shamelesslymkp

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Sometimes I think about how media does us a disservice by only showing a very narrow concept of illness and disability.

Like, Tumblr has laughed at people who thought 'the potato sweats' was something everyone goes through, but that's because that's not normal for you. The only kind of allergies that ever get talked about in movies and TV shows are the severe, immediately life-threatening kind, where your throat closes up and you'll be dead in ten minutes if you don't get an Epi-pen to the thigh. So why would you assume that getting sweaty is an allergic response?

I've talked about the fact that I have a histamine issue before. It's likely MCAS. It's functionally like being mildly to moderately allergic to basically the whole world. I've had low key symptoms at least since early high school (year 7/age 12) onwards. And for years, I just thought I got a lot of colds. Just basically constantly. It couldn't be hayfever, I thought; my family get hayfever, and it happens in spring. Mine was year round.

I was in my mid-twenties when I was diagnosed as having 'non-season-specific hayfever'. I didn't work out histamine intolerance for myself until a couple of years ago (a decade or so later), when a member of disability Twitter talked about having MCAS, and how it was likely connected to their fibromyalgia, and how it was probably correlated with fibro for most people, if not causative of it. And they talked about some of the symptoms, and I thought, huh. I tried a bioflavonoid called quercetin in supplement form (one of the treatments they mentioned), and was able to breathe through my nose without difficulty for the first time in literal years. And I'd been taking two different antihistamines daily for several years at this point.

My sister has started looking into MCAS a little herself, and I put together some resources and links of places to find more information. I would up reading the SIGHI (Swiss Interest Group Histamine Intolerance) symptoms list, and here's some of the random shit this 'pseudoallergic' condition can cause:

bacterial bladder infection symptoms without the bladder infection

headaches and migraines

fatigue

temporary loss of the sense of smell

heartburn

acid reflux

Before I changed my diet and reduced the amount of histamine-rich foods, I'd started having acid reflux out of nowhere, on a fairly healthy vegan diet – wasn't eating daily burgers and fries, or anything like that. It was happening near daily for awhile. Post diet change, I've had it maybe three times over the course of a year (likely when I've eaten higher histamine foods, tbh), and nowhere near as badly as I did before.

Histamine intolerance is still fairly new as a diagnosis, so it's not surprising that 0 doctors suggested it. But my point here was that allergies can look like a bunch of different things. One friend's mum didn't realise she was a cœliac until she travelled to Japan and didn't eat bread for basically the first time in her life. She was in her late 60s. One thing her cœliac disease caused was a serious nutritional deficit (I think it was potassium?) She passed out and wound up being hospitalised for it. This is common in allergic diseases, because when your gut's inflamed, it can't absorb nutrients properly.

There are so many examples of public misconceptions of illness and disability, but another one that hit home for me was epilepsy. The only kind of seizure that ever appears in popular media is Grand Mal – the kind with convulsions. So when my boss had an absence seizure in her office, with me the only other person in the building, I did my best, but I had no idea what was going on. My boss was sitting in her office, basically non-reactive for several minutes, and then she was confused and vague for maybe a half hour after that. She'd never told me she had epilepsy; at that point, she said later, she hadn't had a seizure for eight years. Back then, I didn't know there were any other kinds of seizures at all. (My boss was fine, btw.)

And this isn't getting into our usual gripes with the lack of disability rep behind the camera leading to a narrow and inaccurate idea of neurodiversity (especially autism) and disability, leading to things like wheelchair users being hassled because the general public believes – thanks to pop culture – that the only kind of wheelchair user that exists are paraplegics and quadriplegics, and that part-time wheelchair users are clearly 'faking'.

The thing is that yeah, you can always do your own research, but first you have to recognise that something isn't normal. For better and for ill, the media we consume helps set our baseline of normal.

It might be nice if they portrayed a broader concept of normal than they currently do.

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based on @bitterdesert's beautiful fic! (i forewent the gloves and edwin's coat for the vibes, sorry. i'm sure they'll find other ways to keep warm hehe) happy birthday anna! 💖

I'll Be Your Mirror (Reflect What You Are) Chapter 6: I never find out until I'm head over heels

He opened his mouth, fully ready to do damage control and tell him I’m sorry, I just needed to do that at least once when Edwin pressed himself against Charles’ chest, reconnected their lips and swallowed Charles’ blissfully unnecessary apology. When they met in the middle again Charles could’ve sworn the lights glowed brighter, their soft buzzing mixed with whipping wind. 

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I'll make you my friend eventually.

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For @bitterdesert's wonderful fic my love line seems entwined with death! Happy birthday Anna!! Hope you have a wonderful day 💜

“I didn’t want you to have to see me like this.” Edwin eventually says. His voice comes out wet, and he looks pitifully at Charles with wide and red rimmed eyes. Charles’ heart nearly breaks in two. He takes another few steps forward until he can kneel down across from Edwin, taking one of Edwin’s hands into both of his. Edwin focuses intently on their interlocked hands, as if trying to work out how they could possibly fit together. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice.” Charles tells him, rubbing a thumb back and forth along Edwin’s knuckles.

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Murderbot in Network Effect is so funny. It’s like “my friend is dead this is the WORST and LIFE IS PAIN” and then rescues ART and immediately pivots to “I can’t BELIEVE you kidnapped me and dragged me out here just to save your useless fucking life, I hate you.”

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I am so excited to have submitted my piece for The Case of the Year Ahead (the DBDA Charity Pride Calendar), and am thrilled and honored to have been able to contribute!

The calendar is currently planned to launch on June 23rd (so soon!)

There are so many incredible pieces, and so much talent and love and care that has been put into this project — I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to this!

Calendar FAQ Lineup of Supported LGBTQ+ Charities

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i fear the battle is lost at this point but i still flinch every time i see "gay panic" used as a cute positive phrase. Like let's go on say wikipedia.org for a second and try typing that one in folks

edit: i caved and looked in the notes and my god you people are stupid. Stop talking about this like it's ancient history. The gay/trans panic defense is quite literally still legal in the majority of the US. Look at this map since you apparently don't have wikipedia or like any kind of search engine on your computers

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Hakoda the Grief Pirate it's time for Hakoda the Grief Pirateeee

Kya is killed, as in canon. Unlike canon, Bato is killed too. This means that rather than join the war, Hakoda goes mad with grief and gathers a few ships' worth of men - desperate, brutal men who want to repay the cruelty of the Fire Nation in kind. Not soldiers, not sailors, killers.

And he takes Katara.

The first place he goes is the Northern Water Tribe. He gets an audience. He goes to Chief Arnook and the elders and says: either I leave here today with a master for my daughter, or none of us leave this room alive.

Katara gets a master.

As in canon, Katara is a prodigy. With a year to focus on her waterbending and drilled by a man wearing her father's face who tells her "we're all going to die doing this" and "but we'll bleed them a thousand times over for every one of us" and most importantly he says "we're going to avenge your mother" - growing up under that man, Katara becomes terrifying.

Sokka is left alone. The last bit of love in his father's heart was spent on him, though he doesn't know it. It was spent on leaving him. It was spent on sparing him from seeing what his father would become.

Sokka goes out often, looking for traders and sailors and ships. He finds no news and too little fish. Until one day, an iceberg cracks open.

The boy is young and Sokka hasn't been a big brother for a while now, but it turns out that it's like riding a penguin - you never really forget. So when Aang gets kidnapped by some ponytailed jerk, of course he goes after him.

That he only manages to ruin Aang's escape and get them both captured is beside the point, okay? The Fire Jerk cheated.

(Appa follows them, if you're wondering. Aang doesn't seem to be in any real danger. Zuko isn't an especially merciless captor, no matter how he tries.)

Sokka finally gets some news. The Frost Wolf is believed to be a Northern raider (to protect his tribe from reprisals) and he is feared. He leaves only one survivor in each of his raids. He tasks them to deliver a simple message: the seas are no longer safe for the Fire Nation. He replenishes his crew with convicts and pirates. They say he has a crazy mechanist working for him. They say that an icy fog follows where he goes, blocking out the sun and chilling Firebenders to the core. They say he can't be killed.

-

"So, these guys of yours -" Sokka began and paused to let the answering "they're not my guys!" wash over him, "do they say anything about a girl?"

The Prince's ears reddened. "I don't listen to that kind of filth."

Which means you have listened, Sokka might have said if he felt like teasing. He didn't.

"Not like that! A girl, a little younger than me. Have you heard anything about that?"

Sokka held his breath. This was it. Of course, it didn't mean anything if Zuko hadn't heard...

"No." The Prince's voice was unusually quiet. Zuko's good eye glinted in the orange light of the torches.

Sokka couldn't help that his exhale caught in his throat on the way out, it wasn't - it was just a shock, he reasoned, it didn't mean anything that Zuko hadn't heard...

Zuko stood up and made to walk out. He stopped at the door.

"I'm sorry," the Prince said. "I have a sister, too."

The door closed and Sokka was left alone and with questions. Questions like:

How did he know?

-

The trip to the Fire Nation is long. Any experienced commander could have told Zuko to limit his interactions with the prisoners. To rotate out their guards and never have their meals brought by the same person if he could avoid it. Any experienced military commander would have seen the risk of two child prisoners, one of who is particularly genial and charming while the other is funny and sarcastic.

Iroh, one of the most experienced military commanders alive, encourages Zuko to learn all he can about his enemy. It's an advantage, you see.

(And if the watch lists are edited to put crewmembers with children into frequent and close contact with the prisoners - well, that's Iroh's prerogative. He is a General. And if there are a few minor navigational errors that lenghten their journey, well, that he knows nothing about. He's a General, not an Admiral.)

Meanwhile, Princess Azula is tasked with putting an end to the Frost Wolf's provocations. It would be terribly inconvenient if she were to have frequent encounters with another bending prodigy, about her age and wearing blue robes and a mask. They should make out about it.

Eventually, they'll all have to reckon with their monstrous fathers and murderous siblings.

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tagging is a courtesy. I've said this many times before but it bears repeating because I keep seeing nonsense takes on this while it really is so simple. authors do not have to tag beyond 'creator chose not to use archive warnings'. if someone has triggers and/or squicks, then fics tagged as such are simply not for them. that's fine! not everything has to be for everyone!! authors not tagging clearly do that accepting that fewer people will read their fics! but that's still their prerogative. 'creator chose not to use archive warnings' or only the main ao3 warnings are proper, sufficient tagging.

and like, personally i tend to tag beyond that. personally, i appreciate when other authors do. it's a great practice. i love tags. but they are not something that is owed and we really need to get off this weird take that it is. it's not, and it's reader's responsibility to assess if they want to take the risk of reading something untagged, and to curate their online experience. and yes, this includes simply not reading things if you are unsure about its contents even at the risk of missing out sometimes.

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once you remember that you are not in fact catholic and do not actually have to confess your sins all the time things will get better for you. kill the part of you that wants to go into some strangers inbox and tell them why you don’t listen to rap.

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In the canon context, there is something extremely funny about Phantom running around with so much ghost gear from Fentonworks.

I assume the Fentons make enough of a spectacle with their ghost hatred that everyone knows they're out here hunting Phantom for bloodsport. Like there's no uneasy truce or tense partnership going on like the Fentons have not partnered with Phantom in any way. There's not even any chance of a secret partnership because the likes of Jack Fenton would not be able to keep a secret like that.

Which really just leaves the conclusion that Phantom stole all that gear. All of it. Repeatedly. And he's still doing it. He's got some brand new FentonTech-of-the-week every week and he Absolutely is not supposed to have that. Like some raccoon in the trashcan the Fentons can't keep out despite all their broom-swinging and lid locks.

The ghost-net wristwatch that Jack Fenton is parading around with at 10am is on Phantom's wrist by 11am. Jack and Maddie have so many pieces of matching gear but if One piece is missing from One of them you can almost certainly bet it's clipped to Phantom's beltloop somewhere. Sometimes Fenton gear on Jack or Maddie will vanish and then reappear and the best idea anyone has is sometimes Phantom steals too many things and just gives the least fun pieces back.

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Yeah uh sorry but we're denying you the medication that makes you regrow the hands you lost in the accident due to cancer risk.

Oh the type of cancer? Hand cancer. It's. It's significantly higher when you have hands.

Higher than for the general population of people with hands? Uhhhhhhhhh well now you're asking really complicated and sort of ideologically motivated questions.

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Charles is the agency's people person. Obviously he is- he loved people! And he loved being around people.

...sometimes.

Other times.. other times he just wanted to tuck himself between Edwin's ribs and make a new home. (Words: 2,046)

!!!fandom !!fic |site:ao3 +fandom:dead.boy.detectives.(tv) ::rating:general.audiences ~author:fallenstar_cygnus character:charles.rowland.(dcu) character:edwin.paine.|.edwin.payne character:niko.sasaki character:crystal.palace.(dcu) relationship:edwin.paine.|.edwin.payne/charles.rowland relationship:charles.rowland.&.niko.sasaki relationship:edwin.paine.|.edwin.payne.&.niko.sasaki ::category:m/m \no.archive.warnings.apply ~ao3:lowkey.crystal.doesn't.do.much ~ao3:charles.rowland.needs.a.hug.(dcu) ~ao3:desperately.actually ~ao3:protective.edwin.paine.|.edwin.payne ~ao3:good.friend.niko.sasaki

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[shamelesslymkp]

" It was... comfortable. Like nothing had changed, even though everything had.

A sentiment which also described the current state of their relationship rather well. Nothing had changed, and yet it felt different. Or was it just Edwin who felt different?

That distinction had become more and more difficult to make, especially over the past few weeks." 

-

They don't take forever to figure out what the rest means. (Words: 4,640)

!!!fandom !!fic |site:ao3 +fandom:dead.boy.detectives.(tv) ::rating:teen.and.up.audiences ~author:the_genderless_librarian character:edwin.paine.|.edwin.payne character:charles.rowland.(dcu) character:niko.sasaki character:crystal.palace.(dcu) character:(briefly) relationship:edwin.paine.|.edwin.payne/charles.rowland relationship:edwin.paine.|.edwin.payne.&.niko.sasaki ::category:m/m \no.archive.warnings.apply ~ao3:domesticity ~ao3:edwin.exploring.his.gender.expression.my.beloved ~ao3:maurice.-.e..m..forster.references ~ao3:hand.holding ~ao3:love.confessions ~ao3:first.kiss ~ao3:gentleness ~ao3:vignettes ~ao3:just.vibes.no.plot ~ao3:tagging.is.harder.than.i.expected.tbh ~ao3:happy.anniversary.everyone

mkp's fic recs on pinboard | mkp's fic recs on tumblr

[shamelesslymkp]

Charles twisted again at the lock on the cell and cursed. "Sorry, mate," he said, avoiding looking at Edwin. "Nothing I can do without something to use as a lockpick. We might be stuck here a while."

"I would rather not," Edwin answered. "Dennis seemed somewhat more menacing than usual, and I did not like the look of whatever he was doing with that stained glass at all."

Charles rolled his right shoulder back and continued to avoid Edwin's eyes. "Yeah. Sorry. I, um. I can keep trying. Or - I dunno, try to break the bars? Or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Charles," Edwin said. "They're iron-laced. You will not be touching them any more than you already have." He sighed. "Alright. Stand away from the lock, please."

"Wait, what are you gonna do? You're not breaking through those bars either, if that's what you're thinking. Just 'cause you're weird about iron burns doesn't mean I'm letting you catch yourself on fire just to get away from fuckin' Dennis."

"I will do nothing of the sort," Edwin replied. "I do not plan to injure myself for the likes of Dennis, concerning stained glass or no. Now, please, stand aside."

Charles screwed up his face, but moved away, as much as he could, in the very small cell, which meant less that he stepped gracefully to the side and more that he awkwardly tried to switch places with Edwin without shoving either of them against the bars, or accidentally pushing his elbows into Edwin's semi-incorporeal body.

Edwin held out a hand and muttered under his breath. "Agoriad." His hand glowed, faintly, a delicate lavender, and he touched a long finger to the lock. He muttered again - "aperi" - and the lavender glow flowed up from his hand and into the lock and, with a soft click, the door swung gently open.

Edwin stepped out and Charles stared after him, mouth hanging open. "What - do you - have you always been able to do that?"

Edwin was the one avoiding eye contact, now. "No. Not, er. Always."

"How long?"

"That is beside the point. At the moment, the length of time we need to be concerned about is the time until Dennis returns - "

"Edwin! Why have you been letting me muck about with lockpicks this whole time!"

Edwin looked at the ceiling, and his usually-gray cheeks turned distinctly rosy. "I - I enjoy watching you do it."

"You what."

Edwin's face scrunched up, still pointed firmly towards the skylight. "I like... watching you. Open locks."

Charles's mouth was open, again. "Are you trying to tell me," he said, voice rather impressively even in the circumstances, he thought, "that you could've been magically opening locks this whole time - " ("not the whole time") " - and you've been standing back and letting me go at it with little bits of metal because you have what I'm pretty sure Crystal would call a competence kink?"

Edwin screwed up his face so hard his eyes squoze shut. "No?"

Charles started to say something with a voice that was no longer even at all, but it was just then that Dennis walked in the door, carrying some sort of stained glass birdhouse lantern thing, and just before all heck broke loose, Charles was pretty sure he heard Edwin say "oh thank fuck".

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at a conference I attended recently, a researcher pointed to the difficulty of finding material in archives because so much depends on the metadata and the terminology used to describe things changes over time. "it would be so helpful," the researcher said, "if I typed 'lesbian' into the library of congress database, it would also show me results that were categorised in the 50s, when the materials were interpreted as 'intimate female friendships'"

which is what tag wrangles at Archive Of Our Own do incredibly effectively: searching for "omegaverse" also leads to "alpha/beta/omega dynamics" and "alternate universe: a/b/o" and so on. but ao3 achieves this frankly incredible categorisation and indexing system by the power of countless volunteers putting in hours and hours of unpaid and unthanked free time, and it's completely understandable that most archives do not have that kind of infrastructure, but also how incredible that a fan-run website has better searchability, classification, and accessibility than the library of congress