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shitty-goose-quack · 3 days ago

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Love love love your fics

Would love to see more of Finnick. Maybe him fending for you in the district or comforting you before he leaves for the games?

౨ৎ꣑ৎOceans Away౨ৎ꣑ৎ

fem reader x finnick odair <3 angsty hours

Each wave was combing through the sand, erasing your footprints and burying them in seafoam. Your gaze pointed east, the sunset behind you making your shadow walk in front of you. Time had slipped through your fingers- you didn’t know how long you’d been walking, having reached the shoreline and not looked back.

The news was swimming through your head, each letter of it melting into your blood. This was something you didn’t know if you’d be able to forgive or forget. You’d thought it was all over, that the time served had bought the rest of your life in peace. This was only proof of the cruelties being chosen contained. You wished you would wake up, find yourself free of every bit of this.

Quarter Quell. Two words that could send you into a frenzy. And it wasn’t just any Quarter Quell. Why Snow was choosing to send the already traumatized back into the arena was beyond you. Your mind was fragile enough, barely healing from the toll it had taken in your formative years. What had happened less than an hour ago was aiming to bring it all hurtling back. You’d stumbled outside in a haze, the demons threatening to close in. Lifting your hands to the sides of your head, you pressed in, squeezing your eyes shut. “Stop, stop, stop,” you whispered desperately, tone bordering on a sob.

It was getting dark slowly, steadily. You knew he’d be getting worried by now, and if you didn’t hurry back he’d come looking. Inhaling shakily, you forced your feet to turn around even though they wanted to run in the other direction.

The sky was orange and blue when you reached the house, finding Finnick hunched over on the front porch. He was sitting on one of the wooden chairs, head in his hands, fingers combing through his golden hair. When your weight on the boards sounded in a creak he looked up, getting to his feet in an instant. “Sweetheart.”

You thought you’d cried yourself dry, but you’d forgotten you were born of the sea. And the sea never runs out of water. When tears poured down your cheeks again Finnick held out his arms and you ran into them. He was your sun, your source. You couldn’t live without him if you tried and now he was about to go off into death’s shadow again.

Why was it him? Not that you wanted somebody else to see this fate, but why your Finnick? You needed him here with you. He was the only thing that kept the dark clouds at bay. The worst part was that you could have been the one to go with him.

Maybe you would have accepted it then. When your name had been called there’d been a shock in your heart but also a sickening strike of relief. You would be together in the Capitol, and you could protect him the way he always protected you.

Little did you know that Finnick had discussed it with Mags beforehand. It had been her idea. She was the last person you wanted to go through the rigorous stages of the Hunger Games, especially at her age. You’d screamed in horror in front of all those people when she volunteered, trying to rush forward but Finnick held you back, pushing your face into his chest as you cried. You couldn’t remember what he’d whispered to calm you down on live television but whatever it was helped him get you off the stage and back home, where you’d scurried off to the beach and he’d let you.

“Why won’t you let me go with you?” you breathed, voice stammering as you clung to his white sweater. “I w-won’t let you go without me. I’ll come for the Games-”

“No,” he said firmly, stroking the back of your head. A cool evening breeze made you shiver and he held you tighter to him. “You’ll stay here and try not to watch. Please don’t watch.”

“They might make me come anyways,” your voice hitched. “I can’t stand not being near you. Please-”

“No.” He kissed your forehead. “You need to be here. By the water.”

“Finnick.” Your emotions were heightening and you felt nearly angry at him, fisting his sweater. “Don’t do this.”

“I won’t let Snow get any ideas in his head about using you when I’m not there to protect you,” he said, tilting your face in his hands up to look at him. “I won’t let him be able to get to you easy.”

“Finn,” you tried but he shook his head and you knew the fight was lost. Wrenching yourself away from him you went into the house, not bothering to shut the door behind you. Kicking off your shoes, you ignored the constant feel of sand under your feet and stalked into the kitchen. Reaching for a glass, you filled it with water, still hazy from what he’d just said.

“Baby?” You ignored him, determinedly staring out the window. Grey clouds were shadowing the sunset, and you watched as rain started to patter down on the porch. It was pounding at the roof now, the way demons nagged at your head. During your Games it had rained excessively, and the fight you had won against your final opponent had been in a grueling thunderstorm that left you shaking and unable to be coaxed from for months.

It was ironic how much the rain affected you, given how much you loved your beloved ocean. You tried to reason with it over and over, telling yourself that it was only water, but so far the effort had gone unnoticed by your subconscious. It certainly wasn’t helping now; you were gripping the edge of the counter, knuckles paling.

“Hey,” Finnick whispered, a hand on your waist. “Let’s-”

“I’m fine,” you snapped, immediately feeling guilty for it. He removed his hand but didn’t leave although you wished he would. You didn’t want to cry anymore in front of him.

Thunder echoed across the sky, paired with a finger of lightning splitting the clouds in two. Flinching, you tried to breathe, but it was shaky. The storm paired with your distress over the events of the evening was a nasty combination that threatened to surround you in darkness.

Finnick tried again. “Baby, just come here. It’s okay.”

“No,” you whimpered, but when another instance of thunder rattled the house the glass of water slid from your fingers and shattered in the sink. Finnick grunted and moved forward, taking you into his arms and this time you didn’t resist.

“Shh, I’ve got you. I’m here.” Finnick started to guide you away from the sink even when you mumbled that you needed to clean up the glass. “No, I’ll take care of it. Just come with me.”

He brought you to the bathroom and turned the shower on, sitting you on the counter while he got out your towels and undressed himself before helping you. Hurrying you inside, he shut the glass door behind him and pulled you back into him so your ear was over his heart. The steady thumping combined with the noise of the water drowned out the thunder and lightning you so dreaded. Your breathing grew more even and you found it in you to relax. He was so warm and his hands were gentle as he helped you calm down. You knew thunderstorms upset him too but he hung on.

You weren’t sure how long you both were in there before he got you out and toweled you off, dressing you in his warm blue fisherman’s sweater and getting you in bed with him. One of your fleeting thoughts as you drifted off was that you hoped he would leave it behind when he went off to the Games, and that sent you into despair all over again. This time though, you were already half asleep and there was nothing you could do about it.

“I’m here,” he murmured over and over, stroking your side. “I’ve got you.”

For now, you thought as your eyes fluttered shut. For now.

He’d told you that he’d leave for the train station before you woke up. You knew why but that didn’t stop you from wanting to at least be conscious for when he did.

When the mattress creaked as he got up you woke, staying perfectly still. Listening to the sounds of him getting ready, throwing his things into a bag, you tried to keep your tears to yourself. It hadn’t been a dream. He was really leaving.

As you thought of the horrible thunderstorm last night a sense of dread struck you. You didn’t know how to keep calm when the noise threatened to tear you in two. Since you’d come home from the Games only Finnick had been able to nurse you back to sanity.

In the next room you heard him speaking on the phone. Who could he possibly be talking to right now, when he was about to leave? You were tempted to get up but you stayed put, cozied under the covers where he’d tucked you last night. Even though the house was heated, you suddenly felt so chilly without his body next to you.

You listened to him walk back into the bedroom, trying to keep the illusion of your slumber. Finnick sat on the bed beside you, hand warming your waist. He murmured, “I know you’re awake, baby.”

Springing up, you flung your arms around his neck, hiding your face there. He held on tight to you and seemed to breathe you in. “How’re you feeling, sweet girl?”

“Don’t leave,” you pleaded, fisting the fabric of his linen shirt. “Please. Please don’t go.”

“Oh, angel,” he whispered, rocking you back and forth. “Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

“I want to come,” you said, and he started to lay you back down. Finnick brushed your hair from your face as he leaned over you, one arm on your far side propping himself up so he wouldn’t crush you. His other hand lingered at your cheek, brushing it with the back of his thumbnail. He was nose to nose with you, staring into your eyes with a sort of devotion that made your insides weaken.

“Do you want the song?” he asked, brushing his lips to the tip of your nose. “Hmm?”

“I want you to stay,” you sniffled, eyes growing watery. “Finn-”

He started to hum the old shanty about a fisherman and his lover and how he brought her pearls and she had one for every day he came back from the sea. You started to cry softly but he didn’t let up, stroking your hair and finishing the melody. The repeated motions caused your eyes to grow heavy, but you refused to shut them. Not while you could still look at him.

“I love you,” Finnick breathed, kissing you once. “Don’t watch. Trust that I’ll do everything I can to come home to you.”

You nodded, and he kissed you one more time, every inch of love and need contained in it. It was his parting gift to you and you’d cherish it all through his absence. Even if it turned out to be forever.

He made you close your eyes before he left, another kiss to your forehead the only goodbye he’d ever utter. You were asleep before you could hear his footsteps leading away.

When you woke up again you were in a cloud of pure devastation. He was gone and heaven knew if he would ever come back. All you could do was sit up and stare at your hands in your lap for a while. The house felt haunted without him and yet more crowded than ever. Your demons were crawling up every wall and taunting you without your protector to scare them away.

The doorbell snapped you out of your trance. You wearily lifted yourself to trudge through the house and open the door, confused when nobody was there. A tiny meow made you turn your head to the side, and you gasped.

A basket on the porch bench containing a black kitten, pink bow around its neck and a card with your name on it behind it. You melted, reaching out to pet its head and smiling when a tiny but powerful purr started up. “Oh, hello,” you whispered, smiling softly. “What’s your name?”

The kitten mewed, climbing out of the basket and onto your lap when you sat down. Your heart seemed to grow as you watched it curl up against you and close its eyes. Remembering the card, you opened it eagerly, wondering who’d sent such a precious gift.

Sweetheart,

His name is Fish. He’s gonna keep you company while I’m gone. He is trained to jump on you whenever you turn the TV on so I’m going to trust that you will not do that :) I love you and we’re gonna snuggle all together when I come home.

Love,

Finnick

He’d drawn a little heart next to his name and you touched it, smiling softly. Still looking out for you even when he was away. You lifted the kitten to hold against your chest, kissing his head and breathing more evenly as he purred, looking out for you the way you knew your love would have.

He was going to come home. You knew it now more than ever.

#save tag #look at me #fanfic #fan fic #fan fiction

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