shittymagicideas - Tumblr blog

[shittymagicideas]

How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn’t cool anymore?

[shittymagicideas]

Witch tip

Eat a tarot card to gain it’s powers

[shittymagicideas]

me: [walks into a psychic’s shop and slams down my tarot cards] it’s time to duel

[shittymagicideas]

to everyone that practices divination

if you’re ever unhappy with a reading, eat the tarot card

[shittymagicideas]

shitty magic idea #7

use a spell to make sure trump wins

[shittymagicideas]

shitty magic idea #6

throw tarot cards in boiling hot soup for a new and innovative reading

[shittymagicideas]

shitty magic idea #5

murder a witch to steal their powers

[shittymagicideas]

shitty magic idea #4

set yourself on fire if you don't have a candle for a ritual

[shittymagicideas]

shitty magic idea #3

replace salt for purification with cocaine

[shittymagicideas]

shitty magic idea #2

sledgehammer a crystal into tiny pieces and mix it in your morning coffee for magic effects based on the crystal

[shittymagicideas]

shitty magic idea #1

burn seven 100 dollar bills for a quick and easy wealth spell