simfromnowhere - Tumblr blog

[simfromnowhere]

“Do you think Jesus, the son of a carpenter, smelled the wood of the cross and briefly thought of home?”

I often think about how, time and again, I've decided not to seek pain to feel love. Pain isn't equal to love. However, many times, I forget my own decision. That's how I chose you.

Now, don’t get me wrong, you were a wonderful experience. You made me laugh the night I thought I might die. You listened in the mornings when anxiety peaked after that hot cup of extra caffeine. You called me an 'enigma' when I believed I was an open almanac at best.

So, how can I separate the you that hurt me from the you that made me smile?

[simfromnowhere]

I just saw a text I sent myself from his phone a few months ago when we were "together"

It said:

Hey, I'm in a lose-lose situation.

Yeah, I feel that's the closure I needed. The fact that I knew that something would end is enough for me to know there's no point of heartbreak.

[simfromnowhere]

Tubbo posted on Twitter!

[simfromnowhere]

there are like five rules to life and those rules are

1. eat 3 meals a day & keep a snack on u

2. always have a non alcoholic drink with you

3. never trust anything you think about your life after 8-9pm

4. do a little something for urself every day

5. interact with a Beast at least once a day (human, feline, canine, lizard, bird, etc)

and the secret 6th rule:

6. if you can't do all of those rules, just do the ones you can

[simfromnowhere]

I don't want them back.

For I can't sit for hours and hours besides them and wait for those eyes too look at mine instead of the screen.

For I can't always wait with the stupid eager high in my voice answering the phone on first ring when they call.

For I can't be just a challenge for them, to want me when I leave and push me when I stay.

It's hard to just stand with the fact that I know that they know how to love, I've seen them before, but this time they just chose not to love me well.

So I don't want them back.

What would you do to have [them] back?

[simfromnowhere]

I don't think I've ever fallen out of love and maybe that's why i remember everything. But I've seen people fall out of it, and they forget. And you know, seeing them forget things you remember them remembering once, hurts the most.

[simfromnowhere]

The spark in the eyes. The spark. The eyes.

Late nights when you just go for a walk, cause the summer breeze decides to pour in some relief and they decide to come along with you because why not, it's you. There's an evident spark in the eyes. In yours and in theirs. Or maybe it's just the moonlight or the streetlamps, glistening the cornea.

But then summer decides to leave on the first train in the morning. And there are no more late night walks. And no more of you and no more of them. It's just a bedroom ceiling of the dark room. So, you see, how even will the eyes even shine?

Who is no longer there?

[simfromnowhere]

Going through our old texts

I see that most of our late-night conversations are about love, and how ironic and brutal that we both talk about love with such conviction for two people who claim to not believe in it, that it's almost hysterical. 

[simfromnowhere]

The silence and emptiness of my room scarily similar to something, which I am quite unsure of. And everytime I talk, my voice echoes back and forth these walls before entering my own ears. As, I'm writing this, I wonder do you even understand what I mean to say, cause I'm still new in this game of expressing. Are they like the medieval poetry to a modern age child or are you a connoisseur, who actually understands these. I'm still figuring out how these words sound to you everytime you read them. Do you fathom them or it's just another gibberish?

@nosebleedclub July prompts

[simfromnowhere]

They don't make love songs now, the ones that we could listen to, while walking around the same road again and again, until it's time to go back home. Sorry I've been a little distant lately. The paragraphs which included 34 emotions have turned into one-word text messages. I know I've been like that old television channel that plays the static sound all day long. The noise prickles through the skin like needles, but I am an addict now. I know these words don't make sense, so I'm just waiting in my funeral suit.

You see it's been too long since I hugged someone and buried my face in their chest, and their grip just became tighter. It's been too long since someone rested their head on my shoulder and I felt the ecstasy which was out of the world. I know these things don't matter anymore, but there's a reason why they add good before night.

@nosebleedclub

[simfromnowhere]

If given a choice, I'd like to die on a Wednesday. Middle of the week. It isn't as rough as Mondays and Tuesdays, it doesn't give you the anticipation of when will the weekend come, like Thursdays and Fridays. It's simple. It just exists, there, like a normal day where everything is mundane.

Just imagine you're working, normally, thinking the day will just go by, finishing tasks, completing things on your to-do list but not with extreme enthusiasm (cause you still have 2 more working days this week) and in the middle of the day you receive a message. It says "she passed away at 12:40pm". Will it be different for you or just another Wednesday? I hope people who receive the message go for the latter one. Cause you still have to work for 2 more days, and grief can wait in my case.