sillyflipping - Tumblr blog

[sillyflipping]

I hate tumblr this whole place is super toxic im gonna delete this app

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Back at the place of my former legal guardians. I hate it here. Yes there is food water and a bed, I can take a shower, but there is no human connection. They scream and yell at each other all the time, this is partially because they are old and hard of hearing and don't want to use any other form of communication, but it hurts my ears and literally my throat gets sore because I have to scream every word or they won't hear me. We are on good terms now but there's a reason I left. They abused me my whole childhood. I'm an adult now which gives me more freedom but I still live under their boot in some way or another. If I ever just up and left I know they would call the cops on me and false report me as a missing person. All they do is argue with each other, scream, yell, blast Fox News and their shitty fash politics.

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i am so lonely i'm on grindr trying to trade sex for human connection. so far i'm unsucessful in even doing that. i'm literally some type of asexual. i don't like sex the majority of the time. i literally just feel like i'm in solitary confinement again. This is why I was afraid to leave that relationship even tho it was toxic and emotionally manipulative. I have one friend in real life and they're busy a lot. I feel like I'm back in solitary. There's no difference. I'm terrified to be alone and I'm terrified to talk to strangers. I get dissociative seizures from both so where's the winning? Life is a fucked up paradox

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No covid !!

Let's play a game of "is it covid, nic withdrawl, or just good ol regular fatigue?"

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Rest stop life

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Let's play a game of "is it covid, nic withdrawl, or just good ol regular fatigue?"

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every time I find a pill on the ground I take it home with me and draw a picture of it with crayons. here's the collection so far.

^ the very first pill I found & drew. couldn't identify it (markings rubbed off) but it looked very beautiful to me.

^pill no. 2: fluoxetine. my greatest find and finest crayon drawing. sorry to whoever lost their fluoxetine. I'll save it for a special occasion. I used a sharpie pen to clean up some lines on this one I think.

^ pill no. 3: ibuprofen. accidentally closed my laptop on this one, destroying it. and getting goop on my laptop. I found another one though. People drop a lot of painkillers. The first 2 used only colors from the classic 24 pack of crayons, but I had to break out extras from my childhood crayon collection for this one.

^pill no. 4: benadryl. this pill was crumbling inside its plastic when I found it, but it was intact enough to take home and draw! Hooray.

^pill no. 5: midol. this one was real scuffed up. I actually found an entire bottle of midol on another occasion, and someone's last 2 weeks of birth control yet another time, but those are the kind of things I leave behind because someone's likely to miss their entire bottle of midol or sealed birth control and come back for it.

^pill no. 6: unfinished advil/ibuprofen. I find a lot of painkillers, as mentioned, so I guess I got bored. I also have a drawing of acetaminophen that I am not posting because I don't like it.

^pill no. 7: severe tylenol. I didn't know such a thing existed until I found it on the ground. "severe tylenol" makes it sound like the tylenol is mean. this was among the more challenging ones and it's kinda rushed, but drawing the plastic was fun. just did this one an hour ago.

in case you're wondering, I do keep the pills when possible. I like to hold onto my reference material. they live in a separate box from my vintage ibuprofen collection.

[sillyflipping]

𓋼𓍊𓋼 𓋼𓍊𓋼

𓋼𓍊 𓋼𓍊

𓍊𓋼 𓍊𓋼

𓋼𓍊 𓋼𓍊

𓋼𓍊𓋼 𓋼𓍊𓋼

[sillyflipping]

I support Free Palestine 🇵🇸 btw !!

[sillyflipping]

No longer panickin abt it im chillin but im sad and not tryna relapse so i wanna be around people, anyone, I deadass went on Grindr and almost traded sex for a place to stay tn 😭

Unironically i'm p messed up abt it rn

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Just got some bullshit straightend out w my car insurance, some dumbass paperwork stuff

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I will save these for later 🍄

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Unironically i'm p messed up abt it rn

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I broke up with my partner

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true 😔

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Shit Ive been on

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Crashing at a frens place on the couch tn