sinsays

[sinsays]

[sinsays]

More of my guys, Doppel and Ginger!

[sinsays]

You know what's annoying? Society calling people struggling with poverty 'lazy'. When usually we're either dealing with disabilities, ADHD, Autism, etc. We work HARD to survive and do our best with the hands we were dealt with. We're anything but lazy.

You know who is actually lazy? Rich people. (Millionaires and especially Billionaires) They're entitled snobs who hardly do any sort of hard labor or real work. They're constantly vacationing or just delegating the work they're supposed to be doing to everyone else instead. If they only inherited their wealth, it's even worse because wtf do they even do. They do not do anything that actually gives them real stress. They mooch off society. They mooch off their country. They are greedy dragons just lounging on their hoards and burning those who work so hard just to get a small percent.

They do not deserve the wealth they have.

Eat the rich.

[sinsays]

One last tribute for my mom before returning to regularly scheduled content. This is a short about an alternate Derpy who is a single mother trying to comfort her daughter.

Premier is at 9:00am PST on Feb 1st.

[sinsays]

Memorial video for mom premiers at 12:00 PM PST in about an hour

[sinsays]

Room mate is reccomending I post our PO box again due to recent events with my mom's death in the fire. If anyone wants to send letters or care packages we'd really appreciate it. We are open for shelf stable food, cards, comfort items, "spa day" type items, gift baskets, things like that.

Send to:

Jack W.

16055 SW Walker Rd #274 Beaverton, OR, 97006

And if anyone’s feeling generous I do have an amazon wishlist that people should be able to buy and send stuff from without needing to be the middleman. I don’t update it much, it’s mostly comics and snacks, but you should be able to organize it by priority to get a better idea of what things I’m most interested in. You can even add other stuff to the order that isn’t on the list and it will still be shipped to my P.O. Box

AMAZON WISHLIST: https://tinyurl.com/2bk2hnbv (have to use tinyurl link because tumblr blocks amazon links now)

[sinsays]

Aristotle's Apocalypse premiers Saturday the 25th at 10:00am PST

Be sure to be there to catch the first episode as it goes live!

[sinsays]

Go to our bandcamp now to find a memorial album for BaldDumboRat's mother, featuring 6 of her songs, a version of her lullaby recorded over a phone, and 6 covers of "I'll Wrap You in Rainbows" performed by BaldDumboRat and other composers.

Listen for free, but consider buying the album, as all proceeds go to her funeral costs.

[sinsays]

She often wrote poems and would read them to us on special occasions or write poems for us.

I wanted to write a poem in her honor, though I'm rusty in my writing, I just hope it gets my feels across.

A Robin flew into my life, Offering love and nurturing that I had missed. Not caring I was not her family, she took me in as her own. Voice of hope, she sang songs of bright. Bringing care and kindness, she touched everyone's hearts. Wings used to write, she lifted everyone with stories and poems. She sang she'd wrap us in rainbows, and she did just that. She wrapped us in rainbows. Only in my life briefly, but always remembered. Fly on strong wings, Robin, you will be missed. May we meet again on the horizon.

Memorial for Mom

Very painful news. I learned that my mother died in an apartment fire earlier today. She had been struggling with a manic episode for the past 8 months, not getting the help she desperately needed. I am going to make a memorial video for her to post on the Ponies With Pockets channel, and I want to ask if anyone wants to draw something in remembrance of her. You can submit to my inbox or email jitterbugcommissions@gmail.com Things to know about her that might help with ideas: -She loved birds, especially robins and cockatiels. Her name was Robin. -Her favorite movie was Hook, with Robin Williams who was her favorite actor -Her biggest special interest outside the Bible was the Beatles. She was especially obsessed with John Lennon. -She wrote the Derpy lullaby people might know, the "Wrap You in Rainbows" one, it was originally for me as a baby -She deeply believed in angels -Her favorite authors were JR Tolkein, and CS Lewis -She loved going to renaissance faires -She adored Dr Demento and Weird Al -Her favorite Disney movie is Dumbo because like Dumbo's mother, she was almost separated from her baby for being "too dangerous" due to mental health -She loved playing guitar -She was insanely kind, to a fault, so kind that many awful people took advantage of her kindness. She suffered a lot through life but never stopped being kind and hopeful, and seeing the best in people. -Favorite colors were purple and robin's egg blue -Was a writer and often represented herself with a robin, her slogan was "writing that sings"

Here are some photos of her:

[sinsays]

I'm not sure how to handle this. I've been crying off and on but I don't think it has fully hit yet.

She had accepted me like I was one of her own kids after Jitty and I told her we saw each other as siblings. She invited me into her family. She'd get me gifts just like she would with her own son.

I've lost another family member to fire. I'm doing my best to be here for Jitty. But man, this sucks so much and we're both hurting.

I'm also just furious at the healthcare system, because this was 100% preventable if they had just properly stepped in to help. She was mentally unwell and incapable of properly taking care of herself alone, a year under the senior age.

Just, man, everything sucks right now.

Really awful news

My mom died in an apartment fire today.

8 months of being manic, not getting the help she needed

and this is what happens

my worst fear in this whole situation was her complete lack of self prevervation

she even ran out of the apartment to get help but ran right back in, apparently for her bird which had died over a year ago

I'm in shock

I don't know how to handle any of this

I don't know how to do funeral arrangements or who her friends are

I don't have money

I just feel really numb and broken right now.

[sinsays]

Started a Gofundme due to healthcare situation

Started this because I really don't know what's going to happen next and I'm scared.

[sinsays]

Sometimes I wish I wasn't struggling to survive or physically disabled so that I could actually fight for myself and everyone else that we all deserve the right to a proper healthcare system for the people (not the ceos/business), the right to proper disability funds (ie: Get paid a proper living wage that does not consider whether or not the individual has a spouse because it should not be the spouse's job to fully support their partner financially), and the right to a proper living wage. (ie: enough to own a basic home on a stable income.)

But I don't have that option, so all I can do is tell people who ARE able to, to PLEASE fight. Fight for everyone struggling to have a better future.

[sinsays]

So let me explain my bullshit situation.

I'm losing my state healthcare that has been covering all my needs for years now, even though I made less than I made last year.

This is the cheapest healthcare I qualify for. I make about 30K a year. They expect over a third of my income to go into medical care. I have to pay 360+ a month so that I still have to pay for appointments and meds, just "a little less".

-State healthcare was paying my room mate as my Personal Care Assistant, but she's losing that job because of this on Jan 31st which means the household will have 400 less to work with

-Rent costs 1740

-State healthcare threshold is 1780

-After taxes I make about 1800 a month from my job, before taxes around up to 2400 depending on the days I worked

-Room mate can only provide a few hundred at best without the PCA job because the art commission market is dying

-Cheapest insurance costs 370+, and many still come with added costs for meds and appointments

-Have MANY health needs, pre-diabetes, sleep apnea, psychotic mood disorder, acid reflux, ADHD, anxiety, transitional care, in desperate need of a surgery on a persistent cyst, plus some other miscellaneous health needs

-None of the insurances cover my antipsychotic injections which are vital because I cannot keep up with physical medications consistently

-None of the insurances cover all the clinics I'm with right now, many don't cover any of them at all

-Can't really afford to have less hours without having a cheaper place to live

-Most places want renters to make 3x the rent, and low income housing has a long long waitlist

-Make too much money to qualify for housing aid

So tell me the system isn't a big fucking nasty trap to make sure poor people are as miserable as fucking possible with no way out of being poor outside a godamn miracle

[sinsays]

Happy New Years! Starting this year with a new comic, this one I'm just doing for fun. So don't expect this to have an upload schedule, when I wanna draw a page- I'll draw a page. Basically. I will also not be doing anything too complicated for finishing these pages, mostly just lined flat color with minimal shading but for parts such as this cover and chapter covers or important scenes will have the more full shading and detail. This story will have mostly my characters and my friend Zenko's characters, which are basically original characters that have their own lives and stories outside of this PMD story. I'm throwing them in the pokemon world. There is a plot, so hopefully it will be entertaining for those of you that decide to follow. I just felt like I needed a stress-free comic to do just for fun.

Comic gets uploaded to comicfury first: https://pmdstuckinaglitch.thecomicseries.com/ Rosey, Sin, and Megan (C) me

[sinsays]

Emergency Commissions

Hey guys, this month has been pretty rough for my roommate and me, and we're short on being able to pay some bills. We only have enough for rent right now, but we need to pay electricity and storage too plus a credit card payment, and I need money for food cuz I mostly only have rice and canned veggies right now.

We'd probably need about $500 to pay off all the bills and have enough for food for a bit.

The problem is my commission queue is extremely intimidating right now, so I really can't do a sale or offer more slots. Repeat customers (have had 3 or more commissions from me) are welcome to commission me but it's going to be a while before I can get any new commissions done unless a priority fee is paid.

However, my room mate is open for commissions and is in need of them, so if you want to help support us please consider commissioning @sinsays

Her info is here: https://sinligereep.carrd.co/

As usual, donations are welcome if you just want to donate to my ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/jitterbugjive

[sinsays]

On that note, I also share the same PO box, so if you guys want to send anything my way too that'd also be appreciated. (Addressed as Sinnamon)

Jitty's family had been kind enough to even include me in their gatherings, so for a while it had been nice to have someplace to go for the holidays that wasn't just my parents. It means a lot to me that they've included me. So it has been disheartening that his family isn't able to do anything this year as we don't really have anyone else family-wise to be with for holidays. All my family is across the country and we don't have the funds or means for travel (and in the case of my parents, I wouldn't really want to stay in the same building as my mom for too long so I'd need a hotel room too >.>). I had really been looking forward to the christmas gathering with Jitty's family this year, but it can't be helped.

Okay... I'll Accept Holiday Letters...

So, anyone who has followed me long enough knows by now how I get around the holidays. Seasonal depression kicks in, and bad memories of old toxic Thanksgivings and Christmases flood my brain any time I see or hear reminders of them. Plus there's some trauma from living in poverty and having very little around the holidays and the only people willing to exploit my mentally ill mother for work was the Salvation Army who basically pay pennies. And there's a whole lot more I don't like, like the cold, Christmas Carols, etc.

However.

The last couple of years I finally got to have proper family holiday get togethers since the toxic people in the family are gone now, and it was very healing for me. I still despise the holidays, don't get me wrong, they are mostly miserable for me. I generally tell people to not address the holidays with me.

But... I've been going through a LOT this year. Especially the last 6 months with my mother being manic and getting her whole life messed up. I've also been dealing with another family member experiencing psychosis on and off as well that I haven't felt comfortable talking about. The results of the election and things Oregon was voting on are not helping me feel any better, and I fear that winter depression is going to be hitting me like a truck. I can feel it creeping in already now that the weather is getting under 40F. On top of that, my family isn't in a state right now where anyone can feasibly host Thanksgiving or Christmas, so it's a bit of a lonely one this year. Sure, I have friends I can spend time with, but I was just getting used to the family dinners. Overall, this is just going to be a very hard winter for me.

And for once, I'm going to ask people to lend a bit of the Holiday Spirit (tm) my way, because I really need some pick-me ups to get through the rest of the year. Basically all I'm asking for is for people to send me letters of encouragement through my PO Box. Gifts and fan art are welcome too, I keep all my fan art safe. I'd prefer not to get flat-out christmas cards unless the cards are really nice or creative and have a lot of thought put into what's written in them. I could just really use some kind words and there's something that feels a lot more personal about physical letters that I can store away and pull out on a rainy day.

Please note I have a pea brain that can't read cursive very well, so if possible I'd prefer it be in plain print or typed out.

If you send treats they need to be shelf stable and properly sealed, no home baked goods.

My P.O. Box: (Can be addressed to Jitterbug or Jack)

16055 SW Walker Rd #274Beaverton, OR, 97006

And if anyone's feeling generous I do have an amazon wishlist that people should be able to buy and send stuff from without needing to be the middleman. I don't update it much and a lot of stuff is outdated but you should be able to organize it by priority to get a better idea of what things I'm most interested in. You can even add other stuff to the order that isn't on the list and it will still be shipped to my P.O. Box!

AMAZON WISHLIST

[sinsays]

I'm so sick and tired of being beaten down again and again and again and again. It's been something that's been happening all my life, the 33 years. I've been struggling all my life, constantly being optimistic and hopeful that things will get better. I work hard to the best of my abilities with the cards I've been dealt.

I grew up in a poor family with my mom on disability and my dad working constantly plus overtime, so I did my best to be on my best behavior and get good grades. I graduated with A's and B's with the hope that my grades would help me get a good job or a way into good college. Turns out the grades mean nothing as I spent several years applying constantly to jobs and getting no job.

I was then pressured to go into college, so I did but it was an Art Institute which turned out to be a scam. I wasn't a part of it for long, thankfully, but still. I then left my parents to live with friends.

A lot of chaos and shit happened over the years since then, but still I did my best working hard as an artist to bring in some form of income. I did eventually get hired to a grocery store, but I come to find out that I am physically disabled like my mom. I can not do most jobs due to the fact that I'm in agony if I'm standing/walking/etc. for longer than 5 minutes. That combined with my other limitations that make phone jobs not an option meant that I would have to go full time with my art career because at least I was earning money that way.

I was able to go through the paths that would give me the updated equipment that would allow me to do a lot more in the art/entertainment side of things. I did it through the sheer amount of hard work I did, experience I had, and the amount of knowledge I have.

I did all that, though now I feel like it might have been too late. The economy is shit. Things are only going to get worse depending on what the final results of the election will be.

Everything I feel is worse too because I'm an empath. I feel a lot of what my friends/family feel. I feel their fear and upset. I worry for them and myself. A lot of shit keeps happening to Jitty too and it's not fair.

A lot of shit keeps happening out of our control. There's literally nothing more that I can do.

I'm tired, burnt out, frustrated, angry, upset. We desperately need a break, a proper vacation, but that ain't happening. We need a bigger place to live. We need so many things.

How much fucking longer do I have to be on this god forsaken earth, for fucks sake take out the god damn pillar and let me fall. I just want it to be over with if this is just going to be my life forever. It isn't worth it.