

Capricorn: Mercutio's ass

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x_X_pRiNcE_hAmLeT_X_x

Welcome to my twisted reign.

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So here’s a fun game. Replace every instance of the word “father” in any Shakespeare play with a slightly-moaned “daddy.”

For example: “Mother, you have my daddy much offended.”

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I feel like anyone who studied Romeo and Juliet in like Year 9 will always associate it with Troy Bolton because of that one god damned movie with that guy…you all know what I’m talking about

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hamlet: a super big emo tumblr with like 100000 followers and posts like “humans are cool in theory but shit in practice” and elaborate lik the bred memes about his own self-loathing and some vagueblog aesthetic “i miss you” posts to ophelia

ophelia: an aesthetic blog with posts like “boys suck but i love them anyway” and dimly lit aesthetic photos of herself and vagueblog aesthetic “i miss you” posts to hamlet

horatio: a fandom blog that interacts with everyone all the time and also talks about how hes super gay with posts like “everyone around me is going through relationship drama and im 4 seasons deep in this new show” and “every time hamlet says anything about ophelia i lose 4 years from my life” and a bunch of social justice stuff.

laertes: blog thats like. literally 100% hetero™ jokes and jokes about how gay he is. we though horatio was bad. laertes is some next level shit. like damn. honey. you have to chill. he has posts like “i havent seen a straight person in 3 days” (he had lunch with polonius the day before) and like. hamlet had “lik the bred” memes. laertes is still posting breadsticks memes. and maybe even some rare pepes. he did not get the memo.

rosencrantz and guildenstern: literally just tagging each other in everything. theyre the most annoying blogs and everyone thinks theyre a couple. they say theyre not a couple. but really, theyre totally a couple. theyre sickening tbh. they need to stop.