skylerthedutchie-blog

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I’m a dumbass

I get done with a post and I go to my dash and i see my fucking post but not the URL and I think, “Which one of these fuckers is stealing my content?” but its just my dumb ass so I’m fine thanks.

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420

I’m so sad, I was gonna do a post about when my first like (because this blog is shit) hit 420 days ago and I fucking missed it. I’m gonna kill my neighbor’s pet fly.

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Big Brother

No, not the government. We can talk about that later. 

This post goes out to the people with big brothers and the people who wonder what its like to have one.

The people with brothers will understand, and the rest will find out what it means to have a brother.

Here’s what its like. My brother is currently blaring the Russian National Anthem from his speaker at full volume just because he heard that we have a Russian exchange student in our neighborhood. 

My heart goes out to those with brothers. 

To those without brothers, my heart only half goes out to you, because they are really annoying and they suck, but they also are kinda, just maybe, okay. But only sometimes.

He sometimes writes letters to me when he finds out I’m in a depressive episode and he wishes me good dreams every night.

Only sometimes. He used to practice WWE moves on me and sucker punch me. so, it’s kinda a win lose situation. He still tries to wrestle with me, but now he knows that sisters bite. He is much more cautious with his two sisters.

Blessing with a curse I guess? Besides, the Russian National Anthem kinda sounds cool. Except when that’s what you wake up to right outside your room.

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Sorry

Serious post for my 6 followers who don’t even look at my posts. (This is actually for the LQBTQ+ community actually, but here goes) I hope at least one person sees this to answer my question. :)

As a Christian, I just want to apologize for the shitty behavior from my fellow Christians, it’s disgusting, and I’m sorry. It’s not o-fucking-kay (That’s a MCR reference, we like to have fun around here)

Also, do you guys consider Asexuals, Demisexuals, and Demiromantics to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community? I just wanna know what you think, even though I don’t think you can answer me.....

Have a lovely day, or night, or afternoon, and enjoy life, I appreciate you even if you don’t! 

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Hi?

I think I’m funnier than you fuckers think I am. At least I appreciate my shitty stories. This sounds so much more angst filled than I wanted it to....

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I’m just making multiple posts because I don’t wanna do homework :):

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After looking at everyone’s blogs, I realize that I am not like other blogs. 

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So, a little while ago I made a post about poetry, and later on I got a notification, and it said it was liked 69 days ago. I’m oddly proud, even though its only one like and I really wish it would stay this way forever. I’ll follow up when it becomes 420 days. Hehe

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I have another school story guys. 

So I go to a school that has kids from preschool to 12th grade. Highschoolers get offered more classes because we need the credits, so only Highschool kids can be on the yearbook staff. (This used to not be the case, I was in the yearbook staff when I was in seventh grade.) So I was on the yearbook staff again this year to get my technology credit. My school is very poor so we can’t afford to make tons of flyers or banners so we decorate the whiteboards in the office and entry way. Three of my classmates, lets call them... Frank, Anna, and Brandy were decorating one of the boards to advertise the yearbooks. (Anna is the one who I talked about in a previous post, the one about her having to pee). So anyways, Frank was Googling pictures of flowers so Anna and Brandy could draw them, and they wanted it to be perfect. So Anna messed up and tried to erase the dry erase marker, but it was still wet, so it smeared everywhere. So Brandy, she’s quite the problem solver, screams, “I need a paper towel!” No one got up to get her one, so she rips off her shoe and her sock and starts erasing the dry erase board WITH HER SOCK. Maybe I should have told you that before this, we had P.E. So she smeared her foot sweat all over the white board and just smeared it even more, and she reached over, pulled off Frank��s sock (He didn’t play,  also, they’re siblings) and wiped the board down with his sock. He snatched his sock back, left the room without a word, (my teacher doesn’t care) we hear “YEET!,” and he comes back inside with a socked foot, and a bare foot. Turns out, he threw it behind the school into the ditch. I’m just gonna say that my school is not built like a normal school. The highschoolers 9-12 all stay in one room, and that room is just one building connected to a bathroom and the lunchroom, so I could have opened the window and I could have seen him, that’s why we could hear his “YEET!” 

Thank you, goodnight, I’m sorry

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I haven’t made a post in ages, so let’s do this!

So one time, I was doing math, and I have super chill math teacher, right? So my friend leans over to whisper something to me and she falls right out her chair and slams her head on my table. I’m used to this, it happens all the time. So she quickly gets back up and hits her head again. She gets up to come talk to me and RUNS over to my desk. She is bad at running too. She realized she caught the teacher’s attention, so she stares him straight in the eyes and gives him some weird look, and because she wasn’t looking at where she was going, she ran into his podium. She turns around, kneels by my desk, and whispers, “I have to pee.” But she was really loud, and we were in a small classroom, and the other two kids in the class and my teacher busted out laughing, and he goes, “All that because you had to let your friend know you have to pee?” She hasn’t heard the end of it yet.

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Screw math, let’s eat cake.

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Poetry

Have you guys ever complained to your lit teachers about how hard it is to understand poetry? Well I did, and let me tell ya, it was not fun. She wasn’t rude, it was just dumb. I complained that I have a hard time understanding poetry, and she was all like,” Oh, yah, I get that, it’s super hard for me too! I don’t really read poetry that much because of that!” And that made me wonder... If poetry is hard for my lit teacher (who majored in English and Literature) then why do I, a young student, have to have the same level of intelligence as a forty year old woman? Huh? HUh? HUH? HUH?! I DO NOT QUITE HAVE THAT LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING OF SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE’S POEMS, I’M TRYING TO GET ON HIS LEVEL, BUT I CAN’T ASK HIM, CAN I?! WHY NOT??? BECAUSE HE’S DEAD, SO STOP PRESSURING ME SO HARD MOM AND DAD, I’M DOING MY BEST, BUT THIS STUFF WAS WRITTEN BY A BUNCH OF STUFFY OLD DEAD GUYS WHO PROBABLY THOUGHT I SHOULD BE IN BOARDING SCHOOL LEARNING HOW TO COOK! BUT NO, I HAVE TO READ THEIR CRAP INSTEAD. YOU KNOW WHAT? I WOULD RATHER COOK THAN READ THAT! Even worse!!!!!!!-- My parents admit to not understanding it, they admit its dumb, bUT I HAVE TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THIS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE DOING JUST FINE WITHOUT IT?! School sucks, anyone with me?

I’m editing this post a day later to say I overreacted and this poem was actually very easy to understand, I very much enjoyed the poem, and I don’t really know what to say, because I feel really dumb now, it was a cool poem. But now I have more to read, and I don’t think it will be as easy, but Samuel Taylor Coleridge and I are bros now. We cool.

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Imagine if Denny’s saw my egg post, would they even be sane enough to think I’m crazy, or would they agree that eggs are very beautiful? 

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Here’s another funny story--

I babysit for multiple families with kids that are at that stage where they say the first thing that comes to mind. So this one kid who thinks he’s a philosopher came up to me and was like,”Guess what I just realized.” And because I love these kids to death I was like,”Shoot.” He goes,”All straight men are actually lesbians because they love women, and all straight women are gay because they love men.” I haven’t slept in three days

He’s like 11.

I’m not saying that I’m amazed, its just that he constantly phrases things like those weird late night posts on tumblr. But he’s totally serious.....

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If you ever think you’re ugly or you think you made a bad decision, remember what a shaved bear looks like, and why it was shaved. The bear is a thing of nightmares, and some idiot had the idea to shave one in the first place.

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Funny Story for my zero followers--

My mom gets really mad when I don’t have my room clean, and my room is worse than you can ever imagine, I have about three or four spots on my floor that aren’t covered in clothes, canvases, my dog, or other stupid things. No joke, there is nowhere to go... Unless you know the room well. I have the spots strategically placed so I can reach my closet, dresser, and bed, I need nothing else... right? Right. So my mom said that she was sick of me living in these conditions and that I have to clean my room because I could easily get hurt. I explained that I could get around just fine, so she decided to challenge me, which doesn’t end well (usually for me) and I accepted. The challenge was that I wouldn’t have to clean my room as long as I never tripped over something and got hurt. I accepted, and we’re going on two months now, which is surprising because I am the clumsiest person ever. Even better, she has kept her side of the deal, and my room is still in terrible condition, yay!!!

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I hate it when you’re eating your two corn dogs and fried plantains and you are mixing mayo and ketchup to have mayo-chup and you make a mess with the ketchup and so you use your napkin to clean up the ketchup and after you have mixed the mayo-chup you get a little bit of the sauce mix on your right cheek and you grab your napkin to wipe it off and you accidentally wipe the whole TEASPOON OF KETCHUP ON YOUR FACE AND THEN YOUR DOG WON’T STOP FOLLOWING YOU AROUND BECAUSE YOU SMELL LIKE SOMETHING YOU PUT ON A HOT DOG. Anyone else relate?