siyasantlani111

[siyasantlani111]

Emotional Regulation~

Hi guys I just want to write about this topic because it has personally helped me so much. Today I'm going to teach you guys to regulate your emotions because no one taught us that not even our parents and that's okay.

What is emotional regulation? Its knowing how to process your emotions.

There are two types of emotions we all face that is

A) Proportionate to reality

B) Disproportionate to reality ( triggered emotions)

So today I'm going to teach you guys on how to process your emotions muah.

A) Proportionate to reality

We all experience emotions on a regular basis however the proportionate to reality are the ones which are normal reactions and don't stem from trauma. I'm not invalidating any emotions here fyi.

1) Journalling~

So I know that if you're mad at someone or really sad you don't want to pick up your journal and jott it down, but honestly it's so good to do that even I used to be the person who would just throw like a tantrum at someone if they made me mad, and honestly it's good be expressive. However your level of expression matters. Sometimes you just can't throw a tantrum or punch them on the face (jk) so you can journal about it.

2)Blow a candle

Take a deep breath if you feel extremely anxious or nervous like you're blowing a candle . It helps me calm my nervous system down so much, because I'm literally an anxious attachment girlie. Recently I was talking to someone and I got really excited and couldn't sleep at night because I was so happy to welcome the other day I had to literally blow a candle haha. Taking deep breaths bore the living shits out of me but I love this one it helps so much, it worked like a game changer.

5)Sleep~

If you're too stressed or too anxious or anything which makes you feel frustrated or stressed, sleep. I was once really overwhelmed and my therapist told me to just sleep it off. And yeah it really helps sometimes all you need is a good beauty nap of 17 hours.

6)Dance it off

Dancing is my therapy i could just dance and dance and dance my emotions out like it's just such a beauty to feel emotions and dancing it off is an amazing expression.

7)Did I mention cry?

Whoever tells you you cry for sympathy let them, don't ever betray your self because someone can't acknowledge your pain. If you wanna cry you damn cry who cares literally? I'm trying to cultivate this into me too. I don't really like to cry outside. But if something really hurts me I'd now. But crying because you are scared people will judge you is like betraying yourself for them.

B) Disproportionate to reality

These are triggered responses which come from unhealed trauma. One of the best example is social anxiety or approch anxiety. If you're someone who feels like they have a lot of social anxiety you are experiencing a trauma trigger and that's really beautiful. Your triggers are your biggest maps on the journey of healing. We all as humans we naturally seek comfort and whenever we are triggered we want to avoid it. I used to do that too. But honestly triggered emotions are my favourite ones now I thank God everyday when I get to trigger myself you know why? Because finally my subconscious can let go the pain it has holded or unresolved emotional baggage for so long. And that is so beautiful. Whenever you get triggered you would want to resist it because your subconscious has resistance to it but don't resist it let yourself feel it, because when you feel it you heal it.duh.

1) Know your trigger

This is like knowing your shadow self, when you know what triggers you, you are gonna heal it and being triggered is not bad.

2) Trigger your self~

Do something which will trigger you externally and then dive into the way you feel, and if you are not getting emotional you're not triggered enough keep taking that external action. For example You have social anxiety do a social anxiety challenge but that doesn't mean you're healed nah you have to expose yourself to the social situation to a point you feel emotional about it.

3)Meditate/ Release ~

When you're triggered your ego will come up and will pull you back and will tell you don't do it, do it. I don't care how hard it is you know why? Because honestly your trauma will always hold you back from the goals you want. So do it, do something external which triggers you ask yourself how you feel and once you start getting emotional you're triggered now do a letting go meditation. There's a guy on you tube he has a specific channel for this his name is Julien himself. Love him.

Do his meditation he will help you heal

4) Get triggered again ~

Yeah keep getting triggered and keep doing the mediations until you have resolved it. That's it for the day. Muah. 💋

Keep slaying the house boots down💗💗💗

[siyasantlani111]

Who were you before all the conditioning?

Hi guys welcome back to my blog. Today's topic is all about who were you really before all the conditioning? How does your inner child look like? Who was she? Who was he? Did you hustle soo much as a child to prove your worth to a point you will be burnt out for months? Did you prove your worth by getting good grades? And if you didn't then did you punish yourself from r working extra hard more than your bodies capacity? No right! as a child before all the conditioning we weren't really like that. We were free we were ourselves we didn't really feel ashamed or embarrassed of being who we are. Then why don't we sit down and honour our inner child? I genuinely believe our inner child is our most authentic self? Maybe you were a person who always got excited for absolutely for no reason. Or maybe you loved drawing as a kid. Or maybe you were obsessed with a certain cartoon? Maybe you loved dancing like it was the best thing to you? Maybe you loved wearing new clothes and twirled and look into the mirror or kissed it. Go for it do that again. We can't really change the past but we can always look forward to loving and honouring that confident, authentic inner child. Sometimes in our childhood in order to survive we have to take certain roles, maybe you were a sponge as a kid who started absorbing your parents emotion's in oder to feel safe in your environment, and maybe it's affecting you now in your adulthood. Maybe for survival you needed to run eggshells because you never knew what would come next, maybe you needed to have everything under your control. Thats okay. This helped you to survive, because you picked those behaviours up and maybe it might be affecting you today it will heal if you choose to but don't hate on yourself for having these survival mechanisms. But however who were you before all that trauma? Lets honour that and celebrate that. Maybe sit down and ask yourself why did I stop doing that hobby I loved so much as a child? Maybe it could be because your parents didn't approve of it? Maybe they invalidated your love for that,maybe you got rejected by someone, maybe you were criticized.

One of the things i really loved as a child was to dance, I loved it and still do. But I remember there was this one event that happened where I was told as a child that I dance like “i don't really remember but they used like a really bad word” and after that I didn't really enjoy it.Maybe you have a story like this too. Pick your hobby up again maybe you were a kid back then. Now you're not , their opinion doesn't really matter anymore.

Writing letters to your inner child~

This is something I just did today, and y'all should do write a letter to your most hurt self as a child. Write it to your inner child how much you love them and admire them, and tell them the things they wished to hear once.

Thankyou so much for reading my blog I love you guys so much, keep slaying the house boots down. Muah💋

[siyasantlani111]

HOW TO HEAL FROM YOUR TRAUMA~

Hello my beautiful angels today I wanna talk about trauma healing and how to do so. And before you read this I'm just speaking from my set of knowledge and my experiences. So first of all trauma healing requires patience and compassion with yourself. But if you feel like you're aware about your trauma's please make sure you try to get help from an actual licensed professional. Because therapy is a long term process and it takes time too.

The above diagram represents your concious brain and your unconscious brain.

1) Awareness is the key

In order to heal something you need to be conscious (aware) about it. In the beginning of my therapy sessions my therapist lowkey drew this plateau and showed me that we store 95% of things in our unconscious or the subconscious. Every single trauma you have been through is stored in your subconscious brain.

2)let your self feel without judgement ~

Once you are aware, you have to allow yourself to feel it. Now this key point is kind of attached to doing shadow work questions.

3)Shadow work~

Relax shadow work doesn't mean you have to do black magic or witchy woo woo, shadow work means the unconscious parts of you which repressed in your childhood or when you experienced trauma. One of the best ways to do shadow work is literally don't journal it down, yeah don't write it down if it helps you okay. But for me honestly talking about it loudly with myself and letting myself cry when I do shadow work without any judgements. Remember to tell yourself that it's safe to cry and feel whatever you are feeling. Any emotion you feel while doing this activity allow it. It will be liberating . Don't analyse your emotions. Before you do shadow work questions and cry about it let me remind you it's good to do shadow work by planning it rather then randomly, because you will get triggered and we don't want to hurt others because of our own traumas now do we?

4) Take it easy~

Listen it took me 3 years to heal from one of my most toxic patterns. So please don't expect yourself to just get over something really traumatising which happened to you as a kid. Or whenever.

5) Realise you're not your traumas

You are not your traumas babe, yes you went through something difficult but hey it's okay let's not let our trauma's define us.

6) Acceptance or letting go

Recently I was talking to my therapist and she told me I have to just accept myself for whoever I am and accept everything. And I did that which lead me to accept my unconscious parts( shadow)

Sometimes you have to let go of your trauma, letting go means it just doesn't have the same effect on you.

7) Reaffirm it yourself

Last step to trauma healing is reaffirming it to yourself. For example: you did shadow work and realised the reason you don't believe in yourself is because your family didn't in your childhood. Now that you are aware about it re-affirm it to you that “you believe in yourself ”

8) affirmations~

I'll start using these too now that I'm writing

1) it is safe to be who you are

2) you're not going through that now and are safe

3) it is okay to feel whatever you are feeling

4) I'm good enough

5) I'm empowered

6) I love myself with all the compassion I have.

7) I believe in myself

9) Stfu bitch you're hot and a baddie~

Once you know who you're my love no one can shake you, because you're so aware about yourself that no one literally no one can drag you down. When you know who you are my love their opinions would automatically not matter, and you will have unshakeable confidence.muah 💋

[siyasantlani111]

[siyasantlani111]

Keys of the metal cage~

Hi guys welcome back to my blog account today I want to talk about the fact that you have the keys to your own prisons but you just don't realise it haha. So basically what I mean is that sometimes we really undermine ourselves and don't believe in ourselves because the people around us told us that, “we can't ” . However don't you think it's a little ironic? Because what do people around us even know about us? Like literally even a random stranger or a random classmate? Or a person we just became friends with. Sometimes even our loved ones dont believe in us even though they love us and what the best for us I'm not saying that their opinion shouldn't matter, what I'm saying is no one's opinion on what you want to do is valid as yours because you know yourself the best. Not your bestfriend, not your mom, not your dad, not your siblings no one. Again emphasis on their opinions of you do matter if they're a loved one but not as much as yours. But I genuinely wonder why do we lock ourselves up in this cage of undermining ourselves? Because someone told us something?

If you are someone who only feels good about themselves or can take action only after someone else did it or someone else gave you the permission to or validated you. I'm sorry to break this upto you, you are locked in this mental prison. However start realizing that you have the key to this mental prison:)

How? See whenever you make a decision or want to do something just sit fucking down with yourself and ask yourself do I want to do this? Dont go around and ask others, should I? Or what do you think?

Its important to get an insight on other people's opinions however yours is the most important one okay. And once you have your own that's when you can go ask others.

Mastering self validation:

Validate yourself, “tell yourself that you validate you and no matter what you will always validate you”. Once you validate yourself even if someone doesn't validate you it won't hurt much.

Key number three( shadow work questions)

Now my experience on shadow work is that definently do it but be aware you are not your "shadow self". Why am I saying this? See for example: you found out the root cause of your people pleasing behaviour is wanting "approval" which is fine dont judge yourself for it. However after you know the root cause don't become your shadow. Main purpose for shadow work is knowing your self as well as knowing your repressed parts. Also to become more authentic version of thyself.

Key 4 have compassion for yourself:

Do you really care about yourself or are you just taking care of your external self?Treat yourself like you would treat your loved one. And if you don't know how to do that its okay. Imagine having a child like relationship with yourself. Will you force your child to self harm? It could be really hard I get it but have a parent child relationship with yourself . Its really important to treat yourself with kindness and to reparent yourself. It's the first step to self love:)

Key 5 is you are not your inner critic:)

Hey! Ik the inner voice in you could be really critical and could make you feel like you are not good enough, but you are just know that simply

Whenever your inner critic gets too loud have compassion for you I know it's not easy personally I really struggle with it sometimes but hey you got this.

Last key and the most useful one, believe in thyself:

Hey? Can you just and I mean just for one day practice a little bit of self belief? It helps maybe a little unrealistic now not too unrealistic but initially try that?it might help

However this is what I wanted to talk about guys . Until then stay grounded 💖💖

[siyasantlani111]

Fear is such a beautiful thread to puppet humans~

Hello beautiful souls I hope you are eating healthy, sleeping well, not taking anyone else's shit as you own. However today I really wanted to talk about fear and it's such a strong emotion because it can control you so much.

So speaking from my experience I have been really scared to do soo many things literally like anything because I was raised in an environment where everyone told me what to do, and they would actually get over protective of me. I know it comes from a place of love and care however it has another side to it which is basically I started fearing things so much. And it started controlling me. The reason why I'm sharing this is because if any of you are in a state of constant fear just know that you can let that go. I'll tell you exactly how to do that.

1) Believe in your self, bitch if you won't who else will~

No matter how hard life gets you gotta believe in you and ik it's hard sometimes, easier said than done. Whatsoever trust me, once you believe in yourself I swear to god you would have comparatively less fears.

2)Other people's opinion of you ain't your business ~

God I'm so tired of picking up on other people's opinions as my own and then I'll come back home and realise wait I don't really want to pick this opinion up. Listen everyone has rights to share their opinions and I truly respect it however, in everyone comes you too. Do not just listen or believe in everything you watch on social media or even everyone around you. Especially don't pick up on everyone's opinion please and don't listen to everyone, listen to people and if you don't align with it fine.

3) You do you~

Do your shit it doesn't matter go with flow with your own essence. The only time fear controls you is when you give it power. People are gonna scare you, they're gonna be like, “Omg you have multiple personality disorder ” or , “omg! if you shave your mustache it will grow even more” I have a moustache idgaf I shave it . Who cares? Listen do your thing and don't let unnecessary fear control you so much. You'll get screwed.

Don't let people's suggestion scare you.

Suggestions have no power until you give them the power. I read a quote like this in the book I'm reading i.e. “power of your subconscious mind” shout out to “Dr Joseph Murphy”

Listen your brain does exactly what you make it do, so if you accept a suggestion which is irrational you will act accordingly. Don't do that.

Meditate before sleeping

10 minutes or 5 minutes of meditation done before sleeping helps sooo much or even meditating a little everyday consistently. My therapist always tells me to meditate lol. You know why? Because it keeps you relaxed as well as, when you go in the state of relaxation that's when you brain transforms or creates new signals, it's a huge process however this is as per my knowledge.

Thankyou so much for reading until then stay grounded bitches, I love you guys so much 💗💗✨💅 keep slaying.

[siyasantlani111]

Attention is not love~

Hi guys it's been a while I guess, however today I want to talk about the fact that “attention is not love.” The reason why I chose to write about this is because we don't really give ourselves attention, we don't really validate ourselves so when someone does it for us we get high on that and we believe that someone who gives us attention loves us. However this could get dangerous. A lot of people might not be facing this because I never myself did it. However one day I realised pleasing other people is so subconsciously fitted in me, that it feels like an approval. And the problem with seeking approval is you'll never feel approved enough of. I think society always make us believe that we need someone's approval to feel good enough. I'm not the society's biggest hater but I'm not a supporter either. I think when we constantly want that external validation it stimulates us and helps release dopamine in our bodies however it's still temporary. I'm speaking from experience here. Last year I constantly wanted to be complimented and whenever I got those compliments I think I got high and if someone did not compliment me I'll focus on that instead of the positive ones. If someone made fun of me I would hate it, because obviously they did not approve of me. And it was really triggering and it triggered my fear of rejection wound , however I was in this constant loop of doing what I want then stopping it because people did not like it, then doing it again because people liked it. However this is not a fun mental place to be at. Because you constantly depend yourself worth on an opinion which comes from someone else. Self worth comes from inside and why are we dependent on external things to feel fulfilled? I'll tell you guys a story, whenever guys gave me attention I got really anxiously attached to them and would subconsciously in my brain did things to get attention. And when I got any form of attention I thought they were in love with me, which is stupid! And is insecure too! I don't blame myself for being that person however I have had to take enough responsibility to make myself realise that no attention is not love. I have my struggles with this whole “validation” thing still. However it has gotten so much better . If you struggle with this then I might suggest you with certain things like,

1) validating yourself

2) Writing letters to your childhood self telling him/her how proud of them you are

3) when life gets hard talk to yourself and hug yourself and kiss yourself tell yourself you got this and you believe in you

4) Look into the mirror stare at your reflection tell yourself “I validate you, I'm proud of you”

The last activity is where your ego will come up and will tell you no you're ugly no you are not good enough still keep going. This might be cringey at first however it helps.

I would also recommend getting professional help.

One more thing which will help is doing shadow work questions.

Just keep on asking yourself why?

For example you ask yourself a question. Why do I seek constant validation from others, and the answer comes because I wasn't loved enough in my childhood, then ask yourself how did that make you feel and keep asking until you reach the root of the problem.

Once you do you are aware of why you act the way you act. Then ask yourself can I forgive this?And forgiveness doesn't mean giving second chances it means freeing yourself from that pain or from that resentment you have had. There are a lot of letting go meditations online I'd also recommend watching jullianhimself videos to learn more about letting go and shadow work.

Another thing which helped me was, meditating for 10 minutes without my phone or anything just with my thoughts and told myself that I believe in myself and I'm enough and I validate myself whilst taking deep breaths. It also helps a lot

However on last thing I would mention is that this is not funny when we depend our self on others to make us feel validated enough because it will never be enough. So validate yourself so much to a point where even no one did so it won't affect you that much. Also once I stopped getting high on validation I think whenever someone compliments me, it doesn't feel that special anymore because it's just a compliment and I'm truly grateful for the fact that I get compliments however it's just a compliment and it's not something to be kept on pedestal 😭

Thankyou so much for reading. Stay grounded bitches💅

[siyasantlani111]

Growth is fucking uncomfortable ~

Hi guys welcome back, the reason why I chose this topic is because today I did something which truly was out of my comfort zone and you should do it too. Sometimes in life we really need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Why? Well because we do not grow in our comfort zone as well as, we only grow when we do something out of the box of our comfort zone.

I think there are days in my life where I just fucking hate putting myself out there because, when you do so you leave so much room for opinions and criticism. And honestly I don't like criticism, because in my head there's always this one voice which criticises me. Idk why but whenever I go out and put myself out there where clothes I want to or have the fun I want to, this voice tries to get a little more louder and louder to a point it mentally drains me. And after that when someone says something bad or gives me a bad reaction it truly just makes me feel like 10 times worse. However with therapy all these thoughts of I'm not good enough or my inner critic has started getting less intense. So today I'll try to teach you guys and myself on how to be who you are no matter what and no matter how hard it is.

1) Push it and go with the flow.

Whenever someone makes a snarky comment or remark about you do not engage in that, if someone laughs at you let them you keep doing your shit, it's fucking hard uk hut it's meant to be hard. Because their opinion of you is not your business it never will be, it shouldn't even be. Going with ue flow is something I struggle with sooo much, I hate going with the flow hate it like anything I want to know everything I want everything under my control, life's not gonna workout that way though. See one thing I have learnt about being my authentic self that it's not fucking easy. Why? Because when you a being authentic people will judge you, people will talk shit about you and you will get attention. Attention that too much of it something I hate, but when you are being who you are it's gonna fucking happen and what's insane is their is no probability that people are gonna love you or like you, but then you are not being who you are to be liked are ya?

2)Stop seeking external validation~

See when you wear something stop asking people do I look good? Why do you care? Uk when we fail to validate ourselves that is the time we want external validation, but at the end of the day it's fucking temporary, it makes no sense. And also it doesn't matter, I was watching a video of Jullian blanc he said whenever his kids made something and they showed their art to him, he always asked his kids how do they feel about what they made, you know why? He wanted his kids to learn self validation. You guys don't realise this is an endless loop, when you go around seeking external validation to satisfy the inner soul it will never feel fulfilled no matter what it will never ever feel fulfilled. Few weeks ago I went out somewhere with a sibling and they constantly kept on giving me looks for doing my own shit in public, and I still kept going and withdrawed myself from that situation and did the same thing with a bunch of few other people, uk I made new friends 💅

3) You will fall back to patterns over and over again ~

See growth is not linear you know what is? Consistency:) there's no probability of you getting what you want but there's a probability of you being consistent bo matter what:) when you do something be consistent no matter what, doesn't matter how hard it is do it for 5 minutes if you can't do it for 1 hour, can't study fine. Do it for 5 minutes, can't eat healthy? Fine eat one meal healthy. You know I have started falling back into my anorexic or bullimic episodes again or started getting depressed again couldn't workout, couldn't socialize. You know what I did? I participated in some shit activity at school did my shit whilst my lips were trembling, fuck it. We can't care too much the more we do the worse it gets. Take small and healthy steps, be consistent look at the task instead of the price you will reach your highest potential no matter what. And there will come one day you will reach your highest potential my friend, keep going be like water go with the flow even through the cracks.

[siyasantlani111]

Watch out for these types of friends ~

Hi guys I'm back I'm literally so tired of people being friends with just dumb low life loosers. I'll share my friendship story with y'all so that you can realise that you deserve so much love even in friendships.

I had this one friend and honestly they were such a bad friend like I cannot forgive them for whatever mistakes they have made in the past with me.

1) They just wanna look cool~

Oh this girl she literally would say out my insecurities out loud in camera. And whenever I shared my biggest secret with them they literally just said it out loud without even realising how much it could hurt the other person. And they do all of this just to look cool in public. Just to laugh it off and have fun. Not only this much but also one time I randomly shared them a photo of me in a face mask doing my skin care and they made fun of that in front of the entire friend group. They literally showed it as reference to laugh it off and make jokes.

2) Do not be friends with people who are not self aware and constantly play victim.

Listen people who aren't aware of themselves are the most dangerous kind of people. Because these people are constantly avoiding themselves. And someone's lack of self awareness is none of your fucking business.

3) They constantly bring out the worst in you

Such friends will constantly trigger you sooo much to a point where you will turn resentful. So instead of turning into a resentful person go to therapy and work on yourself. Literally, block them.

4)They never and I mean like never ever respect your boundaries

My old friends they never respected my boundaries whenever I shared my point of view or opinion on something they just laughed it off and told me that you take things seriously. Okay yes I do? And? What are you gonna do about it. There are certain things I'm not okay with and no matter what happens I don't wanna be okay with them. And that's okay to have boundaries. This one friend of mine she didn't even respect my biggest NO like literally and instead of that she started guilt tripping me. And guys believe me when I tell you I have been such an ugly people pleaser that when I used to set boundaries I felt really bad. Now regardless of that I did. And imagine being a people pleaser who sets boundaries or is trying to and gets guilt tripped over and over again.

5) They cannot be trusted or they talk behind your back ~

Run. I literally means it run. If your friend or friends cannot be trusted with a secret runaway from them. Because if you stay in such a friendship, you both will need therapy. You became you stayed and them because they broke your trust. Listen if someone betrayed someone in any kind of way or used your insecurity to laugh it off. Then that's super disgusting. I say it out loud they have a very dark soul. Because how souless or heartless are you that you literally use people's insecurity against them just to look cool. Such people are insecure in themselves and insecure people who project themselves are the most dangerous people stay away from them. They are also in a secret competition or back bite about you. This shows lack of courage. They do not have enough courage to talk to you on face so they back bite . Dumb. Super dumb. Such people need to get their brains checked and you need therapy if you have been in this kind of friendship.

6) They play victim or have no empathy

If your friends do not empathize you when it comes to your trauma or anything you went through. And they just laugh it off. Such friends belong to the trash can. My friends right now if I called them and told them can we talk I'm kind of sad. They will be their for me . They actually empathize me. When needed be. If you friends have no empathy and make jokes about your feelings they not your friends they're just low life losers with whom you hangout with. True friends will give you a shoulder to fucking cry on . And will love and care about you no matter what . It's good to have friends you can have fun with but not know that they can only be their when you need to have fun. Not when you need to really cry. So be very very alerted of that. And also whenever they make a mistake they will not work on that mistake but would actually just continue that same behaviour. These people have so low sense of self worth that they cannot digest the fact that they made a mistake and they should take accountability of their mistake.

Okay guys I loved writing this blog. Thankyou so much for reading. 💗💗💗💗

[siyasantlani111]

The underworld of overthinking ~

Full of fears, full of lies

What should I believe in?

My brain playing so many tricks.

My thoughts have thoughts and those thoughts have thoughts too.

Is this an underworld or a prison?

Where I'm the prisoner.

The more I keep quiet the more it spreads like a venom injected in my veins.

The venom of soo much overwhelming.

Rivers of thoughts and waves of emotions just start spreading.

Sometimes have to shut up because the layers and layers of these thoughts won't go away.

However what's the benifit? The layers have layers and that too has layers.

Day by day these layers will shed away.

The advantage is only one, the creativity it brings in.

Sometimes it's worth the overwhelm

Sometimes it isn't ~

[siyasantlani111]

Things I have learnt so far~

Hi guys welcome back to my channel I know it's been a very very very long time. However today I will jot down some of the things I have learnt so far. From my therapist, my biggest inspirations, as well as myself.

Whatever I write down here is for educational and self help purposes. Please do not take any thing put down here for granted. God's watching all of us.

1) Your triggers teach you something

We as human beings have been not really taught how to practice healthy ways to deal with our emotions and due to that we resort to unhealthy mechanisms or just surface our feelings down. What happens is it gets stored in our subconscious or unconscious brains and then in early adulthood or in adulthood it starts showing up in our behaviours. A triggered state of mind is when you feel extremely overwhelming, overthinking happens, as well as you feel a lot of intense negative emotions which come with a chain of thoughts. So when you get triggered learn how to deal with these emotions in a way which won't hurt you or the other person around.

2) Practicing mindfulness

I always mention this, even in my recent post did so. You know why? I'll tell you guys a story. Recently I was talking to a respected counselor and they told me they see Symptoms of depression or depressive disorder in me. And some part of me kind of believes it's true. Why? Because the way I behave is a reflection of my subconscious belief system. There are days when I want instant solution to my problems. And I would go crazy researching something or the other to find an answer. The only answer I always come accross is to stay mindful and grounded. It's very difficult for me to do so, because I'm a very impatient and hyper person.

3) Never ever change your belief system:)

Listen if you believe in something even when people around you might not believe in it realise you need to still keep going. There would be days of misery and hopelessness and you might feel like what you believe in doesn't exist. But it does. Why am I telling you this? Today I went and had a talk to with my personal therapist and I said something, after they gave me a very annoyed look. Regardless of that look I told them, “but mam I do believe in this” and she was like okay. What I'm trying to conclude here is sometimes the most understanding people might not be able to understand you. Does that mean they're wrong no, it's just that people are a sum of their own perspectives and knowledge and experiences.

4)The subtle art of not giving a fuck

Amazing book. Gives us reality check. However here I'm not talking about the book I read almost 30 pages of . Basically what I learnt is no matter what you do in life you will always have something or the other to give a fuck about. Last year when I was in a loop of extreme external validation, I gave fucks about the same. This year I'm in a loop other things so I give fucks about those things. Whatever you give a fuck about is under your control.

5) Letting go~

Detachment is the best attachment. Detachment not something when you don't give any fucks about, it's about practicing patience, letting the chains of too much attachment or fear or anxiety not hold you so much. I was watching this video of an old lady she said let them, let them break your heart, let them appreciate you, let them fall in love with you, let them just let them. Why? Because that's how we learn in life. It's not easy letting go is something I absofuckingluetly hate. It feels like giving up. And I don't like that. But also at the same time letting go is freeing yourself energetically from heart break which we have been through. It is the art of giving yourself, your mind, your soul the space to understand the value of not letting anything hold you so much, to a point where the thought of you loosing it gives you chills.

It's not easy, for me there are days when I don't wanna let go. But it's something which comes with practice.

6) other people's opinion is none of your business.

The only who truly knows you at a core level is you, accept opinions because people have rights but once you know who you are. Their opinions, perspective on you won't really matter too much:)

7) protect your energy~

What we think, talk, look at has our energy. Especially if you are an empathetic person, you will get drained and I mean like anything in public places. Walk in nature to protect your energy. By nature we were born by nature we heal. Nature is something which really has connections with us. So protect your energy. Set like 30 mins a day to overthink all the negative thoughts then tear the page and move on with your life.

[siyasantlani111]

Hi guys welcome back to my account. Please read this. Because this truly -truly and tru-fucking-ly helpsssss

[siyasantlani111]

Detachment ~

As I promised I'll write about detachment so, first of all I'm so grateful that I have a platform to write about this topic and explain to it y'all . Guys detachment literally saved my life i say it again detachment literally saved me. So why do I always write about detachment in my blogs and why do I think it's so important to be detached? I'll share all of this with you right here as well as I'll let you guys know how I practice detachment and my life experiences.

How do we practice detachment?

First things first, for example you want something in life it could be anything, now sometimes we just get crazy over this thing we want and put it on the pedestal, if we want something we quickly want it, we are extremely impatient and we just want it right now, now the thing is you have to let it go, you have to be vulnerable, you have to believe in god or universe that you will receive it after putting the right amount of hardwork. Now the way I practice detachment is by simply believing and having so much trust in universe and god that he will deliver me what I want and i don't have to think too much about it, yes I do have to think about working really hard to recieve it but after i put in my effort thats it, that's it, then my work is done. Or maybe sometimes I'm like channeling from a limiting belief and think, “what if I never have it?. ” Then I just simply believe something way better will be dileverd, maybe right now I can't see how better it can get, its ok i know god has better for me. Thats how I practice detachment.

After i started practicing detachment i can say I feel less stressed. Yes I have days amd weeks and I'm constantly attached I'm impatient too, but that's just a bad day or week not a bad life.

Guys another way of staying detached is by putting so much compassion and efforts into your goals that you just know, that you will recieve what you desire. Always put effort.

2) Learn how to love yourself

when you see a celebrity you like and you are like omg they are so beautiful, do you say that about yourself? You send paragraphs about how much you love someone but do you write paragraphs about yourself? You gift people so much do you ever do it for yourself? You constantly just people please and let people step all over you, do you ever think about yourself? . When you listen to music, read books or watch a movie why do you imagine yourself with a partner? Why can't you just imagine your self having a lot of fun alone?

Guys we need to learn how to love ourselves.

I'm going to be very honest if you guys don't love yourself you won't be able to embrace your authentic self or your flaws. Yes loving yourself is hard but so is not loving yourself. What os authenticity? Being your authentic self doesn't only include the good parts, it includes your flaws too, and in oder to be your authentic self you would have to love certain parts of your self which yiu may not like.

3) start seeing things as a protection

Now one of the best ways to stay detached from something is to start seeing things as a protection.

For example: you asked god to give you something and you didn't recieve it.

Now instead of thinking “god never answers my prayers ” or “things don't workout the way I want them to” why can't we preceive it as god is protecting me frome something, and thats why I didn't recieve it and I'm okay with it, because I know god wants the best for me.

4) The reason we attach ourselves to so many situations is because we have attachment issues.

Why do we keep on constantly attaching our self worth based on silly little things or situations? Why do we think that If I get this particular grade then only I'm worthy of being loved or when i weigh this much I'll be loved.

Let me break it upto you guys, it never works out this way. Been there done that.

Now if your grades are really dropping or you're really unhealthy physically then yes you have to change it.

But you know some people they just don't recognise themselves and are in constant unimaginary battles with themselves and the world. And because of that they constantly attach themselves to numbers and situations, and they think they 'll find happiness only when they have what they want. But again when they have it they don't feel that happy and they don't feel that good, because there's a void in them which they're missing, there's something inside them which they're to full fill through materialistic things, they're trying to escape something.

You know when did I realise this thing

? When I was watching Liz and then everything started making sense.

I'll tell you guys why. My entire life I have been telling myself I'll finally be happy if I loose that weight. And before I started to workout, I was like even if I look like the bare minimum or normal person I'll be so happy in life. Or I would compare myself and be like if I looked better than her I would be happy. This never happened, because here I'm writing this right now whilst I lost so much weight, however I still don't feel happy somedays and sometimes I just hate my body.

It's because I attached myself to materialistic things when I needed to fill something and face something inside of me.

5) stop forcing connections with people

Connections aren't meant to be forced because they're connections. A forced connection is not a connection.

Do you guys know how desperate it is to constantly be the person who's always forcing people to connect with them, or have some sort of relationship with them. Now I'm not saying don't be friends with people, I'm saying for example you like someone as a friend go directly tell them that instead of beating about the bush, because it will never workout if you are desperate.

I used to force connections like crazy okay, let me break it upto you it doesn't work out at all, the only that happens is you feel drained, feel like your side is one sided and that's just really tiring.

“ you don't chase you attract”

Start realising as much as you chase something it is going to run away from you okay. I literally have been around people who would literally force connections like crazy, like so crazy and once I started realising that forced connections are just draining I started stop being influenced by them.

I was reading a book in which there was this badass character oh and the amount of “I don't give any fuck” energy she radiates is so authentic and confident. She was literally a loner and she didn't like peopling a lot and she couldn't give any fucks about it . And she was literally like okay with her “loner” thing and she wasn't desparate okay. She did have her little friend group but even there shw wasn't desparate or anything. Btw her name is Teal Van Doren.

You guys don't realise how peaceful it is to just not be desperate. Why are we so desparate in relationship? Like “omg I'm not gonna find another person”, or “omg I have to be friends with him/her or else I would be alone at school”

6) start realising life is literally like a movie

So for example you are watching a movie and you know who are the main characters who's the female and male lead, so even whilst watching the movie you just know that these main leads are just gonna be together, regardless of them being enemies or regardless of them being neighbours or anything. Similarly our lives are like that god is binge watching our lives he knows whats going to happen next, he knows whats meant for you will simply come find you. No other way around , you know there are so many people who were literally like rock bottom their entire childhood, or they were literally like literally like not having a very good childhood and some how they're now big celebraties or well known. You know why this happens? Because no matter what happens life figures itself out.

7) Work so hard that you simply believe that you're going to have it.

You know guys when I mentioned it before I meant it, I know this girl and she's extremely hard working and I have known her for quite a while now she's legit like extremely hard working, you know once she told me she wants good grades and I was like yeah thats great! And you know since then every single day I see her studying really hard , one day you know it was her birthday and like she called me and was like was asking me a doubt and I was like telling her and you know form the background voice it can be said that she was literally telling her family to wait for 5 minutes because she's studying and will cut the cake after 5 minutes . And you know that is the fucking spitit! Like genuinely this girl is one of the most hardworking people I have had in my life and you know she'd be tired at night and whatever and would atill finish her worm and then go to bed, thats the thing which always made me looked upto her , and you know when I asked her that doesn't she get tored she said yes she does, but she enjoys doing it too, she loves improving her qork efficiency. And one day I asked her “bro you work really so hard but aren't you scared it won't work out?” and she said “ thats not gonna happen” and I looked her and asked her what does that even mean? Because i was so confused, she says again “you really think it won't workout? Whats your hardwork lacking which makes you think that way?” and my perceptive changed from that day, because this girl hard so much shine and spark for what she wanted she couldn't just believe that it won't work out and yeah guys this girl really succeeded like crazy crazy!

6) If its for you, it will find you.

Sometimes we don't get what we want even if we let it go. Sometimes we let go things because we expect that things will ne received. However let's land bak to reality, its not for you. Its harsh but it is what it is.

7) Don't let your ego come in the middle of your goals.

If your truly want something then no matter how many times people don't like your product, or how many times you get rejected, you won't let it make you feel demotivated, you know why? “Because 100 people can call me wrong and reject my product, however god is with me ad I don't care.” I'll keep going and going and going, is the mindset not “omg I failed”

Because honestly are you even confident in your craft if a smal little hurdle came in the way and it started shaking up your entire confidence. That's what our ego does, when we go through failure it says “ you can't win” “you always loose” tell it to shutup and then you keep going and going and going again and again and again. It's you against your own ego.

So guys I think I'm going to end my blog here I loveyou guys so much, thankyou for reading, it feels such an honour to shae my thoughts with y'all❤️❤️❤️.

[siyasantlani111]

The alley of acquainting with oneself.

Running so much from the shadow self only to be acquainted with it at the end

Own needs neglected, own self rejected. Running so much from the base of your true self

It will pull you back towards itself .

Because all of us are connected with it, and no matter how much we run away or cowardice ourself it just wants us back.

Running away from your true authenticity

Like begging for another soul in the same body.

And because of not being who you are, you will crack.

Nothing to loose , nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be rejected from.

Falling in the claws of surrender and letting go

And in the darkness you just flow

And let it all consume you until nothing is left but the darker side of the darkness you always ran away from.

It's dark and scary

It's unknown , it's a stranger feeling

Confusion is glowing .

And all that can be seen is black, tears are flowing, and you're let going.

And then reach the end of this alley or maybe darkness?

You reach the surface which is not really dark, it's the end of the alley.

And you meet your true self

And your shadow self pulled you towards itself.

~ Siya🥀

[siyasantlani111]

The unchosen child~

The unchosen inner child

She just wants to be choosed, choosed by the people around her, her friends, still wasn't deared

For validation she went wild.

Fiercely competitive she was, always fighting to be the ace or to be the one people would go for.

However she was chosen once, by bullies

Constantly dragged down, she was always fighting with her self now, she had to fight with those bullies and her insides

She turned into an utter mess.

Always the unchosen child or the friend she was.

Always the unchosen child who was dragged down

And because of always being abandoned she started choosing external validation and couldn't take decisions of her own

The unchosen child

For validation went wild.

However still couldn't get it

One day she realised everyone tried to bring her down was because, she was above

And then she was chosen again

By no one but herself, and now because of that, with herself she is in unconditional love.

~Siya🥀

[siyasantlani111]

Free~

I just want to be free

I don't want to be constrained by the voices and eyes of demons inside my head

I just want to be me.

I want to loose it all

Loose all the opinions of people around me.

I want to be like water flowing and flowing, glowing and glowing, blue and blue.

About people's sentiments and opinions I don't want to have any clue.

I want to stand wide and tall

Above my demons , who have haunted me for so long

Don't want to stick inside the perpetual state of my apprehensions

I just want to be creative, let my thoughts write down my expressions.

I want to flow and just flow

Until my authenticity glows

until I reach my end, until I'm doing my best until my soul is in peace and my soul resides in peace

I don't want to be the number one or the ace.

I just want to be free

Just want to be me .

I don't want to be defined by something that never belonged to me

I'm just me.

I want to flow and just flow until my authenticity glows.

~Siya🥀

[siyasantlani111]

Don't hang out with low life loosers , hang out with yourself instead ~

Hi guys so today I'm going to talk about how you should not let people make you feel embarrassed of who you truly are. See one thing I have learnt about authenticity is that, no matter how many times you try to push your authentic self away, it will always come out, no matter how many times you try to neglect who you truly are it will always show up as a sign of wanting acceptance. My entire life I always tried to push off my authentic self and my creativity which came with it, because I was always taught to be ashamed of it and was always scared of being perceived however, I'm so grateful to god that I have the resources to realise my authentic self and just tap into her.

What is fear of being perceived?

Personally for me it was when people noticed me doing something, or they noticed me just dancing or buying something or legit just literally doing random things, whenever I'd go to places to buy something I would get anxious as I didn't want anyone to give me a lot of attention to a point where I feel embarassed of being who I'm. And I know where does this come from.

1) Be aware of your patterns and behaviours

See one thing I have and will have in my life is self education and understanding, this is something which will be in my soul until the end. When you are fully aware regarding why you have certain fears or reactions you can heal it, because then you recognise the reason behind the pattern and realise that was not really your pattern but was someone else's pattern or behaviour.

2) Don't listen to loosers

So this is something I would majorly love to focus on today, don't listen to loosers. Who are loosers? People with whom you feel embarrassed to be your authentic self , you know I don't give fucks about such people.

Recently life was getting so hard for me to a point where I was feeling physically ill because of my mental health.

I was in a toxic relationship with this friend who honestly betrayed me and bullied me and made me feel like shit, and honestly at that moment I couldn't realise it however I let them go, and then again I went back to them and now this is completely against what I usually write here, however they're not a part of me anymore.

See a lot of people are going to laugh at you and make jokes about you when you are being your authentic self, or when you have a goal in life and are working towards it, but do you give any fucks? No!

You know what I call these people who laugh at me? loosers. They can just get lost I don't care, I have a tunnel vision and I can only see that.

The other day I was sitting at class and I was just agreeing with my teacher whilst they were saying something, and people started making jokes about that too, I ignored them.

3) Anger is a good emotion if put into right places

You know when I went back to this toxic person they acted happy and were joking around me for a while and in front of other people they just complete ignored me, and ghosted me physically, they completely made me feel neglected as well as ignored me, I felt embarrassed for being so full of of love , I felt embarrassed of my own affection, I felt angry and depressed, and you know what anger says? It says hey you can't let this slide, your boundaries are crossed here.

This friend really ignored me in public when there were a lot of people around us, when there were few people we knew they acted like my friend.

I allowed this person to hurt me so much to a point where I was having crazy thoughts and was having sucidal thoughts. And then I was like wait! Fuckk offff! because honestly ain't no way this is healthy , because Siya is not going back to them because she felt like giving up . I felt like giving up my fucking beautiful life because this person made me feel unloved, I felt so bad that all I could see was darkness and totally lost connection with myself and my god. And honestly that's not something healthy, because who the actual fuck are you to make me feel like giving up on my life? And then this person is like “I ghosted you because I needed some alone time”, now I left them alone for good. I genuinely respect it when people need their space, but this person literally acts happy and normal once and straight up ignores me after few hours and then says I need space. I gave them space for good.

Because ain't no way you have so much power over me to make me feel like shit or make me feel so depressed to a point where I can't think about living.

And then i was like I'm a fucking miracle and honestly this person can just get lost. Because here I'm putting so much love and energy into them and they just ignore me in front of people like I'm nothing.

Fuckk offf.

4) Toxic people will never agree to what they have done to you

Toxic people are emotionally immature and miserable in life, and they don't like it when someone is not attached to them, because then they know they don't have power over them, see when someone is toxic no matter how many times you tell them that they hurt you or you felt betrayed they'd just make up excuses they'd say things like “omg but it's not my fault ” “omg but why should I get in the middle of this ” just leave them, no need to defend them. You know what I would also suggest if this toxic person gave you any gifts?

Then just give those gifts to needy people.

Because I made a huge mistake here, I would keep the gifts of toxic people even though I removed them from my life and that would constantly remind me of them, so one day I was like I'm actually going to throw it all out or just give it to needy people. And cheers! you just moved on.

Because if you don't do that you will constantly have their energy around you in the form of gifts, and you will constantly miss them a lot or it might be a distraction in your moving on plan.

Also just block these people who make you feel embarrassed.

5) Don't get too attached

Now the reason why I had suicidal thoughts was because I was really attached to this toxic person and gave them the power to make me feel this way, and thats when I realised I was too attached

What is an unhealthy attachment?

Unhealthy attachment is when you constantly just think about one person or you can't do any work because you are just attached to them and think about texting them, just block them or I don't like it when we are constantly texting or just say that I don't think its working out if we continue being on our phones all day texting or calling eachother or literally anything 24/7.

6) why do you find emotionally unavailable men attractive?

I don't know what these men are doing all day to make my beautiful ladies be obsessed with their emotional unavailability . Now I never had this problem anyway, because emotionally unavailable humans are just not my type. And honestly ladies if you like men who are emotionally unavailable then sit down and ask yourself why do you like such a shallow men? Is it his appearance you like? If yes then girl just go finger yourself and come back to the real world and see his true colours.

Also a lot of women start fantasising when a guy starts talking to them, don't do that babe you are setting yourself up for heartbreak.

Men are very selfish I'll tell you why, see there was this guy who needed my help so I simply just helped him, however when I needed help he would not really help me at all, he would only talk to me when he needed help, you know then I was like get lost.

See sometimes we don't like men we just have wounds to heal, once you start healing yourself you will see that and realise this guy wasn't even that special it was all your energy you were putting into him.

7) Mindfulness during autopilot mode

See a lot of people with ptsd are always on autopilot mode, they don't know how they are getting shit done, even though they're getting shit done. You know why does this happen? It's because of lack of mindfulness.

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is being connected to your surroundings or whenever you are doing something or your brain just wanders off to some other place is not mindfulness. A lot of people find it difficult to be mindful in their day to day activities , you guys don't realise if we start being mindful of what we are doing we will be even more efficient and would be able to do deep work on that task.

Ways to practice mindfulness

1) activating the sense of hearing

Sit down and listen to the voices around you or go out in nature and listen to birds chirping.

2) activate your visual sense .

See the things around you and recognise them.

3) touch or hug a tree, and feel the sensations whilst touching it.

4) practice mindfulness while eating .

A lot of people aren't mindful when they're eating, and because of that we emotional eat.

8) Meditation and having a sense of individuality

I can't function properly without meditation or being alone atleast 1-2 hours a day. I feel constantly drained then.

And it is so important to have a sense of individuality if you want to be confident, or else you would have no opinions and would pick up on other people's opinion or their energies.

And ways to be alone is , going to calm places alone, there are certain places I go to and I don't like to take anyone with me because I just want to be alone and at peace.

And I practice my individuality in meditation too, and so can you, now I know for a lot of people its difficult to meditate in the beginning and it was for me too, because I'm a very restless person and I didn't like to sit at one place only, so I would mediate for just 5 mins a day that's it, you can do that by listening to 5 min guided meditations or by counting till 300 or whatever number.

And now I have reached a point where I can meditate for 1 hour and I enjoy it now.

9) being an energy picker

See I easily pick up on peoples energy so for example If I have to go out on a picnic for the entire day, one day before that I would feel a lot nervous to be around a lot of noise and a lot of people. Even though I would have a lot of fun however when I'm back home I won't feel calm even though it was fun to go out for an entire day. And this happens because I pick on energies pretty fast and because I'm an empath, so usually when I'm going out with people I love I still come back home and don't feel calm then I become extremely high on dopamine, which is a good thing but then again I can't focus on my own stuff because of that. This is not because you are an introvert it's just because you are an empath. Now see the thing with me is I'm not an introvert, I'm 100% an extroverted person however I still don't feel calm if I'm constantly around people even if they are nice human beings.

If you are an empath you have to be a little careful to whom you talk to because there are people who would drain you of your energy, because you would easily pick up on their energy.

10) innerwork is hard

See when I started working on my inner self and healing her, I have/had a lot of difficulties.

When we start meditating we become even more empathetic towards the world. But it can be a little dangerous because when you are working on yourself you start understanding yourself at a very deep level and also the people around you, but again its none of your business to heal or fix them, understanding people is a reflection of you understanding yourself. Also if you are at the stage of your healing where you just understand why people are like that then it's a sign that you have started embracing yourself and that's the only thing you can do.

And also because of that I have learnt something, that even if I understand why someone behaves in a certain way, it's none of my business to tell them that, don't just go around and tell this to people they would not understand it no matter how many times you explain them and also it's not your business to be honest, get out of there bro it's not your orbit their life is not your life, instead just go and understand yourself even more .

And again with empathy, don't just have empathy for people have it for yourself too because if you don't then, your boundaries are crossed.

11) therapy doesn't work at all

You know therapy won't work at all if you don't want to work on yourself or fix your wound.

Nothing works out if you don't want it to work out. See I always knew I needed to heal myself however for the first time when I got the opportunity to go get therapy I didn't take it, because i wasn't sure if it was going to work out or not. You know why I wasn't sure? Because I didn't want to heal myself and I thought it was cringe but when things started going overboard I knew I needed to go to therapy. And the first session I booked was literally postponed for 1-2 weeks however I still wanted to go! Because now I was like if I don't ask for help then I won't survive, I had no option but to go to therapy, I had no option but to talk about my problems even though I didn't like to open up. You know why I had to go and open up? Because you know what would have happened if I wouldn't have gone to therapy? I knew my inner self woud die one day if I don't go, I would completely loose Siya and won't be able go find her again, I would be stuck forever in my vicious cycle of trauma and that feeling scared me.

So I had no option but to open up even though I was scared of it and it was not my comfort zone.

12) going to therapy doesn't mean you are mentally ill

Listen the very very first time I went to therapy was in 5th grade and my teacher sent me there because she told me I don't know how to behave in class and then she called my parents. And felt like I'm mentally ill the reason due to which she sent me to a counselor made me feel mentally ill, and when I first went to that counselor right? I didn't open up about my problems I just answered whatever questions she asked me. And she was a shit counsellor so it's good that I didn't open up. Because she told everything to my teacher. And I realised that even when I was in 5 th grade I was ashamed to open up. You know why I was ashamed to open up? Because I was scared of being scolded at or hit or they would take it nonchalantly.

See if you open up with someone and they take it lightly and say it's not a big deal, then just don't deal with them. Because if you are feeling bad so much to a point where you don't like life anymore and someone just telling you it's totally light then just f them. Because your feelings are valid! And you are not the problem, here , they are. Because what do they know about how you are feeling?

Please consider your feelings valid if you don't like something you don't like it and it's not to be taken lightly.

Ok so I'll end this blog here guys. Thankyou so much for reading my blog, I'm so grateful to have you guys, I hope you consider your feelings valid and don't let anyone define it “unvalid” for you. I love you guys so much byeeee❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.