sharkpistols - Tumblr blog

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Giorno saves the day

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source

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this is my birthday gift to myself

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i literally dont talk to anyone unless they talk to me first

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when you’re cozy in bed and you hear heavy rain reblog if you agree

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If you want school to start because you miss the structure and learning but dread the inevitable return of anxiety and stress and you’re hyper-aware of this inner conflict clap your hands

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if we are talking in person and i accidentally spit dont even call out i saw it and im dead inside

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private messaging friends: lmaO so anryrywya im fuckgng crygn

private messaging someone for the first time: Hello, nice to finally talk to you! It's wonderful that we have the chance to communicate through this messaging service - anyway, enough of me blathering on like a fool, how are you?

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when u spill ur yogurt all over your hands

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the husband 

the wife

the child

the cousin 

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òwó

you undewestimate my abiwities, mr pwesident

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while you were partying i was stomping on oranges

while you were having premarital sex i was dehydrating tangerines

While You Wasted Your Days At The Gym In Pursuit Of Vanity I Was In Hospital With Scurvy

and now that the world is on fire and the kumquats are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help?

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reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

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❤

[sharkpistols]

SO SOME ASSHOLE GOT HOLD OF MY PHONE AND CHANGE ALL MY CONTACT NAMES, ICONS AND RINGTONES TO THIS FUCKING THING

SO NOW WHENEVER I GET A CALL MY PHONE THINKS IT’S BEING ALL CUTE LIKE “it is a mystery >O>” FUCK YOU MAN

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skeletons