shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog - Tumblr blog

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Sirius: James what if your baby is a centaur?

James: what?

Sirius: I'm just saying what happens when animagus has a kid?

James: well I'm a stag anyway

Sirius: you know what I mean!

James: shut up Sirius

*much later*

James: lily are you awake?

Lily: what?

James: you'd be able to tell if the baby was half stag right?

Lily: I can tell he's half an idiot.

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Honestly they should have put the part in the Goblet of fire (book) where the Weasleys pick up Harry at the Dursleys in the movie. How funny would it be to see a purple toungue growing out of Dudley while Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia freak out even more than we've ever seen😂

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

One of the funniest Snape-Harry moments😂Alan Rickman played Snape so well

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Head canon this: -Marauders needing a secret place where no one will find out what they are working on -Peter leaning against a wall that suddenly caves in, finding himself in the Room of Requirement -James, Remus, and Sirius just marvel at the whole room -Sirius: "Alright lets magic the crap out of this"

Okay so, the marauders map can see people even when they’re hidden underneath the cloak of invisibility, right?

Yet Death can’t find people hidden under that cloak…

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

JUST HOW DID A GANG OF TEENAGERS MANAGE TO CREATE THAT MAP??????

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Yep.

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Slytherins and Gryffindors

When a Gryffindor gets angry and storms out of a room, they get their satisfaction in slamming the door behind them. But when a Slytherin gets angry, they storm out leaving the door open because they find more satisfaction in knowing they made you get up to close it instead.

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Omg this is so me

Secrets of Slytherin no.60

We procrastinate, not because we’re lazy, but because we’re perfectionists. If we can’t do it perfectly, what’s the point of doing it at all? 

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Slytherin Secrets no outsider will ever know.

1. The nights get ridiculously cold in the dungeons during the winter, you see. Sometimes not even the warming charms seem to cut it, so if everyone brings their blankets down to the common room and they sleep next to each other for body heat, no one needs to know that.

2. Horror stories told by the bloody baron under candlelight are a tradition during stormy nights. He even promises that one day, he might tell them just how he got bloody.

3. Slytherins don’t play ‘muggle’ games, absolutely not, specially not on Saturdays with a bottle of fire whiskey. So if you ever see empty bottles that you think might have been used to truth or dare or spin the bottle, or if you ever see a monopoly or dungeons and dragons box, you are imagining things, obviously.

4. Sometimes, if you ask nicely enough, the mermaids will agree to make small ‘theatrical plays’ for you and your friends. So be kind to them and enjoy funny and dramatic ‘pirate’ stories.

5. One particular night that they’ll never, ever talk about again, is when they were drinking fire whiskey and drank past “having a good time” straight into “getting emotional” and then proceeded to talk about how sad it made them that all houses seemed to think they’re evil.

6. “Guys… am I the only one who doesn’t like Professor Snape?” “oh thank fuck it’s not just me.”

7. “The half-blood fifth year brought muggle sweets.” “Muggle sweets?” “Try them. These Reese’s are the best thing I’ve ever had.”

8. “Let’s make a bet on what stunt Potter will pull at the end of the year.”

9. Someone once suggested that every Slytherin should take a shot whenever Draco complained about Harry. No amount of hangover potion could make 17+ Slytherins get out of bed the next morning.

10. A few boys and girls found out about an LGBT+ meeting club the Hufflepuffs were holding. So ever since then, Hufflepuff and Slytherin LGBT+ members meet up every Thursday at 6 o'clock.

11. The Slytherin common room always smells incredible. The Hufflepuffs give them ‘scented candles’, you see.

12. Planning trips together all over Europe. Fulfilling those plans during the winter and summer holidays.

13. Slytherins don’t prank you with moldy cheese or explosive artifacts. Oh no. You make a fellow Slytherin mad and you won’t find your robes or your skirts next morning. Someone will pull on your feet while you sleep.

(Some are modern, some aren’t) Feel free to continue!

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Things Slytherin don't want to tell you

1.) They love the color green however they also like maroon and gold. But wouldn't be caught in the common room in such jumpers.

2.) They're really into classic rock and punk. However the occasional pop song may play on their Spotify.

3.) Secretly tries things like water color and knitting.

4.) Asks Ravenclaw for book recommendations (usually smutty books).

5.) Hides sweets.

6.) they trades potions homework with hufflepuffs in order to get soft blankets. You haven't lived until you've seen a slytherin in a yellow comforter burrito.

7.) Enjoys wool socks and is secretly the little spoon.

8.) Says they don't want any of your tea but then pinches a sip while you aren't looking.

9.) They all secretly wanna play with Hagrid's creatures. He has a Hydra dragon!!!!

10.) Really want to help the first years but don't wanna seem soft. So they whisper the answers in class and put extra blankets on their beds while no one is looking.

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

“But Hagrid, we’re not allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts. You know that.” “I do. But your cousin don’t, do he?”

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

They are so much like their characters it's almost scary😂

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

Hogwarts Houses

Hufflepuff: We are ignoring this situation

Ravenclaw: We are staying out of this situation

Gryffindor: We are dealing with this situation

Slytherin: We might’ve started this situation

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]

[shrewdsalazarslytherin-blog]